Nasty Bastard (Grim Bastards MC Book 4) (10 page)

Fuck! My hand goes to my scar as I try to think of the right thing to say. “Yeah, I have. Now, I know that when I want something, I need to fight for it and never let it go.”

Gidget

Now, I know that when I want something, I need to fight for it and never let it go.

His words replay in my head over and over again, but they make no sense to me. I can’t even lie to myself and pretend that I don’t know he’s talking about me. Still, I don’t understand. He didn’t let me go. He forced me out the door. He never gave me a choice. If he had, I would’ve chosen to work my way through school. I’d have had him by my side, like we had planned.

I tried a few times after that day to talk to him, but no one would let me in the clubhouse. Everyone I talked to told me I had no business there. After high school graduation, I finally gave up and headed off to college.

He was done with me; there was nothing else I could do. So I moved on with my life, and a couple of years into school, I met Richard. We dated, and after I got my degree, we got married. A few years later, we had Parker, which to be honest, is the best thing to come out of that marriage.

“I have no damn idea what you’re talking about. You obviously didn’t want me, or you wouldn’t have been in such a rush to get away from me just minutes after you took my virginity,” I say, as anger replaces the pain in my body. “You got what you wanted from me, and then you were done.”

He looks at me for a second but doesn’t say a word, so I go on. “Don’t pretend that isn’t what happened. You may not remember it, but it’s clear in my mind. I’ll never forget how I felt that day, how you broke my heart.”

“Tell me what you remember about the guys with Torch, what they wore and shit,” he says, as he walks across the room and sits down, completely flipping the subject. “Anything you remember at all.”

“What?” I ask, my head spinning at the quick change.

“Right now, I have to make sure you and Parker are safe. That’s my first priority.” He scoots close to the bed and grabs my hand. “After I deal with Torch and this shit, we’ll talk about how bad I fucked up that day and how much I fucking regret it. Right now, though, I need to stay focused on keeping you two safe.”

Hearing him say my son’s name causes my anger to recede a bit. He’s right; nothing else matters but making sure Parker is safe. Until that happens, I’m stuck here at the clubhouse. The last thing I need to be thinking about is the past. Luckily, Parker is enjoying his time here, unlike me. I could see how happy he was when he stopped by here earlier. The smile on his face, and his laughter, made me forget how awful I felt, at least for a few minutes.

Taking in a deep breath, I try to bring up the image of the men who rode with Torch. “There were three men with him, all riding bikes, but none wore cuts. They didn’t know who I was, so they must not have been around when I was growing up.”

“Did you get a good look at them?” he asks, giving my hand a squeeze. “Were they old, young, big, small? Anything that could help me find them. Even if you don’t think it means shit, sometimes it’s the small details that give the most information.”

Again, I try to make myself remember. “Two were tweakers, like Torch. Both young and showing signs of a meth diet. I think they both had dark brown hair, but I’m not sure. I was focused on Torch.”

Smoke stays quiet while I think. “The other guy, though, he was quite a bit older. He was a big guy, not muscular, but he had one hell of a beer gut. Grey hair, with a bushy beard that went halfway down his chest.”

He nods, rubbing his thumb gently over the back of my hand. “Anything else? Did any of them have tattoos or scars?”

I close my eyes and bring them up in my mind. It takes a second, but suddenly, I remember something. “The older guy, he had a tat of the devil on his left arm. It was all black and white, really faded.”

“A devil, are you sure?” he asks, his hand tightening on mine.

I nod my head, ignoring the pain it causes. “Yeah, he may have others, too, but for some reason, that one drew my attention. I think I had seen something like it on someone else, but I’m not sure where.”

His hand lets go of mine as he says, “I want you to look at something for me. See if it’s what you’re talking about.”

I open my eyes and watch as he pulls out his cellphone. He spends a few seconds tapping on the screen then turns it my way. “Look at the man’s cut. Does it look like the tat you saw on the old guy’s arm?”

“I already told you, they weren’t wearing cuts,” I reply, looking toward the picture, but my words die as I take in the image.

There is a man with grey hair and a bushy beard in the picture, standing beside Boz’s old lady, the Pres on her other side. All three are wearing smiles on their faces. My eyes zero in on the older man’s cut and see the same devil I saw the other day.

