Never Enough (5 page)

"I swear I won’t let you drink another drop.
Just don’t get mad at me because I’m just doing what you asked me to. Man what do you think it was like to kiss him?" Her face lit up and she was grinning ear to ear. She may be immune to his charms but like any other woman alive she had no issue with wondering what those lips could possibly feel like. If I had to guess I would say it was like heaven.

"Ugh, I have no idea. I wish I knew though! It’s driving me insane!"
Boy, do I wish I remembered. We laughed then walked out the office. I made sure the door was shut. No one ever tried to walk back there but just to be safe I always double checked it. We slowly made our way back out to the bar where the band was on a new song.

The band played a few more songs then took a break. I tried to avoid Trevor at all costs but it just wasn’t possible. The Lounge wasn’t that big of a bar.
Gary really needed to think about expanding. It was so weird because I didn’t want Trevor around but I needed him there. Without seeing him, I felt completely lost. He was like fuel to me and I couldn’t explain it. I’d put on this front for so long and with last night’s events coming to my attention reeling through my head I felt I needed to come clean somehow. The remedy hit me like a ton of bricks. I needed to sing again. After all, this was how I expressed myself. I darted towards the DJ booth and whispered my choice. I climbed on stage with confidence and flipped my hair like before the music began and ‘I Try’ by Macy Gray started. I belted it out probably the most sober I’ve ever been when I sang. That was a first. But the song said basically everything I was feeling. This was the only way he’d ever know if he even could see through it. This was the only way I could confess to him that I did like him. Trevor locked glances with me a few times throughout the song but that was it. There was no smiles or anything. When the song ended everyone cheered and Halley and Marcus were kissing. I prayed she would keep her promise. The urge to grab a shot of something was tugging at me and I wanted to resist it so bad. Trevor watched me leave the stage. That was the last time he locked eyes with me then but he didn’t follow this time. There were no smart remarks, no snide comments about singing with him. Instead he went and grabbed a drink and went back to meet his band mates to get ready for their next small set. And I stood there wondering why I even bothered with what I just did.

Part of me hoped he would have approached me again.
I waited and he never did. If he would have it was bound to have been amazing. I could picture it now, I would fall into his strong arms or I mean he could hold me and I’d wrap my legs around his waist and I’d gaze into his beautiful eyes and tell him how much I wanted to be with him and when I realized he didn’t and wasn’t going to, I suddenly wanted a drink. I had just basically poured my heart out in song to him. Maybe I should have gone with another choice but that needed to get off my chest. Halley had stopped kissing Marcus long enough to see the look on my face. I had to hand it to her, she had amazing best friend radar and she knew I was wanting that shot of whiskey. She stepped away from Marcus, walked behind the bar and she grabbed a shot glass and filled it with coke and slid it over to me. I grinned and accepted the drink and threw it back.

The band got back on stage a few minutes later and finished their set around midnight
. While they began taking down their equipment, everyone spread out among the crowd while the DJ kept the music going into the wee morning hours. People were drinking and dancing the night away without a care in the world. That must be nice. I drew in a deep breath and made my way back to the office to get the money to pay the band for their performance. I fumbled through Uncle Gary's filing cabinet to find the envelope. I swear he has papers from the last twenty years or so just piled up in this office. He needed to throw some of this away. Some of these papers didn’t even have anything to do with the bar. He probably didn’t want to clutter up his own house so he figured The Lounge was the perfect place. After what seemed like an eternity, an envelope stuck out that said 'The Band'. I didn’t really expect it to say anything else. I rolled my eyes and I grabbed it and turned around to find Trevor standing there leaned against the doorway. My oh my, he was so good looking. My brain began throwing all kind of sentences together but nothing would come out. Good thing they didn’t. Some of them sounded too corny in my head I couldn’t imagine how stupid they would sound out loud. "Oh uh, hey...I didn't know you were there. Here's uh your money." His hand brushed mine as he reached for it and it felt like a million fireworks went off inside my stomach. And I thought the Fourth of July fireworks were intense. They had nothing on this. I couldn’t deny any of this any longer. I wanted him.

He stepped closer and I could feel the heat radiating between us. It was enough to start a fire. A very hot smoking fire.
Burn down this city kind of fire. "Thanks,” he whispered leaning into my ear. He must have recently taken a shot because his breath smelled like whiskey and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to taste his poison.

His lips moved closer to mine and I swear they were so close I could almost feel them.
I desperately wanted to feel them. Ashamed of my actions last night, my head lowered and I looked down, “Did we really kiss last night?" I should have left that alone but I needed to know. The thought of not knowing was killing me the more I thought about it.

He touched my chin and raised it up til our eyes met.
He stared into my green eyes for a minute before he responded, "No Mace, I wanted to but I didn't want to cross any lines. I do know the rules." His face wore a serious expression. In the time I've known him I've never known him to be so serious. He was a joker. Everything was funny to him; he always had some sarcastic line to use. That’s how he always had been, always would be.

My eyes didn't stray from his
, they stayed locked, completely mesmerized. I stood unaware of what was getting ready to happen but I already knew deep down. "Trevor the lines have already been crossed." I leaned in as my lips fiercely met his and I felt dizzy with emotion. My mind told me to stop but my heart wouldn’t listen. I had wanted to do this for so long. I reached up to grab the back of his neck to steady myself. My lips parted to let him explore. He didn’t push me away, he leaned in closer. I was right, he had been drinking whiskey and I savored every minute of our kiss. This one I would definitely remember tomorrow.

He
pulled away and looked at me with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. He looked as though he was going to kiss me again and I anxiously awaited it but Halley came bursting in suddenly and we tore our hands off each other before she could catch on. "Hey everyone's starting to clear out, you ready to start closing this place down?"

