Authors: Jacqueline Wilson
Jodie pulled a face at Mum and turned her back on both of us. âPearl Pearl Pearl Pearl Pearl! It's
always
Pearl's party,' she muttered.
I stared at the hunch of her shoulder, astonished. âNo it's not! Look, I don't
want
a party. I won't have one, OK?' I said.
â
Now
look what you've done, Jodie,' said Mum. âYou should feel thoroughly ashamed of yourself, trying to spoil things for Pearl. You should count yourself lucky you've got such a dear little sister.
Now up you get, both of you. Breakfast in twenty minutes.'
âThank you for the curtains, Mum,' I said. â
And
the lovely fluffy black rug.'
âYou're welcome, pet,' said Mum, bustling out the room.
âCreep!' Jodie muttered.
âI know. But it
was
nice of her.'
âMmm.'
âJodie, I really
don't
want a party.'
âI know. I'm not really fussed, I was just winding Mum up. But it'll be fine. We'll make it a lovely party for Zeph and Sakura and Dan. And Harley will be cool about it. He likes little kids. he likes
you
, doesn't he?'
âDo you think he thinks about me as if I'm
that
little?' I asked.
âYes. No.
I
don't know. What about Jed? Do you think he thinks
I
'm a little kid?' said Jodie.
âI hope he does,' I said. âJodie, if you
really
want to ask Jed to come, I could ask Mum again.'
âNo, she'd never budge on that one. And can you really see Jed at a children's party?' Jodie jumped out of bed, grinning at me. âMaybe Jed and I will have our own private party.' She started doing a sexy dance, running her fingers up and down her own arms and twitching her hips.
âYou're
so
bad! Hey, teach
me
how to dance like that.'
I jumped out of bed too and did my best to copy her, narrowing my eyes and pursing my lips in an effort to look sultry.
âYou look like a short-sighted goldfish!' said Jodie, rocking with laughter.
At breakfast time she told Zeph and Sakura and Dan that I was having a party.
âI'm
maybe
having a party,' I said. âI might not really want one.'
âWhy wouldn't you want a
party
?' said Zeph. âWill you have lots to eat?'
âI expect so.'
âI'll wear my party dress,' said Sakura.
âDo I like parties?' Dan said cautiously.
âMaybe. I don't like them much,' said Harley, from up the other end of the bench.
âOh,' I said, all my cornflakes squeezing tight into a soggy lump in my tummy.
âYou'll
love
parties, Dan,' said Jodie. âAnd you'll have to come to Pearl's party whether you want to or not, Harley, otherwise she'll sulk big time.'
âNo I won't!' I said. âYou don't have to come, Harley.'
âBut you will, won't you?' said Jodie.
âMaybe,' said Harley. He winked at Sakura. âSo long as I can wear
my
party dress.'
Sakura looked startled. Zeph and Dan roared with laughter. Sakura started giggling too, her hands over her mouth. The three of them collapsed against each other on the bench, chortling.
âOh well, we won't need to hire a clown, not if we've got Harley here on tap,' said Jodie.
âHas he
really
got a party dress?' Sakura asked me when she'd stopped giggling.
âProbably not,' I said.
â
I
've really got a party dress,' Sakura confided.
âYes, I know. You were wearing it yesterday,' I said.
âThat wasn't my
party
dress!' she said, giggling
again. âMy party dress is much, much prettier. Do you want to see it? I'll show you.' She slipped her hand into mine.
âAll right,' I said. âThough are you allowed?'
âOf course she's allowed,' said Jodie. âI want to see this dress too.'
We got up off the bench together. Miss Ponsonby stood up over at the top table.
âYou're not running off, are you, Sakura? We're going to make our special raffia baskets today,' she said.
âI don't want to make a silly girl's basket,' said Zeph. âCan I come with you too?'
âMe too!' said Dan.
Miss Ponsonby frowned.
âWe're just going to see Sakura's dress, Miss Ponsonby. We'll bring everyone back in ten minutes tops,' Jodie said, smiling. âYou can relax and have another cup of tea.'
