My Brother's Best Friend (Crazy in Love Book 1) (19 page)

“Thanks, Stanson, didn’t mean to interrupt you; she’s really pretty.” “Not as pretty as you, but I’ve given up on you ever getting sick of Colin’s pretty face. So I’m trying to move on with a good attitude.” Pretending to laugh, I think, I won’t get tired of him but he could get tired of me before walking off to grab Anna before heading to where the boys hopefully still were.

“I think I know where they are, come on.” Anna nods and follows me, but still looks nervous about dealing with my brother. We inch up on the dark part of the pool where the lights aren’t turned on and see Wallace and Blaine drinking beers and talking quietly.

“Hey, brother,” I say to let him know Anna and I have arrived. “Well, if it isn’t the two girls that have been missing all night. Funny you show up when we’ve just given up on you. And I don’t know if I’m even good to talk to right now. Did you both lie to me or just one of you? How come I saw a picture of my sister looking messed up and being held by Decker without ever hearing about it?”

Frantic, I ask him, “Did Colin see it?” Wallace meets my eyes and says, “He’s the one that showed it to me, Reag. Did you know that happened and not tell us?” I can tell the idea that I would keep something like that from him cut deep.

Before I could say anything, Anna speaks up, “She didn’t know, Wallace.” Wallace slowly focuses his gaze on Anna and responds, “That’s what I thought. Which makes everything a whole lot more fucked up, my own girl kept this from me. What the hell can I do with this, Anna?”

I can tell that she doesn’t know what to say or what to do, and I don’t know how to help her with this. Wallace is cut and dried. He loves her, but if she didn’t tell him, I know he’s going to think that she isn’t who he thought she was. But I think she is. I think she acted out of fear and shame for what happened.

But I can tell that Wallace wants to talk to her privately and starts leading her away from Blaine and I. It’s time for me to face Colin anyway. I turn to Blaine and ask him, “Did you see where Colin went? I couldn’t find him inside.”

Blaine looks at me confused, and I can tell that Wallace and Colin never showed him the picture or clued him into what’s been going on. “Uh, he wasn’t feeling good, Reagan. So he’s probably upstairs somewhere. He had a lot more to drink than usual. I’d check the bedrooms and the bathrooms. Do you want me to help you?”

“No,” I’ve got to go find him on my own, and I walk away from Blaine to find my boyfriend and straighten out everything any way I can. Checking all the bathrooms first, I don’t see him so I go to the bedroom we always use when we’re here. As I open the door, I hear female voices and something inside of me shuts down. But I tell myself it’s not true, that my Colin would never be in a bedroom with multiple girls.

But the sight that greets me on the other side shatters my heart. Laurel and Eva are sitting on either side of Colin while Brittany is on her knees in between Colin’s legs. Her hand is on his crotch, and all the girls are in bras and panties.

Colin is still fully dressed. I slam the door, and everyone looks up at me. The girls are all smiling happily while Colin looks confused and slowly tries to explain. “Hey, sweetheart, I came up here and hadn’t been feeling good. The girls all decided to come in and not go away.”

“Really, Colin, they refused to leave so you didn’t think you should. Brittany is literally on your dick, and you’re not upset that I’m here?” He shakes his head and stand up with a slight wobble. His zipper is still up but at this point I don’t know if it makes any difference to me right now.

“Baby, I’ve been so sick and trying to sleep it off. I don’t know when these girls even got in here.” “But Colin,” Brittany breaks in with her high voice, “you were happy to have us here. You were telling us all about the nasty picture you were sent that had Reagan topless.”

“You told them about it?” I yell, livid that he would ever tell my business to these bitches. “Baby, I didn’t even know that I did. I told you. I drank too much and came up here to get some sleep. I woke up, and they were all here. I asked them to leave, but I wasn’t physically up for making them. I also wasn’t interested in looking at any of them. I’m so sick write now, I can barely see straight.”

