My Sweetheart (2 page)

             
Step Seven,
Practice thought stopping, a technique that helps you to become more mindful and in control of what you think (or don't want to think about, as the case may be).
Jane’s eyes went wide in wonder. She could be the master of her thoughts. She could control what she thought about. She put her laptop down and hurried to their junk door. She pulled it open and grabbed a rubber band and slipped it over her wrist. Every time she thought about Tate, she’d pull on the rubber band and let it go. She’d heard about this. Addicts used this exercise sometimes. Fine, she was addicted to Tate. She’d just get un-addicted.

             
Step Eight,
Do all the things you've ever wanted to do, that you wouldn't have done if you were still with this person
. Jane groaned and moved on. How lame was it that she was head over heels in love with a man and they’d never even been on one date.

             
Step Nine,
Mingle
. Jane groaned out loud and stared at the screen urging it to say something else. She didn’t want to mingle. She didn’t want to get out and make new friends. She wanted to hang out with her sisters and wait for the moment when Tate walked through her door.
Pitiful
. And now her sisters were going off and getting married and she was going to be left on her own. Maybe she did need to get out and meet new people. Or in other words,
get a life
. This article was so rude.

             
Step Ten,
Understand that your feelings may never fade completely
. Jane stared at the screen in horror.
What?
She might have to feel like this the rest of her life? Aching, lonely and miserable?
No way.
She refused. She narrowed her eyes at the list and then flicked her wrist with the rubber band for good measure. She was going to dang well get over Tate Matafeo if it killed her.

             
She put the laptop down and stood up. She refused to Google if people really could die of a broken heart. She already knew the answer.

             
Monday morning as she flipped the sign on the door to OPEN, she smiled at the pale blue sky and wispy clouds. Soon it would be fall. She couldn’t wait. Sweaters, Halloween and watching the leaves turn colors. Her favorite season.

             
She turned back and walked over to the glass display cases and stared at the desserts, cakes and bread and smiled proudly. Their grandmother had given her and her sisters a legacy and she never took it for granted. She felt ill at just the thought of being a full time accountant instead of a baker. She looked up toward heaven and smiled at her grandmother.

             
“Thank you,” she whispered as Kit walked in looking gorgeous in a white t-shirt and apron. She could make a brown paper bag look glamorous.

             
Kit smiled at her sister and opened the case to slide in the fruit pies Julie had made for them this morning. “Thanks for what?”

             
Jane blushed and shrugged. “I was talking to grandma. I was telling her thank you for giving us her bakery. I was just thinking that right now, I could be sitting in an office going over someone’s receipts or doing someone’s quarterly taxes instead of living here with you and baking.”

             
Kit laughed and shut the case. “Yeah, when you put it like that, we have a lot to be grateful for. If we hadn’t come here, I would have never met Hunter and Layla would have never met Michael. She’d still be a social worker down in California and we’d never see her. And I’d still be up in Seattle, miserable and desperate. And alone,” she said with a frown and then looked up at the ceiling and smiled.

             
“Thanks Grandma,” she said softly.

             
Jane grinned and walked over and hugged her sister. “I’m really glad you found Hunter. I honestly didn’t know anyone could love someone as much as Michael loves Layla, but it’s possible Hunter has him beat.”

             
Kit blushed and bit her lip, her eyes glowing with love and happiness. “Jane, he is the most incredible man in the world. And he
loves
me. I have no idea why, but he really does,” she said sounding slightly surprised.

             
Jane raised an eyebrow and snorted. “It probably has nothing to do with the fact that you’re the most beautiful woman in the world
and
a talented artist.”

             
Kit tilted her head and stared at Jane as if she were insane. “You’re only saying that because you’re my sister.”

             
Jane laughed and pushed her sister in the shoulder. “You Kit, are an idiot,” she said and grinned as the bell rang over the door, preventing Kit from retaliating.

             
They were busy for the next few hours until Mandee came in to relieve them. Kit had a wedding cake to design and she had bills to pay and she needed to make a deposit at the bank.

