Never Let You Go (22 page)

The door was free now, but Megan watched, hypnotized, as Anna unscrewed the cap. She pulled out the brush and wiped it dry on the blanket beside her. With slow deliberation, she dipped the brush into a pool of her blood. She raised her knee and swiped the brush up and down her big toenail. Dip, swipe. Dip, swipe. Methodically, Anna worked her way across each toe.

Megan was frozen in horror, unable to take her eyes from Anna’s hands.

Dip, swipe.

When she had finished the toenails on her right foot, Anna looked up again. Her eyes danced and sparkled. Her cheeks were delicately flushed. Megan thought she’d never seen Anna look so beautiful.

Anna knocked the bottle of polish to the floor. A pool of Sugar Daddy pink dripped onto the rough floorboards. Anna dipped her brush into the pool of blood on the blanket, but finding it congealed, simply slashed her belly again. The blood flowed red, and she began to paint her left toenails.

“I want Jordan.” Anna said it offhandedly, as if ordering a burger.

Megan couldn’t have responded even if she’d wanted to. Her mouth had gone dry.

Anna finished with her toes. She stretched her feet out, admiring her work, then pulled back the covers and climbed into bed, smearing the sheets with blood, as she lay on her side. She pulled the blankets up over her shoulders, then looked at Megan. Anna’s black hair spread out on the pillow. She yawned like a cat, showing pearly white teeth and a delicate pink tongue.

“I’ll make it very simple for you. Break up with Jordan. Tell him you don’t love him. I saw you guys fighting this afternoon. It shouldn’t be hard.”

She closed her eyes for a long moment, and Megan wondered if she’d passed out from blood loss or gone to sleep.

Then she said slowly, “Do it today. And make it good. He’d better believe you. If he doesn’t . . . or if you breathe one tiny word about this to Thomas”—her jaws cracked in another yawn—“well . . . you know, I can’t guarantee what will happen next.”

Anna pulled the razor out from under the covers and placed it on her pillow. Her sleepy eyes opened a fraction of an inch, and Megan saw her smile at it, like you’d smile at the face of a lover. Then Anna’s eyes closed and she fell asleep.

CHAPTER 16

“He’s out with the pigs,” Anna whispered softly in Megan’s ear. They walked quickly along the path. Megan nodded and swallowed. All around them, everything seemed normal. Dave chugged by on the tractor and raised his hand to them. They passed Isaac and Robert forking dirty bedding onto the manure pile by the barn. Sarah was bent over in the garden, pulling carrots. But Megan felt as if an icy scrim had fallen between her and the rest of the world. Only she and Anna knew what was really happening.

Megan thought of that famous kidnapping case where a robber walked a woman into a bank in broad daylight and made her withdraw money for him. There’d been lots of people around, but no one knew anything was wrong until she managed to pass the teller a note. But the robber found out and he killed her.

Megan glanced at Anna, who walked half a step behind her. She’d washed most of the blood off her face and arms. Her ears were still crusted with some dark red flakes. Anna stepped
lightly, eagerly, and occasionally gave Megan’s arm a confiding little squeeze with her bandaged hand. Her fingers were cold.

Megan could see Jordan spreading a bale of straw in the pigs’ bed corner, his back to the road. Anna melted behind a nearby stand of blackberry brambles just as he turned around. He smiled when he saw Megan and waved, coming toward her. She knew he was going to apologize for the fight. She readied herself.
Make it good.

“We have to talk.” Her words were harsh and abrupt.

The smile dropped from his lips. “Meg, if this is about before—”

“Not here.” She could hardly believe the cold composure in her own voice. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the brambles rustle. “Later, okay? It’s important. The old barn, tonight. Ten o’clock.” Anna had insisted that be their meeting place.

He reached for her. “Megan, what’s going on? Tell me now.” He touched her forearm, but she recoiled. The brambles rustled again.

“No. Later.” She spun around, not daring to look back but feeling his eyes on her as she retreated down the road.

“Megan.”

