My Wolf's Bane (38 page)

I made some popcorn, soaked it in salt and hot butter, then flopped onto the sofa and started the first movie.

† † †

When I awoke hours later, I was still on the couch. I felt stiff from tossing and turning all night. What time was it? I fumbled for my cell and saw it was after four. All that time trying to escape thoughts of Zack and here I was again. What would I do to keep my mind off him now? I dashed up the stairs to my room, threw on some sweats and flew out the door. If I ran now, I could be back before the sun came up and maybe I could stay home tonight when I’d be more likely to run into Zack.

I’d missed my runs. It was nice to know I could live without them, but I was grateful to be free again. Morphing into a cheetah, I ran as fast as my long, furry legs could carry me.

When I returned home, I was just as emotional, but physically, I was less sluggish from my Zack hangover.

I killed the rest of the extra time getting ready. Since hitting new lows on the depression scale, it was more important than ever to do everything possible to feel better about myself. I wore a sundress and sandals, then took the time to curl my hair.

Sailing into the school lot, I realized by the lack of cars it was still too early. If I stayed, I’d see Zack arrive and perhaps
accidentally
run into him. On the other hand, not seeing Zack was the quickest way to get over him. Plus, I’d feel less pathetic.

Despite knowing I must avoid him to get over him, I scanned the lot one more time for the red Jeep. Disgusted with myself, I got out of the Mustang and saw the red Jeep drive into the lot. I leaned into my car pretending to dig into my backpack.

“Autumn!” Maya shouted. She stuck her head out of Zack’s Jeep window and waved to me.

I waited for them to park. As far away as she was, I could still hear what she said to Trevor.

“I’m going to talk to Autumn. I’ll see you in a couple minutes.”

He nodded and said something to Zack, but I didn’t listen in.

“Hey.” She sprinted to me, a little out of breath. “Did you hear about Daniel?”

I shook my head innocently. “No.”

“You’re not going to believe this. Apparently, he ran away over the weekend with his new love. He’s gone.”

“Ran away? Why couldn’t he stay here with this mystery girl?” A strange story, but not final enough to warrant a permanent disappearance. I waited for the rest of it.

Maya’s eyes widened. She looked like she was bursting with fascinating news. “Not a
girl
.”

“What?” My mouth gaped. “An older woman?”

“He met a
dude
. Supposedly, it’s the same guy he’d met when Jeff said he’d been dragged away by a wolf. Can you believe it?”

Actually, I could, except for the
love
part. I knew the male lover bit wasn’t Daniel’s idea. He most definitely liked girls. William must have thought it an amusing penalty for disobeying and humiliating him.

It was perfect.

“You know what homophobes his parents are,” Maya went on. “They’re so pompous about their money and knowing all the right people. Their reputation is more important than their own son. As soon as Daniel came out, they disowned him.”

“Wow. That sucks for Daniel,” I said. It was a brilliant plan since being disowned cut all ties, which would make life as a werewolf easier.

Maya giggled. “I guess we don’t have to worry about him stalking you anymore.”

Zack passed by, giving me a nod. I smiled, hoping it appeared genuine. It was the best I could manage.

“C’mon.” Maya motioned for me to go with her and the boys.  

“I’ll see you at lunch. I have something I need to do.” Like hide my head in the sand, so I couldn’t do something pathetic like throw myself at Zack.

I made a beeline to the bathroom. As soon as the door swung shut, it opened again. Gina waltzed in, eyeing me coldly.

“You think you’ve won, don’t you?”

“Uh, I didn’t know there was a contest,” I said. “And it’s not like Daniel left you for
me
.”

She gave a forced laugh.

“And besides,” I rifled through my purse for my lipstick. “Zack and I aren’t together anymore.” I glanced at her briefly to see her eyes shooting daggers at me.

“You’re such a liar. You’ll do and say anything to hurt me and get what you want.” Apparently, she was almost as delusional as Daniel.

I applied the lip color, then rubbed my lips together as Gina’s face flushed and her eyes hardened. If she’d approached me without the attitude, I would’ve smiled and went about my business. “You might get my leftovers if you act quickly.” Dropping my makeup in my purse, I pushed past her.

It was masochistic of me to paint a bull’s-eye on Zack, when there was a chance he might go for it. If he hooked up with her though, I’d lose respect for him and getting over him might be easier. If it went the other way, witnessing him reject her was worth the risk and would make my day slightly less dreary. It was a win-win situation.

At lunch, I waved at Zack’s table from where I sat with John and Janine. Maya had tried to talk me into hanging with her and the boys, but Zack had come to my rescue, telling her it was healthy to socialize with other people now and then. Apparently, no one noticed Zack and I weren’t together. Or maybe he’d already told them something. I was dying to know.

Where did you sleep last night
? I asked Zack from across the room.

He smiled.
At home. Where else
?

But I thought you were supposed to be at my house
, I said, focusing on my lunch.

Everyone had to
think
I was with you. I left and later snuck back into my room through the window
.

Clever.
I took a bite of my grilled cheese sandwich, grateful that with silent communication, I didn’t have to worry about talking with my mouth full.
What did you tell Maya about us
?
I’m wondering why she’s not interrogating me
.

