Need (11 page)

My breathing was starting to get out of control when I felt his breath graze my ear from behind me. 

“Relax.”

He ran his hand slowly down my arm, leaving heated warmth in its wake before heading back up the same path it had just traveled. I didn’t know what to think. Or feel. My brain was battling with itself. Why did he make me feel this way?

Whether by choice or not, my body started to forget about everything except him touching me. His fingers were doing wonderful things to the most innocent places, while his lips were doing something amazing at the junction of my neck.

I felt a slight pressure against my right hip. It was just a tap of something. Then his hand and mouth suddenly left and I felt another pressure on the back of my left thigh. The weird thing was that it felt almost familiar.

My heart pounded as I waited to see what he would do next. I felt a tap on my breast and gasped. Our day in the woods, when he’d blindfolded me. That’s why it felt familiar.

He didn’t remove the pressure from the top of my breast. “Open your eyes.” There, in front of me, resting on my left breast was the tip of his cane. “I improvised a little in the woods, but the basic principle is the same.” He lowered the cane to his side. “The cane can cause pain because the person wielding it controls its use, but in and of itself, a cane is not something to be feared.”

I knew what he was trying to tell me. It was the same thing he’d been telling me since I walked through the door of his home. He wanted me to trust him. “Do . . . ?”

“Go on,” he prompted. “You can ask me anything.”

“Do people . . . actually . . . like that?”

His lips turned into a smile I’d never seen before. “Yes. Some submissives enjoy being caned.”

I swallowed. “Do you think . . . I mean . . . would I . . . ?” As much as the thought frightened me, some part of me wanted to know how anyone could enjoy being hit with a cane. It was probably a very stupid curiosity considering everything I’d been through, but with him, everything just seemed different. Better.

He cupped my cheek and stepped closer until I could feel his breath on my face. “We can find out,” he whispered, and I felt a shiver, tinged with a hint of fear, run down my spine. “But not today. Today,” he said, leaning down to place a kiss that was barely there on my lips. “Today, we have things we must discuss.”

My eyes rolled back in my head as his lips covered mine. He wrapped his arms around me, and crushed me to him. All I could do was hold on.

Stephan

My kissing Brianna was purely impulse. I wasn’t used to doing things this spontaneously, but with her, my control always seemed threatened. She made me crazy. There was not five minutes that passed in my day where I did not think of her.

As I forced myself to release her, I knew that once again, I’d be spending some quality time in my shower tonight. I wanted Brianna as I had wanted no other woman, and I couldn’t have her. At least not yet. Soon though. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. Her slight pout as I put space between us did not help my trying to do the right thing. I smiled down at her. “We should get you fed.”

She followed me into the kitchen where I had laid out some fresh fruit and granola. We set everything on the table, and she began to eat. I let her get a few bites in before I spoke again. “How is your neck feeling today?”

Her hand came up to cover the area in question before going back to her food. “It’s better.”

I reached out and brushed my index finger lightly against the still slightly red flesh. “Sore?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“I’ll put some salve on it after you shower. It doesn’t look like the bruising will be too bad.” 

She nodded. 

“Are you hurting anywhere else?”

“No,” she answered. Brianna didn’t comment further on her injury as she finished eating. After all she’d experienced with Ian, I doubted a little bruising on her neck was something she’d consider a big deal.

She took her bowls into the kitchen when she had finished, and returned to where I sat. I opened my arms, and she took a seat in my lap. There was not as much room here as in the living room chair, but it would do for now. Her body leaned against mine. I wrapped my arms around her and tucked her head under my chin. 

“Tell me what happened with Karl. How did this happen?” I said, once again touching the angry mark he’d left on her neck.

It seemed very innocent, she and Lily going to the bathroom. It would have been had it not been for Karl. As she told me what had happened, I still couldn’t believe he had the nerve to try something like that with her at all, let alone in a very public setting. The man was either all about risk, or he was looking to be caught.

Brianna finished off the tale by saying how Cal pulled Karl off her, and then made sure she was all right. 

