Authors: Tellulah Darling
Tags: #goddess, #Young Adult, #Love, #YA romantic comedy, #teen fantasy romance, #comedy, #YA greek mythology
Festos pointed to one of the other doors. “Through there.”
Kai took my hand and led me into Festos’ bedroom. He shut the door.
The room was just as sleek and modern as the rest of the place. A large bed with bright, graphic bedding took up most of the space. A flat screen TV was mounted on the wall across from the bed, with a bamboo dresser below it. Bamboo side tables flanked the bed.
Kai sat me on the edge of the bed and leaned a hip against the dresser. “What did I tell you when you found me cuffed?”
Not what I expected him to say, but sure, I’d play along. “That Hades had poisoned himself as a test of your loyalty, and that you chose me.”
Kai gave a bitter smile. “Hades would halt the torture every once in a while to make me a proposition.” His hands were pressed together, white knuckled. His eyes had a far-away look. “All would be forgiven, he’d even bequeath me the Underworld, if I went back and killed you.”
“You said ‘no,’ right?” My stomach fluttered. I hoped I understood this correctly. “Turned him down. Chose me so I could help you defeat him. Team Sophie, yay?” My voice had gotten a smidge higher and more panicky.
I thought I understood the situation but there was always the chance the Kai was about to break out the evil laugh, tell me if he couldn’t have Persephone, he didn’t want me living and end me right then and there.
Kai shifted and brought his attention back to me with a fond smile. Like I was somewhat slow.
He sat down beside me and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Goddess, I didn’t choose you to help me defeat my father.”
He paused. I wanted to strangle him, I was so keyed up to hear what he was going to say next.
My smile might have trembled the tiniest bit.
Kai dropped his own smile and shoved his fingers through his hair, creating little spiky tufts. “Goddesses are easy. Sure, they’re vain and temperamental, but I know how to handle them. But you. You were this prickly, mouthy, human girl. And I couldn’t figure you out and I couldn’t get you to fall in line and you just kept getting under my skin.”
He gave me a look of anger mixed with yearning and despair. As if I was supposed to understand. But honestly? I was so lost.
“You don’t remember us. I do.” His brow furrowed. “At first, it was just confusing because I kept seeing glimpses of Persephone in this stranger. But then, it all started to get tangled up. I felt like I was betraying Persephone.”
My stomach clenched in anxiety. Yeah, Kai being honest was better than Kai playing head games, which is what I felt he’d done when we first met. But it wasn’t actually easier to hear.
I was going to have to reconcile myself to the magnificence that was Persephone or drive myself mad with insecurity and feelings of inadequacy.
“I get it.” I force myself to meet his gaze and not stare at the floor. “You loved her so much. Her loss devastated you.”
“Sophie,” Kai began.
I cut him off. “You’re not betraying her, you know,” I said insistently.
Kai looked at me, confused.
“Having to fall in love with me. It’s just battle strategy. It doesn’t lessen what you felt for her.”
Did it hurt to reassure him like this? Sure. I wasn’t a saint. My feelings for him, whatever they were, hadn’t disappeared.
Every word I spoke to Kai reassuring him about his love for Persephone cut my soul like a knife.
Maybe one day Kai and I could have a chance at something real, maybe we couldn’t. It didn’t change the fact that right now, he needed to hear this and know I believed it. That he should too.
Damn. Personal growth was hard.
Kai gave me a measured look. “You’re not listening, stubborn girl. Everything got tangled up because I started to have feelings for
you
.”
My brain locked onto the word “feelings” like a heat-seeking missile. I mustered up all my courage and asked, “Feelings?”
I felt the weight of his gaze for a long moment before he blinked and looked away. “You scared me. Because what I felt for Persephone was nothing compared to what I thought I might feel for you.”
Kai glanced down before hitting me with a look of such intensity it stole my breath away. “I didn’t want to be at someone’s mercy again,” he said. “Couldn’t deal with the idea of loving someone and losing them again. So I used the ritual as a convenient excuse.”
A faint blush tinged his cheeks and he watched me … nervously?
Ack! I think, in his roundabout way, he was telling me that he loved me.
But did I love him back?
If I defined love as heady, at first sight, unicorns, rainbows, and floating hearts, then no. I didn’t.
But as something deeper? Scarier? Flawed? Wanting Kai to be the one by my side as we fought, as we laughed, that I kissed? Who infuriated me and who, past the posturing and the defenses, made my blood turn to slow molasses? Whose entire maddening, caring, wonderful self made my heart beat faster?
I did.