             
She hurried through the paperwork and barely remembered to take off her apron before jumping in her car. After making the deposit she sat in her car and frowned. Now what to do? Stella was coming over at four after she got out of school so that gave her a few hours of free time. She stared at her hands on the steering wheel and rolled her eyes as she thought of her ten steps to falling out of love. She needed to get out and meet people and mingle. It was that or find a new hobby.

             
Jane started her car and drove through the streets and thought about going shopping. She had a few friends from college who had made a hobby out of shopping, but she couldn’t afford it. Their father, Landon Kendall was in rehab for drug addiction up in Seattle and the cost of his three month stay was so staggering that she wouldn’t be able to go shopping for a while. Hunter had insisted on paying half of Landon’s rehab costs, but that still left a small fortune to come up with. Michael had helped them get a loan to cover the rest. She just hoped they were able to pay it off in this lifetime.

             
She stopped at a red light and glanced at a billboard.
Meetandmatch.com. Make new friends and meet new people in your area. First month FREE.
The picture on the billboard showed a gorgeous blond girl surrounded by friends and a few men who looked eager to be with her. That was actually what she wanted. A circle of friends and a few cute guys to get her mind off of Tate. Maybe she should give it a try?

             
Jane flicked the rubber band on her wrist and headed home. She waved at Mandee and Kit and then went upstairs and grabbed her laptop and before she chickened out she typed in the web address and signed up. She studied the website and felt a little better knowing that it wasn’t just about dating. It was more about socializing and having fun. It was set up like a basic dating service, but its focus was more on making friends. She put in all of her information and then had to write a paragraph describing herself.
Yuck
. She decided to go with honest.

             
My two older sisters just ditched me for true love so now I’m bored, lonely and on my own on top of being new in town. It turns out I need friends. Would love to go dancing, out to dinner, to the movies or even to a football game. (Please note that football is the last on the list).

             
She frowned and pressed enter before she lost her courage. She shut the laptop and went downstairs to grab a croissant sandwich. They’d decided to go with chicken salad and bacon with butter lettuce today and there was no way she could resist that. She grabbed one and a bottle of water and then decided she probably needed a little chocolate too. She deserved it after signing up for meet and match. She deserved a whole pan of brownies for that.

             
She walked into the store front and waved at a few customers before taking a square of wax paper and opening the glass case to pull a brownie out. She felt her cell vibrate in her pocket and turned around to check her message. She had just been approved for Meet and Match.
Hallelujah
. When she turned around, she came face to face with Tate Matafeo.

             
“I didn’t think you ladies ever ate your own creations. You’re all so tiny,”

             
Jane froze and slowly slipped her cell back in her pocket. Tate Matafeo was smiling down at her with a raised black eyebrow.

             
She blushed as if she’d been caught shoving three donuts in her mouth and licked her lips. “Trust me, I’m just like anyone else. I love dessert,” she admitted, shutting the case and putting the square of decadent chocolate on the counter. She glanced at Mandee but she was busy helping a mother and four children.

             
“What can I get you Tate?” she asked politely before snapping the rubber band on her wrist hard. She was trying not to stare at Tate, but how could she resist? He was so tall and strong and he was only three feet away from her, just standing there with his hands on his narrow hips as he stared at the case of desserts. Since he was busy deciding which cupcake to choose she could stare at him all she wanted.
Maybe she could get Kit to paint a portrait of him? She knew right where she’d hang it.

             
Jane groaned silently and flicked her wrist one more time, trying to beat into submission her out of control romantic heart.

             
Tate glanced at her with a frown. “Is there a reason you keep flicking yourself with a rubber band?” he asked.

             
Jane swallowed and looked away guiltily. “Yeah, actually, there’s a really good reason. So what are you craving today? Hunter’s mom came in and made apple pies. I tried a piece this morning and you would die it is so good,” she said with a happy grin.

             
Tate smiled back and leaned up against the case, staring into her face. “That sounds good. I’ll take a whole apple pie then. I’ve got a rugby game tonight and we’re all bringing a dessert to share. It’s the first game of the season,” he said.

             
Jane turned around and grabbed one of their boxes and expertly lifted an apple pie out of the case and boxed it up. “Sounds like fun,” she said sounding slightly forlorn.

