My Wolf's Bane (39 page)

Zack stormed past me and out the front door. I had to sprint to keep up with his long strides.
You think, for once, you can leave my mother out of your mischief
?

“It’s not my fault you were being mean where your mom could hear. And by the way, our fifteen minutes doesn’t start until we’re inside my house.” I followed him down the street, a smug smile stretched over my face.

I unlocked my front door and he pushed past me. Rude.

He had the nerve to check the time on his cell. “Clock’s ticking. Let’s get this over with, huh?”

“Time out, Zack. You promised you’d be patient and respectful.” I folded my arms over my chest.

He covered his face with his hands and took measured breaths. He stood taller and rolled his shoulders. “Okay. I get the point. Talk.”

I sat on the couch, bringing my knee up, and swiveled to face him. “When Daniel and I got together, it was easy because he was a safe bet.”

“Daniel?
Safe
?” He gave a sarcastic laugh.

“He was popular, which gave me security. And I knew he liked me. Since I wasn’t crazy in love with him, the risk was minimal. Safe.” I glanced at my knees and noticed my old, faded T-shirt and ratty sweats. It didn’t do much to bolster my confidence, but I’d come too far to stop now. “But I don’t want safe anymore. Not if it means losing a piece of myself. If I want something, I’m going to stand up and fight for it. And so should you.”

He sighed, his eyes drifting lazily around the room.

I forged ahead, determined to break down his resistance. “I got to thinking. I couldn’t figure out how you could do everything you’ve done and not want me enough to be with me. You went all-out with the Mustang. You could’ve let me go on and on searching endlessly, but you jumped in, found me the perfect car and made the deal for me.”

Zack rolled his eyes. “It’s called a job. You were paying me.”

“Quiet. I’m not done yet.” I waved an index finger at him. “You protected me over and over again from Daniel, had me for dinner at your house, double dated with me when you didn’t have to, watched over me in the woods when you were a wolf, helped me figure out who and what I was, told me everything you knew about our kind.” I took a moment to breathe, softening my voice. “You kissed me, touched me. You did all these things like you really cared about me.”

“Autumn—”

“Shhh. I’m not done and my fifteen minutes aren’t up. I get an extra minute, by the way, because you keep interrupting. Add another minute because you’re being impatient.” I raised one brow.

He growled.

“As I was saying, all these things were going through my head while I tried to figure out how anyone could do all that and not care deeply about the person. I kept buying into your explanations, but they never completely sat right with me. Then it hit me.” I smiled. “The answer is so simple. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out before.” I paused a moment to let it sink in. “The answer is… it’s
not
possible. That’s the answer.”

“What?” He looked baffled.

“It’s
not
possible. You can’t do all that and not want me.”

He blew out his breath. “That’s what this is all about? A guy would have to be dead not to be attracted to you. That’s all there is to it.”

“And I understand that. But you’re trying to convince me that you only like me as a friend. That I don’t mean any more to you than Ashley or Maya. But I know your feelings run deeper than that. I know this like I know your kiss, the color of your eyes and hair. Denying it doesn’t change what I know. It’d be nice, though, if you admitted it.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “Keep talking. Three minutes left.”

“You think it’s easier if you leave and pretend you never felt anything and I’ll get over it. You think you’re protecting me, protecting yourself and you’re saving us both a lot of pain. But it’s not easier. Sometimes easier isn’t easier.”

“Don’t go into philosophy.” He smirked. “No one would understand you.”

“You know what I mean. It’s like when you don’t want to do your homework. You think it’s easier not to do it. But later, when you get grounded for getting an F, it’s so much harder and you wish you’d taken the time when you had the chance.”

“How does that have anything to do with us?” He moaned and sat at the other end of the couch.

“I’m getting there.” I got up to pace. “You think you’re doing me this huge favor by pushing me away. You think it’s honorable, but it’s actually stupid. According to you, the plan is to walk away in the end, go our separate ways. And you
know
that’s going to hurt. Your rejections have hurt me more than anything else you could ever do.” I stopped in front of Zack as he absorbed that, his face softening. “And it hurts you too. I know it does. So what if we’re together, then we have to split up because one of us has to run? Okay. We knew it could happen. Separating is a risk in any relationship. But for the next few weeks, we can live every possible moment like it’s all we’ve got.”

“It’s too dangerous, Autumn. It’s not safe for you to be around me. What if the scouts realize what you are?” He stood up and we were toe to toe. “Don’t you see? Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for
you
.”

That was probably as close to an admission as I was going to get. It was good enough for me. I laid a palm on his cheek. “You would have left me believing that you didn’t care enough. It’s unthinkable.” I sniffed as a tear escaped, remembering one of his lectures. “You have to do what’s right, even if you’re afraid of the consequences. Otherwise, life isn’t worth living.”

He hung his head and sighed. “You’re impossible.”

What did
that
mean? After all my effort, would he still blow me off? How much of the last three minutes did I have left?