With that, he darts by me and heads to the bathroom attached to the bedroom. I turn to all of the backstabbers that hate me and order them, “Get out, now. I don’t mind fighting all three of you, but I don’t think that any of you want to get your ass kicked tonight. Believe me, the damage has been done.”

Laurel and Eva file out while Brittany spits out, “Hope you know how it feels, bitch. You set up Wallace with Anna and never thought how it’d make me feel. Now you can understand that it hurts when someone doesn’t think about you. I loved him just like you love Colin.”

Seething with the hurt and anger than had been inflicted I don’t say another word, but point her towards the door while flicking her off. “Classy,” she spits out as she leaves.

I hear Colin getting sick in the bathroom and feel compassion for him. If he hadn’t seen the picture, he’d never have gotten drunk like this and ended up with those three. But he hadn’t made them leave, and he’d told them about what had happened with me. And I didn’t know how far it would’ve gone if I hadn’t gotten here when I did.

For me, right now, I knew it was over. I love him, and I thought we would always stay together, but I realized we’d gotten together too young and never faced any real adversity. I need to know that even if he met someone prettier at college, that he’d still choose me. I couldn’t wonder constantly that he was cheating or wanting too. Even if things got rough, we had to go to each other first, and neither of us had.

And I had to prove to him that I’d choose him too. He didn’t think I would. I knew he thought he’d lose me by the way he acted about Decker. I wanted every moment of my life to know that he was mine, and we were together. But that wasn’t going to work. And I had to trust someone and be completely confident. Cheating was what happened to my parents, and I could never let it happen to me, and it almost did.

Looking pale and exhausted, Colin comes back out and sits down on the bed. “Baby, I’m so sorry about all that. I was so drunk and feeling so awful that I didn’t even think about the situation that I was sitting in the middle of.” “Did you realize that Brittany was rubbing your dick?” Looking confused, he shakes his head, “Hell, no, hard to admit, but I lost most feeling everywhere cause of hurting so bad. I’m so sorry, sweetheart, I’d never let her touch me like that. I didn’t even know.”

It hurts cause he’s saying all the right words, but I know that I still can’t get over it. I can’t trust him right now, and it’s all gotten too hard to deal with. I think of all the pain and drama that was in my parents relationship, and I just want to turn it all off.

But I try to explain first about the picture. “Colin, I want you to know that I had no idea about the picture or what was going on when it was taken last weekend. I got sick and woke up that day not remembering any of that. Decker and Anna were acting weird, but I thought that it was only because I was at their house. I’d never been there before. I was good all week until I got a text today with that picture.

I freaked out and went to go find Anna immediately but found Decker instead. He explained that there was a guy that was coming to make trouble and Anna had gone outside to help him handle it. While they were gone, a group of rough girls decided to drug me and when they got back they made everyone leave and tried to let me rest. He felt really bad, but I was and am still pissed at both of them. I found Anna and brought her here before finding you.”

He pulls me to him, and it breaks my heart that he thinks it’s all okay now that he knows what happened. I know he loves me to forgive me for all of that so quickly and understand. But I can’t get the picture of him surrounded by girls when I walked in out of my head. We’ve been together for so long that he doesn’t know anything else.

What if he gets to college and decides he doesn’t want a girlfriend? I know that girls will be throwing themselves at him since he’ll be the quarterback. I clutch him to me and breathe in his scent and feel how tight he holds. This is going to be the last time for a while if not forever. I need to remember every second of this with him.

After a few minutes, I pull back and look up at him. “We’re too young for all of this, Colin. I don’t think either of us knows how to handle this relationship. And you’re going to college too. I can’t handle the ups and downs and the uncertainty. I think we have to breakup for right now.”

“What the hell, Reagan? We can’t break up. I love you so damn much, and I know you love me. If you’re still pissed about the girls, be pissed. I can take it. But we have to be together. We need to be together.”

I can see the grief in his eyes, and I feel my own. But I can’t handle the worry of knowing we’re heading down the same path as my parents. I can’t handle the thought of cheating or a lack of trust. And right now I know I have it. I can’t get out of my head what I saw and what my fears are.