             
Tate looked at her quickly and then away. “So what are you up to these days? I hear you and Garrett broke up,” he said, watching her intently.

             
Jane frowned and leaned against the case. “Yeah, he wasn’t for me. He’s a great guy, I really liked him, but it wasn’t there, you know?” she said quietly, still feeling sad about it.

             
Tate looked sympathetic and nodded. “I know exactly what you mean. I date a girl and think she’s perfect. She’s everything I want but my heart disagrees.”

             
Jane looked up at Tate, her mouth opening as a wave of powerful longing swept over her. Her eyes connected with his and in that moment all the yearning and love for him that she’d been holding back filled her heart and she had to force herself to not leap over the display case and beg him to love her.

             
Tate stared intently into her eyes for a moment and then closed his own tightly as if he couldn’t bear to look at her anymore. Jane sighed and looked away, flicking her wrist with the rubber band again.

             
“Mandee can ring you up,” she said quietly and carried his pie over to the cash register. She grabbed her brownie and walked out of the store and into the kitchen. She picked up her sandwich and water and headed outside into their backyard. She went to her favorite spot and sat down under the large maple tree. Bubba, Layla’s Basset hound came over immediately and flopped down beside her, looking at her with woeful pleading eyes.

             
Jane smiled a little and tore off a piece of bacon, throwing it to the dog and was rewarded with a yowling sound of happiness. “Bacon. The key to happiness,” she said wryly and ate her lunch. She tried desperately to not think about Tate and that one moment when she could have sworn she’d seen something dark and yearning in his eyes before it had disappeared. She was probably just seeing what she wanted to see though. She wondered if covering both arms from wrist to shoulder with rubber bands would cure her. She was so desperate she’d try anything at this point.

             
The rest of the day passed by quickly. Stella came promptly at four and she spent a fun two hours making cinnamon rolls with her niece. They packed up a plate for her to take home and when Carrie and Nathanial, Michael’s parent’s came to pick her up, Jane wanted to beg them to let her stay.

             
Stella wrapped her arms around Jane’s neck and squeezed tightly. “I want to bake with you every day Jane,” Stella said kissing her on the cheek sweetly.

             
Jane grinned and lifted Stella up into her arms before passing her over to Carrie. “I would love that. Come see me anytime.”

             
Carrie smiled at Jane and kissed her granddaughter’s cheek. “She loves being here with you. I think she’d live here if she could,” she said laughing at Stella’s expression of excitement.

             
“Can I Grandma?
Please!
”

             
Jane laughed and shook her head. “I wish you could honey, but you know your mom and dad just bought a new house down by the park. You’re going to love it,” she said, knowing Stella would.

             
Stella pouted for a moment but then smiled. “I already met two girls. They live next door and they go to my school.”

             
Jane waved goodbye a moment later and watched as Kit locked up. “Can you believe we’re aunts Jane? And I bet you a million dollars, Michael and Layla give us a new little niece or nephew very soon,” she said, her eyes soft and happy.

             
Jane sat down in one of their chairs and kicked her feet up. “I think you’re right. And then you’ll be married before you know it and it will be
you
giving me a new niece or nephew,” she said laughing in delight at Kit’s glowing face.

             
Kit sat down and smiled across the table at her sister. “Hunter and I do want children. I can’t wait. Isn’t that weird? I’ve never been a real maternal person, but the idea of holding a little baby in my arms makes me go all soft and mushy inside.”

             
Jane sighed happily and shook her head. “You two will have gorgeous babies. And on top of that they’ll probably be geniuses. Your gene pool is so incredible it’s unfair to the rest of the world.”

             
Kit closed her eyes at the picture in her head and smiled sweetly. When she opened her eyes and stared at her sister though, she frowned a little.

             
“As long as they’re healthy and they have Hunter’s eyes I’ll be more than happy. Now Jane, there’s been so many changes lately, I’ve been wanting to talk to you. I want to know if you’re okay with everything. I mean, Layla’s married now and will be moving to her new home when she gets back. She’ll still be working with us of course, but she won’t
be
here anymore. And pretty soon I’ll be married and I’ll be moving out to Vashon Island with Hunter. I worry about you being here all by yourself,” she said with a frown.