Read My Date From Hell Online

Authors: Tellulah Darling

Tags: #goddess, #Young Adult, #Love, #YA romantic comedy, #teen fantasy romance, #comedy, #YA greek mythology

My Date From Hell (17 page)

BOOK: My Date From Hell
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Sympathy overwhelmed me, magnified by the effects of the arrow, and I lunged into hug mode. “You know it wasn’t. That was just a dick thing to do to a kid.”

Kai’s breath hitched at my words. Without meeting my eyes, he repositioned us with his arm around my waist. We kept walking as best we could like that. “Anyway. Don’t like dragonflies.”

I so hated Hades. While I had qualms about fighting my father, I had none about fighting Kai’s. I tried to lighten the mood. “How would someone say ‘I love you’ in Greek?”

Kai shot a sideways glance at me. “Something you want to tell me, Goddess?”

I swallowed. Hard. “Hardly. When I finally meet Demeter, I want to be able to say it to her.”

Kai didn’t say anything for a moment. “You pronounce it ‘saya-ga-
po
.’”

I appreciated his tact and the phonetic breakdown. I practiced it a few times.

We continued hiking. “We’re headed uphill,” I noted. “Still.”

“Yeah. Since the most likely place for Jack’s home is at the top, looking down on everyone.” He cracked a wry grin. “Psychoanalyze that.”

“Too easy.”

We passed under a large tree with green leaves shaped like mittens. “Here we go round the Mulberry bush,” I sang. Nowadays, I could totally clean up on Double Jeopardy, full-on bet it all, if only the category was “trees.”

Kai covered his ears at my singing.

I poked him in the ribs. Not that I was going to do any damage, because the boy was solid. “It’s a nursery rhyme

Ouch!”

A mischievous grey monkey had showered me with mulberries from high in a branch. Uncharmingly sticky. He chittered his laughter.

“Yeah, tough guy? Come down here and say that.”

Either the monkey understood English or just didn’t like me because with that taunt, Kai and I were under fire.

“Berry siege,” I yelped, laughing. “Abort!”

We ran left, the only safe direction open to us.

Kai skidded to a stop at the foot of a rope bridge, dangling high over a chasm.

Now would have been a perfect time for a solar eclipse to make everything a little less visible. Instead, there was more than enough light to see exactly how far below us the river snaked through dense green foliage.

That killed the whole spectacular factor for me.

“Pretty, yet vertigo-inducing. No thanks,” I told Kai.

He gestured back at the monkey, still screeching. “I’m not taking the chance the beast graduates to more odiferous missiles.”

Processing … processing … “Ew! You think he’d fling poo?”

“It’s been known to happen.” He tugged me toward the bridge, as I dug in my feet. “Close your eyes. I’ll lead you.”

I hesitated.

Kai swung me up and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

This put me in a pretty good position view-wise but was just undignified. “I’ll walk.”

He slid me to the ground. “Thought you might say that.” Hand-in-hand, the two of us started across the thirty feet or so of bridge, Kai in the lead.

With my eyes totally screwed shut, it wasn’t too bad. That is, until the bridge started to sway. I screamed and opened my eyes.

Kai jumped on the bridge, laughing. “It’s a suspension bridge. It’s designed to sway.”

“I hate you.”

“Only your brain. Your body likes me just fine.” He shot a deliberate glance to where I was now wrapped around him.

I lowered the leg that had been twined around his to the ground. “Quit it. You’re going to break it.”

“Okay, okay.” The bridge finally stilled. “See? All good.”

That’s when the end behind us snapped.

The bridge swung free, taking us with it. Kai managed to grab the rope railing before it fell away from us and I was still partially attached to him. Or rather, it had been partial. I was now fully suction-cupped, trying to crawl up his body.

“I told you!”

He muttered something about me and laws of physics. It sounded mean.

Kai wrapped one arm around me. I could see the veins in his other arm tensing from the effort of hanging on to the rope to keep us from falling to a painful death. “Sophie,” he asked, perfectly calm, “can you climb a rope?”

All I could do was squeak, shake my head and try to scramble up him a bit more.

He pinned me in place. “Look at the bridge floor.” He went to his “don’t mess with me” voice.

I thought about how if I wasn’t dead on the jungle ground in ten seconds, I’d find a way to make his head explode, then forced myself to look at the former floor that now dangled by our heads. “What about it?”

“Slats. You’re going to climb them like a ladder. I’ll be right behind you. There are only twelve of them. You can do it. Then you can use the post on the far end to pull yourself to safety.”

I wasn’t trying to be difficult. I just had a real issue with heights. Normally, having my Spidey skills made it bearable because I knew I couldn’t fall.

Or rather, land. It wasn’t the falling that was the problem.

“If you don’t move, then Bethany wins,” said Kai.

Horribly true, but I couldn’t will myself to move.