âNow there's an offer you can't refuse,' said Mr Wilberforce, eating one of Mum's sausages with great relish. âSo you're a teacher's assistant and general childminder today, young Jodie. You're proving a very versatile member of the Melchester community. You're also a gardener and a dog-walker.'
âI hope you'll take Old Shep for another walk this afternoon, Jodie. He's so much better behaved if he's had some really good exercise. I'm useless. I get worn out long before he does,' said Miss French.
âOf course I'll walk him,' said Jodie. She glanced at Jed. âAnd I can help out with any gardening stuff if you like. Any odd job you get bored with. I love gardening.'
Jed raised his eyebrows at her, looking amused. Mr Wilberforce was most enthusiastic.
âDo come and help, my dear. There's always heaps to do. Jed and I do our best but the grounds are determined to revert to wilderness. Even the formal garden is a disgrace this year, the lawn especially.' He sighed.
âDon't look at me,' said Jed. âThere's not much point trying to mow it into nice neat stripes when those blooming badgers have been burrowing. Pesky vermin. You should let me put poison down.'
I stiffened. I forgot to be shy. âYou can't poison badgers! They're lovely animals,' I said.
âShe's right,' said Harley, behind me. âMorally and indeed legally. It's totally against the law to kill a badger. You'd be prosecuted and severely fined.'
âYou're just a silly townie kid,' said Jed contemptuously. âNo point getting all sentimental over badgers. They burrow all over the shop and they spread TB amongst your cattle.'
âI think you'll find that's heavily disputed,' said Harley. âIn fact some experts think it's the cattle that give the badgers TB.'
âToffee-nosed twit,' Jed said softly to Harley, turning his head so that Mr Wilberforce couldn't hear.
âCome on, Sakura, lead the way,' said Jodie hurriedly.
We walked out with all three little ones. Harley loped along too, his fists clenched.
âDid you hear what he called me?' he said.
âNo,' I lied tactfully.
âHe called you a toffee-nosed twit,' said Jodie, thinking she was being helpful. âNothing to get too steamed up about.'
âWhat? I'm so steaming I'm boiling.'
âHe didn't
mean
it. Or even if he did, so what? You
are
toffee-nosed, Harley. No one could talk posher than you. And you deliberately act like a twit half the time, you must admit.'
âThanks a bunch,' said Harley. âSo I take it you actually like Jed the badger-baiter, Jodie? I think that makes
you
a bit of a twit.'
âNonsense! He isn't a badger-baiter.'
âBadger-poisoner then.'
âYou've got these really big ears, Harley. Don't you ever use them? He said he'd
like
to poison them, he didn't say he really would. He was just winding you up. He's the guy who does all the real work in the gardens and Mr Wilberforce just takes it for granted, but the moment you and I mosey along and cut off a few fiddly little branches, Mr Wilberforce does his nut praising us. Of
course
we're going to pee him off royally.'
â
You
don't. He seems quite smitten with you,' said Harley.
â
Really?
' said Jodie delightedly.
â
Really?
' said Zeph, imitating her.
She picked him up by the armpits and whirled him round and round until he squealed. Then she gave Sakura a twister, then Dan. I remembered when
I
was little enough to have Jodie whirl me round. I couldn't be cross with her for sticking up for Jed, even though I disliked him more than ever now. I glanced at Harley, who was still stalking along, flushed in the face.
âStop huffing and puffing about Jed, Harley,' said Jodie. âCome on, lighten up.'
We went along the path, past the spot where our own badgers were hiding in their woodland set. At least they were safe from horrible Jed. Harley glanced at me and we nodded significantly. We walked on, the children hopping round and round us, past the Wilberforces' bungalow.
Mrs Wilberforce was sitting in the window, peering out. She was wearing a flowing purple dress, her hair long and loose so that she looked like a faded fairytale princess. I felt anxious, because I hadn't been to visit her yet. It wasn't exactly that I didn't want to go. I kept thinking about all those lovely old leather-bound books. I'd finished
The Secret Garden
and badly wanted to borrow another book, but I felt stupidly shy of going to see Mrs Wilberforce by myself.
