Never a Bride (8 page)

She took her time in changing from her morning dress to a fancier afternoon gown of pale yellow muslin that was banded at the sleeves and waist with pink satin. The last thing she’d expected today was for Viscount Stonehurst to show up and ask to see her. She assumed Lily had made a mistake and sent her down to speak to him again. He assured her maid that he wanted to see Mirabella and not her father. He asked specifically that her father not be notified of his visit.

His anger had not been as violent as she would have thought, given the circumstances. Perhaps after a night to think on it he had more to say to her.

Throughout last night and all morning, Mirabella had been functioning in a dismal cloud of apprehension, knowing she had to confess to her father what had happened. She had alerted Lily last night to grab the Society columns of all the papers her father received.

She had no idea what, if anything, about Camden’s return would be in those columns, but she couldn’t let her father see them until she had spoken with him first. Thank God the attention to Camden’s return had been minimal because of a scandal concerning the Duke of Highbury. But the author of the “Society’s Daily Column” made it clear he was going to dig for details on their meeting. She knew her uncle would not breathe a word, nor Camden. But she was not certain that Mr. Farthingdale would be a gentleman and remain quiet about what happened.

Uncle Archer had wanted to come in with her last night and tell her father immediately everything that had happened. She wouldn’t let him and insisted it was her place to tell her father. Losing her spotless reputation didn’t bother her nearly so much as disappointing her father. That made her feel absolutely wretched. She had planned to tell him during her afternoon visit with him. Dreading the task had caused her to postpone it as long as possible. She had practiced in her bedroom all day on just how to tell him with the fewest details possible.

Why did Lord Stonehurst want to talk to her again? She would have to admit to Lord Stonehurst’s charges and face whatever consequences her father desired. She didn’t regret what she had done. Neither did she regret that she had to continue.

Her soft kid shoes were soundless on the carpeted floor as she walked to the parlor doorway. Her breath caught in her throat. She was stunned by how the sight of Camden affected her. He stood before the front window. He had brushed aside the gold velvet window dressing and stared out onto the street below. He seemed so deep in thought she hated to disturb him.

A slice of rare sunshine fell across his face and glinted off his dark hair, dappling him with an attractive glow. Once again she noticed the breadth of his chest, his height, the arrogant tilt of his chin and the proud lift to his shoulders. The stripe in his fitted trousers and the dark brown shade of his coat made a handsome combination. Seeing him like this, she felt that without a doubt she could have been happy with this man had things been different between them. Still there was no way to change what she’d done, and there was no one to avenge Sarah, if not Mirabella.

“Lord Stonehurst.”

He dropped the velvet panel and stared at her, taking in every detail of her face just as he had last night, and the night before. Mirabella realized what she remembered most about the evening was not their unpleasant conversation but his powerful kiss. It had been brief, demanding and seductive. That was how she expected a kiss to feel, not the cold uninspiring lips she had heretofore felt on hers.

“You are earlier than we agreed on,” she said, walking farther into the drawing room.

“My apologies.”

“It’s just that I need more time. Because of my father’s illness, I haven’t had the opportunity to speak with him about our engagement.”

“I’m glad you haven’t. I wanted to talk with you about that. Thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice.”

“I must admit I was quite sure after last evening you wouldn’t want to ever see me again. I thought you would just say the betrothal is off and be done with it.”

“I have to admit that did cross my mind more than once.”

Why wasn’t she calm? She had accepted that Lord Stonehurst had caught her in Mr. Farthingdale’s arms. By now he would have heard rumors there were other gentlemen she had allowed to kiss her. The engagement had been broken, and she knew she must tell her father the truth. Nothing worse could happen, so why was her heart pounding in her chest like a meaty fist against a solid wood door?

“I’ve sent my maid to ask the cook to make tea. It should be here shortly. Would you like to sit down?”

“No, I’ll stand if you don’t mind.” He walked closer to her and stood facing her.

Lord Stonehurst was a fearless, powerful-looking man and her pulse reacted aggressively to his nearness. She wanted to deny her attraction to him but couldn’t.

“Very well.”

“I came here today to make you a proposition.”

Mirabella tensed. How dare he? Just when she thought things could not get worse. “That would not be appropriate even under our unusual circumstances, Lord Stonehurst.”

