My first, My last (2 page)

I’m so proud you’re going to university,
I remembered
reading in one of his letters. We’d continued our friendship through writing,
until I met my future husband and made the decision to stop our correspondence.
If I wanted to give that relationship a chance, I knew I had to stop writing to
Jake. It couldn’t be any other way for me. My heart needed to heal and fall in
love with someone else. I was certain if this new relationship didn’t work out,
I’d go back to Jake. This was the last chance I’d give my heart to fall in love
with someone else, and it did. I didn’t write to Jake again until after I was
married.

“No. I shouldn’t have let you go.” He shook his head. “I was
too stupid and young and afraid to tell you how I felt, and then you met
Tyler.”

I lowered her head at the memory of my deceased husband.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” His hand came
closer to mine, but we didn’t touch.

“It’s all right. Jake, before you go any further with this, I
need to tell you I’m involved with someone.” I knew Jake had always appreciated
my honesty. But would I push him away again? Would he let my new relationship
grow, the way he had last time?

“Do you love him?” He put his hand on top of my palm over
the wicker chair; the skin coarser than I recalled, but just as tender and
warm. The heat flowed through my arm up to my bosom, and I remembered my
hardened nipples.

Jake’s eyes sparkled, and I admired the dimple in his chin I
fell in love with. I knew he had noticed my perked top. What man wouldn’t? I
wiggled my fingers in his palm, wanting the feel the movement of his skin
against mine.

“No,” I whispered, enjoying his touch more than I could
admit out loud because I heard my voice tremble. “Jake, it’s been over twenty
years. Why are you asking me questions like that?”

He suddenly moved his chair around, turning to face me. The
edges of the front of the seat touched. Jake’s legs brushed against my knees as
he spread them around my chair.

“I don’t make the same mistake twice,” he whispered, tucking
my hair behind my ears on each side. “You’re even more beautiful than the last
time I saw you.”

I concentrated on my breathing, because if I didn’t, I’d
forget to inhale. Having Jake close to me felt like we’d never been apart. The
twenty years seemed like minutes, and what had passed during that time didn’t
matter, at least not now. Before we parted as teens, he’s said we’d find our
way to each other if we were meant to be. Was this the moment he spoke of?

But Jake had a reputation I didn’t approve of. When I
thought about all the women who had drooled over him, who had lost their
virginity to him, pleased him over the years, jealousy flooded through my
veins. I had wanted to do that, and I wanted to be the only one. No, I didn’t
really know him. I knew a boy, not this man who hypnotized me with lust the
minute I opened the door.

I couldn’t help but admire Jake’s broader shoulders, defined
chest, and the bulk at the front of his pants, which I was sure hadn’t started
to grow yet. My current relationship was fresh and not going too well.
Christopher was too self-obsessed. Honestly, I could wiggle out of it if I really
wanted to. One phone call, that’s all it would take. But was I another one of
Jake’s conquests? Another name to cross off his list, like I’d heard? He’d even
confessed to me about being a maniac in bed, jumping from one woman to another,
unable to find that perfect partner. And I wanted him to jump me and only me.
Was I really ready for him?

Jake brought his face closer to mine. The moonlight touched
his cheeks, and I recalled our night at the orchard. The night I told him I
wanted him to take my virginity. And he did. He had taken me again and again
and it was the one decision I’d never regretted. I’d lost it to my true love,
and now I wanted to be with him more than ever. But was this too fast and
frivolous? I didn’t seek out casual sexual encounters, though having him here
made one seem more plausible than before.

Jake’s hands glided from mine to my bare arms, gently
squeezing on their way up. He cupped my face and brushed his thumb across my
lips while leaning in closer. The rational part of my mind clicked shut. I’d
wanted to be with him again more than ever. And here he was. The moment I dreamed
about was happening and I wouldn’t stop it. I couldn’t stop it.

My breath stopped and my heart thumped at an unbearable speed.
Jake touched his lips to mine. They were as responsive as when we were in our
teens. I remembered all his kisses and had even counted them until I reached a
thousand. After then, I stopped counting because each one always felt like our
first kiss. And so did this one.