“It’s not the same man. The other guy was older, by a few years at least, but yeah, that cut looks just like his tattoo,” I say, hoping like hell I haven’t said the wrong thing. “Who is the man in the picture?”

Smoke puts his phone back in his pocket and answers, “That’s Trix’s Dad, Hoss. He’s the president of the Satan’s Revenge MC.”

“Oh, shit,” I mumble, thinking about how nice Trix was to me after all that my brother and father put her through. “I could be wrong. This probably had nothing do with him or his club. Just forget I even mentioned the tattoo.”

A smile tips up the corners of his lips. “I know this didn’t have anything to do with Hoss, so don’t even worry about that shit.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to cause any problems for Trix or her family,” I say, chewing on my bottom lip. I may not know her very well, but from what she told me, she’s been through enough.

“Positive,” he says with a nod.

Suddenly, a thought pops into my head. “One of the tweakers was riding a low boy. Looked a lot like the old bike your dad gave you, expect it was neon green. Whoever painted it fucked up. The paint looked caked on in spots.”

“What about the other bikes?” he asks, his brown eyes staring into mine. “Did you notice the color, style, anything?”

“No, I didn’t. I only noticed that one, because it looked so much like the one you used to have,” I say, remembering all the rides we had taken together.

“That’s enough for now.” Standing up, he leans down and brushes his lips over mine. “I’m gonna go take care of this shit. We’ll talk about us when I get back.”

I unconsciously reach up and run my finger over my lips, attempting to push away the memories that come rushing back. Just having his lips on mine brought all those feelings back in full force. Trix is right; there’s no way I’ll ever be able to say no to him.

He walks to the door and pulls it open. As he steps out, he looks back and says, “Just remember, if I hadn’t fucked up like I did, you wouldn’t have Parker.”

Smoke

Right after leaving Gidget’s bedroom, I head to the office to talk to Boz. I’ve got to tell him about the man with the Satan’s Revenge ink, see if he thinks the same thing I do. There’s no doubt in my mind, the fucker with Torch is the same asshole that left Hoss’ crew, without turning in his cut. He’s the same fucking guy that was working with Stone, before we buried his ass.

Approaching the door, I reach out and knock, then wait for the okay to go in. After waiting a few minutes, I knock a little harder the second time. Still no response. What the hell? I just left him a few minutes ago, and he didn’t say shit about leaving.

Turning around, I only take a step or two before the door is pulled open and a disheveled Trix smiles at me. “Sorry it took so long to answer. We weren’t sure if that was someone knocking or not. Thought we heard something but couldn’t be sure.”

I look at her messed up hair, then chuckle and reply, “Yeah, Trix, I can imagine how hard it would be to tell if my banging was a knock of not.”

“Oh, come on, Smoke. You just wish you were doing some of your own knocking with that pretty little raven-haired chick.” She laughs as she pushes her hair out of her face. “Even with the bruises, I can tell how beautiful she is.”

I cock my brow and say, “If it ain’t too much trouble, I need to talk to Boz.”

She steps back and gestures for me to come in. “No trouble at all. I’m done with him for now, but don’t keep him busy for too long.” Trix giggles, shoots a wink over her shoulder to Boz, and walks out of the room.

I close the door behind her and walk over to the fridge. “Sorry, man, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You didn’t interrupt. No way was I stopping for anything,” he says, grinning and lifting his hand, waiting for me to toss his beer.

I do, sending it through the air, then walk over and take a seat across from him. “I got some more information from Gidget.”

He sets his beer on the desk and asks, “What do you got for me?”

“She remembered a tattoo on one of the men… Satan’s Revenge ink,” I reply, as I open my beer and take a drink.

I go on to tell him everything she said, not leaving out a fucking detail. He does nothing but nod as my story continues. When I get to the part of her freaking out when she thought it had something to do with Trix’s dad, he smiles.

“Gidget was always too fucking sweet, and it got her in trouble more than once,” he says, a smile still on his face. “Make sure she knows Hoss doesn’t have fuck to do with this shit. I don’t want her scared of Trix.”

“I already explained that, not in detail, but enough to calm her ass down,” I reply, taking another drink.

A couple of years ago, not long after we ran Torch out of town, he showed up in Hoss’ territory. Just like he did here, he got half of the Satan’s Revenge crew strung out. When Hoss eighty-sixed the piece of shit, a few of the boys followed him. One, Gonzo, left without blacking out his ink or turning in his cut.