“You don’t move, humanity dies.”

Another compelling argument which left me paralyzed.

“You don’t move, we never have sex.”

“Oh no. That is
not
the argument that’s going to get me going.” I dug in tighter.

Grumbling, Kai channelled all his strength to pull himself and me up the rope railing using only one hand. Since he could only do this in jerking motions, it meant he let go of the rope for a millisecond with each progressive inch.

It was extremely cool and beyond terrifying.

“Stop! I’ll climb.”

With my legs still wrapped around his waist, I reached out and hooked my fingers over top of the slat closest to my head.

Kai used his free hand to push my butt up enough so I could reach the next one, at which point I was able to jam my feet in a lower slat and propel myself up.

Every time I hesitated or froze, Kai poked me in the ass from below.

I breathed a sigh of relief as my right hand touched terra firma above me. Which failed to matter entirely when the rope attaching the bridge to the post above us snapped.

There was a microsecond where we seemed to freeze before gravity kicked in and decided to make us one with the ground far, far below.

It was all very Wile. E. Coyote, but far less entertaining when happening in real life.

Four seconds. That was about the length of time it took between the start of our descent and hitting the ground below. Not that long if you count one Mississippi, two Mississippi. three Mississippi, four Mississi

At the point where I would have “p’d,” I quit falling.

Somehow, I’d blown through the power dead zone and, in my primal distress, released my little blooming miracles. I now swung safely about twenty feet off the ground, a vine from my right palm attaching me to the post at the top.

What a relief. I was safe except …

I swung a panicked gaze downwards, convinced I’d see Kai splatted on the ground below me. Instead, he hung off my leg.

“Pulled that out of your ass,” he said. “Nice.”

I wrapped a vine from my left palm around his wrist and hauled us both back up to the top, figuring it was better to be on higher ground.

Once we were there, I did a happy dance, shaking my butt and swinging my arms over my head in victory. “Who’s the goddess? Who’s the goddess?” I chanted.

Kai gazed farther up the slope, one hand shielding his eyes from the sun. “You broke the illusion. No more dead zone. And look. A prize.” He pointed at the airy teak house in the distance that definitely had not been there before.

“I! Rock!”

“That you do,” he agreed.

I was rushing on adrenaline and rightly deserved attitude, and without thinking, I kissed him.

Zero response.

I kept kissing.

Still nothing.

I kept at it.
Stop fighting this, you idiot
. Pathetically, for a one-sided kiss that bordered on sexual harassment, I was getting myself all hot and bothered. I moaned.

Kai’s arm snaked around me like a vice and oh, baby, did he kiss me back.

Seriously. I so rocked.

Fourteen

I was muddled, befuddled, dazed and confused. It was glorious.

Kai pulled back, his eyes glittering. The primal part of him to which I always responded flickered deep in his gaze.

The heat in my belly burst into flame.

“You’ve never kissed me first before,” he said, his voice low and gravelly, sounding puzzled.

“Really, really remiss of me,” I said as I lunged for him.

I, the queen of being in her head, was mindless, thoughtless, and speechless. I was overwhelmed with Kai in the best possible way.

His kisses got slower and deeper, his hands skimming over the bare skin of my shoulders and arms. Wicked shivers ran across my body.

Maybe it was the arrow. Maybe it wasn’t. It’s not like Kai and I hadn’t been circling each other, stealing touches and kisses since we’d first met.

He bit me on the hollow of my neck, which had me gasp and wobble with sensation.

“Different body, same spot that works very well,” he murmured.

“Feel free to remind me of everything she liked,” I panted, pulling his lips back to mine.

Everything was getting hotter and out of control. I tugged at his shirt. Desperate to feel his skin, I pulled it off him then whipped my tank top over my head.

Kai’s eyes darkened. Watching him take me in

it was like pouring gas on a fire. Made me want to go faster, spin out of control.

I yanked him against me in one fluid motion, curling my fingers into his belt loop and arching my hips against him.

Kai gave a low growl. He grasped the back of my head, his fingers twined into my hair, leaning into me with the urgency of his hard kiss.

A dangerous kiss.

My mind blanked, dizzy with aching need as I sunk into the feel of him. The taste of him. I pressed into him even harder.

Kai growled and pulled back. He was breathing as heavily as me, so it wasn’t because he wasn’t enjoying it.

All I could do was shoot him an inquiring look, the sound of my thudding heart trumpeting in my ears.

“Hear that?” he asked. It was the distant, filtered sound of Festos singing loudly, but coming our way.

I sighed.

Kai blinked slowly, almost painfully it seemed. “Close your eyes.” His voice was barely more than a whisper but I felt it rumble deep inside me.

Flushed, tense, and prickly with nerves and excitement, I closed my eyes.