Colin and I are too young to know how to make it last, but I don’t want to be with anyone else. But I can’t tell him that. I want him to experience life without me and find out if he likes it better. I want him to be able to date and know for a fact that I’m what he loves. I can’t keep waiting for us to fall apart. I need to know instead that we’ll make it together.

“You’re serious, baby? You’re saying that you and I are over. We’re done?” I nod slowly and force out, “We’ll always be friends, Colin, but, yes, we can’t be together. It’s gotten too hard, and we’re too young.”

He leans in and kisses me hard before getting softer. I can’t help but kiss him back until we’re on the bed, and he’s slowly sliding my shirt off. “You know we’ll never be over, baby, right?” With his question, he brings me back to reality, and I stand up and walk towards the door.

“I’m so sorry, Colin. This isn’t what I ever wanted, but I can’t deal with anymore hurt right now.” With that I walk out and down the stairs, and I keep walking until I reach my car. Anna is curled up in a ball outside of it.

She looks up at me as I approach and says quietly, “He broke up with me. He says he can’t trust me anymore. I love him, Reagan.” I lean down and wrap my arms around her, “
I know you do. And he loves you too.”

She wipes some tears away before asking, “How’d it go with Colin?” “I had to break up with him. Things got too hard.” I slide into my car as she opens the passenger side door. Visibly upset, she asks, “Why would you do that, Reagan? You and Colin love each other.”

Laughing harshly, I say, “Because the Hall’s are not easy to love or love others. We’re distrustful and damaged, Anna. Feel lucky that you escaped us while you could.” She shakes her head at me before saying, “Unfortunately, I don’t feel lucky at all.”

Colin

What the hell was that? I was upset about Reagan and had too much to drink. Went upstairs and got surrounded by the girls in the bedroom. Didn’t feel completely aware or upset though and even wondered if it was a dream until Reagan walked in.

When the girls all left and Reagan explained what had happened with the picture, I felt so much better about everything until Reagan broke up with me. Losing her had always been my greatest fear, but part of me had never thought it would happen. And it had to happen when my brain was influenced by alcohol. And I had no good arguments, only that I love her.

But she was gone, and I’m drunk in Blaine’s house. I can’t drive or chase her, and I’ve got no way to track her down right now. I’m going to sleep this off and tomorrow chase my girl. She’s going to know that I won’t let her go or accept that loving each other isn’t enough for us to make it. Tomorrow I fix us and my life.

But in the morning, she’s gone. I head to her house after I clean up at mine, and I walk in and start up the stairs to her bedroom. “She left, man.” Wallace says from the table in the kitchen. “What? Where’s she go?” “She went to New York to model. She’ll graduate high school at an excelerated course up there while she’s working.”

Sputtering, I ask him, “How’d she get a job so quickly?” He shrugs sadly and explains, “The offers were always there, Colin. She’d decided that she wanted to spend high school and college with us before making any major career decisions. She didn’t feel the need or the rush in getting a career started till now.”

“How could she be so cold hearted and throw us away in one night? We’ve been together for years, Wallace. I want to marry her and be with her forever. She’s the only person that I laugh with; the only person that I see. How could she decide this in a day?”

“We’re both not big on getting hurt. What she saw, shook her more than she’d like to admit. She doesn’t want to think of you disappointing or betraying her, and we’re going off to college. She couldn’t handle all the uncertainty. Both of us are cowards, Colin. If it’s not a sure thing, Reagan and I don’t risk it.”

“Wallace, I don’t think I can live without her. What the hell am I going to do?” He laughs and says, “She’ll be back, Colin. Give her time, and she’ll be all yours again. But live your life. Don’t make it easy on her. When she does come back, make her see that you’ve become a man.”

Her brother thought she’d come back to me, and he knew her better than anyone. That’s what I had to believe. That she’d be mine again. I had to patient and concentrate on school and football. Reagan would always be my girl; only she hadn’t realized it yet.