My Life in the Bush of Ghosts (4 page)

B
efore the wedding day was reached my friend had chosen one of the most fearful ghosts for me as my “best man” who was always speaking evil words, even he was punished in the fire of hell more than fifty years for these evil talks and cruelties, but was still growing rapidly in bad habits, then he was expelled from hell to the “Bush of Ghosts” to remain there until the judgement day as he was unable to change his evil habits at all. When the wedding day arrived all the ghosts and ghostesses of this town, together with the father of the lady whom I wanted to marry, my friend and his mother, my best man and myself went to the church at about ten o'clock, but it was the ghosts' clock said so. When we reached their church I saw that the Reverend who preached or performed the wedding ceremony was the “Devil”. But as he was preaching he reached the point that I should tell them my name which is an earthly person's name and when they heard the name the whole of them in that church exclaimed at the same time—“Ah! you will be baptized in this church again before you will marry this lady.”

When I heard so from them I agreed, not knowing that
Rev. Devil was going to baptize me with fire and hot water as they were baptizing for themselves there. When I was baptized on that day, I was crying loudly so that a person who is at a distance of two miles would not listen before hearing my voice, and within a few minutes every part of my body was scratched by this hot water and fire, but before Rev. Devil could finish the baptism I regretted it. Then I told him to let me go away from their church and I do not want to marry again, because I could not bear to be baptized with fire and hot water any longer, but when all of them heard so, they shouted, “Since you have entered this church you are to be baptized with fire and hot water before you will go out of the church, willing or not you ought to wait and complete the baptism.” But when I heard so from them again, I exclaimed with a terrible voice that—“I will die in their church.” So all of them exclaimed again that—“you may die if you like, nobody knows you here.”

But as ghosts do not know the place or time which is possible to ask questions, so at this stage one of them got up from the seat and asked me—“By the way, how did you manage to enter into the ‘Bush of Ghosts', the bush which is on the second side of the world between the heaven and earth and which is strictly banned to every earthly person to be entered, and again you have the privilege to marry in this bush as well?” So as these ghosts have no arrangements for anything at the right time and right place, then I answered that I was too young to know which is “bad” and “good” before I mistakenly entered this bush and since that time or year I am trying my best to find out the right way back to my
home town until I reached the town of “burglary-ghosts” from where I came with my friend to this town. After I explained as above, then the questioner stood up again and asked me whether I could show them my friend whom I followed to that town. Of course as my friend was faithful, before I could say anything, he and his
mother
whom we came to visit got up at the same time and said that I am living with a burglar-ghost in the town of the burglar-ghosts. But when my friend and his mother confirmed all that I said and as all the rest of the ghosts are respecting all the burglar-ghosts most because they were supplying them the earthly properties, so they overlooked my offence, then Rev. Devil continued the baptism with hot water and fire.

After the baptism, then the same Rev. Devil preached again for a few minutes, while “Traitor” read the lesson. All the members of this church were “evil-doers”. They sang the song of evils with evils' melodious tune, then “Judas” closed the service.

Even “Evil of evils” who was the ruler of all the evils and who was always seeking evils about, evil-joking, evil-walking, evil-playing, evil-laughing, evil-talking, evil-dressing, evil-moving, worshipping evils in the church of evils and living in the evil-house with his evil family, everything he does is evil, attended the service too, but he was late before he arrived and when he shook hands with me on that day, I was shocked as if I touch a “live electric wire”, but my friend was signalling to me with his eyes not to shake hands with him to avoid the shock but I did not understand.

Having finished the marriage service, all of us went
to my in-laws' house where everybody was served with a variety of food and all kinds of ghosts' drinks. After that all the ghost and ghostess dancers started to dance. Also all the terrible-creatures sent their representatives as “Skulls”, “Long-white creatures”, “Invincible and invisible Pawn” or “Give and take” who fought and won the Red people in the Red-town for the “Palm-Wine Drinker”, “Mountain-creatures”, “Spirit of prey” whose eye's flood of light suffocated Palm-Wine Drinker's wife and also the “hungry-creature” who swallowed Palm-Wine Drinker together with his wife when returning from Deads'-town came and saluted my wife's father and they were served immediately they arrived. But at last “Skull” who came from “Skull family's town” reported “Spirit of prey” to my wife's father who was chief secretary to all the terrible and curious creatures in all dangerous bushes, that the spirit of prey stole his meat which the skull put at the edge of the plate in which both were eating as both were served together with one plate, because plates were not sufficient to serve each of them with a plate. But before my wife's father who was their chief secretary could have a chance to come and settle the matter for them, both of them started to fight fiercely so that all the ghosts and all the other representatives came nearer and surrounded them, clapping hands on them in such a way that if one of these fighters surrenders or gives up it would be very shameful to him.