My bra strap had fallen off on one side. I felt him loop his index finger under it. He pressed his lips to the top of my shoulder, red from where the strap dug in. He sucked on the spot, his lips teasing my skin.

A nerve jumped and pulsed under his touch.

I felt the rasp of his fingers as he pulled the strap up into its proper place.

Kai lifted my right arm, trailing feather-light kisses along the inside of it, up to my wrist.

I squirmed ticklish, and drowning in sensation.

Next, the other arm. Another line of kisses. His breath blew warm against my skin, and with my eyes closed, his spicy scent enveloped me. He paused to lick across the crook of my elbow, his teeth nipping the skin.

My knees wobbled.

Our bodies lost contact. I felt chilled despite the pleasant temperature. Eyes still closed, I swayed toward him. Felt his chuckle more than heard it.

I tried to drape my arms around his neck but he gently yet firmly raised them back up. I felt the slither of cloth as Kai placed my tank top back over my head.

Fingers splayed, he caressed me with teasing touches as he ever-so-slowly pulled it down into place. He lowered my arms, trapping my wrists snug between our chests. “Beautiful girl.”

I blinked my eyes open to find Kai staring at me with half-lidded eyes.

There was no smugness. No typical Kai arrogance. Nothing except the two of us existing in a perfect moment.

Kai lowered his head, resting his forehead against mine. We stayed there for an eternity.

I could feel his heart racing as I let myself be held. That had to mean something good, right?

That maybe I wasn’t going to be a consolation prize as I’d thought.

I was dizzy at the wonder and terror of the possibility.

When I heard Theo swear as he discovered us, I knew this amazing bubble in time was going to burst.

Kai turned on him with such a ferocious expression that Theo actually took a step back.

“We’ll just give you kids a minute,” I heard Festos say.

“Kai,” I sighed in disappointment. My body was on fire. I wanted more. More than the physical, I craved whatever new level of intimacy we’d both just gone to. And I wanted it without the arrow.

But now was not the time or the place. Not with so much at stake. And my friends nearby.

Kai pressed his lips against mine. The softest of feather kisses before he stepped away.

“Soph?” I startled at Hannah’s tentative calling, but I still tracked Kai, my lips twitching at his grumpy face. I turned away to Hannah, and did a double take as my best friend came toward me.

She had rolled up her pants as high as they would go and smeared her legs with mud. Since her shirt had short sleeves, the mud was spread over her arms and face as well. Hannah raked a critical glance over my tousled hair and flushed cheeks. “Are you okay?” she murmured.

I nodded, still too mindwhacked to speak. And uncertain about how Kai planned on playing things between us now. Instead of obsessing, I poked a clump of dried mud on her cheek.

She swatted me away. “Leave it. You know I burn … Oh, hello!”

A humongous tiger had padded silently to her side.

Rory was back. I glared at him. “Leave my friend out of this.”

The tiger cocked his head at me and I swear he looked amused as he lazily lay down beside Hannah, watching me steadily. The beast was so massive that even lying down, his head came up to Hannah’s hip.

“Isn’t this the greatest place ever?” she enthused, practically vibrating with glee at this turn of events.

“What’s the deal with the igar-tay?” I asked.

“I dunno. She wants to be my friend.”

I peered at Rory. “She?” Female. Figured.

“Or your keeper,” Kai muttered, his shirt back on.

Theo stepped into the clearing, looking abashed. “Sorry.”

Rory swung her great head to check out the newcomer, but didn’t move from her spot at Hannah’s feet.

Festos narrowed his eyes at the tiger. Then at Theo. “And?” He had to poke Theo to get him to continue.

“I won’t intrude on your private moments anymore.” Said through gritted teeth.

“Apology accepted.” Kai sounded so composed.

Was it really that easy for him to switch off like that? Was it a guy thing? A god thing? A Kai thing?
Did he do that with Persephone
? the evil voice in my head wondered.

“Note the tiger loving me.” Hannah was lit up, enthralled.

Theo and Festos shared an uneasy glance. “Yeah, awesome,” Festos said. He didn’t sound convinced.

I pushed my insecurity aside. It made me happy to see Hannah in her element. “Who knows, maybe Jack will have a pet Komodo for you to examine.”

Hannah shook her head at me sadly. “Really? In Thailand? You’re thinking of a water monitor.”

I stood corrected.

Festos grinned at Kai and I saucily. “Now that you kids did that voodoo that you do so well and broke the power illusion, we can traipse on over to Hermes’. Because uncle Festos is parched and would love a cool drink. I am not a camel. I require frequent topping up.”

I motioned to the tiger. “Still need to lose Rory here.”

Hannah batted her eyelashes at me. “You named her? Does that mean we can keep her?” Her eyes widened. “Whoa, what are you doing?”

Kai waved her off as he snaked his way toward the tiger. “She’s good. Aren’t you, girl?”

The tiger ducked her head. Almost coy.