Boz processes all that I’ve told him for a minute, before saying, “Well, I guess I need to make a call to Hoss and let him know his man has been spotted. He’ll be glad to know that.”

“Yes, he will. He’s been searching for that missing cut for a while.” I nod my head in agreement.

“We’ll need to know how Hoss wants to handle it when we pick them up. Whether or not he wants us to deal with it, or wants to deal with it himself,” he adds.

“Let me know what he says,” I tell him, getting ready to get up, but he shakes his head, letting me know to stay.

Without saying a word, he pulls out his phone and brings it to his ear. “Hoss, we need to talk.”

After a second’s silence, he adds, “Got some information about Gonzo.”

I ignore the rest, pull out my own phone, and shoot a quick text to Hack.
Need you in Boz’s office.

A few minutes later, a knock sounds at the door. I walk over and let Hack in. Just like me, he heads straight to the fridge and grabs himself a cold one. Then, we sit quietly as Boz finishes his call.

“We’re gonna head over and search Stone’s house in a few. I’ll let you know if we find out anything else,” he says, before laying the phone on his desk and looking to me. “He understands shit happens, and we may have to take him down. Still, he would consider it a personal favor if we kept the fucker alive so he can end him personally.”

It takes us a few minutes to get Hack up to date. He’s quiet until he has all the information, then says, “It’s not a hell of a lot to go on, but it’s something more than we had. I can see if any of Torch’s buddies fit the descriptions.”

“You get started on that.” Boz nods, standing up and grabbing his phone. “Get Brew. I want to head out to Stone’s place right now.”

Tossing my empty bottle in the trash, I walk out of the office and head straight to the common room. No Brew, but I do see Violet. I didn’t want to see her ass again so soon, but at least it looks like she’s moved on. At the moment, she’s occupied with Rocky’s dick down her throat, which can only be a good sign for me.

Walking on, I make my way to the kitchen. As I get closer, the sound of childish laughter hits my ears. For some reason, my feet pick up their pace. When I open the door, I see Addy sitting at the table with Cam in her lap. Parker is standing in front of them, making silly faces at the baby.

I can’t keep the smile off my face as I ask, “You seen Brew lately?”

Addy laughs and says, “Sure have.”

At the same time, Parker turns to me. A smile is spread across his face as he lifts his hand and waves at me. I do the same back, feeling like a fucking idiot. He’s Gidget’s son, and his dad is obviously not around. That means he’s gonna be my son, too, if I get my way. The only problem is, being around him scares the fuck out of me. What the hell am I supposed to do with a little kid?

“Turn your head, brother, and you can see me, too,” Brew says, drawing my attention to the fridge, where he is standing with a bowl in his hands.

Fuck! I was so absorbed in my thoughts of Parker; I didn’t even notice him standing two feet away. “We need to ride out. Boz is waiting for us.”

“All right,” he mumbles, walking over to Addy and placing a kiss on her lips. Then he places one on Cam’s cheek and scruffs the top of Parker’s head. “See y’all later.”

He heads my way, stopping beside me to whisper, “No reason to be afraid of the boy. Just go tell him you’ll be back soon.”

My eyes narrow on him, hating that the fucker can always read my thoughts. “I’m not afraid of the kid.”

Ignoring his chuckle, I walk across the room and look down at him. He’s smiling up at me, his blue eyes shining bright. The trust I see in them nearly takes me to my knees.

“I gotta go do something,” I say, my voice sounding gruff. “I’ll be back soon. While I’m gone, you be a good boy.”

He wraps his arms around my legs, squeezing them tight. “I promise.”

In a flash, he’s turned back around, making faces at Cam again. I have to force myself to turn around and walk out the room, knowing it ain’t gonna take long at all for me to love the kid as much as I love his mother.

Gidget

You wouldn’t have Parker.
Those words play over and over again in my mind. Smoke is right. If he hadn’t broken up with me, I would’ve never even met Richard, and I wouldn’t have Parker. Just the thought brings tears to my eyes and has my stomach tied in knots. I wouldn’t know what to do without my son in my life. Hell, the truth of the matter is, Parker is my life. At least, he’s the best damn part of it.