I told her you missed your other friends. She was so wrapped up in the whole Daniel thing, she moved on
.

Why not tell her the truth
? I asked.
That we’re not together.

I wasn’t sure if you’d want to deal with that yet
. Good old Zack — always thinking of me. I wished he’d stop that. He made it so difficult to hate him.

Well, thanks
. I returned to my meal, but saw Gina approach him in my peripheral vision. Maya didn’t even notice, too engrossed in Trevor.

I told myself not to listen in on Gina and Zack. But, unable to resist, I peeked at them from under my lashes and tuned out everyone else in the lunchroom.

“Hi, Zack.”

“Hey, Gina.” He gave her a friendly smile.

“I wondered if you wanted to go for coffee after school. We haven’t been working on our science project and it’s due soon.”

“Can’t today. I have a shift at the auto shop.”

“What about Friday night? We could hit a movie after.”

Zack turned away, frowning. “Well, I got to thinking. We should stick to working on it here after school. Except for our mandatory school project, I don’t want to associate with someone who betrayed her best friend by sleeping with her boyfriend.”

Gina’s mouth dropped open and her face turned bright red.

Zack took a bite of his burger and ignored her.

Ouch.

Through my guilt, I couldn’t help gloating. But damn him. Now he was even more appealing than before — if that was even possible. I’d never get over him.

Ever.

† † †

Later that afternoon, I zipped upstairs to my room to change into some ratty, old sweats and a faded T-shirt from eighth grade. To take my mind off Zack, I buried my brain in homework. But I finished too quickly and was alone again with my thoughts.

The dead silence made me miss my parents horribly. I’d emailed them on Saturday and needed to send another one soon. But I didn’t feel like it. The depression hung over me like a heavy mist, strangling me.

Why didn’t Zack like me
enough
to run away with? Or at least be with me for what little time we had. What was wrong with me? Fighting for my life with Daniel was almost easier, because at least then, I stood a chance. A tangible evil could be fought. How someone feels about you couldn’t be changed.

But his feelings didn’t fit with his actions. He’d gone above and beyond, even told Daniel he’d have to kill him to get to me.

Minutes passed as I stared at the television I hadn’t yet turned on.

Why would Zack do so much for me if he didn’t feel anymore for me than he did for Maya or Ashley? How was it possible?

Wait.

Air whooshed out of my chest as the clouds in my mind parted and the sun shone.

Why hadn’t I seen it before?

I snatched my keys from the dining room table, left the house and locked the door behind me. I sprinted down the block and knocked on Zack’s door.

Trevor answered, looking surprised to see me. “Oh. What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been around almost every day for the last week and you act like it’s strange for me to be here?” I raised my brows.

Trevor blinked. “He’s been so crabby, I thought you two broke up.”

That was impossible since we were never together in the first place. But Trevor didn’t know that. “We wouldn’t be the first couple in history to have a disagreement. But I have some ideas how to fix it.”

Trevor grinned. “Good. He’s more fun when you guys are getting along.”

“Is he here?” I peeked past Trevor’s shoulder.

“Yeah. He’s in his room.” Trevor swung the door open for me.

I headed to Zack’s room, but he met me in the hallway.

“Autumn, what are you doing here?” He spotted Trevor and waved him away.

“I need to discuss something with you. Alone.”

“What? Why?” He leaned against a wall, fidgeting.

“I want to talk to you about
us
,” I whispered.

He inhaled deeply. “I don’t want to go through it again.”

I blinked. “You mean you won’t even give me five minutes? Really?”

He shook his head, avoiding my gaze. Crap. What would I do now?

“Zack,” his mother wheezed from the doorway of her room. Apparently, we’d been too quiet for Trevor to hear from the living room, but Favianne was just off the hallway where we were standing. “What’s going on?” she asked.

Maybe her overhearing us wasn’t so bad. Zack’s mom liked me and wanted me with him. She’d help me if I played my cards right. “Zack’s trying to dump me. I’m trying to work things out with him, but he won’t even talk to me.”

Stop this, Autumn. Let it go
, he screamed into my head.

What are you going to do if I don’t? Dump me
?

He glared, resembling an overheated steam engine.

“Is that true, Zack? Autumn wants to work things out and you’re refusing to talk?” Favianne closed her eyes and leaned against the doorway.

I became aware of her heart thudding, her lungs crackling. It must’ve been difficult getting out of bed, which made me feel guilty for making a scene.

“What did she do that was so bad you can’t give her a few minutes?”

“Yeah, Zack. What did I do that was so bad?”

Zack clenched his fists. “Mom, you should be in bed. Let me help.” He reached for her.

She swatted his hands away and breathed in again. “Zack, I raised you better than this. I can’t tell you who to date. But I
am
asking that you go someplace where you can talk privately and give her fifteen minutes. And both of you,” she glanced from him to me, “need to
explain
yourselves better. Be patient and respectful. Promise me you’ll give her a chance, Zack.”

“Okay, I promise. Let’s get you back to bed.” He picked her up and carried her back into her room, while I waited in the hallway.

I will never forgive you for this, Autumn
.