“Don’t fall for his charm, my feline sister.” I took a step toward them and Rory roared full-blast at me.

“She doesn’t like the competition,” Hannah explained.

“Yeah, thanks. I got that.”

Kai shot me his trademark arrogant grin, then knelt down beside the tiger.

Rory presented her head to be petted. He scratched her ears, glancing back at me with his smirk intact.

I rolled my eyes. It was good to remember how much I wanted to smack him sometimes. Kept everything in perspective.

The cat rolled over and showed her belly, rolling slightly from side to side. Kai rubbed it and she began purring so loudly we could feel the vibrations from where we stood. “She makes the same sounds as you,” he teased.

Theo stiffened

but at a look from Festos

kept silent.

I rolled my eyes. “In your dreams.”

“Often,” he replied.

“Standing right here being brain damaged with the TMI,” Hannah intervened.

Not that I would give Kai the satisfaction but, “You gotta admit, that’s pretty swoon-inducing,” I murmured to Hannah, watching Kai and Rory playfully tussling.

“I wonder if Pierce has any animal friends,” she whispered back, head cocked, fascinated.

I placed my hand on her shoulder. “We gotta stop. We’re about ten seconds away from a kink there’ll be no coming back from.” But I allowed myself another few moments of indulgence, watching Kai play with the deadly tiger. Seriously, how was any other guy supposed to compete?

Kai looked up at me and smiled slowly, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

There was no way he could be in my head. But just in case, I thought some choice phrases at him.

He laughed, likely at my scowl and not because of any psychic abilities on his part, then rose and gave Rory a final pat. He motioned for her to go away. To my amazement, the tiger scampered off into the trees. “Impressive, yes?”

“Somewhat,” I conceded.

Kai held out his hand to me. “Now that the beast is gone, we can head to Hermes’ place.”

Hannah, Theo, and Festos took off in the direction of Jack’s house.

I did too, grasping Kai’s hand as I passed.

He ran his fingers lightly over my belly. “It’s much more fun tussling with a goddess,” he murmured.

Eyes narrowed, I shot him a considering sideways glance. Kai had no problem with the physical part of us. Okay, neither did I. But I wanted to know that I wasn’t totally deluded about what I’d felt between us moments ago.

I’m mostly positive I would have had the guts to broach the subject had Hannah not rejoined us. “I swear, first chance I get, I will hold
you
hostage to my unfettered PDA and make your life a misery,” she promised me.

I threw her a cocky smile. “What? We were discussing strategy.”

“Nice try.” She took hold of my other hand and yanked me with her. Kai didn’t let go so we were essentially a train heading across the ridge of the mountain.

“Pow-pow-pow-plant powers at optimum again?” she asked me, ducking under a low tree branch. “Ooh, look! A rosary pea. Super poisonous,” she enthused.

I glanced at the the leafy fronds and bright red small berries on the plant. “It appears to be choking the life out of that poor teak tree.”

Hannah grinned at me. “I love all your botany knowledge. You’re such a nerd now. So, your powers?”

I laughed. “Yeah. Guess my sheer terror was enough to short circuit whatever illusion Jack had cast. But ‘plant powers’ is a terrible name. Whaddya think of my ‘blooming hells?’” I jumped over a fallen, half-rotted log.

“Because you rain foliage down on their asses?” Kai asked in a strangled voice.

“I’ll keep working on it,” I muttered. “Get any useful data from the boys?” I asked Hannah.

She frowned. “The more I learn, the more complicated the decision becomes.”

“You’ll get there, Sparky.”

When we reached Jack’s house, I fully expected there to be one last trap we’d have to navigate through.

Instead, the host himself greeted us. Jack was a a paunchy, middle-aged, bald guy with intelligent brown eyes. He wore a light green linen short-sleeved shirt with slightly darker linen pants. He eyed Kai and me, still hanging on to each other. “So, you’re Kyrillos’ latest piece of


“Watch it,” Kai growled.

“Work,” Jack finished up.

I put on my best no-nonsense voice. “We’re here to talk about


Jack took a step closer to me. “Whatever it is, how about we discuss it over dinner? You’re a little young for me, but I bet you’ve got a very fine looking mother. You could tell me all about her.”

I shuddered at how much Felicia would salivate to meet this guy. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Eh. Her loss. Okay kidlings, run along. Daddy’s got important business to attend to.” He pivoted and walked into his house.

I shot Kai an incredulous glance.

“I vote for fry him,” Festos said.

“We can’t just go in blasting,” I protested.

The guys looked between themselves in a “works for me” consensus.

It actually worked for me, too, but I didn’t believe it was the best way to handle Jack. “Much as I hate him and would love to pulverize his butt, he’s Hermes. God of Tricksters. He’s screwed with us enough today. We need to be smart about this.”

BOOK: My Date From Hell
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ads

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