Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List
Rachel
Cohn
and David
Levithan
This edition first published in 2008
First published in 2007 in the USA by Alfred A. Knopf
Copyright © David Levithan and Rachel Cohn, 2007
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The
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National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:
Cohn, Rachel.
Naomi and Ely’s no kiss list / Rachel Cohn; David Levithan.
ISBN: 9781741754865 (pbk.)
Subjects: Interpersonal relations — Fiction.
Homosexuality — Fiction.
Dating (Social customs) — Fiction.
New York (N.Y.) — Fiction.
Cover design by Sandra Nobes
Printed in Australia by McPhersons Printing Group
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
To Nancy the First
Thanks to our friends, family, and teen author crew, as always. For this book, specific thanks to Anna, Martha, Nick, Patty, Robin, all the kind folks at Knopf (with a special shoutout to Nancy, Allison, and Noreen), and the fine people at William Morris (particularly Alicia and Jennifer). And thank you to the fans who write to us; you always make our day.
CONTENTS
I lie all the time.
I lied to Mrs. Loy from the fourteenth floor when I assured her that I walked her dog three times a day and watered her plants while she went to Atlantic City to win the money for her son’s sad operation (or for her own elective plastic surgery— I’m not sure).
I lied to the co-op board of my family’s apartment building about my mom’s episode that left our living room wall in partial collapse soon after Dad left. I also backed up Mom’s lies to the board that we’d pay for the damage. Monkeys will fly outta my butt before we’ll be able to come up with the money to fix the fallout. The way I figure, if Mom and I aren’t bothered by living in ruins, why should the co-op board care?
I lied to the NYU Admissions Committee that I care about my future and my education. I’m barely a year out of high school, and already I know this NYU deal is a losing proposition. I live out the college freshman lie to hold on to the only thing in my life that’s not in ruins—Ely.
I lied to Robin
from psych class when I assured her that Robin
from that time at the Starbucks at Eighth and University
her and will call her. There’s no $$$ for me to move into the school dorms, and Robin’s a sophomore with a rare single who goes home on the weekends and lets me use her place when I need to escape The Building. The apartment building where I’ve lived my whole life may be situated on prime Greenwich Village real estate, but escape from it is my prime priority: escape from parent drama or my lies or Mr. McAllister, the creepy up-and-down elevator man who lives down the hall from Mrs. Loy and who’s been ogling me since I was thirteen and my breasts first announced themselves in the elevator mirror.
I’ve lied to Mom every time I’ve told her I’ve stayed the night at Robin’s when really I’ve stayed over at my boyfriend’s dorm room. I lie to myself that I need to lie about my whereabouts. It’s not like Bruce the Second and I are doing it. We’re more about a
in bed, then turn out the light, and
—just sleep—’til he leaves in the morning for his
accounting class. I lie to him that I think accounting is a worthwhile subject to study.