“You have no idea how exhausting it’s been.” He looked into my eyes. “I tried to hate you when we met and I was doing pretty good until you wore that damned purple dress.”

I grinned. Zack was finally mine. And he knew it. I leaned in and snaked my arms around his neck.

“Autumn.” He held my shoulders, like he was about to push me away. “This doesn’t change anything. I’ll still be leaving in a few weeks and you won’t be able to come with me.”

“Then we don’t have much together. We’d better make it count.”

“This is crazy.” He snagged my waist and pulled me closer. “It’s stupid to risk your life that way.”

“Haven’t you listened to anything I said?”

“Shhh.” He laid an index finger across my lips. “I heard you, but I need to make sure you’ve considered everything.”

“I want to be with you.” I turned his hand toward me, then dropped a kiss in his palm.

He rested his forehead against mine, then squeezed me tighter and buried his face in my hair. “You just couldn’t give up on me, could you?” he whispered.

“No.” I savored being this close to him. “Believe me, I tried.”

He drew back slowly. “We can’t afford to get weaker. I can’t risk your life by putting myself in a position where I’m incapable of protecting you.”

Zack, thinking of me first, as he always had. “We’ve kissed before and it didn’t affect our powers,” I reminded him. “We can do all of that we want.”

He smiled, a dimple appearing, eyes lighting up. “I can live with unlimited kissing.”

So could I. When I rose up on the tip of my toes to get started, he held me back.

“One question,” he said.

“Zack, I know I forced you to talk to me, but no more talking now, okay?”

“I’ll be quick.” He laughed deeply, his firm abdomen moving against mine. That made me want him more. “Do you still want to wear that dress you have wrapped up in your closet?”

“You mean…” My eyes narrowed.

“Would you go to prom with me? As my girlfriend. Officially.”

Now
that
was worth the interruption. I beamed. “Yeah. Now, don’t open your mouth again, unless it’s to kiss me.”

Holding his grip on me, he backed up and we tumbled to the couch, me on top.

“Easy,” he warned. “I’ve already used up my resistance against you.” Entwining my legs with his, he turned us and maneuvered our bodies so I lay sandwiched between him and the back of the couch. “There. Now you can’t get away.”

Like I wanted to. I was about to tell him to zip it when his warm, soft lips covered mine. Yeah, that was what I’d been waiting for. Only this time, I wasn’t worried he’d leave me. I melted against him as his hands grasped my hips and he pulled me closer. Hot tendrils of sweet sensation spread through me as I snaked my hand under his shirt. I wanted him with a yearning like nothing I’d ever felt before. All of him.

I wished this perfect moment, this perfect kiss could last forever. But we needed to stay strong. I had to resist. I could do it. I
would
do it.

My head buzzed with questions and worries. Like what was Zack going to do about Charles? Could he really survive on his own without a pack? Were my parents shape-shifters or had I been adopted? I wasn’t going to get any answers just yet, but right then, I didn’t care. I locked away those mysteries in a corner of my mind for later. For now, Zack was finally
mine
. And I would find a way to keep him.

THE END

Look for more of Zack and Autumn in
Wolves at the Door
releasing summer of 2013

In the meantime, turn the page for peeks of other books by Veronica Blade.

I cut my Young Adult teeth on
My Wolf’s Bane
and, actually, wrote it before
Something Witchy This Way Comes
and
A Bite’s Tale
. It’s my favorite of all my titles — maybe because it was my first YA and a big step toward accomplishing my dream. Or maybe it’s because I fell in love with Zack! : ) Whatever the reason (or combination thereof), it’s been an amazing journey with too many revisions to count and a never-ending supply of frustration in order to perfect this baby.

I’d like to thank my sister-in-law Allie who inspired me to write
My Wolf’s Bane
; Susan Hatler who is the greatest critique partner ever; Katie McGarry for her encouragement and sweet words; my cousin Danette for her valuable insight; Suzanne Lazear for her fantastic feedback; Erica for her moral support; Niki for making me laugh; fellow authors Sarah Billington, Robin Haseltine, Carol Braswell, Becky Lees, Lynn Marshall, Lea Nolan, Felice Fox, and PR Mason for all their wonderful suggestions; proof readers Starla LeBarron and Samantha Gaudreault for making me look good; beta readers Samantha H, Mandy, Mary, Calyn, Sausha, Jen B, Karie, Jyl B, Kat, Hayly, Athena, Celine, Norma, Lee, Courtney, Juli, Jen W and many others whose enthusiasm for my work keeps me believing in my writing.

And a heap of gratitude to my special peeps (you know what you do and it means everything to me) Megan D, Julie W, Ashley D, April P — you gals rock! And a huge hug goes out to Kat who keeps my head on straight during the crazy times.

A warm and fuzzy thank you to my mom who reads my very scary first drafts, Sara E who is ALWAYS there for me; a very special nod to Rose Nomura for her FABULOUS cover design!!! Lastly, my wonderful husband who exercises superhuman patience when I’m working frantically to meet a deadline and forget he exists. Baby, you’re the best in all the land!