“Cal Ross seems to have been in the right place at the right time.” She shrugged. I could tell by the way she was reacting that she didn’t wish me to pursue the line of conversation further, but we needed to talk about this. “Cal Ross knew you. You knew him.” 

Reluctantly, she nodded. 

Her hesitancy made me more curious. “How do you know him, Brianna?”

She pressed her face into my shoulder, as she did when she wanted to hide herself for some reason. I wasn’t letting this go.

Her voice filtered up through a mixture of skin and clothing. “His dad and . . . my dad . . .” I heard a sharp intake of breath. “They . . . used to be best friends.”

I’d been right. They did know each other from her past. It wasn’t what I’d wanted to hear, but it was better that I knew. “Used to be?”

Hands took hold of my shirt as if anchoring her to me. “Cal and his dad moved to St. Paul when I was ten.”

“So you haven’t seen him in years?”

“No,” she answered, shaking her head. “Not since they moved.”

“And he recognized you?”

She shook her head. “I told him my name.”

As much as I didn’t want to continue talking about Jonathan Reeves since I knew how much it upset her, I thought it would be best under the circumstances. The more I knew, the better I could protect her. “Do you think they are still in contact with your father?”

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I . . . I asked him not to tell anyone he’d seen me. Not his dad. Not . . . John.”

“Do you think he’ll do as you asked?”

“I . . . think so?”

She wasn’t sure. That didn’t bode well. Then again, they’d not seen each other for eight years.

I leaned back and took her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. Her blue eyes were full of worry. “Even if your father should find you somehow, Brianna, you don’t have to go with him. You don’t have to leave here if you don’t want to. I won’t let him take you against your will.”

“Do you promise?” she asked. Her voice was almost childlike.

“I promise,” I answered, and pressed a soft kiss to her nose. She released a small sigh at the contact, and I felt some of the tension within her release itself. “Better?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Good,” I smiled, and gave her a pat on her thigh. “Why don’t you go take a shower and get dressed? It will make you feel better.” She arose from my lap, and disappeared into her bedroom.

I waited until I heard the water turn on in her bathroom before going upstairs. Just in case Brianna finished while I was still on the phone, I wanted to be far enough away that she didn’t hear.

My first call was to Jamie. I wanted to make sure all my instructions had been followed, and that everything was in place for Monday morning. She was an efficient assistant, however, I had a
very
personal interest in this particular set of instructions.

The second was to my lawyer, Oscar. Unfortunately, his man was still looking into some leads on John Reeves and didn’t have anything yet. He said he’d give me a call back as soon as he knew something. I also shared with him the new development that was Cal Ross. My lawyer didn’t seem to like the new addition any more than I did.

Just as I began to hear movement downstairs, my cell phone rang. The caller ID said ‘Cooper’. It was Sunday afternoon. No matter how upset I was with my uncle, I still missed Diane. “Hello?”

“Stephan! I was hoping you’d be here today.”

“Jimmy?”

“Of course it’s Jimmy. Who else would it be?”

“Well,” I said, leaning back in my chair. Something told me this was not going to be a short conversation. “Considering you are calling from my aunt’s house . . .”

He laughed. “Samantha and I are here having dinner. We thought you’d be here. I’d been hoping we could catch up.”

I sighed. My reasons for not attending Sunday dinner were not something I wished to discuss with Jimmy. I might consider him a friend, but we’d not been close since high school, and even then, our friendship hadn’t come close to what I’d shared with Logan. Jimmy didn’t know half the stuff I’d gotten myself into in those days. “I’d love to catch up. Maybe we can meet for lunch sometime this week. What’s your schedule look like?”

“Yeah, sure. Lunch is good.”

We spoke for a few more minutes before I noticed Brianna at the top of the stairs. She was cautious, not certain if she should disturb me. I reached out, beckoning her to me.

Brianna crossed the room slowly but eagerly. I pulled her into my embrace and took in the scent of her still-damp hair, which now smelled of her coconut shampoo.

