Never Go Home (8 page)

So he
remained and waited and nothing happened. After an hour, he headed back to the
Tercel and placed a call.

“Yeah?” Vera
said.

“I’m in
Florida. He’s inside a house.”

“OK. Stay on
him tomorrow. Report back with his every move.”

The line went
dead. Leon tossed his phone on the other seat.

“Yeah, every
move,” he said. “Gonna get me killed.”

I woke up
just after seven in the morning. Sunlight trickled in through a crack where the
curtains met as it rose above the trees across the street. I rolled over, got
out of bed and looked out the window. I didn’t see Sean’s Mercedes in the
driveway. Must’ve been an in-office day for him.

I exited the
room and retraced my steps to the stairs. The upgraded carpet felt like walking
on a foam mattress. The air smelled of dark roast. My mouth watered. Every step
I took brought me closer to the coffee. The scent led me into a kitchen lined
with stainless steel appliances, cherry wood cabinets, and granite counter
tops.

Only the best
for my big bro.

“Hello,
Jack.” Debby leaned against the counter, lips pursed, arms crossed, left leg
over her right. She held a mug in one hand, and a bottle of cream in the other.
“Care for some?”

I smiled,
nodded and said, “Black is fine, Deb.”

She stepped
forward and placed the mug on the island. Her stare never left my eyes. I
reached for the cup. We continued to stare at each other for an awkward moment.
We hadn’t seen or spoken to each other since Mom’s funeral. I knew the day
would come, but I always avoided thinking about it.

“Jack, I—”

I threw up my
hands, palms facing her. “Let me go first. I said something awful six years
ago, and I’ve wished I could take it back almost every day since. I know Sean
and I have had our issues, but that never had anything to do with you. You
stuck up for him, and I lashed out at you for it. I’ve thought about this over
and over, Deb. In that moment, I think I was pissed more about the fact that it
was you who said it, not the words you said. We were friends way before there
was something between you and Sean. You did what was right. I was in the
wrong.”

She shook her
head as she reached out for my hand. “I knew it would piss you off. That’s why
I said it, Jack. I would have been surprised if you had reacted any other way.
Now, I was shocked that Sean acted the way he did.”

“I’m not.
He’s my brother. We’re wired the same. You just never saw that side of him.”

“But I saw
plenty of it from you.”

Little feet
pounded on the floor behind me.

“Hi Mommy. Hi
Daddy.”

I turned
around. The little girl froze.

“Kelly,”
Debby said. “This is your Uncle Jack. He’s your Daddy’s brother. You remember
the pictures, right?”

She nodded.
Her eyes were wide and her stare never left me. I knelt down in front of her
with my arm stretched out. She tepidly reached for my hand. The tension left
her face. She let go, raced around the island and asked for a bowl of cereal.

Deb fixed the
girl’s breakfast. The little girl hummed a song I wasn’t familiar with.
Probably the jingle to some kid’s show. Her mother handed her the bowl on a
tray and sent Kelly into the living room to watch TV while she ate.

Deb put the
milk in the fridge and the cereal in the pantry. She returned to the island,
looked at me and sighed.

“Were you and
Jess still close?” I said.

She nodded.
“We didn’t talk as much as in the old days, but we spoke frequently.”

“So those
things Sean said, about her husband, he got some of that info from you. He
pieced it together with what he had witnessed personally?”

“Yeah, and
please don’t mention that to her parents, or anyone else. I mean, maybe some of
them already suspect it. But if they don’t, I don’t want to go around hurting
feelings any more than they already are. Know what I mean?”

I pulled a
stool out from under the island’s ledge and took a seat. Steam rose from my
coffee mug. I took a searing sip.

“You think
she killed herself?” I said.

“That’s what
the police say, right?”

I knew enough
to never trust an opinion until I had all the facts. “Did she ever say anything
that made you think that she was in need of help or counseling?”