Anna shook her shoulder roughly, and Megan’s eyes flew open. Anna’s face hovered above her own. Black eyeliner ringed both her eyes, so that they appeared to be glittering from the bottom of two holes. Her orange lipstick was crooked and gleamed in the dim lantern light.

Anna trailed a finger down the side of Megan’s cheek, then playfully squeezed her chin. “It’s time.”

The cool air caressed Megan as they stepped out into the night. The farm lay sleeping around them. The sheep were snuggled against each other as they made their way past the pasture fence and around to the old barn at the back.

Megan’s flashlight bounced across the rotted siding to the gaping mouth of the doorway. She couldn’t tell if Jordan was already inside or not. Carefully, she pressed her hand against her pocket to stifle any telltale rustles. She’d managed to sequester herself in the bathroom before dinner and scribble a quick note.

Everything I’m saying is a lie. Anna is forcing me to break up with you so she can have you for herself. I’m scared. Something’s wrong with her—and she has a razor. Meet me tonight at the bonfire place in the woods. Three o’clock. Don’t tell anyone! Please—we have to figure out what to do. I love you. M.

Anna stood behind her, so close, Megan could hear her breath—light, quick. There was a soft, metallic
zing!

“Don’t try to run away,” Anna said. “I wouldn’t recommend it.” Megan felt the back of her shirt lift and something cold and sharp pressed into her skin below her shoulder blades. Megan opened her mouth but couldn’t scream. She couldn’t run. She was frozen in fear.

Anna drew the razor down in a quick diagonal line almost to Megan’s waist. The pain trailed behind the pressure of the
blade in a thin burning line. Another diagonal, top to bottom. Megan could feel droplets of wetness she knew was blood. Then Anna drew a short straight line connecting the two. The letter
A
. Carved on her back.

Anna dropped Megan’s shirt and leaned next to her ear. “Showtime, Meg.” Then she slipped into the darkness.

Megan faced the doorway and shined her flashlight into its maw. The feeble beam barely pierced the darkness. She stepped onto the rotting boards. Suddenly she wondered if this was a trap.
Is Anna going to do something to Jordan?
Megan stifled a sob and played her flashlight quickly over the old machinery, the fallen stall dividers. The light picked out a figure standing in the middle of the floor. She opened her mouth to scream until she realized it was Jordan.

He wore a gray sweatshirt, his hands buried in the front pocket, his face set in angry lines. Megan wanted to run to him and bury her head in his chest, but the pain in her back reminded her of what she had to do.

“Hi,” she said. The word sounded silly in this setting.

He didn’t answer for a minute, just looked at her. “So you dragged me all the way out here just to break up with me?” His voice was harsh. “Great, Meg. This is just great.” He fell silent again.

Do it.
Scanning the small windows, she wondered where Anna was. They were all black.

“Jordan, it’s over.” Megan carefully spoke the words Anna had told her to say. “I never thought you could be such a jerk like you were this afternoon.” She felt sick at the look on his face. The real words she wanted to say crowded her mouth.
I love you. This
is all a lie.
Over his shoulder, a moonlike white face appeared at one of the windows. Anna was watching.

Jordan slowly shook his head. “I don’t understand. Please, can we talk about this?”

“No.” Megan winced at the brutality of the words. “I’m leaving the farm anyway. Thomas is kicking me out.” That was a lie, of course, but Anna had insisted.

“What? Are you serious? Because of the latch?”

“And other things . . .” Megan swallowed. She forced herself to go on. “He caught me with Robert.”

“Caught you with Robert?”

Megan watched the meaning dawn on him. Then Jordan stepped forward and grasped her shoulders.

Now. This is the time.
Megan moved one step closer and as quickly as she could wormed the note out of her shorts and stuffed it into his sweatshirt pocket. She was almost positive Jordan’s body had blocked any view of the maneuver.

Jordan released her and stepped back. He looked like he was going to punch something. “No. You wouldn’t. I thought I knew you better than that.”