He looked disconcerted for a moment. “No, you misunderstand me.”

Her ire was piqued that he should be so brash. “I think not. I’ll ask Lily to show you the door.” She whirled and headed to the door.

“Wait, Miss Whittingham, I mean no offense. Let me explain. I assure you my proposition is not out of line.”

Something in his tone made her stop. His voice had no accusatory quality. She faced him again but not without disapproval set in her expression. “All right. I’ll hear what you have to say.”

His brows drew together in frustration. “I’ll get right to the point.”

“Please do,” she said, ready to flee the parlor at any moment.

“I’ve had time to think over everything you said last evening, and something you remarked upon has stuck with me.”

She eyed him cautiously. “What was that?”

“That I’ve been away a long time with no word to you on my intentions to honor our betrothal.”

“It is some comfort that you have come around to understand my way of thinking, but I believe we said all that needed to be said on the subject last night.”

“Not quite. My honor dictates that I accept part of the blame for your indiscretion.”

Suddenly she was wary. His turnabout stunned her. What was he getting at? He looked so sincere, yet something didn’t feel right. “Your generosity surprises me, but yes, it would have been appropriate to hear from you from time to time. If you had even let me know what year you expected to return.”

He let her dig at him slide and said, “My lack of any communication is inexcusable.”

How could she remain angry with him when he looked and sounded sincere in what he was saying? He was forcing her to back off from her bold statement of claiming her actions were his fault. If this was a clever way to get her to admit she was to blame, it was working.

She relented and said, “I agree that we both made mistakes,” she said.

“Perhaps some more damaging than others.”

“True.”

He looked away from her for a moment before gazing back into her eyes. “I’ve thought about how we should go about breaking the engagement so we both save face.”

He stunned her again.

“You won’t lose face for something of which only I am guilty.”

“Miss Whittingham, take my word for it that no man likes to acknowledge to the world that his fiancée has been untrue to him with another man.”

Mirabella winced. His gaze zeroed in on her eyes so tightly, she flushed. She had heard the scandalous story about what had happened with his first fiancée, but she truly had never expected him to return and be hurt by what she had been doing.

He spoke with such conviction that she felt compelled to say, “I’m sure that’s true. And I’m not unaware of your past.”

“Yes, unfortunately, it seems everyone is aware of my past. However, I propose that we don’t break our engagement right away.”

She smiled nervously. “Surely you are teasing me, Lord Stonehurst.”

“I have thought about doing many things to you, Miss Whittingham, but teasing you was not one of them.”

“Does that mean you thought of kissing me again, or that you want to throttle me for what I have done to you?”

“Both, I assure you.”

“Thank you for your honesty.”

A light glinted in his eyes but Mirabella didn’t know if it was a teasing spark or one of anger. “You are never at a loss for words, are you, Miss Whittingham?”

“Oh, yes. More times than I care to remember. I’m sure many things have crossed your mind in the past twenty-four hours.”

“Too many, and we’ll leave it at that. My proposition to you is that I would like for us to appear around Town as a properly engaged couple. We’ll attend the parties together and even make a few wedding plans. When everyone sees that I’m not deserting you, they’ll accept anything that has been said about you as vicious gossip set to ruin our reunion and my return. After winter, sometime in the spring before the new Season begins, we’ll announce that the engagement is off and go our separate ways. In time you should be able to find a suitable husband.”

Something didn’t fit, but Mirabella didn’t know what. He was saying all the right things, but his proposal didn’t feel legitimate. “This is noble of you to be sure, Lord Stonehurst, but what is in this for you?”

“Me?” He cleared his throat. “Surely I’ve already explained that I feel somewhat obliged to save your reputation from further damage since you think my delay in returning brought on your indiscretion.”

“Did I say that?”

“You indicated it by words something like you would never be a bride, but you didn’t want to go through life having never been kissed.”

She felt a pang of guilt. That was not exactly the truth. “Is that all?”

“You do try my patience, Miss Whittingham. Isn’t it enough that I want to help you keep your good name?”

“No, I believe there’s more.”