I loved Kai.
My breath had seized, my palms were clammy, and my heart was racing. I wanted this, despite how scary it was. Didn’t mean I didn’t want to hear him spell out his feelings in his own words.
Preferably three of them.
“Go on,” I squeaked.
Kai brushed his knuckles along my cheek. “Goddesses aren’t half as challenging as humans. You drive me nuts and I still can’t stay away from you.”
He shifted to face me full-on, took my face in his hands, and gazed into my eyes, utterly serious. Utterly focused. “Saya-ga-
po
, Sophie. I love you.”
Kai loved me.
Me!
Amazing how three very short words could make me plummet. Hard. Lose all sense of the ground under my feet and which way was up.
Kai tapped me on the shoulder. “Anything you care to say to me?”
I grinned. “Nope. I’m good.”
Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say it. I just wanted a moment of pure smugness to have it be all about me.
It mattered that Kai had said it first, but not in the way I’d expected it to. Not because this was a competition, or I was being petty and wanted to win.
It was just that other than Hannah, no one had ever told me they loved me.
Hearing Kai say the words freely, not because he had to or in response to me
—
meant everything.
I couldn’t stop my massive grin. My heart did a joyous samba and my usually evil voice of insecurity was singing “He loves me!”
Squee infinity and yay me!
Reality intruded on my happy place. I still needed the memories back. Because amazing as it was that Kai loved me, losing Hannah when Hades and Zeus destroyed the ritual location and turned the world to crap would utterly destroy me.
Which meant I needed access to everything in Persephone’s brain.
Maybe I had to declare my love aloud for the kiss to work. But first I wanted to come clean about my insecurities regarding Persephone and my own past behavior towards Kai. A declaration of this importance needed some build up.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding worried.
I twisted my fingers nervously, trying to sort through how to begin. “I feel really disgusted by my behavior. Never once considering what this must have been like for you.” I risked a glance at Kai.
He watched me warily. Guess he’d been expecting me to lead with something else. “You
were
always willing to think the worst of me.”
I nodded. “I know. But it’s not like you bothered to clarify.”
Kai reached over and placed his hand on mine, stilling my nervous twisting. “It’s not like you asked.”
I exhaled heavily. “Right. I’m not very good at considering other people.”
Kai looked surprised. “What are you talking about? You do it with Hannah and Theo all the time. And your classmates.”
I gave a shaky laugh. “Yeah, well, they don’t scare me like you do. And with them, there’s no one to measure up against.”
Kai squeezed my hands. “You don’t need to measure yourself against her.”
“I do though. No,” I held up a hand to cut off his protests. “Hear me out. I’ve never been anyone extraordinary. Just hanging around waiting for the day my life would start. Then I discovered that I was actually a goddess with powers and a destiny. As much as being awoken helped me realize how great Sophie was, because
I’ve
been the one actively dealing with all this, and doing a pretty good job, I think …”
Kai nodded.
“Well, on a capability level, my confidence zoomed off the charts. But on an emotional level? Demeter arranged for stars to shine in the sky when she lost Persephone. You defied Hades for her when she was held captive. I didn’t really inspire anything.”
“I’m sorry I was a douche,” he said, nudging my leg with his knee. It was the first time I’d seen Kai look truly remorseful.
I patted his leg. “It’s okay. You had your reasons.” I shook my head sharply to clear it. “I’m not saying all this to fish for compliments or even whine. I just want to be honest. I felt so inadequate next to her in a lot of ways. And I’m working on it. Because I think I’m great.”
“I do, too,” he said quietly.
“But I’m laying myself bare here. From now on? No more games. From either of us. I’ll be honest with you and you be honest with me. No matter how hard it is, or what we’re feeling. Because this thing between us? It’s not just between us, no matter how much we wish it was. It’s Romeo and Juliet squared by infinity with the specter of the ex thrown in for good measure. And we can’t let all that bring us down.”
I laced my fingers into his, partially because I wanted to touch him and partially to give myself something to hold onto so my own hands wouldn’t shake. Snarkiness was easy. Vulnerability was terrifying.
But necessary.
I took a deep breath and just spilled it in a rush. “All this to say, I think I’m worth it and you’re worth it. And most of all,
we’re
worth it.”
Kai leaned forward, insistently. “Then say it. Don’t be scared. I love you.”
I opened my mouth, feeling more emotionally laid out than ever before.
But before I could utter a single word, my head exploded.
I shrieked at what felt like the world’s stickiest bandage ripping painfully off of my brain.
Billions of images cascaded through my mind.