But now I was a woman, and I’d learned a
few things myself during the past twenty years.

My mouth hardened and I slipped my tongue deeper inside his
mouth. He responded. Jake held my head, sliding his tongue inside me to match
my longing, and I accepted him more deeply and fully. My insides warmed and my
crotch heated. Jake’s lips coasted to my cheeks, eyes, and nose, and finally found
a spot in the middle of my forehead. Leaning in closer, he embraced me. Another
squeeze and I’d be crushed. My fingers clenched his sweater, holding on for my
life. I wouldn’t let him go. Not again.

“Is this even possible?” he whispered.

“I hope so. Otherwise this is one dream I don’t want to wake
up from.”

My hands took hold of the hem of Jake’s sweater and I pulled
it over his head. The past twenty years had served him well. Jake was more
muscular than I remembered. His body had transformed to a man’s, and that’s
exactly who I needed: an experienced man. I kissed his chest, taking my time. A
quiet yelp escaped Jake’s throat. He held me by the shoulders and trembled
after each peck I planted as if I’d released an electric shock from my lips.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me, Rose.” His warm
breath whisked along the top of my head.

“I think I do.” I smiled, looking up. His eyes were closed.
My legs unwound and I wrapped them around him. He picked me up by my bottom and
carried me to the lounge, lying on top of me. I held my thighs in place, ankles
criss-crossed at his back. He lowered my feet to his side, then pulled my tank
top over my head, freeing my breasts.

The same nerves from twenty years ago found their way back
to my body, as if it were our first time, again.

He admired my top, holding his hands at my waistline, just
below my ribs. I knew he wouldn’t resist me or keep me waiting for too long.
The passion and need in his eyes grew each second. The irises dilated,
swallowing his blue gems.

“As pink as they were when I met you.” He lowered his face
and kissed the right nipple, pursing his lips around then running his tongue
along its edges. Jake took it gently between his teeth and pulled upward before
releasing it to spring back. His warm breath glided along my chest to the other
one, while he rubbed the tender spot he’d just left with his fingers.

I bit my lip. Jake was the only man in my life who knew how
to use my nipples to drive me crazy. The tingle flowed down my chest toward my
lower half as soon as he squeezed his lips around me, and I arched upward,
feeling the need in his pants.

He swirled his tongue, teasing. I closed my eyes. The
combination of brisk wind and his saliva on me built the pressure inside me even
more quickly. His lips trailed along my skin toward my neck up to my earlobe,
then kissed along my jaw line back to my lips.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked against my mouth,
supporting his weight on his elbows.

“It’s not like it’s my first time,” I smirked.

“I know it’s not, but perhaps this is too fast,” he teased,
lowering his mouth to almost touch mine.

“Don’t you dare stop now.” My eyes flew open and I shook my
head feverishly before feeling his smile against my lips. Even if I only had
him once, today, I wanted to take that chance. The thought of Jake leaving now
tightened my chest and the urge to persuade him to stay longer grew. I needed
him now as much as the first time we’d made love. Except inside, I knew tonight
would be different. His experience was evident in the way he explored my body
and teased me to the point of eruption. I wanted Jake to take me as a man, the
way I had always imagined.

Jake’s mouth remained on mine, and his hands slid along my
body down to my sweats. I twined my fingers into his hair, pulling a little.
His mouth forced my lips wider each time my fingers danced against his scalp.
He hooked his thumbs behind the band of my pants and pulled them off my hips,
down to my ankles, pushing them past my feet with his own. The sound of fabric
falling on the patio stones made me take another quick breath. With a gentle
lift, he turned us on our sides, facing each other.

Jake manoeuvred to take his pants off in one swift motion. My
left hand slid down his back to pull off his boxers, but he took my palm and
interlaced his fingers with mine. The touch revived my memories of when we’d
held hands so long ago. Fingers woven together, always. How could this feel so
right? After all, I hadn’t seen him in twenty years. Would I lose him if I gave
in too quickly? I washed the thought away as his mouth began to control me
again.

