Mystic Flame (Beyond Ontariese 4) (16 page)

Unclasping her hands, she grasped his hips
and prevented his retreat. She needed this even more than he did.
Needed to feel him tremble and know she was capable of snapping his
control. His shaft caressed her lips as she stubbornly drew upon
him.

His back arched and his eyes closed as an
orgasm raced toward him. He buried his fingers in her hair and
cried out sharply, pushing deep into her mouth. She sucked and
swallowed, savoring the salty-sharp taste of his release.

He pulled out of her mouth and drew her up
along his body, frantically claiming her mouth. His tongue moved
boldly and his lips clung as emotions flowed freely across their
connection. He loved that she enjoyed pleasuring him as much as he
enjoyed pleasuring her, and the taste of his seed on her tongue
unleashed primal instincts.

Mine
. He whispered the claim in her
mind without releasing her lips.

She tore her mouth away and shook her head.
“I won’t be owned by anyone.” A lifetime of bitterness rushed
through her mind, reinforcing her resolve. “I won’t become my
mother.”

Still breathing harshly, he refused to turn
her loose, but his hold on her eased. “That’s not what I meant. I
don’t want to own you, but you are my mate.”

She twisted within his arms and turned her
face away. “It’s not possible. Even if you weren’t a Master-level
Mage, you’re from one of the six great houses.”

“Which makes me unworthy of your love?” He
sounded incredulous. “Has your commander really tainted your
thinking so badly you—”

“This has nothing to do with Trey.”

“I know he hates Mystics. His resentment is
clear for all to see.”

She tried one last time to break free of his
embrace, but it was obvious he wasn’t going to let her go. Finally
she sighed and looked at him. “I’m not the kind of woman a man like
you would choose for a life mate. It’s cruel to pretend you would…
I know what I am.”

Evan stared down into her tear-bright eyes
confused and sorrowful. “What do you think I want from you?”

“A social alliance.” She stubbornly blinked
back her tears. “A temporary agreement so we can both work this out
of our systems.”

“And why do you believe that is all I could
ever want from you?”

Her shoulders drooped and shadows filled her
gaze. “Do you need to hear it? Fine, I’ll say it. You’re elite. You
have access to the highest levels of society.”

“Yet you’re the one who walked into Director
dar Aune’s office without an appointment.”

She glanced at him then lowered her eyes
again. “It’s not the same and you know it. I’m Trey’s pet project,
nothing more.”

The wistfulness in her tone dragged a
question to the surface that he’d promised himself he’d never ask.
“But you wanted him to be more?”

With a sharp lunge she broke free from his
grasp and rushed for the bedroom. He teleported to the bed and
smiled as she slammed and locked the door. She blew out a shaky
sigh then turned around and screamed.

“You asshole! You scared the shit out of
me.” If she hadn’t been so angry, she would have noticed that his
arrival triggered the overhead lights.

“Answer the question. Are you in love with
Trey dar Aune? Is that why you hold yourself back from me?”

She glared at him. “Did it feel like I was
holding back a few minutes ago?”

He scooted back against the headboard and
crossed his legs at the ankle. “Come here.”

“No. I came in here for a reason. I don’t
want to talk about this.”

“Then don’t talk. Listen.” He held out his
hand, struggling to keep his gaze on her face. She was naked and
flushed and he wanted to wrestle her beneath him and burry his cock
in her warmth.

She snatched a fringed throw off the chair
by the window then sat on the bottom corner of the bed, covering
herself with the small blanket.

Stubborn to the end. He fought back a smile,
knowing it would only make her more prickly. “Finding out you
believed I was a coward was the most painful thing I’ve ever
endured.”

“But I—”

He cut her off with an upraised hand. “I’m
not looking for another apology. I understand why you pushed me
away. Now I want to explain why it hurt me so badly.” He waited
until she nodded to proceed. “My father died when I was twelve and
my mother was devastated. Her family is rich and powerful and has
been since before the Great Conflict. Her mother insisted Father
was beneath her and demanded she choose another, but my mother
loved my father and wanted no one else.”