I followed a pair of legs down a white and gold corridor, looking way up to see my father’s head
…
The fragments tumbled so fast, so furious. I cried out, doubling over from the pain.
I was surrounded by green light. Drowning in it. I reached a hand up to try and bat it away. Make the pain of my brain rupturing stop.
My mother with a picnic basket beckoning me forward
…
The memories flew faster and faster, too many to process and sort through, changing, getting darker …
Giant black spots swam in and out of my vision. My head throbbed and pulsed.
In Hades, opening a secret passageway into Tartarus, the cries of the damned chilling my soul
…
My breath turned shallow, too much, overloading …
I was clawing, at the air, at my head … jumbled images swirling around me in fragments …
Heavy, gelatinous darkness sucked me down. So easy to just sink.
Hands grasping at me. A familiar touch.
I had to get back to that person. Fighting and struggling through the darkness toward a brilliant point of light.
A chandelier, my final moment in the Underworld
…
Then back into light, again green, now soothing, and the sensation of floating to the surface.
I blinked back to awareness in Festos’ room, my hands clasping Kai’s in a death grip.
He pulled me toward him, practically crushing me in his hug as his body sagged in relief.
“The memories,” I said, my chest hollow with utter despondency from the magnitude of the experience.
Having just lived a life’s worth of emotions in a few seconds? It short circuited me.
I burst into tears.
Kai wrapped his arms around me, murmured that it was okay, we’d find another way to get them back.
I raised my tearstained eyes to his and shook my head. “You don’t understand,” I said. “I remember.”
Twenty-one
We returned to the living room to find Theo and Festos still crammed onto the loveseat. Hannah and Pierce leaned together over by the dance machine. Pierce looked dazed. Actually, Hannah did too. And her lips were tinted red.
Normally, I would have had to comment but I was still taking calming breaths to steady myself.
“Eros,” Festos said to Pierce, “look at your hidden talents. Who knew?”
“Back off,” Hannah and Theo said in unison.
Festos grinned at them. “Kidding.” He batted his eyes at Theo for good measure.
Theo studied my face as I took a seat on the long, red leather sofa. “What happened?”
Kai sat beside me. “She remembers.”
Hannah rejoined us, choosing a wide, modern chair. Pierce perched on the arm.
My friends’ expression hovered between concern and relief.
“We were talking,” I began.
“Is that another euphemism?” Festos asked.
Hannah turned on him. “Do you need an intervention, smut brain?”
Theo seemed delighted that someone else had snapped at Festos, who made a snarky face at Hannah and looked away.
“Seriously, Fee?” I exhaled hard. Getting the memories back really was a happy occasion. Just somewhat enormous.
Kai tucked me into the crook of his arm, glowering at anyone he thought might upset me. At the moment, that meant Festos.
“It was a heavy talk.” I scrunched up my face. “Now that I think about it, any time a memory has ever come back to me, it was when I felt emotional or stressed.”
Hannah pursed her lips, thinking it over. “It correlates. High emotion is stressful. And it could have been a trigger for overriding the memory spell, at least temporarily.”
“Not to mention, the memory spell wasn’t working at 100% efficiency anymore, thanks to Kyrillos’ original kiss. That facilitated its dissolution now,” Pierce pointed out.
Hannah nodded. “Exactly.” She shot him the tiniest grin of delight that he had followed her deductions.
I predicted their long and happy future together.
“If you had put yourself into a vulnerable state during this talk,” she glanced at me for confirmation and continued at my nod, “it seems your heightened stress levels were enough to cast off the spell once and for all.” She stretched her legs out, looking pleased.
“What
exactly
did you remember?” Festos asked, sounding as if maybe I’d broken my brain after all.
“All of it.” I drummed my fingers on my thighs, eager to get on with everything, now that I had Persephone’s knowledge at my disposal. “It’s coming to me in pieces, but somehow I know it’s all there.”
“Kind of like a pre-consciousness,” Hannah said.
I nodded, restless now. “Sure. Whatever that means.”
“When your thoughts seem like they’re unconscious or buried, but they’re not,” she explained. “They can be recalled. Become conscious to you again.”
“Yes. That. I’ll have to sort through it all but I have Persephone’s memories.”
“You did well.” Kai nuzzled the side of my neck. Not the happy spot side, which was probably good, given the circumstances.
I still squirmed and blushed.
“Oh, she’s going to be intolerable now,” Hannah said.
Pierce leaned over and whispered something in her ear.
Hannah turned beet red.