I pushed my bottom forward and felt his ready bulk. My glutes
squeezed and my hips began to move back and forth, grinding against his growth.
Each time, the pressure built and I knew neither of us would last long. I
lowered our connected hands to my panties to let him know to take them off, but
he didn’t, smirking through his kisses.

He wants to play. I like play.

The woman inside me recognized why and let him do as he
pleased. That was the advantage of experience. For the first time since acquiring
a taste for lingerie in my early twenties, I was glad my obsession with silk
and lace had remained. Jake examined the sheer fabric that discreetly covered
my front, circling his thumb in its center. I let go of his palm, skimming my
hand over his arm upward, over his biceps to his neck. His right hand remained
on my hip, playing with the fabric around the inseam. He wedged his finger
inside the panties, letting it slide along the line toward my inner thigh. I
opened my legs ever so slightly to allow for easier access.

I heard my own yelp when he pulled the panties away from
between my legs. The sound must had pleased him because he made space for another
finger. He played with my wetness, teasing with his fingers, almost inserting
one, but he didn’t.

He pulled his swollen lips off mine, “You’re so ready,
Rose.”

Jake lowered his mouth back to my nipples.

I felt I could lose myself in him. I needed him as much the
first time we’d made love, and I liked that he hadn’t taken off my panties yet.
But I knew they wouldn’t remain on for long. Jake continued to transfer my
wetness from the rims of my inside along my lips toward the top. When his thumb
touched my clit, I inhaled and squeezed my eyes. I could feel myself getting
closer to the edge. “Are you as pink down there as well?”

My jaw tightened, and I couldn’t reply. Jake must have known
no one else had been able to bring me to this point as fast as he had. I didn’t
want to come so quickly, not yet. As I strained to keep the urge to jerk
forward against his hand, the volume of blood in my tender flesh under his palm
increased.

Jake teased my nipples with his lips again, pulling gently
with his teeth and letting go, all the while massaging my sex. The pressure
built, and I wasn’t sure how long I could take the playing. I wanted him inside
me. I wanted him to fill me and I wanted it now. Finally, one of Jake’s fingers
slid in, rubbing on the internal wall, while his thumb remained on my clit. He
took his mouth lower toward my navel, circled his tongue around my belly ring,
then made his way even lower. When his lips touched my freshly waxed front, I
wanted to scream.

He licked from the top toward the bottom and back up. “You
taste perfect. Your pink lips are delicious,” he murmured against my skin.

But I could hardly hear him. The wetness of his mouth on me
increased my secretion; I was sure of that as his two fingers glided in and out
with ease.

Jake’s tongue made slow circles at first while he kissed and
pulled with his mouth, letting go so the light breeze could cool me down before
he resumed. His fingers never left my inside, and I wasn’t sure how long I could
bear the swelling between my legs. I was ready, but wanted him on me for much
longer. Now I wished I’d listened to my inner needs earlier in the day and
masturbated to release the tension. Perhaps I could have enjoyed his pleasuring
for longer than five minutes.

I pushed my pelvis toward his mouth, and Jake recognized my
need to climax. He began to move his tongue faster and faster, concentrating on
the swollen tip until I convulsed. He didn’t take his mouth away and kept
kissing and pulling, running his tongue around my clit as my body trembled with
ecstasy. The quiver of pleasure spread from between my legs up to my breasts,
encapsulating my body. I no longer pressed toward him, but he kept kissing and
nurturing my tenderness for as long as I’d let him. When my hands felt limp, he
pulled my panties all the way off and lifted me up to sit. My legs wrapped
around him, but he lowered them and knelt in front of me, pulling down his
boxers, springing free.

I took a quick inhale, pleased with Jake’s masculinity. The
years of sexual experience had certainly made this man’s muscle stronger than
it had been twenty years ago, and now I couldn’t wait to feel that muscle
inside me. A new wave of energy spread through me.

“I want you,” I whispered.

Jake knelt on the back of his heels, back to my height, and
covered my mouth with his. I tasted my saltiness in his mouth.

Already nourished, I wanted nothing more than to show him
the same pleasure he had bestowed upon me. I wrapped my arms around his neck,
centering myself up and over his manhood.