My Hope Is Found: The Cadence of Grace, Book 3 (38 page)

“That was good of you. Thank you for looking after her. Thank you for finding her.”

Gideon lowered his head in a single nod.

“Would you like some coffee?” Toby stared out the window as he spoke.

“Thank you, no. Can I get you some? Anything?”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

They sat without speaking. Hands clasped together, Gideon leaned forward and worked slow circles with his thumbs.

Finally, Toby spoke. “Take care of her?”

“I will.” Gideon looked up at him. “I will.”

“And Jacob. Addie.” His eyes flooded with moisture.

Throat tight, Gideon coughed into his fist. “I will.” The words were hard to form, but the promise ran deep. Mighty deep.

Toby nodded slowly, his gaze out the window. A coming sunset warmed the trees on the horizon.

“You’re a good man, Gideon.”

Gideon knew how dearly the words cost him. He didn’t deserve this kindness. Not after all Toby was losing. Not after all Gideon had done to him. “I’m sorry.” It was all he could say.

“Me too.” Toby pressed a hand to his side and shifted in his seat. A single wince and he masked over the rest. “But that doesn’t mean this isna the right thing.”

Shifting his feet, Gideon looked at the reverend. “And where will you go?”

Toby spoke without looking at him. “There’s a church up in Roanoke that could use my help. I’ll head there t’morrow.”

“A fresh start?”

“A fresh start.” Toby mumbled something about the authorities following a lead … and not wanting to stick around for it. He shifted again. Face twisting for the briefest of moments, he let out a quick sigh. His neck was glistening when he settled. “It’s for the best. I’m ready to begin again.” Toby’s eyes roamed the small room, finally landing on Gideon. “I won’t lie. This is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

His throat tight, Gideon could only nod. He wanted to say he was sorry again, but the words were so inadequate. If he hadn’t come home, Lonnie would no doubt have been Toby’s bride by now. A flood of emotions hit him. Glancing through the window, he saw an older woman coming toward the shanty, a basket on her arm.

“Looks like Mrs. Krause is here.”

“She’s come to help me pack the last of my things. I’ll head off in the morning, doctor’s orders. He arranged for his son-in-law to drive me.”

Gideon stood. “I won’t stay in your way.” He looked down on Toby. “Roanoke. That’s quite a change.”

“There’s a hospital there that might come in handy.” He stared into the fire. “Maybe convalescing won’t be so bad after all.”

Gideon couldn’t help but smile. “Watch out for those nurses. There’s one in particular who can be a handful.”

Looking back at him, Toby’s eyes brightened at the challenge. “I’ll be on the lookout.”

Mrs. Krause called out.

Gideon slid his hat on and stepped toward the door. “I better be off.” Then just as quickly, he moved back to where Toby stood and extended a hand. “Thank you. For more than I can say.” They shook hands, their grip nothing like the first time they’d met.

“So you’re not going to try and break my hand this time,” Toby said.

“Trying to change my ways.”

Toby smiled thoughtfully. Mrs. Krause knocked before entering. The sun was sinking. The light dimmed. A quick greeting to the neighbor woman, and Gideon stepped back. Expanding his chest, Toby lifted a hand in farewell.

Gideon backed away and, turning, strode from the shanty. From the clearing.

From one of the few real friends he’d ever had.

Toward the only home he ever wanted. He tried to focus on the path ahead of him. And prayed he’d always remember the path that had led him here.

“This one is red.” Lonnie pointed to the checker on the far side of the board, and Jacob touched it with his small finger. “And this one,” she said, pointing to another, “is black. No, don’t put it in your mouth.” She took the piece from him and set it back down. “You don’t have to taste
everything
.”

The back door closed, and wood clanged into the box in the kitchen. Elsie poked her head into the parlor. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Lonnie rose to her knees, dumping a clattering pile of checkers from her skirt. “Have you seen Gideon? He never came in last night.”

Elsie moved to the window and tied the curtains back. “He left early this morning.” She swiped at a cobweb.

Lonnie’s heart lurched. “Left?”

Amusement warmed the older woman’s round face. “Sap’s done running. He went to gather the buckets. He said he’d be home in time for dinner.”

Her feet as restless as her heart, Lonnie glanced out the window. She felt Elsie watching her.

“Did you need him for something?”

“Very much so.”

Elsie’s face brightened. “He’s in the maple grove.”

Lonnie’s heart skittered. She glanced back at the children, knowing the mess they’d made in the parlor would take a while to tidy. And dinner ought to be started soon.

“Go.” Elsie waved at her. “I will watch them.”

Dropping to her knees, Lonnie picked up a handful of wooden pieces, stacking them as quickly as she could. “Are you sure?”

The older woman laughed and pointed toward the kitchen. “Go!”

“Thank you!” Lonnie tossed the checkers on the sofa and planted a kiss on Elsie’s round cheek as she scurried by. She snatched her coat from its peg even as she flung the door open. “I’ll be back,” she called over her shoulder.

Elsie’s delight rang clear in her laughter. Lonnie slammed the door behind her and thundered down the steps, running toward the woods. To the spot where the maples grew. Her heart near to bursting.

Gideon stepped closer to the maple tree and set the iron pry bar in place. The notched end of the curved metal rod fit right on top of the spile, and with a flex of his arms, he popped the spile free. It fell to the ground, and Gideon tossed it in a bucket with a dozen others and moved to the next. A few dozen more to go.

“I don’t want to startle you,” a sweet voice said.

The corner of his mouth lifted, and he turned to see Lonnie step closer. He let his gaze wander the length of her. “Couldn’t startle a blind man.”

“Are you saying I walk … loud?”