“Love matches are extremely rare among the
great houses.”

“I know, and as a child it made me feel
special to know my parents genuinely loved each other.”

“How did he die?”

“My maternal grandparents bought him a
commandership. They felt he needed to prove himself worthy of their
daughter and the military offered the most opportunities. Besides,
my grandfather was a war hero. He was awarded every metal you can
imagine during the Great Conflict.”

She fiddled with the fringe on the blanket,
one knee peeking out from beneath the edge. “Did your father want
to be a soldier or did he do it to please his in-laws?”

“A bit of both. He had an aptitude for
teaching. Cadets liked him and learned quickly under his guidance,
but he knew my grandfather expected feats of bravery, not
intellectual challenges.”

“Did he die in battle? Surely your
grandfather would have considered that brave.”

Evan swallowed past the lump in his throat
as he struggled for the right words. “He put in for a transfer that
took him into battle. His first mission was a disaster and he
realized he was in over his head. Rather than admit defeat, he
accepted another mission, but in the middle of the fighting he
panicked.”

Her eyes widened and she raised her hand to
her mouth. “Did he…”

“Yes. He ran. He deserted his men to a
slaughter as he tried to save his own life.” Pain lanced through
him, the dark sucking anguish he had worked countless cycles to
tame. His heart beat so fast he could hear the frantic rhythm in
his ears and the story was far from over. “The Rodytes captured him
before he could get away. They tortured and mutilated him, then
dumped his broken body in a public square with the word ‘coward’
carved into his chest.”

Dro Tar crawled across the bed and straddled
his lap, blanket forgotten. “I am so sorry.” She pressed her warm
palms against his cheeks and stared into his eyes. “I had no
idea.”

He turned his head and kissed the center of
her palm, needing a momentary break from the pity he saw in her
eyes. Pity was a natural reaction to a tragic story, but it wasn’t
what he wanted her to feel. “My grandparents were horrible.”
Slowly, he dragged his gaze back to hers and willed his heart back
into a steady rhythm. “Rather than comfort their devastated
daughter, they insisted they’d tried to warn her. My father was
worthless and she’d brought it on herself by disobeying them.”

“You were twelve when all this happened?”
She slid her hands down to his shoulders and sat back on his
thighs.

“I tried to comfort her, but I was grieving
too. If I hadn’t exhibited Mystic potential, I’m not sure what I
would have done. I was invited to the Choosing a few weeks later
and my life at the Conservatory began.”

“Was your mother left alone with her
parents? What happened to your sisters?”

“My mother refused to move back in with her
parents. Focusing on being a good mother to my sisters helped her
heal. A few cycles later she accepted a social alliance with an old
friend. Their relationship is different than the love she shared
with her life mate, but she seems content.”

“I’m glad. No one deserves—”

“There is one more thing you need to know.
When my mother heard your account of my actions, she was tormented
all over again. Her parents insisted that my father’s blood had
finally surfaced in me and she shouldn’t be surprised by my
cowardice.”

“Oh gods, I’m sorry.” She pressed her lips
together and frantically blinked back tears. “I don’t know what
else to say.”

“I’m not telling you this to make you feel
guilty. The last thing I want is your pity. I just need you to
understand why I was so angry and why I couldn’t let it go.” The
tightness in his chest gradually lessened. She knew the entire
truth now.

“But you can let go now? We’ve had no
contact for fifteen cycles. What changed?”

She sounded hopeless and that hadn’t been
his intention when he decided to trust her with this story. “You
refused to see me. I tried multiple times to contact you.”

“I didn’t know about the other ship,” she
cried, crossing her arms over her breasts.

“At first I thought you were just angry, but
when my messages kept being declined I figured you wanted a clean
break. Seeing me would remind you of the tragedy and the last thing
I wanted was to cause you more pain.”

“That wasn’t why I wouldn’t see you.”

“Then why?” Unwilling to deny himself the
softness of her skin a moment longer, he lightly rested his hands
on her hips.

“I was in a social alliance with Bron.”

He nodded. “You already told me.”