Deb shook her
head. “She had her moments, Jack, but who doesn’t? We all get depressed at
times. Look at me, I live in this big, gorgeous house, but there are times I
wish I did more than I do. That upsets me a bit. So, I don’t know about any
signs. She seemed normal. Frustrated at times. Her marriage was coming to an
end and I think she knew that and I think she was ready to let Glenn know that
she planned on leaving.”

“Did she?”

“Leave?”

“Tell him.”

Deb shrugged.
“If she did, she didn’t let me know.”

I figured she
might not have had time to. Glenn could have flipped out on her.

“Maybe she
told him the night she died.” I didn’t need to see the tears welling in Deb’s
eyes to understand the impact of the words. “Don’t dwell on that, Deb.”

She bit her
bottom lip, then said, “I’ve already gone there, Jack. Part of me can’t see him
doing it, but another part…”

I rose and
walked around the island and placed my hands on her shoulder.

“I just want
to hear her voice again,” Deb said, crying.

I pulled her
into an embrace and stroked her hair. Her tears soaked the sleeve of my shirt.
I wished there was more I could do for her. For all of us. The only thing that
could have helped was bringing Jessie back, and that couldn’t happen.

“Looks like
you two are getting along again,” Sean said.

I hadn’t
heard him come in. I released my right arm and stepped to the side. Deb rested
her head on my shoulder.

Sean’s
expression changed when he saw the tears on his wife’s face. “What’d you say to
her?”

I shook my
head.

“It’s not
him,” Deb said. “We were talking about Jess.”

Sean moved in
and took over for me.

“I’ll leave
you two alone.” I grabbed my coffee and wandered around until I found the
living room.

Kelly smiled
as I approached. It reminded me of Mia. Their mouths were shaped the same. The
dimple was the same. They got it from my mother. Kelly patted the empty seat on
the couch next to her and waved me forward. Bold for a nine year old.

I sat next to
her. For twenty minutes we talked about school and sports. She’d played soccer
since the age of three and loved to watch football. She didn’t have a favorite
team. She just enjoyed the time with her dad. He didn’t bury his face in his
laptop or his phone when football was on the television. I tried to get her to
talk about boys. Fortunately, she didn’t.

“Why haven’t
you been here before, Uncle Jack?”

I sat back
and thought about how to answer the question. What could I tell her? My life is
too important? Too dangerous? Me and your dad and mom have issues? I glanced
over at her. Why hadn’t I come to see my niece? Last time was when she was
barely a toddler. None of the excuses made sense, and they wouldn’t cut it with
her.

“Because I’m
a fool,” I said. “Just like that crazy duck-cow-fish thing on the TV.”

She laughed.
I wrapped my arm around her and leaned back. Her little head rested against my
side.

Sean stepped
into the room. “We should get going, Jack.”

“How’s Deb?”

“She’s good.”
He waved me forward.

“Where are we
going?”

“You’ll see.”

Leon had
scrambled back to his car when the Mercedes took off earlier that morning. By
the time he pulled out, the sedan rounded a corner. Leon made it to the main
road and the Mercedes was gone.

He figured it’d
be back sooner or later, so he exited the neighborhood and parked on the
shoulder of Suncoast Blvd, about a hundred yards from Jack’s only way out.

After about an
hour, the Mercedes had returned. Now he saw it again. Leon brought his
binoculars up and saw two men in the front seat. They were the same guys from
the night before. The Mercedes pulled out and traveled away from him.

Leon shifted
into gear and merged onto Suncoast. He kept a fair bit of distance between
himself and the two men. His only job now was to keep an eye on Jack.

Though I hadn’t
been home in six years, everything looked the same. Trees, houses, fields,
stores. I watched the familiar terrain pass by at fifty miles per hour.

“Not much has
changed around here,” I said.

“Wait till we
get to town,” Sean said.

“Different?”

“A bit.” He
shook his head. “Actually, not much.”

“Isn’t that the
same?”

“Semantics.”

“Whatever.” I
rolled down my window. The morning air was cool, but humid. It didn’t matter
what time of day or night it was down here. Humidity was a way of life.

“Any chance we
can do some fishing?” Sean said.