Mirabella didn’t know what was wrong with her. Why was she questioning him? He was right. This would help her. She should be grateful he wanted to do this for her, but she wasn’t. How could she pretend to be this man’s fiancée day after day, knowing he considered her an unfaithful woman rather than a devoted fiancée? What would that do to her? Even now, she couldn’t look at him without thinking about how warm, moist and delicious his lips felt upon hers.

She’d rather be done with it all now. It would be torture to prolong their engagement only to break it in the end. Her position in Society had never been an issue in what she was doing for Sarah. If she agreed to play the part of his dutiful betrothed she wouldn’t be able to continue the hunt for Sarah’s seducer. As much as she would like to take him up on his offer and save her father the stress of hearing what she’d done, she couldn’t. She must continue her quest to avenge Sarah.

“What you are offering is generous after what I have done to embarrass you. Thank you, but I must decline.”

Camden blinked—had he heard her right? Did she refuse him? This lovely lady standing so demurely in front of him in her pale yellow dress was damned full of surprises. He had half expected her to be crying when he arrived and was delighted to find she wasn’t. He’d convinced himself she’d be begging him to forgive her and save her reputation by marrying her as Hortense had years ago. At the very least she should be grateful to him for wanting to help her.

Damnation. He certainly hadn’t expected her to refuse his chivalrous offer, which was made at great cost to him. He had pushed aside the fact that her agreeing would actually save him and his family because he had convinced himself that she would eagerly agree to his suggestion.

He had even taken the time to go to a jeweler and pick out a lovely necklace and earrings as his first gift to her as his betrothed. Now the weight of the box seemed unusually heavy in his pocket.

Mirabella Whittingham was a true enigma.

From his conversations with her he knew her to be an intelligent young lady. But perhaps she didn’t understand him. “I’m offering you a way to save your reputation, Miss Whittingham, so that you can marry a suitable gentleman some day in the future.”

He watched her face, and he thought he saw signs of hesitation. She wasn’t sure of her stand. That’s all she would give him, but enough to work on.

“While I would rather have had an unblemished reputation, sir, I can certainly live happily without one. I will disappoint my father greatly, and I do hate to do that, but I have no fear of losing his love.”

It wasn’t that she didn’t understand Lord Stonehurst. He didn’t understand her. Outwardly she seemed brave and capable, but instinct told him inside she was different. She was softer, more vulnerable than she appeared. Something troubled her, and she wasn’t saying what.

“Because of the circumstances I don’t see how you can refuse me.”

“Oh, my lord, I thought I had made it clear that I gave up all hope of marrying long ago.”

She knew how to hit him hard with her accusations. He had already admitted that maybe he should have written to her, but their families had an agreement and she should have had faith that he would live up to it one day.

He wouldn’t apologize again. If her father hadn’t approved, he should have notified the earl that the agreement had to be canceled. Camden remembered hoping that would happen.

“You make six years sound like an eternity, Miss Whittingham.”

“Obviously time passes faster in the Americas than it does in London, sir—with all of Society watching every move I made and whispering about everything I did, time went especially slowly for me.”

Considering what he’d been through with her and Hortense, he was finding it hard to feel sorry for her distress at the moment.

“If you were unsatisfied with my delay, why didn’t you ask your father to break the engagement? I would have been amenable to that, I assure you.”

“My father thought about that. In truth, I have been content to live at home with Papa since he has been unwell for some time now. I read books, write poetry, and do my needlework. I call on friends and have tea.”

“And kiss strangers on the streets?”

Seemingly unmoved by his accusation, except for the creeping blush that rose up her neck and flooded her cheeks, she said, “I have no excuse. You were so engaging I couldn’t resist. You are the only stranger I have ever kissed.”

Her poise hadn’t faltered. Camden took a step back and shook his head. This wasn’t going the way he had planned. What he was saying to her was not going to win her over to his way of thinking.

He looked back at her and said, “I believe you about that.”

She nodded once. “I have a full life, and I’m not opposed to spending the rest of it without a husband.”

That explained why she took the chance of ruining her reputation. She wanted to be kissed before she settled into spinsterhood. He felt a certain admiration for her. If she were going to be doomed to the life of an old maid, she obviously wanted to live a little first.

“You are a woman of rare courage, Miss Whittingham. Bold and daring to a fault.”

“I’ll consider that a compliment, sir.”

