Never Let You Go (8 page)

“Here. You look hot.” He shook his head, flustered. “I mean warm. You know what I mean, right?”

Megan took the bandanna, placing it on the nape of her neck and letting trickles of icy water run down her back. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He held her gaze for a second longer until she dropped her eyes, confused. Damn it, there it was again. And in front of Anna, too. Was he flirting? Or just being nice? Did Anna see it?

But behind them, Anna fiddled with Cisco’s feed bucket, trying to detach it from its clip on the wall. She finally yanked it free and, emerging from the stall, handed the bucket to Jordan. “Can you come get sweet feed with me?” She deliberately let her fingers caress his as he took the bucket. “I want to leave Cisco a little treat, but there was a mouse in there before.”

Megan turned away and forked some clean shavings into Rosie’s stall. There was no mouse, of course. The door to the feed room closed with a thump. Megan shoveled shavings faster, trying not to mind that Anna was surely making out with Jordan right now.
Why should I mind? Okay, so the guy had amazing eyes and an unnervingly direct gaze. Whatever. He’s not yours! What the hell is wrong with you? You almost lost her once, Megan. Don’t let it happen again. What kind of nasty bitch crushes on her best friend’s boy one day after meeting him? This. Will. Not. Be. Another. Mike.

At the same time, Megan knew Anna was acting out of control. Seriously, there was no need to make out with Jordan right here, right now. Couldn’t they at least sneak around after dark like normal people?

Still, she has a right to do what she wants
, she reminded herself.
He does too.
It was none of her business anyway. Maybe if she told herself that enough times, she’d actually start believing it. The
shavings barrow was almost empty now. She’d need some more for Darryl’s stall.

Back out to the big open shed on the outer wall of the barn. Shovel the clean white shavings. Back inside. Don’t look at the feed room door. Don’t listen. Listen to what? Maybe they really were filling feed buckets. Megan fought a mental picture of Anna and Jordan, half-undressed, entwined on a pile of feed sacks. She shoveled the rest of the shavings with furious speed, gripping the handle of the fork so hard her knuckles were white.
In addition, I’m doing all the freaking work here, on the first day
, she thought bitterly.
Thanks, Anna. Thanks.
Maybe this was her penance. Maybe Anna thought she hadn’t been punished enough over the last year. Maybe Anna was right.

Megan heard a door open and fixed her eyes on her pitchfork, which moved steadily between wheelbarrow and stall, leaving a little white trail of shavings with each scoop.

Footsteps. She turned around. Her stomach plunged when she saw they were holding hands—no, Anna was holding
his
hand—and Jordan’s ears were pink. Well, that was that. He was into her.
As he should be. Anna deserves this, and you know it.
Anna looked flushed and satisfied. It was the way she used to look when she’d gotten into shoplifting their freshman year. Her lips were red at the edges.

Jordan didn’t look at Megan. Instead, he grabbed the manure wheelbarrow and pushed it away, mumbling something about dumping it, even though it was empty.

“Thanks for sticking me with the work,” Megan said to Anna
when Jordan was out of earshot. “Have fun making out in the feed room?” She kept her voice casual.

“I wasn’t the only one having fun.” Anna raised her eyebrows significantly. “I’d say he was having a pretty good time too.”

Megan felt a little twist of pain in her gut. She tried to keep her face neutral as she grabbed a broom leaning nearby and began sweeping the barn floor. “So, things are working out?”
Maybe she would say no. . . .

“You could say that.” Anna’s voice was soft, and Megan glanced over at her friend, who was sitting on an overturned mud bucket with a dreamy expression on her face. All of a sudden, Anna looked just the way she used to when they were younger, when they would search for four-leaf clovers or make fairy meals on plates of leaves. Megan’s turbulent feelings about the Jordan situation, the hurt at Anna’s verbal jabs, all of that evaporated, leaving Megan only with the fresh realization that this was her oldest and dearest friend—and she was in love, or something pretty close to it. Megan knelt down beside Anna.

Anna looked at Megan full in the face. “I really like him,” she said simply.

