My Life in the Bush of Ghosts (8 page)

W
hen we went round this Nameless-town before we went to the village, there I noticed carefully that all the inhabitants are ladies and women, no single man is living there or coming there at all and to my surprise all these ladies and women have long brown moustaches which resemble that of he-goats, the moustaches are under their lower jaws, so every woman married a lady, because there are no men to marry them. But when I asked the “Super-lady” or my wife—“Why all the ladies and women have moustaches in this town like he-goats?” she replied—“Those women with moustaches had been betrayed by their husbands after their marriage, but now none of them could marry any male again except to marry ladies as husbands.” After we took a stroll round the village and saw many terrible and wonderful things for some hours, then we came back home. Having rested and drank some drinks as a refreshment, then we slept till the evening.

When I completed the period of eight months with her I told her that I want to know her father and mother who are wizard and witch and also her grandmother’s town who is the native of the Hopeless-town. After a few weeks that I had advised her like this, we left home and there remained only those two maids at home. But we
travelled for a week before we saw the town of her father at a distance of five miles, then she told me to stop, so both of us stopped near a tree whose leaves were shaking with powerful speed. Then she told me that she wanted to change herself to a goat and said furthermore that if she appeared personally to her father and mother they would catch her to be killed for their “witch and wizard members”, because both of them had promised to kill her for them. After a few minutes she used her supernatural power and changed at once to a goat with a strong rope on its neck, then she told me to hold the rope and pull her along the way. She was directing me whenever I wanted to miss the way and I understood all her sayings as she was changed to the goat, but nobody could hear her voice, except me.

When we reached the town she directed me to her father’s house in which we met over three thousand witches and wizards members who were holding an important meeting at that time, then we stood near them and looked at every one of the members. Of course we did not enter the house because she only showed them to me. I saw her father and mother sat on the higher chairs in the centre of these members talking to them. To my surprise I saw many old men and women of my home town who were tight friends to my
father and I was greatly surprised to see them in this meeting, because I did not know how they managed to be there, but I did not let them see me. After a while she told me in the same voice to let us go, so we left there for her grandmother’s town. Having left that town at a distance of about a mile, then she changed to the lady as before,
after that she started to tell me the story of some of the wizard and witch members’ witchcrafts and wizardcrafts, that they can travel all round the whole world within a minute and they have power on everything and furthermore all of them have no good thoughts except evil thoughts both day and night, even those who are worshipping the heavenly God are also their enemies. But she did not change to any form again until we entered the town of her grandmother.

H
aving entered this wonderful town which is the Hopeless-town, we went straight to her grandmother’s house in which we met many ghosts and ghostesses who received us with gladness because they are her family. But I did not see her grandmother, because she had been imprisoned inside the everlasting fire. When we entered this Hopeless-town, she warned me seriously three times thus—“You must not speak any word with your mouth but with a shrug of your shoulders. Whenever you are talking to any ghost in this town you must not raise up or down your eyelids and also your mouth must not open at all. If you mistakenly or wilfully break any of these warnings it would result in a severe punishment for you.” Having warned me like this, I told her that—“I do not think that I will return without any punishment, because I shall forget to comply with the whole warnings.” Having warned me like this, she herself stopped talking with her mouth and I too.

As a matter of fact I noticed well that nobody is talking by mouth in this town, even if a baby is born on the same day, he or she would not talk by mouth and also all their domestic animals as sheep, goats, fowls or all creatures that are living there are not talking with their mouths but with the shrug of their shoulders.

One day, when my wife with her sister went to visit their grandmother in the everlasting fire in which she was imprisoned over two hundred years, as I remained alone at home I thought within myself to go as far as the centre of this town as a stroll. Having travelled to the centre of the town I stopped and I was gloating at a curious creature whose body was full of large eyes, but as a ghost was passing closely to me, he mistakenly smashed my foot unexpectedly with his heavy foot which had long nails of about half a foot. But as he smashed me, I cried out louder suddenly—“Oh”, and those who stood by heard my voice which was very strange to them, because there is no noise of any creature, every part of the town is always calm as if there is nobody living there at all. So as I cried out which is against their law, those who stood by came and held me as a thief, then they took me to their king who sat on a fearful idol which was moulded with yellow and red clay or mud, because it is on such a seat that the king of this town must be sitting whenever he wants to judge a very serious case. Then he was asking me these questions with a shrug of his shoulders as follows:—“Who are you?” But as I did not understand what he was asking me with the shrug of the shoulders, so to set myself free from the punishment I began to reply as well with my own shrug of the shoulders as he was doing, which means to him—“You are a bastard king.” And again, on the same spot that I stood before him I mistakenly raised up and down the lids of my eyes which means—“You are fool,” and this is contrary to the law of this town. Again I mistakenly opened down my mouth at the same moment, and this means to
them—“I shun you away.” But when all the ghosts and ghostesses who stood by saw this again, all were shouting with the shrug of their shoulders in such a way that the shoulders were nearly cut off, this means—“Ah! you are abusing the king.”