She drew closer, and Gideon peered down into a pair of chestnut-colored eyes. “I’m saying I could hear you from a mile away.”

Her mouth twisted to the side, and he knew she was trying to fight a smile. How he wished she wouldn’t. He loved nothing more than to make her smile.

“I’ve been looking for you.”

His heart was so full he could hardly get the words out. “And you found me.”

She stood mighty close. “Do you need any help?”

He glanced around at his tools, suddenly a jumble of nerves. “If you’d like.” He handed her a bucket of spiles. “You can follow me.”

Stepping up to another tree, he carefully loosened the spile. “You’re wearing my coat again.” He moistened his lips, hoping he sounded smoother than he felt. “You do that a lot.”

With the bucket in front of her feet, Lonnie slid her fingers inside the worn pockets. “I’m sort of attached to this one.”

“It suits you.” His heart raced. Their fingers touched when he handed her the spile. His nerves colliding into one another, all he could do was move on to the next tree. He heard her follow. Swallowing hard, he searched for what he yearned to say.

Bucket in hand, she watched as he freed another metal spout. It took all his strength to keep from looking directly at her. With her fingertips, she smoothed a strand of hair away from her cheek. His coat stretched taut as he bent to lean the pry bar against the tree. “Lonnie …” His voice was so weak, he winced.
Come on, man
.

Rising inside him was all that had passed between them—the moment she became his wife. And made him a papa. Gave him her heart. Just as he was realizing how his own had been slipping away piece by piece, growing more whole on the other side.

The tip of her braid brushed the ground beside his boot when she bent to lift the bucket of metal spouts. Crouching, Gideon caught hold of the bucket handle, pinning it to the ground. Lonnie straightened. He slammed his eyes shut, doing everything he could to muster his courage. Finally, he stood. He opened his eyes and found himself looking down on her bowed head. He touched her chin, lifting her face.

“Why didn’t you tell me what happened yesterday?” he asked.

“I didn’t have a chance,” she said softly. “You were gone.”

He pulled his hand back. “And now?” His heart galloped.

“Now?”

“What would you tell me now?” He watched her worry a thread between her fingers. As if of their own accord, his hands slid to the sides of her face. “Lonnie, what would you tell me now?”

“I’d say you’re an incredibly patient man, Gideon O’Riley.”

He let out a low chuckle. “I’ve been called many things in my life. ‘Patient’ was never one of them.”

“Then I’d say it’s time.”

He kissed her hair as softly as he could manage.

She tilted her head back and peered up at him. Her face full of joy.

He leaned closer and kissed the tip of her freckled nose, his tools forgotten at his feet. “I love you.”

She rose to her tiptoes and laced a hand behind his neck.

He searched her face, waiting, fighting back a battle he was certain that showed. If not for the way her eyes drank from his face, then for the way her smile formed as she took in his expression. She sank back down, the curve in her mouth slipping away just as quick. Fear bolted through him. His heart wrestled with what he saw in her eyes—a hundred emotions and words he couldn’t begin to pin down. Heart hammering, he
searched for something more to say, but nothing came. Too much filled him, and he had no words for what lived in the span of his chest.

Then she leaned her forehead against that very space, so softly, without warning, that he drew in a rough breath. Her hands slid to his shoulders. Holding, clinging. As if to never let go. Was she crying?

Stupid man, he couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Nothing beyond her name, which he finally spoke.

“And I love you,” she whispered.

Jarring the breath from him. She looked up, her eyes so moist two tears slipped and fell when she blinked. He ran his thumbs gently over their trails, once. And then again. Her smile returning, she turned her cheek into his palm and closed her eyes. Stepping back, legs shaking, more nervous than he’d ever been in his life, he lowered himself to one knee. Her eyes widened. His heart beat so loud he was certain she would hear. Taking her hands in his, he marveled at the sensation and sent a plea heavenward that this was what his future held.

“Lonnie Sawyer …” His heart was in his throat.

She tilted her head to the side, eyes glossy.

“Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Another tear slid down her cheek.

Gideon forced himself to breathe. And then again. And again. Finally, Lonnie nodded, her face a sunrise.

He kissed both of her hands. “So that’s a yes?” Without releasing her, he rose.

She nodded again. “Yes.” Her face tilted toward his in sweet invitation.

Suddenly, something struck him. A fear. An awareness of how brokenly human he still was. Holding the sides of her face, he ran a thumb
over her lips. “I want to kiss you, Lonnie.” Gideon gulped, suddenly realizing how alone they were. Her smile softened, making the battle he fought that much harder. “But I …” His throat worked to swallow. The last time he’d kissed her had been in front of the Bennetts’ house. Making a mess of things. But now … “It’s just you and me … here. Alone. And if you knew how much I love you … how much I …” The words weren’t coming. Pulling her closer, he kissed her hair. “May I kiss you Lonnie, as my wife?”

Her chin trembled.

He needed witnesses. A whole heap of them, for his yearning for her had only deepened with time. “I fear I oughtn’t do it any other way.” The admission humbled him. He prayed she wouldn’t think less of him. Releasing her, he forced his feet back. “You deserve nothing less, and I want to give you the best I can, and I wish I’d done it sooner.”

Though she was still crying, joy flooded her face.

“Will you walk with me, Lonnie? To find a preacher?” He knew mischief crept into his expression when she choked out a little laugh.

Sniffing, she wiped her cheeks with her apron, then reached for his hand, pulling herself close, wrapping her other hand around her arm as if she meant to never let go. At her nudge, they took the first steps from the maple grove. Walking through the speckled light, Gideon looked down, unable to tell where he ended and she began.