Theo rolled his eyes. “Moving on. Where are you and Kai supposed to do the ritual?”
“Wait!” Festos headed over to his laptop, his limp more pronounced since he hadn’t bothered to bring his cane, and hit a key. Greek music played. He motioned for me to continue.
“Eleusis,” I said automatically. I grinned. “The location! We have it.”
Theo and Festos immediately started conspiring about how they were going to ward it up and the amount of blood they’d need to draw from Kai and me.
I glanced at Kai but he gave me a reassuring smile.
“So where’s Eleusis?” I asked.
Festos limped into the kitchen. He began rummaging through the drawers.
Five pairs of incredulous eyes shot my way.
“Fine. Guessing it’s in Greece.”
“Geez, Soph,” Hannah groused, “sometimes I think the only reason you wanted those memories back was so that you wouldn’t have to do any research.”
“Hi-larious.”
She certainly thought so. As did those other unsupportive jerks.
Festos returned with a large, overflowing first aid kit. He set it on the coffee table and dropped heavily into the free space beside me, rubbing his leg.
I glanced at him with concern, but he waved me off.
“You and I are going to have a very long talk, and lay out exactly what we know and what we still need to learn,” Theo told me.
“Ward it first, please,” I said, holding out my arm for Festos to swab. I hoped he didn’t need to take too much blood from me to create the wards. “Let’s get a jump on the dads, otherwise …” I shuddered.
“You might as well set humans out on the curb and call them trash,” Festos said, cheerfully. He waved a hand at me. “On it, honeybunch.” Like the most professional of nurses, he pulled out a plastic package with a needle inside it.
Theo put a hand to Festos’ arm to stop him. “It’s nice you want to help, but I still haven’t agreed to the date.”
Festos looked shocked. He pulled into himself, eyes dipping down. His hand faltered. “I thought … I mean …”
Hannah and I shot each other “WTF” looks because Theo was never an ass like this.
Festos furrowed his brow. He straightened up, his jaw tense. “Do what you want, Prometheus. I’m helping Sophie regardless.”
“Ask me again. On the date.”
Festos blinked at the insistence in Theo’s voice.
I bit the insides of my cheeks to keep from grinning like a maniac because I could see where this was going.
Festos regarded Theo steadily for a moment. Theo waited, but said nothing.
Festos set down the plastic package. “Thesi, will you go out on a second date with me in exchange for my help?”
“No,” Theo said.
I choked back the whoop of delight I had been about to give.
Kai smothered a laugh.
Hannah kicked Theo. Hard.
Pierce conjured an arrow. I could tell by the scowl on his face, that if he had to use it, he’d make sure it hurt.
Theo ignored everyone. He leaned in toward Festos and gripped his wrists. “I’m not going to go on a date with you to get your help. I’m going to go on a date with you because I want to. Really, really want to.”
With that, Theo gently tugged Festos toward him and gave him a very sweet kiss.
Hannah and I jumped up, cheering and dancing.
Pierce nodded in approval. “Good men.” The arrow disappeared.
Festos broke the kiss. He fanned himself with his fedora a few times. “Where was
that
on our first date?”
Theo got an absurdly prim look on his face. “I don’t just give it up for anyone,” he said. “You have to earn it.” His expression softened. “And you did.”
“You all make us work for it,” Kai muttered. “You’re a very high maintenance bunch.”
I took my seat beside him, “accidentally” half-crushing him as I did.
Kai pulled me fully onto his lap. “Sit still. Festos has to stab you now.”
Festos ripped open the package and removed a needle attached to a thin, rubber hose. The hose, in turn, was attached to a small rubber stopper.
Theo rooted around in the first aid kit, eventually freeing a glass vial, which he stopped up with the cork. “Did you remember who murdered Persephone?” he asked way too casually. “Was it Kai?”
“No, it was not,” Kai growled.
“Thesi, doll,” Festos said, motioning to the kit with his head, “get me the tourniquet.”
I watched Theo. “I don’t know who killed me. I never saw their face. But it wasn’t Kai.”
I knew now how he’d made Persephone feel. Felt his love for her firsthand. Kai would never have broken up with her, and certainly never hurt her.
And I was perfectly fine admitting it because I could feel how much he loved me. Right here. Right now.
“We can’t rule him out,” Theo said. He held the rubber band up to Festos. “Forearm?”
Festos nodded and Theo tied it tight around me. He peered at my arm, then briskly slapped a spot above the tourniquet.
“Yes,” I said, firmly, “we can.”
I felt Kai heave a sigh of relief. Wow. Didn’t realize that had mattered so much to him.