I shrugged. We
used to go all the time as kids. There were many nights dad told us to go catch
our dinner. If we came home empty handed, we didn’t eat. We both grew up to be
expert anglers. At some point, it lost its luster for me. Too slow.

“Afraid I’ll
show you up?” Sean said.

“I know you
will.” I saw the river to my right. “Is that what we’re doing?”

“No.”

“Then where are
we going?”

“To see Dad.”

I said nothing.

We entered town
doing twenty-five. I rolled my window all the way down and rested my elbow on
the sill. I figured maybe I’d see someone I knew and could shout at them.
Instead, I saw old guys sitting in rocking chairs outside Jay’s Hardware and
General Store. Two old ladies stepped out of the town diner. A group of kids
loitered in front of the movie theater.

Nothing had
changed. The faces got older was all.

“Where is this
place you shelved Dad in?” I said. “I don’t remember a rest home in town.”

“On the other
side,” Sean said. “Figured you’d like to see the sights first.”

Sean turned
right in front of a sheriff’s patrol car. I didn’t recognize the woman behind
the wheel. She had dark hair, pulled back tight. Sunglasses covered her eyes.
She might have been attractive. Wasn’t a long enough glimpse for me to tell.

I thought about
asking Sean if he knew her. I didn’t.

We exited town
to the south and drove another ten minutes. The area used to be nothing but
trees. Now the road was lined with shops and office buildings. Progress, some
would call it. If it was this crowded all the way up here, it must’ve been a
butchered mess clear down to Tampa.

Sean turned
into the half-filled parking lot of a place called Johnson’s Senior Care.

“This is it,”
he said, cutting the engine.

We got out at
the same time. The Mercedes beeped twice at us. We walked toward the front
door, hands in pockets, stares aimed at the ground. I imagined we looked like
mirror images on the security feed.

Automatic
sliding doors parted for us. I waited for Sean to go through. He walked up to
the counter. A woman there greeted him by name.

“And this must
be your brother?” A fascinated look spread across her face.

“Yes ma’am,” I
said. “Jack.”

“Nice to meet
you, Mr. Noble.”

I nodded, and
said, “Likewise.”

She looked down
at her desk and retrieved a sign-in book.

“Boy, your
daddy likes to talk about you. Of course, I think he’s referring to Sean half
the time, and himself the other half.” She laughed, deep and bellowing.

Sean looked
back at me and shrugged. He gestured with his head toward the hall and walked
in that direction.

“Nice meeting
you,” I said to the woman.

I caught up to
Sean. We stopped in front of room 117. A dry erase board hung from the door. It
said “Noble” on top. Someone had drawn a face with a frown underneath his name.

“What’s that
mean? He’s sad?”

Sean shook his
head. “Bad day, that’s all. Could be any number of things. Don’t worry. I’ve
seen them all.” He took a deep breath and held his fist in front of the door.
“Anyway, you ready for this?”

“What’s there
to get ready for? It’s Dad.”

“All right,
here we go then.” Sean knocked, then pushed the door open. He stepped through
and greeted the old man.

I walked in
after. Shock hit me as I laid eyes on him for the first time in six years. He’d
aged at least twenty, and he was old to begin with. Dad had waited until his
early forties to start his family. Mom had been ten years younger. Up until the
dementia set in, you couldn’t tell the age difference. That changed
drastically.

He looked at me
and froze. His bushy eyebrows furrowed, almost covering his eyes. He extended a
bony finger and aimed it at me.

“Is that my
Jackie?”

I stepped
forward. “Hey, Pop.”

“Home from the
Marines already?”

I shrugged.

“How on earth
do you get away with that shaggy hairdo?” He shook his head. “In my day we’d
have tied you down and shaved your head bald. Hell, I might try to do that
right now.”

He planted his
hands against the arms of his chair and tried to push himself up. He didn’t
budge. Cursed up a storm, though.

“I’ve been on
leave for a few weeks. They’d never let me walk around base looking like this.”

He nodded, looked
away. “You boys gonna stay around for a while? Your mother should be around
soon. I know she’d like to see you, Jack.”