So as these three rules are very important offences for them in this town, and also all the three are not pardonable as my wife had already told me before we entered the town, so the king ordered those who brought me to him to take me to the purgatory which is near the town to throw me inside it as a punishment. But as these ghosts were dragging me mercilessly along the road to the purgatory instead of letting me walk with my feet, so, luckily, at that time, my wife with her sister were returning from the place that they had gone to visit their grandmother and it was on this road they were travelling along to the town. Immediately both of them met these ghosts dragging me along, they knew already that I had made mistakes, so both started to beg these ghosts not to put me inside the purgatory, and bribed them with some amount before I was released. But at the same time that I was released, my wife and myself did not return to that town again, except her sister. So we started from there to return to our Nameless-town, but it was a queer road we took instead of the one on which we travelled to that town. If my wife and her sister had not met these ghosts on the way as they were dragging me to the purgatory, I should have perished before she would know. This is how we left the Hopeless-town.

O
n our queer way to homeward we visited many towns and villages. But this queer way is farther than the way on which we travelled when going to the town of my wife’s father and her grandmother’s town and also we spent more time before we reached our Nameless-town than when going. We visited the towns and villages as follows:—We first visited a village which is near the 26th country of ghosts. All the inhabitants of this village were not more than forty thousand ghosts and ghostesses. All of them were in peace and in pleasure always. They were harmless to either earthly persons or to other kinds of creatures. We reached there at about ten o’clock in the night and yet they received us with gladness. Before an hour that we reached there they had cooked food and brought it to us with drinks, after that, all of them sat round us outside, then merriment began in which jokes, dance, clapping and the drums of ghosts were included.

None of them sleep till the morning but amused us throughout, especially the “jocose-ghostess” who was among them, she was joking in such a way that if a sick man is hearing her jokes he would be healed at once without using any medicine. As all of them were wealthy in corn, sheep, fowls and foxes, so they gave us one fowl, a fox, some quantity of corn and a lamb which was not
more than five months old as gifts, because my wife informed them that I am her husband and all of them were pleased to be so. After these gifts then we went round to their houses and thanked them greatly for their kindness.

Then we left there at about nine o’clock in the morning and all of them led us to a short distance as if we are a king before they returned to their village. But having travelled to a distance of seven miles away from that village we reached a wide river which crossed our way.

H
aving crossed the river we travelled to a distance of four miles from that river till we reached a deep valley which is crossed this queer way. A very slender stick was put across it with which to be crossed by everyone, but there was no other single stick near that area. But when we reached this “Lost or Gain Valley” we saw a notice-board on which all these warnings are written in the ghosts’ language as follows:—“Put all the clothes on your body with loads down here before climbing this valley.” And I did not understand it. But as this slender stick was so slender, so we tried all our best to climb it with clothes on our bodies and failed before we understood what is written on the board, then my wife took all the clothes off her body and put them down, then she first crossed it. This means the slender stick was not strong enough for a person to climb it with clothes on their body. After my wife crossed it easily without clothes on her body, then I did as she did and I crossed it easily as well. All of our dress cost more than £100. Not knowing that the meaning of the name of this valley which is—“Lost or Gain Valley” means as we put all our clothes down at this first edge before crossing it, it is so for those who are travelling towards us from the opposite direction who should put down all the clothes off their bodies at
the second edge as well before they could climb it and after climbing it then they will take any clothes that they meet there and wear them instead of their own which they leave before climbed it. Perhaps the clothes that they might meet there might cost more than their own, so it is their gain and if the one that they meet there are not worth their own it is also their loss.

So having made ourselves naked and climbed to the second edge, then we stopped there and waited, perhaps a cloth-seller might come to pass at that time, so that we might buy some clothes from him or her to wear at that spot and then to continue our journey, because we did not meet any clothes at this second edge and we could not travel along the road without clothes on our bodies. But after some hours that we had been waiting there for a cloth-seller, a couplet ghosts, wife and husband, came. They wanted to climb this valley to the other edge. But as both are the natives of that area so they knew how they are climbing it every time and without hesitation they took away all the animal skins that they wore from their bodies and put them down there, then both of them climbed the valley to the second edge. Having reached there they did not waste time, but the husband wore my costly clothes as trousers, shirt, tie, socks, shoes, hat, golden ring with my costly wrist-watch. After this his wife wore my wife’s clothes as—underwear, gown, golden beads, rings, hat, shoes, wrist-watch, after that she handled her (my wife’s) lofty hand-bag, and then both of them went away without hesitation. But when they did so and went away then we quite understood what we should do. So we wore their own as well. But it is a great
pity and loss that their own were only the animal skins which were worth nothing and the worst part of it, it was just a baby’s clothes on our bodies, because it was not the size for us at all and also made us more ugly and fearful to any creature to meet us on the way. So it was our loss and it was their gain. And it was after we left that area we heard that no stranger would cross this valley without loss, because all the ghosts and ghostesses of that area are very poor and only living on this kind of exchange.

Then we kept going as usual with our shameful appearance which did not make us feel happy as before. But I am not satisfied as somebody told us that those ghost etc. of that area could not lose but gain. So I am still eager to find out the right way of how to cross this “Lost or Gain Valley” without any loss except gain. “Do you know?” After we had travelled again on this “queer-way” to about two miles in that valley, then we entered into a town at about eight o’clock in the night, because we had wasted much time at the valley, but as we were totally tired, so we went to a ghost’s house who is well-known to my wife, and we slept there till the morning. But as we wanted to spend a few days there to rest, so we cooked our food early in the morning, then we ate it to our satisfaction.

Having left there we did not branch again to any town but straight to our Nameless-town. Immediately we reached home we ate the food which had been prepared for us by the two maids who deputed for us at home. After that we left the dining-room for the parlour and then started to drink and also tell my wife some of the earthly news which she is always interested to hear every time.