“Try the little vein on the left there,” Hannah said, who had joined in the examination.
A few more slaps and Theo poked the slightly raised vein. “Think we’re good.”
“Count of three,” Festos told me. “One …”
I winced as he stabbed me with the needle.
“All good?” Kai asked, watching with concern.
I flashed him a reassuring smile. “Yeah.”
Once Festos had filled the vial with blood, he removed the needle. “Press that cotton ball to your arm,” he instructed, again motioning to the kit.
He got up to dispose of the needle.
Theo cleared his throat pointedly and held out the cane.
They locked eyes, but Theo didn’t let Festos argue. “Don’t be an ass. You know it’s harder when you don’t use it.” Festos accepted the cane with a nod of thanks and went back to the kitchen.
Hannah and I exchanged glances as Theo prepped the vial. “I don’t want to hear a word,” he muttered, not bothering to glance up at us.
We just grinned.
I shifted off Kai, since it was his turn to have blood drawn.
Festos returned and began the process again with Kai. Just before he stabbed Kai he said, “No blasting the nice god here. You agreed to this.”
Kai waved at him impatiently. “Get on with it.”
“Hmm,” Hannah said, watching Kai’s blood fill the vial, “your blood oxygenates red.”
Kai looked amused. “What color did you think it would be? Alien green?”
“I wouldn’t have dared hypothesize,” she said sweetly. She cut her eyes at Pierce. “I don’t suppose,” she began.
“No, love. You’re not experimenting on me.” He kissed the tip of her nose fondly.
“We’ll work on that,” she muttered.
Festos removed the cotton ball from Kai’s arm and pronounced him good to go.
“You boys have everything you need to start the wards?” I asked.
Festos nodded.
I glanced over at Theo’s watch. “I gotta bolt. My meeting is in about ten minutes.” I stood up.
Festos did, too. “I’ll see you soon,” he said gruffly.
I pulled him into a huge hug.
When we moved apart, Pierce gallantly kissed my hand. “Glad you came to your senses, love,” he said with a wink.
I was going to miss them. But I had a feeling they’d show up at Hope Park soon. Like possibly tomorrow. “Let’s go, gang.”
“Yeah, I’m gonna hang with Pierce,” Hannah said, far too casually, leaning back against Pierce’s arm. “I’ll catch up with you after the meeting.”
I planted my hands on my hips. “Really? Well, you better return in the same condition I left you,” I said. I glanced at Theo, but he didn’t even bother to tell me he wasn’t coming. Just looked at Festos with fond tolerance as Festos grabbed his hand and swung it merrily.
I cocked my head. “You’re gonna feel horrible if I get kicked out and you two don’t get to say goodbye.”
“There’s email,” Hannah said. “And you won’t get kicked out because I don’t want another roommate. Now go. I’ll see you later.”
“I just won’t feel bad, period,” Theo joked.
“Heart you,” Festos said to me, still swinging Theo’s hand.
I grinned. “Heart you too, Fee.”
Festos whacked Theo. “Tell her.” Theo hesitated and Festos poked him. “Tell. Her.”
“I’m proud of you, Soph.”
“Really?” I lit up with a warm, happy smile.
Festos poked him again. Theo elbowed back. “Prometheus,” Festos hissed.
Theo rolled his eyes. “And I love you.”
“Copycat,” Kai joked.
I clutched my heart and staggered back in disbelief.
“See?” Festos beamed. “Progress.”
Theo nudged him with his knee. “I didn’t say it to you.”
Festos waved him off. “You will.” Said with utter conviction.
I had a feeling that confession would happen sooner rather than later. Look at us, all getting our happy swoony moments.
I knew that in the history of teen lit and CW episodes everywhere, this just meant that monsters were about to crash the party, but I was determined to enjoy the moment while I could.
Bethany stopped? Check. Memories back? Check. Location acquired? Check. Warding underway? Check.
I could handle one little meeting.
And on that thought, I still had something very important to tell Kai once we were alone. I turned to him. “You’re coming with me, right?”
He gave me that hot grin that made me shiver in delight. “Are you kidding? We’ve got nine minutes. You know what we can do in that time?”
Three cheers for scorching looks and letting him ravish me. Or me ravishing him. Because ravishing of boyfriends they loved? Totally in the job description of strong, modern chicks.
“Go, you fools,” Festos commanded. “We’ll get the ward started.”
I blew him a kiss and took Kai’s hand. “Home, Jeeves.”
And when we landed in my room, safe and sound?
I’d never been so glad.