Megan nodded. “He’s nice. More than nice—”

“Sitting down on the job, girls?” a voice interrupted.

Thomas stood in the far doorway of the barn with Rosie on a lead rope and Jordan beside him.

Megan jumped to her feet as they approached, but Anna remained sitting.

“I’ve been sitting here all morning, Uncle Thomas, while
these two did the work,” she declared, mischievously.

Thomas didn’t even blink. “If that was the case, you’d be on the first bus home, dear. But I know you better than that. Is Rosie’s stall ready?”

“We just finished,” Megan said. “Is she . . . feeling okay?”

Thomas led her into the fresh, sweet-smelling stall and took off her halter. “Well, she’s not sick, if that’s what you’re asking. But she is in early labor.”

The girls gasped and clutched each other in excitement. “How do you know?” Megan asked. She looked at Rosie, half expecting her to drop to the floor and produce a foal that instant.

Thomas ran his hands lightly over the horse’s bulging sides. “I stopped to check on her while she was in the pasture. She’s showing the usual signs, but it could be awhile yet. You know what that means. . . .” He looked at Anna.

“Foal watch!”

“What’s foal watch?” Jordan asked.

“Oh, it’s so much fun! You stay up all night and watch the mare and just hang out, eat snacks, and talk, and then, if the foal starts coming—”

“Come and wake me up,” Thomas said. “I don’t think she’ll do it before morning, but we’d better play it safe.” He ran his fingers over his short white beard. “Let’s see. Dave has to go over to Tractor Supply real early tomorrow, and Sarah’s on breakfast duty. They need some sleep tonight, so we’ll leave this to you summer hands. Let’s have Megan and Jordan do the first shift,
then Anna and Robert after that. Isaac can take the prebreakfast watch if there’s no foal by then.”

They all nodded. Megan actually clapped her hands. An actual foal, born right here in this barn! This was probably the most exciting thing to ever happen to her. She pushed aside the equally thrilling thought that she’d be alone with Jordan for her shift.

When the others had gone ahead to lunch, Megan lingered behind to pat Rosie’s nose once more.

“Are you scared, girl?” she asked the mare. Rosie chewed a mouthful of hay. Her big dark eyes looked calm. She was probably used to this. Megan tried to remember if Thomas had said she’d had babies before, or if this was her first. She scratched behind Rosie’s ears.

“Well, if you’re worrying, don’t,” she told her. “Someone will be with you the whole time. You won’t be alone.”

Anna stuck her head back through the barn doors. “Megan. Come on, dweeb! Everyone’s already eating.”

Megan gave Rosie’s nose a last pat and hurried to the door. She felt all quivery with anticipation, thinking of the upcoming night. “I’m starving,” she told Anna outside. “What’s for lunch, do you know?” She started down the path, her stomach rumbling, but Anna grabbed her hand.

“Wait, I have to ask you something,” she said.

Ahead on the farmhouse lawn, Megan could see everyone seated around the long picnic table. Sarah was standing at the
head, talking, holding a platter aloft in one hand, gesturing with the other. Megan thought she could smell meat. “What?” She made as if to keep walking. “I think they grilled burgers.”

“No, listen. Wait just a second.” Anna spoke in a hushed tone, even though no one else was around. “Switch shifts with me tonight. You can hang out with Robert and I’ll be with Jordan.”

Megan stopped and groaned. “I thought we were done with the whole Robert plan. Seriously, I am so not into him, and the feeling is definitely mutual.” Secretly, she knew her protests weren’t all about Robert.

“No, come on, you have to!” Anna pleaded. “I’ll think up some excuse for Uncle Thomas—I’ll tell him I can’t stay up that late. He won’t care.” She clasped her hands like a little girl. “Please, please? Oh, come on, Meg, this is my chance with Jordan! You know, to show him how I really feel.”

“Your
chance
?” Megan couldn’t resist snorting. “Didn’t you have your chance in the feed room just now?” She started walking again.

“Come on, Meg,
please
? I really need your help.” Anna’s eyes were huge.

Megan sighed. “Fine.”

“Thank you!” Anna squealed and kissed Megan on the cheek. “I love you.”