“I cheated on him when I fell for you. Sex
was part of the job, but loving you…” She tried to roll away, but
he held her in place.

“Say it again.”

“I cheated on Bron.”

He reached back and pinched her ass. “Tell
me you love me.”

“No.” Her chin came up in an all too common
show of rebellion. “I might have loved you then, but I can’t love
you now.”

“You said
can’t
not
don’t
. Why
can’t you love me?”

She stared at him in mutinous silence, but
his heart began to soar. She loved him. She might not be ready to
admit the fact, but it was clearly written in her eyes.

“You didn’t set out to betray Bron.” They
had to put this in the past once and for all. Guilt was obviously
what anchored the events in her memory. But why did she still feel
guilty? “Even after our attraction flared you did everything you
could so it wouldn’t turn physical. We just ran out of
excuses.”

She shook her head and lowered her voice to
a miserable whisper. “I gave you my heart long before I gave you my
body. Cheaters never change. My mother was proof of that.”

Her mother was a worthless whore who… No,
that wasn’t fair. Her mother compounded tragic circumstances with
bad decisions. That didn’t make her life any less tragic. “You’re
not your mother.”

She was so mired in the past that she didn’t
seem to hear him. “You deserve someone who won’t fall for the first
pretty face she comes across.”

“You think I’m pretty?” A chuckle slipped
out and she glared at him.

“I’m serious. My mother swore she would stay
true to every man she—”

“You are
not
your mother.” He hadn’t
meant to raise his voice, but he had to interrupt her downward
spiral. He cupped her chin and raised her face until she looked
into his eyes. “How many lovers have you had in the past fifteen
cycles?”

After a silent pause, she said, “Three.”

“Did you cheat on any of them?”

“No.”

“Then I’ll risk it. If we had met under
different circumstances, I know you would not have broken your vow
to Bron to be with me. The fact that it still bothers you proves
that you don’t have the heart of a cheater.”

He brushed his thumb over her lips until she
smiled then he leaned down and kissed her. It was a slow, soothing
kiss, almost chaste compared to their usual exchanges.

“You’re brilliant, creative, unique, and
compassionate.” He accented each adjective with another kiss.

“I wasn’t fishing for compliments, but thank
you.” Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

She still seemed reserved and he didn’t
understand why. “Are you in love with Trey?”

She nipped his thumb—hard. “I can’t believe
you’re jealous of Trey. I was never in love with him. He was kind
to me. He understood and protected me. There has never been
anything sexual between us. I told you that already.”

He slid his hands up her sides, brushing the
swell of her breasts with his thumbs. “You expect me to believe you
thought of him as a big brother?” He laughed. “I’ve seen the man
and I know you better than that.”

Her nipples tightened as she squirmed
beneath his teasing touch. “Ok, so I found him attractive. What
straight female wouldn’t? It didn’t take long to realize the things
I found appealing in Trey—he’s confident, strong, incredibly
controlled, and yet he’s still remarkably gentle. All of those
things reminded me of you.”

He searched her gaze, trying to determine if
she meant it or if she was just telling him what he wanted to hear.
The link he’d created was still active which disrupted his empathic
receptors. All he had to do was scan her mind and he’d know exactly
what she felt. But he was trying to build trust, not interrogate
her.

“Besides, Trey never looked at me with
desire in his eyes, not even once. He is head over heels in love
with his wife, so there is nothing to worry about.”

He stilled and returned his hand to her hip.
“Then why can’t you love me?”

Malos centered his weight on the balls of
his feet and drew energy into his mental shields. Master Hesuto was
good, but Malos was better. Years of unconventional training had
prepared him for this day. He flooded his mind with memories and
experiences, cluttering his neuro pathways, blocking Hesuto’s
efforts to separate specific information.

The interrogation room was small and heavily
shielded. As if the containment collar wasn’t enough. The three
cables attached to the collar had been stretched to their limits
and attached to stout anchors on the walls. The “precaution” kept
him standing, barely able to move. His hands were bound in front of
his body and Hesuto hadn’t spoken since he entered the room at
least four hours before.