I looked at
Sean. He gave me a terse smile. Always something different. I could see it in
his eyes.

“I’m not sure,
Pop,” I said.

“Actually,
we’ve got to get going in a few minutes, Dad. There’s been an unfortunate
accident.”

“Oh, no,” Dad
said.

“Yeah,” Sean
said. “Jessie passed away.”

Dad shook his
head. He brought his hand up to his mouth and bit on a knuckle. “I’m sorry,
Jack. I know you two had plans to get married.”

“I’m broken up
about it, Pop.”

He held out his
hand. I took it. He squeezed as tight as he could. I barely felt it. He glanced
up at me. Those blue eyes I remember were covered in milky cataracts. I
wondered how he could tell it was me that had come in. I understood how he
thought I was fifteen years younger.

“You’re a good
kid, Jack. Always have been. But you gotta work on those issues you have, anger
and whatnot, before they take over and ruin your life. You don’t want to end up
alone, without a soul in the world to love you.”

I bent over and
kissed him on the cheek. His white stubble stabbed at my lips.

“Love you,
Pop.”

“You too, son.”
He smiled, turned to Sean. “And you too, kid.”

Sean patted Dad
on the shoulder and turned to me. “Let’s get going.”

We walked
through the hall to the reception area. The nurse smiled at us as we passed.
Sunlight poured in through a glass dome in the ceiling. We went through the
automatic double doors and out into the parking lot. It was like walking out of
a freezer and into a sauna.

A beat up
Tercel nearly hit us when the driver leaned over and started looking for
something on the floor.

“Don’t do
anything,” Sean said.

I held out my
hands. “I’m good.”

After we were
seated in Sean’s car, he said, “Want to get a drink?”

I couldn’t say
yes fast enough.

Leon followed
the parking lot around the back of the facility. He stopped on the far side and
waited there until Jack and the other man had left in the Mercedes. Once they
were gone, he pulled into a parking spot by the front door.

He glanced at
himself in the rear-view mirror. He looked like crap. A day without a shower
and eight hundred miles of driving would do that to a guy. He grabbed a wet nap
and cleaned off his hands and face. A pine tree air freshener hung from the
mirror. He grabbed it and rubbed it on his shirt.

He scanned the
parking lot to ensure that the men had not returned. It looked safe. He got out
and walked up to the entrance. The doors slid open and he stepped inside.

The woman
behind the reception desk rose and said, “Help you, sir?”

“Yes,” Leon
said. “My name is Roger Carter and I hear you guys run the best senior care
facility north of Tampa. My Dad’s been living with me the past five years, but
it’s grown to be a bit more than I can handle, what with my wife passing
recently.” He forced his eyes to water. Something he’d been able to do since
high school. “I wonder, do you have any literature on hand, and maybe a nurse I
can speak with?”

“Of course.”
She smiled and sat down and opened the drawer to her left.

Leon glanced
down at the sign-in sheet on the counter.

“Rats,” the
woman said. “I’ll need to go in back to grab that. I’ll look for the nurse
while I’m back there. Just a sec, OK?”

Leon said,
“Sure, take your time, ma’am.” He crossed his legs, dropped an elbow on the
counter top and leaned to the side. After she disappeared, he pulled the
registry closer. The last line with an entry had Noble written in both the
visitor and resident columns. On the other side of the sheet was a messy bunch
of scribble. No matter what way he looked at it, it didn’t read ‘Jack.’ Leon
looked up. That was the signature line. Between the signature and resident,
Leon saw the number 117. He glanced at the column header. Room number. He
pulled a pad from his pocket and used the pen on the desk and wrote down
“Noble” and “Room 117.”

The woman
emerged from the hallway. She waved a few pamphlets in the air. “I’ve got it.
And I found Nurse Jenny, too. She can answer any questions you have.”

Leon lifted his
hand in the air. He held his cell phone. “I just got called into the office. I
better get going. But thanks for the literature.”

“Maybe you can
bring your father up one day this week to take a look around.”