“How does Tuesday at noon work for you this week? We could meet at Gino’s?” I asked Jimmy.

“Tuesday’s good.”

“I’ll see you Tuesday then,” I answered quickly, just wanting to get off the phone now that I had her in my lap. The call ended and I wrapped my other arm around her. “How are you feeling?”

“Better?” she answered as if it was a question instead of a statement.

“You don’t sound sure of yourself. Did the shower not help?” She pressed her lips tightly together. “Brianna?” I said in a tone she knew well.

“I started thinking again. I mean, what if John finds me?”

I would not lie to her. “What if he does?” A shiver rippled through her body. I pulled her closer. “I promised you I would not let him take you away if you didn’t want that. Do you not believe me?”

She seemed somewhere between shocked and hurt at my words. “I believe you,” she insisted. “But he’s the sheriff. What if he tries to take you away from me instead? I mean your uncle—”

“I don’t care what my uncle said.” Letting her speak to my uncle alone was becoming one of the worst decisions I’d ever made. “I’m not keeping you here against your will. You may leave at any time you so choose. Your father can’t have me arrested for allowing you to stay here as my guest.” I conveniently left out the fact that he could probably have me arrested for human trafficking since I’d bought her from Ian. Of course, he’d have to prove that, and no one knew what the money was for except for Ian, Brianna, Alex, and me.

She relaxed against me. “I’m glad.”

I kissed her forehead. “So am I.” She looked up at me with those sweet eyes that showed innocence I knew she shouldn’t have given her experiences. “Let’s go to your room so I can take care of your neck.”

She followed me down the stairs to her room where I put some more salve on the bruises that were forming. They seemed to be mainly toward the back where the tips of his fingers had dug into her skin.

When that was done, I put everything away, sat back against her headboard, and pulled her against my side. There was so much to talk about and it had to start somewhere. The outside world kept throwing us curve balls, but it hadn’t been detrimental to the overall progress we had made. 

“Have you been writing in your journal?” 

She nodded. 

“May I?” 

Again, she nodded. 

I picked up the journal I’d given her, and opened it. I read the last few entries picking up from where I’d left off the last time. “I see you’ve written every day. That’s good,” I said, running a comforting hand up her arm. Even sitting here with her in my arms, it was not close enough.

I continued to read. Her entries caused a full feeling to settle in my chest. She wrote about everything from our make out session in the chair the other night when she’d felt my obvious need for her, to her workout with Brad a few days ago. It seemed he had taken to teasing her about her blushing every time he mentioned my name. I was amazed by her unusual reaction to the personal trainer. She didn’t feel threatened by him in the slightest. Brad had a very easygoing demeanor even if he was a demanding trainer. It was the only explanation I had for her view of him.

She seemed confused by her feelings in regard to me, and I couldn’t help but smile. She liked to feel my touch and when I wasn’t near, she anxiously awaited our reunion. Her description of our kissing made me want to forget our talk and pick up where we’d left off the other night. I couldn’t dismiss the other parts she’d written. The feelings she was having toward me frightened her in many ways, but she desired them at the same time. For the most part, her feelings mirrored my own. The only difference was that I understood what they were. I loved her.

There was also her mention of the fear she had of being my submissive. It was laced through almost every reference to me right alongside all the positive things she was feeling. I needed to find some way to alleviate that fear. 

When I finished reading, I closed the journal and laid it to the side. “What is it that scares you the most regarding me?” I could see the wheels turning in her head as she considered the question. She really would make a very good submissive. 

“I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to be what you want me to be.”

“And what do you think that is?”

“You want to do stuff to me,” she whispered. “What if I can’t . . . ?” Her breathing was picking up its pace. 

“Relax, Brianna,” I said in a soothing voice. “Remember what I said about communication? If I don’t know what you’re feeling or why, then this isn’t going to work. Lack of communication is really the only thing that will make this
not
work.”

A few seconds passed before her body began to relax again.