“Indeed it was. I daresay most young ladies in your position would be looking forward to a home of their own and children to take care of rather than remaining under their father’s guardianship.”

“Once I was resigned to the fact that I would never be a bride, I refused to look back on what might have been.”

Her wistful voice took Camden by surprise. His gaze swept down her face. He saw that even though her words were gallant she was vulnerable. A catch in his breath fastened inside his chest and wouldn’t move. For all her brave talk, he knew she hadn’t completely given up on the hope of a family.

Camden cleared his throat. “Your honesty forces me to admit that it would be better for me, Miss Whittingham, if we presented ourselves to be the happily betrothed couple a few more months. Therefore, I ask you to reconsider the answer you gave me and act as my fiancée through the end of the year and possibly into next spring.”

“Are you speaking about what happened to you in the past, Lord Stonehurst?”

He wasn’t about to let her get into that. “Obviously that is part of it,” he said tightly. “There are other things I’d rather not go into at the moment. Suffice it to say that I need to be engaged to you. I need you to be my fiancée.”

It seemed so callous when he said it like that, when he looked into her beautiful green eyes. He would have liked to tell her that she would be his bride before the year was out and would have, if she hadn’t already proven herself to be a woman with a blemished reputation.

There was no doubt he was as drawn to her now as he had been the moment he first saw her. She was beautiful, intelligent, and courageous. But he couldn’t consider marriage to a woman who had given her affections so freely to another gentleman. His ego wouldn’t allow it years ago and not now.

“I understand that you are unhappy by this unfortunate turn of events, sir. I’m afraid I didn’t consider you when I took the actions I did, and I am truly sorry for any embarrassment my behavior has caused. I would have never behaved as I did had I any hope you would come home.”

“It’s not so much me I’m concerned about, Miss Whittingham, as personal problems concerning my family.”

She took a step closer to him and looked up into his eyes. “Then I shall be blunt. I want to be done with it, Lord Stonehurst. I’ve found no pleasure in being betrothed to you these past years. I see no reason to continue this charade, which will cause only more pain months from now for your family and mine. Let us end it here.”

“You do not mince words, do you, Miss Whittingham?”

“There is no reason to. Because of recent circumstances, you know me far better than most.”

“I’m beginning to.”

“I suspect you had no intentions of marrying me when your father made the arrangement with my father. Isn’t this true?”

“No, it’s not,” he said. “I assumed I would marry you one day.”

“When you were old and gray?”

No words had haunted him more. “Yes, I did say that, but I’ve always looked at our marriage as in the future after I sought my fortune abroad. I admit that I never considered what your feelings might be while waiting here in England for me to return.”

“That’s perfectly clear, and I’ve already accepted your apology for that.”

“Then let us continue the engagement for the time being.”

“No.”

Camden blew out his breath. She was a stubborn one. She was going to force him to tell her the truth. “Miss Whittingham, my father is not able to repay the dowry money your father advanced him at this time. I’d rather not go into all the financial details, for they are lengthy and private, but I ask for your consideration in this matter.”

Her eyes searched his face for a moment. He didn’t like feeling anger at his father for putting him in this position. Miss Whittingham and his father were the ones who had done wrong, and he was the one at the point of supplication.

“I see this is a delicate subject for you,” she said.

“Aptly put.”

“The only reason you want to continue this charade is because your family is financially embarrassed.”

Mirabella could never be considered coy. Damn if she wasn’t the most challenging person he had ever met. A shiver of awareness shook him as he looked at her. Long, dark brown lashes framed her lustrous green eyes. Her brows arched and fanned upward into a lovely shape.

“At the moment that is true. But there is more.” He spoke from the heart, but had no way of knowing if she knew. “I’ve already mentioned the advantage to you. Beyond which, I find you extremely attractive, Miss Whittingham. I find you stimulating. You have managed to surprise me at every turn. Admirably so. I wouldn’t consider our engagement a burden. I would be a dutiful lover. It would be a great benefit to both of us, Miss Whittingham.”

“Your compliments are welcomed, Lord Stonehurst, but once again, I’ve made my choice. I’m afraid I can’t turn back.”