Megan stared up at him.
You do!
she tried to tell him with her eyes.

He turned his back. “I think you’d better leave.”

Anna was nowhere to be seen by the time Megan got outside. With the bloody
A
on her back still burning with every step, Megan turned back toward the cabin.

CHAPTER 17

Anna was tucked into bed by the time Megan got back to the cabin. She looked like an angel with her hair in two neat braids and the white sheet folded neatly under her arms. She’d washed the makeup from her face, and her freshly scrubbed skin glowed against the pillow.

She smiled dreamily as Megan came in. “Meg, that was brilliant. Just brilliant.”

Megan started taking off her clothes. Her fear had dissipated, leaving her oddly calm. The cuts on her back no longer stung. In the back of her mind, she wondered if she should wash them, but instead she pulled on a T-shirt and sweatpants and climbed into bed.

“Thanks,” she said. It was the first thing she’d said to Anna all evening. Her voice even sounded normal. Jordan knew by now. She wasn’t alone in this anymore.

Megan resisted turning her face to the wall, in case Anna
came at her with the razor. But there was no need. Anna seemed calmed by the scene in the barn, and within only a few minutes, her breathing had slowed to a regular rhythm. She was asleep.

Megan lay in the dark, staring at the gray square of the door, wondering where Anna had stashed the razor. The minutes dragged past. Anna murmured something indistinct and rolled over in bed. An owl called his odd chattering hoot out in a nearby tree. Moths and bugs tinged against the metal screen door.

At two thirty, Megan carefully slid from the bed and pulled on her jeans. She stuck her feet into her unlaced sneakers. Anna was a long lump under the covers across the room. Megan briefly imagined Anna awakening, her eyes glittering over the top of the sheet. Her heart thudded. Megan eased the screen door open. It creaked. She froze. But there was no movement from the bed.

Megan broke into a run as soon as her feet touched the bare dirt of the path. She didn’t look back. In her mind’s eye, Anna stood behind her on the porch, her long hair flying wild, clutching the razor like a younger Bertha Rochester.

Megan stopped to tie her sneakers, then ran through the open fields bright with moonlight toward the woods. As she entered the trees, she realized she’d forgotten her flashlight. Briefly, she panicked at the darkness, but the thought of Jordan waiting spurred her on.

The path became rougher as it wound up the steep hill toward the bonfire site. Megan slowed, her eyes trained on the ground to keep from stumbling. She was almost to the first switchback. On her left, the ravine gaped like an open mouth.

“Meg!” Jordan stood on the path several yards above her. She sighed with relief. He ran toward her, catching her by the hand.

“Here, down here.” He pulled her off the path, down the steep slope.

“Is this safe?” Megan gasped. She realized the irony of the question as soon as it was out of her mouth and laughed shakily.

“It’s okay, there’s a creek at the bottom.” He had a flashlight and held her elbow to guide her. “Watch the rocks.”

They inched down the slope sideways like crabs, arms out for balance. As they went lower, Megan’s eyes adjusted, and she saw the meandering creek bed strewn with rocks, scattered about like pebbles on a giant’s playground.

They stumbled to the bottom, then Jordan took Megan’s face in both hands. His eyes searched hers. He pulled her close. Megan let out a huge shuddering sigh as she pressed into him and felt his arms wrapped around her tightly. It hurt her cuts, but she didn’t care. Tears leaked out from beneath her eyelids.

Jordan pulled back and gazed down at her. “Robert’s so not your type.” He grinned.

Megan let out a half laugh, half sob. “How can you joke about this?”

“What’s the alternative?” he asked, his voice soft. He brushed her hair back from her face, then leaned down and kissed her, long and deep. She pressed up against him, her arms around his neck. His fingers rubbed her shoulders, then slid down to her waist. She inhaled sharply.

“What is it?” Jordan asked.

Megan shook her head. “Nothing. It’s just . . . she cut me earlier with the razor. Before I went into the barn. On my back.”

She turned and lifted her shirt, then heard him gasp. “Jesus.”