Some of these scene-lookers were clapping, and an old Ape who was a slave and inherited by my wife's father from his first generation since uncountable years was beating a big tree under which both these terrible creatures
were fighting as a drum which had a very large sound. But as this old slave ape was beating the tree as a drum in such a way that all the scene-lookers who stood round them could not bear the lofty sound of the tree which was beaten as a drum and wait or stand still in one place, so all the ghosts, evils, terrible creatures, my friend, my wife and her father and myself started to dance at the same time. But as I was intoxicated by the strong drinks which I drank on that day, so I mistakenly smashed a small ghost to death who came from the “9th town of ghosts” to enjoy the merriment of the marriage with us as I was staggering about.

At last I was summoned to the court of evil for wilfully killing a small ghost, but as a little mistake is a serious offence as well as big offence in the “Bush of Ghosts”, so the “Evil judge” judged the case at one o'clock of the judgement day and luckily I was freed by a kind lawyer whose mother was the native of the “Bottomless Ravine's town”, the town which belongs to only “triplet ghosts and ghostesses”. But if it was not far this incognito lawyer who was very kind to me without knowing him elsewhere I would be imprisoned for fifty years as this is the shortest years for a slightest offence.

After I freed the case then I returned to my in-laws' town and lived there with my wife for a period of about three months and some days before I remembered my mother and brother again, because I did not remember them again when I married the lady. So one morning, I told the father of my wife that I want to leave his town for another one, but I did not tell him frankly that I want to continue to find the way to my home town which I
left since I was seven years old. So I told him that I should leave with his daughter who was my wife, he allowed me to go or to leave, but disallowed his daughter to go with me. Of course, when I thought over within myself that however an earthly person might love ghosts, ghosts could not like him heartily in any respect, then I alone left his town in the evening after I went round the town and bade goodbye to the prominent ghosts.

A
s I left the town of my wife's father late in the evening, the town which is the 8th town of ghosts in which I was baptized with fire and hot water, so I travelled from bush to bush till a late hour in the night, perhaps I would see the way of my home town, but when I believed that I could not see it or I could not reach the 9th town of ghosts on that night, then I stopped under a tree and climbed to the top. I laid down on its branch which had plenty of leaves that covered me as a cloth from the cold of that night and also from the wind which was blowing the tree to and fro, with dew which was dropping as light rain on everything on the ground. But as I was troubled too much on the way to this tree by the ghost children, because I was very curious to them, so it was not more than five minutes before I fell asleep. And when it was about an hour and half that I was enjoying this sleep to my satisfaction, then I felt suddenly that somebody was knocking the tree at the bottom as if somebody is knocking a door, so I woke alert or with fear and when I bent downward and looked at the foot of this tree, there I saw a very short ghost who was not more than three feet high but very corpulent as a pregnant woman who would
deliver either today or tomorrow. He was waving his hand to me to come down to him, but as I was looking at him all the while or for some minutes then I saw clearly that he had one arm, both his legs were twisted as rope and both feet faced sharply left and right, he had an eye on his forehead which was exactly like a moon, this eye was as big as a full moon and had a cover or socket which could be easily opening and closing at any time that he likes, no single hairs on his head and it was sparkling as polished ebony furniture.

When he noticed that I did not want to come down to him then he raised the cover of the eye off and at the same moment every part of this bush was as clear as daytime, and then I saw through this light that there were uncountable of the same kinds of these ghosts already surrounding the tree. All of them were waiting for me to come down to them, but as their attitude showed that they got ready to catch me, so by that I feared them.

But after they waited for a few minutes and believed that I stayed on this tree for their dreadful appearance then the whole of them came nearer to the tree and started to shake it with all their power, but when they nearly rooted out this tree then I fell on to their hands unexpectedly. I noticed carefully at this stage that if they are breathing in I would hear the cry of frogs, toads, pigs' cry, the crowing of cocks, the noises of birds and as if uncountable dogs are barking at the same time, and when they breathe out again there would be another cry of fearful creatures as well. But as the whole of them seized me by violence or rape at the same time, then I began to beg them with a lower or cool voice, because I
thought that they were going to eat me alive and they did not listen to me until they took me to their town which is the 9th town of ghosts.

Having reached their town, they put me in a very dark room which was under the ground, as such rooms are very common in the “Bush of Ghosts”. After a while they changed me to a blind man and then rubbed my body with their palms which were sharp as sand paper and were slightly scraping me as dulled sand paper. Having left that they were cutting the flesh of my body with their sharp finger-nails which were long at about four inches, so I was crying bitterly for much pain. Again after a little while they left that and then my eyes opened as before, but I saw nobody there with me in this doorless room who was ill-treating me like that. Immediately my eyes opened there I saw about a thousand snakes which almost covered me, although they did not attempt to bite me at all. It was in this doorless room which is in underground I first saw in my life that the biggest and longest among these snakes which was acting as a director for the rest vomited a kind of coloured lights from his mouth on to the floor of this room. These lights shone to every part of the room and also to my eyes, and after all of the snakes saw me clearly through the lights then they disappeared at once with the lights and then the room became dark as before.