“I’ll keep that
in mind.” He took the pamphlets and left the facility. He drove about a mile
down the road and pulled into a shopping center. There, he placed a call to
Vera.

“OK, so here’s
what I got. Jack and the guy, I’m figuring it’s his brother. They left the
house and cut through town. Ended up at a retirement home. I got a look at the
guest register thing. Noble signed in to pay a visit to Noble.”

“So a mother or
father?”

“Yeah, that’s
what I figure.”

“What did you
tell the people inside?”

“That I was
checking the place out for my dad.”

“OK,” she said.
“I may have you follow up there. Whichever Noble is a resident may come in
handy for us later.”

“Hey, you get
me an old black man down here, and I’m good as gold.”

“You lost them,
though, right?”

“Jack and the
guy?”

She exhaled
loudly into the phone. “Yes.”

“Yeah, but at
least I know where they’ll end up. They headed back the way they came, too.”

“Good. You
feeling good on your own or would a teammate be helpful?”

Leon considered
this. Two people could be better than one, but he hated working with a partner.
They got in the way and always became a liability.

“Solo for now,
but keep someone on standby.”

“OK. Call me
this afternoon.” She hung up.

Leon rolled
down his window. The smell of fast food filled the small car. He glanced
around, spotted a Burger King and went in for a bite to eat.

I followed Sean
past the dented wooden door into the dimly lit bar. The place had changed names
a dozen times since I was kid.
Lou’s, Cal’s, Crystal River Pub
, and
several more that my mind couldn’t conjure the names. It always looked the
same, though. Right down to the pool tables in the game room. When we were
kids, Dad brought us in here to shoot while he pounded a few rounds with his
buddies.

Bonding. Good
times.

Sean and I took
two empty stools at the far end of the bar. I had a wall behind me, and the
door in front of me. The mirror that stretched the length of the bar let me
keep tabs on the tables without looking in their direction. Sean said nothing.
Neither did I.

The bartender
glanced our way. He nodded, put down the cups he was drying and walked over. I
recognized the guy. He, like the pool tables, had been a staple in the pub for
thirty years. And like the felt on those tables, he looked weathered and worn.

“Well I’ll be…
If it ain’t the Noble boys. What the hell are you two doing in here? I don’t
see your daddy around. Don’t tell me you two kids are old enough to drink now?”

It took a
minute for his name to come to me. “How are you, Eric?”

He shrugged.
“Seriously now, something happened to your old man?”

Sean shook his
head. “Nah, an old friend died, though.”

Eric nodded.
“Heard ‘bout Jessie.”

He glanced at
me. There was a sadness to the way he looked. His eyes seemed to droop. His
lips parted a crack. He wanted to say something. I looked away before he could.

“Anyway,
what’ll you guys have?” Eric said.

“Beer,” Sean
said.

“Beer,” I said.

“Coming right
up.” Eric walked off.

Glasses
clanked, feet scuffled and the jukebox kicked on. An old Stones song piped
through the speakers.

Eric returned
with two chilled bottles, caps off. Water drops ran down the labels.

I reached for
my wallet.

He set them
down in front of us. “Don’t worry about it.”

I looked at
Sean. He shrugged. We’d make it up on the tip. Eric probably counted on that.

The Rays game
was on TV. The music drowned out the commentators. Didn’t matter. I watched
without interest. Long gone were the days of enjoying sports. Maybe I’d get
back into them after retirement.

If I ever
managed to quit the business before it did me in.

Sean leaned
over and nudged me with his shoulder.

“What?” I said.

“Look who’s
coming our way.”

I looked ahead
and saw two older women saddle up to the bar. I hoped that wasn’t who he meant.
He nudged me and lifted his finger off the bar top and pointed toward the
floor. I shifted my gaze to the right, saw two guys I knew from my younger
days. We had gone to school together from kindergarten on. During those
thirteen years, we never got along. Half the fights I got in as a kid were with
those guys. They hated me. I hated them. I wasn’t surprised to find those
feelings still existed.