Camden could see she wasn’t going to budge this time. But he wasn’t ready to give up. Not just yet. He would come back tomorrow and try to get her to change her mind. She intrigued him. She challenged him. For reasons he couldn’t understand, he wasn’t so bothered by the fact that she wasn’t willing to go through life never having been kissed. How many women in her position were brave enough to do that?

“Then there’s nothing more to be said.”

“I’ll tell my father on my evening visit that our engagement is off. I’m sure he’ll be most circumspect and compassionate about your family’s financial position after I tell him what I must.”

“Here are the tea and scones, Miss Bella. I’m sorry it took so long, but the cook was just about to take fresh biscuits from the oven.” Lily looked over at Camden then back to her employer. “I knew you’d want to wait for the warm ones.”

“Thank you, Lily. Put them on the table.” The maid did as she was told, then turned and walked out, but not before looking Camden over from head to toe.

“Would you care for refreshment before you go?”

There was a soft feminine strength about Mirabella that drew him to her even when he knew there could never be anything between them. “No, thank you. I know where my hat and coat are. No need to see me out. Good-bye, Miss Whittingham.”

***

Mirabella
took a deep breath before knocking on the door of her father’s room. She was not looking forward to this meeting. She had been in her room rehearsing what to say to him since Lord Stonehurst left, trying in vain to come up with a way to make this turn of events more palatable to her father.

At best, she would only have to tell him that she didn’t want to marry the viscount. At worst, she would have to tell her father the entire dreadful story of how Lord Stonehurst caught her in the arms of another man. She couldn’t tell her father about Sarah. She had to keep that from him so she could continue her search.

Lord Stonehurst’s surprising offer to remain engaged had been so very tempting. But he wasn’t offering a solution to her predicament, only a postponement.

A pang of guilt struck her every time she thought about Lord Stonehurst. How she had ever found the courage to deny herself his company for a few months she didn’t know. He was the most interesting gentleman she had ever met, and she would have loved the opportunity to get to know him better. After all the years she waited for him to come home, she would have enjoyed having him by her side—if only for a short time.

But she was committed to finding the rake who seduced Sarah and caused her death. She had gone too far to turn back now, and a fiancé would be a hindrance. Refusing the viscount was the only sensible thing she could do.

Mirabella strode into her father’s room with all the courage she could muster. “Papa, how are you this evening?”

Her father closed the book he was reading and laid it on the covers in front of him. “I’ve had a good day, Daughter. How about you?”

She brushed aside his heavy blanket and a copy of
The History of England
and took a seat on the bed beside him. “I’ve had a most unusual day.”

“Something out of the ordinary?” He placed a finger on his chin. “Sounds like a wonderful change to a sick old man who spends too much time in bed reading. Tell me how so?”

It was best for her to just be done with it and not play around with the news. “The Earl of Lockshaven’s son has returned to London.”

Bertram’s expression questioned briefly, then brightened. “What’s this? The viscount? Your fiancé has returned?”

“Yes.”

His eyes widened and he leaned forward. “How do you know this? The earl has sent word? Are you certain?”

“Quite certain.”

Bertram clasped his hands together and whispered, “Thank God. What took him so long?” Relief washed down his face, and his eyes pooled with moisture. “This is wonderful news.” He quickly brushed his eyes before the glistening could become tears. “I’m overjoyed. Mirabella, I don’t mind telling you that I had all but given up hope of him ever returning. I planned to speak to Archer about other eligible men who would be suitable to you and now I don’t have to. This is the news we’ve been waiting for.”

She hadn’t expected her father to show so much enthusiasm over Lord Stonehurst’s return.

“Where’s Newton? I must send a note to the earl at once.”

“Papa, wait.”

“What for? Your fiancé has come to claim you for his bride. It’s past time he decided to uphold his duty.”

“I’d like to discuss this with you.”

“Of course we will. Tell me, how did you find out he had returned? I haven’t received a visit from the earl. Unless Newton failed to deliver his message to me.” Bertram started searching the covers. “Where’s my bell?”

“Papa, please wait before you summon Newton.” She took hold of his hand and kept him from ringing the bell as his fingers closed over it.

“All right, let’s start at the beginning. Tell me how you know that he is in Town.”

“Lord Stonehurst was really quite shrewd.”
Too designing.
“I met him at the first party I attended last night. Uncle Archer introduced us.”