After a few minutes later that these snakes disappeared, there I saw that this doorless room changed to a pitcher and unexpectedly I found myself inside this pitcher and at the same moment my neck was about three feet long and very thick, and again my head was so big so that my
long neck was unable to carry it upright as it was very stiff as a dried stick. Another two eyes which were as big and round as a football formed and appeared on this head and both eyes could be easily turning anywhere that I liked to look or see and I did not know where my normal eyes which were on my head before went. But as I was in this pitcher then all of these ghosts were visible to me and at the same time all were knocking the big head with sticks, but I had no hands to defend it because only my head and neck appeared out from the pitcher.

After some minutes they left knocking the big head, but I began to feel hunger as if I had not eaten anything for a year, so when I could not bear this hunger I started to cry out—“I want to eat.” And immediately I was saying so there I saw on my front the food which I like most or which was exactly the same as the kind that my mother was always cooking for me in my town before we left. But as it was on my front my head could not reach it as my neck could not bend anywhere as a dried stick, of course when I tried my best and overturned the pitcher the head fell a little distance from this food instead of touching it, but as the neck was unable to bend or move the head, and the head was also too big for the neck to lift up, I tried all my power to touch the food more than thirty minutes before my mouth could reach the food and when I was about to start to eat it my mouth changed again to the beak of a small bird unexpectedly, but the food was still in front with its good flavour. When this beak disturbed me eating the food then I wanted to cry because I was feeling hunger as if I would die soon, but I cried out like a small bird instead of a man and when
all these ghosts that surrounded and looked at me as I was trying all the while to eat the food heard my cry as a small bird's cry all laughed at me at the same time.

So after I had tried all my efforts on everything and failed, then I was thinking in my mind that it is better for me to die now than to be in punishment like this, so immediately I finished these thoughts the beak disappeared together with the food and there was a mouth as usual and without hesitation I was moving together with the pitcher along the floor of this doorless room, but I saw nobody who was pushing me on and also all these ghosts which surrounded me disappeared unnoticed. At last I found myself where several roads meet together, the place was about one-third of a mile distant from their town, but all these roads were foot paths. After I moved to the centre of these roads by an invisible mover then I stopped. It was an open place, except the bush which spread on it. There I remained till the morning without seeing a single creature.

When it was about eight o'clock in the morning all the ghosts and ghostesses with their children of that town came to me with two sheep and two goats and also with some fowls. Having reached there the first thing they did was that the whole of them surrounded me, then all were singing, beating drums, clapping hands, ringing bells and dancing round me for a few minutes before they killed all the domestic animals which they brought before me and poured the blood of these animals on to my head which ran to the long neck and then into the pitcher in which the rest of my body was. After that the flesh of these animals was cooked and put all near to touch my
mouth and I was easily eating it. So all these ghosts were coming every third day and worshipping me there as their god. But the worst part of it was the bells which they were beating with big rods whenever they came, and when sounding it would cause a head-ache, and again the blood of all the animals pouring on to my head was also smelling very bad when rotten. They were spending about four hours with me whenever they were coming to worship me, so I did not feel hunger again as I was eating all the sacrifices they were bringing to me.

Ah! nobody would enter into the “Bush of Ghosts” without much trouble and severe punishment, because as I was repeatedly beaten by rain and scourged by the sun on the centre of these roads as I was unable to move myself anywhere, so at night the bush animals, and other kinds of reptiles would come and stand before me and then looking at me with great surprise for my fearful appearance. And if all of them looked at me for so many hours, then the boa would come to me and start to swallow my head which appeared from the pitcher, but when it swallowed it to the larger part of the pitcher it would disturb him from swallowing the whole of me or the pitcher, and when disturbed then he would vomit me out again and I would not be allowed to sleep or rest for a minute throughout the nights because of the troubles given me by these animals. And if the day breaks again, all the sheep, goats, fowls, pigs and dogs would come again from that town. All would stand and look at me with much astonishment as I was curious and very dreadful to them, even to any person who might see me at this time. If these domestic animals look at me for some hours
attentively, motionless or crying once, then all the dogs who were among them would be barking at me and coming to me slowly until they would reach me and then they would start to eat the remaining sacrifice which I could not finish, and before they would finish that the goats and sheep would come to me and start to kick me on the head but I had no hands to drive them away. Again all these dogs would be licking all the blood poured on to my head with their tongues, and as they were doing like this all the ghosts would come again and then all these domestic animals would run back to the town, so by that I had no chance to sleep or rest both day and night.

Within a few months that I was at the centre of these roads in the pitcher news had reached every other town of ghosts of that area and all of them were trying their best to steal me for their towns as they thought that I am really a god.