I ducked my head as we walked past, but I could see out of the corner of my eye that she was waving. I half raised my arm awkwardly, as if I was hailing a taxi.
Zeph saw me and peered round. âYou're waving at that spooky lady!' he said, astonished.
âShe's
not
a spooky lady,' I said. âShe's Mrs Wilberforce, Mr Wilberforce's wife.'
âShe's
ever
so spooky. She can't walk or talk,' said Dan.
âThat's silly. She can speak perfectly. She just has to use a wheelchair because she got hurt,' I said.
âWho hurt her?' said Sakura.
âShe hurt herself,' said Jodie. âShe was crossed in love, jilted on her wedding day, and so she climbed the steps to the tower, and at midnight she gave
one last hopeless howl and cast herself out of the tower window, down down down, tumbling over and over in the air, her nightgown billowing. She should have been smashed to pieces on the hard flagstones below, but see her long hair? Well, it got caught up in all the ivy and her neck snapped. She dangled there helplessly until they cut her down. She couldn't struggle because her arms and legs wouldn't work any more, and ever since she's been like a poor sad broken doll.'
Zeph and Sakura and Dan were all stopped in their tracks, open-mouthed.
âStop it, Jodie! They're only little. They'll believe it,' I said, though she'd told it so vividly I saw Mrs Wilberforce falling too, long hair flying, down and down . . .
âWe won't hurt ourselves, will we?' said Sakura.
âOnly if you go up in the tower. Then you might find yourself irresistibly pulled to the window and you wouldn't be able to stop yourself. You'd step out into thin air and thenâ'
âDon't listen to her, Sakura,' I said, putting my hands over the little girl's ears. Her hair was very thick and silky, soft under my fingers.
âShe's telling stories, isn't she?' said Zeph. âYou can't get up into the tower.'
âThat's what
you
think,' said Jodie. âI might find a way.'
We'd come to twin two-storey houses now, mirror images of each other, with white stucco walls and black window frames and bright red doors, with green rectangles of grass in front. All they needed was a smiley sun and a stripe of blue sky up above
and they'd look as if they were painted by a giant child.
âThat's the girls' house,' said Sakura, pointing to the nearest one. âAnd that's the boys' one.'
âOh, rats,' said Jodie. âI hoped one would be painted pink and one blue.'
âMy party dress is red and gold,' said Sakura. âCome and see!'
We all trooped into the girls' house, even Harley and Zeph and Dan.
âThough we're not allowed,' said Dan. âThe big girls chase us out if we go in there.'
âThey won't chase
me
,' said Zeph, strutting about. âWe're not scared of any silly old girls, are we, Harley?'
âI'm
very
scared of girls,' said Harley. âJodie's dead scary. Watch she doesn't kick you with her high heels. And Pearl can pack a hefty punch. But Sakura's the
most
scary. Watch out for her karate! She'll go
whack whack
and chop you into little bits, won't you, Sakura?'
Sakura doubled up laughing, her hands over her mouth. âYou're so silly, Harley!' she said.
She led us to the little girls' dormitory on the ground floor. All the beds were stripped and empty apart from Sakura's at the end, by the far door.
âThat's Undie's room,' she said. âShe keeps her door open when it's just her and me so I can hear her going
snore snore snore
so I don't get scared.'
Sakura had dolls and teddies lying in complicated cuddles all over her red duvet. There were so many, there didn't look as if there would be much room for Sakura herself. Zeph picked up a doll in each hand and made them do karate on each other.
Dan purloined a baby doll and pulled her knickers off to see if she had a real bottom. Sakura looked understandably anxious.
âPut the dolls back, boys. They're not yours, they're Sakura's,' I said.
They didn't take any notice.
âHey, hey, Zeph, I'll karate chop
you
if you don't watch out,' said Jodie, miming. âAnd as for you, Dan the man, watch out or I'll whip your trousers down and see if
you
've got a real bottom.'
All three shrieked at this. The boys threw the dolls back on Sakura's bed. She patted them into place, nodding at Jodie gratefully.
âCome on then, party girl, show us your dress,' said Jodie.