"Yeah sure thing, I was just making sure the guys got paid for tonight."
I quickly brushed my hands over my lips to feel where he just was.

Trevor gave a quick thank you and walked out the door
, shutting it behind him. Halley turned to face me and asked with a grin on her face, "So Macy what was that?"

"What are you talking about?"
I brushed my lips again. Halley would figure me out there was no doubt about that at all, but I'd keep this secret as long as I could.

She gave me a sly grin and replied," Oh ok I see.
I’ll meet you out by the bar." She winked then walked out closing the door behind her. She wasn’t stupid. She knew exactly what had happened. I had to sit at Uncle Gary's chair for a moment or two to process everything that just happened. I leaned back in his office chair and stared at the ceiling with a goofy grin on my face. I can’t believe what just happened. And everything that just happened, it changes everything.

Chapter 5

After closing up The Lounge, I shot my Uncle Gary a text to let him know everything went smoothly and the bar was still standing. I even let him know the fire extinguishers didn’t need to be taken out. He appreciated that and sent me a text saying thank you. I rode home with Halley and Marcus in silence trying to decipher the night’s events. I never saw Trevor leave. Matter of fact, I hadn’t seen him since our kiss. He probably left while I was still in the office trying to catch my breath. Maybe that was a good thing but part of me hoped he would have stuck around so I could have seen him again before we left. Would this make things awkward now? I mean basically he kissed and ran. I sure hope it wasn’t a mistake.

We walked in the door and I tossed my purse on the kitchen counter. Marcus was staying the night so he and Halley basically ran to her room before I could say goodnight or good show. I rolled my eyes and grabbed
my purse and went to my room. I snatched my phone out of my purse to put it on the charger by my nightstand. As I plugged it up the screen lit up with a text from Trevor. My heart sorta skipped a beat and I smiled. I was nervous just a few minutes ago that maybe this was all a mistake with how he left the bar but he actually texted me. I opened the message to see what he said. "Can I see you tomorrow?" I made sure to save his number earlier this morning to save any future heart attacks.

I stared at the screen afraid to answer.
We had already crossed the lines, what else could we possibly get into? My breath was held as I typed my answer. "Sure." There was no going back.

"I'll text you in the morning. Goodnight beautiful."

Grinning from ear to ear and blushing I replied," Goodnight."

I had to splash my face with cold water after I reread my text messages that morning to make sure I didn't make it up in my sleep.
It was definitely not a dream, this was real life and I was still grinning from ear to ear. Shit! What do people like Trevor James do during the daylight hours? I’d never seen him outside of The Lounge now that I thought about it. Seeing him there was usually enough. Halley and Marcus were still sleeping so I crept into the kitchen to grab a glass of orange juice. I didn't like keeping secrets, especially from Gary, but it had to be done. I vowed that to myself. At least until we knew what we could possibly be. What if we didn’t work? If I were never enough for him, then why would I risk telling Gary anything and making him possibly mad. I looked in the mirror. In my opinion I've become a strong, beautiful, independent woman. I’d taken that part of me back and no one would ever take it again. I wondered if my mom would be proud of me now. She probably wouldn't recognize me; unfortunately I'd recognize her a mile away. I got in the shower and let the hot water wash away all my pain. Trevor could oversee my past if he really even wanted to be with me right? Who was I kidding of course he wanted to be with me. The kiss said it all, I’m sure of that. My luck he wouldn't even call.

I turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around my hair and my body. Quickly I dried off and threw a pair of jeans on and a plain black
fitted tee. I made my way into the kitchen where Halley and Marcus were drinking their coffee.

"Morning guys."
I halfway made an attempt at a cheery greeting that worked for me.

Halley replied, "Morning what's going on today?" Marcus just smiled and continued to drink his coffee. He didn't seem to be a huge morning person or at least that’s what Halley has told me. Clearly I see what she meant.

"Ah, I'm not sure. I may venture into town today for a little." She looked like she was thinking of possibly joining me but I quickly added, "Alone. I may go see Gary, I'm not sure yet. I just want to do something." Secrets were seeming to become a normal part of my life these past few days and I didn’t like it but I was only doing what I felt was necessary right now.

A look of disappointment shown on her face
. I hated lying to her but I couldn’t tell her yet. I needed to see that Trevor and I could hang out just fine alone. "Oh ok, we'll probably hang around here, that ok Marcus?"

He looked at her and grinned, "Sure babe, whatever you want to do." He leaned in and kissed her on her cheek. She turned to meet his lips and to keep me from puking
and losing my orange juice I had earlier I smiled and went back into my room, quickly.

I began drying my hair when the phone went off. I held my breath and picked it up. A message from Trevor
stared at me. It read, "We still on for today?"

Instantly beaming I replied, "Yeah, what time?" 

He replied just as quick with, "I was hoping to grab lunch? Can I pick you up at 11:30?"

No he most certainly could not pick me up. Halley had no idea we were hanging out and I had no intention of sharing that fact with her.
She would try to tag along and that would just make it even more awkward than it already would be. The thought of offering to get him crossed my mind but I wasn't sure if he was one of those guys who disliked having a woman chauffeur them around and really he lived not far from us so it wasn’t a big deal. Surely, I didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes, not this early anyway. "No, I can meet you. Just say where."

I had just finished placing my hair in a ponytail when he replied, "The new sandwich place by The Lounge?"

"K, sounds good. See ya there."

"See you soon Mace...."

My heart cut several cartwheels and I started to take my hair out of the ponytail and actually fix it. No, we weren't going on a date; this was just two friends that just happened to have kissed hanging out. We were just going to eat lunch. We weren’t planning our whole lives out today. Ponytail it is. I applied a little make up and threw some earrings on. I glanced at the clock. It was close enough to 11; I was ready to leave before I talked my way out of this and stayed home.