Megan grimaced. “You should.”

They were almost to the lawn now. The pleasant hum of voices and the clink of silverware on plates floated toward them on the breeze. Everyone was squeezed together around the long table, spooning out potato salad and green beans. Sarah spotted them
and called out, “Come on, girls, I saved some burgers for you.”

“Coming!” Megan called, just as Anna’s hand grasped hers and pulled her back.

“Just look at him,” Anna whispered, her breath blowing hot against Megan’s ear.

Megan watched Jordan lean over to refill Linda’s water glass. His hair shone in the sun like spun gold.
He is beautiful
, she thought. She wanted him so badly, she felt like screaming. But she didn’t, of course. She just remained silent.

Anna moved forward as if drawn by an invisible thread. “It’s going to be a great night,” she murmured.

CHAPTER 5

“Oh my God, I am so red,” Megan moaned later that evening as she stared into the tiny, smeary mirror that hung on the cabin wall. The little room was hot and stuffy after being shut up all day, but they’d propped the door open, and a cool breeze was finally beginning to blow through.

“Didn’t you put on sunscreen?” Anna asked, sitting cross-legged on the bed and pulling a brush through her heavy black hair.

“I sort of forgot.” Megan switched on the lamp and dug a jar of aloe out of her toiletry bag. “Good thing Mom stuffed this in my bag at the last minute.” She unscrewed it and gazed at the green goo inside. “It looks toxic.”

Anna started to plait her hair into a long braid. “How was weeding? Hey, do you want me to braid your hair? It looks so pretty like that.”

Megan smiled. “Yeah, that’d be nice. Thanks.” She sat on the floor between Anna’s knees and let her friend pull a comb through her tangled hair. It felt very peaceful, very familiar. Megan thought back to all the times she and Anna had sat like this, with a comb and a mirror, over the years. Too many to count.

“Anyway, weeding was fun. I mean, hot, but it was nice,” Megan resumed. “Isaac and I did most of it, but Sarah came out and helped some, and Linda sat and talked to us. She made me put her hat on when she saw how red I was getting.” Megan peered at her reflection and started smearing aloe on her burnt nose.

Anna sniffed, dividing Megan’s hair into three sections. “She’s always in other people’s business like that.”

It took Megan a moment to realize that she was talking about Linda. “It wasn’t like that. She was just trying to be nice. She told us a bunch of stuff about the farm too. Hey, did you know she and Thomas were one of the first farms in the
state
to go organic? Everyone told them they’d never make it, and they did.”

“Yeah, I think I knew that.” Anna skillfully wrapped a hair-band around the end of the braid and smoothed a few stray pieces. “Okay, done.”

Megan got up and stared at herself dolefully in the mirror. Her hair looked nice, and her skin was no longer green from the salve, but it was shiny. Shiny, wet, and red. She put the aloe away and lay down on her bed, adjusting the pillow behind her neck, and watched Anna rummage in her trunk, holding up various tank tops, then discarding them. “Seriously, why don’t you like Linda? She seems really nice to me.”

Anna shook her head vigorously. “
Seriously
, she’s a bitch, okay? Trust me. I’ve known her a lot longer than you.” She pulled an emerald green tank over her head, mussing her long braid, which somehow made it look even better. Anna seemed to be considering something. Then she sighed.

“Okay, fine. Listen, when I was eleven, I spent the summer up here. It was right after Dad left, and I was really pissed off all the time. That summer, they had this big old dog, Nigel. I think he’d come with some sheep they’d gotten. He was kind of cranky and smelly, but Linda just loved him. I loved him too. I used to talk with him like he was the only one who could understand me.” Anna paused, sitting down on the bed, her hands dangling limply between her knees.

Megan pushed herself up on her elbow. “And?” she prompted.

Anna sighed. “And one day, Aunt Linda went off on me because I said I’d fed the pigs and I hadn’t. We had this big fight. Uncle Thomas told her to go easy, that my dad had just left us, and she said that didn’t matter, work was work, blah, blah, blah.

“I just lost it, listening to all the yelling, so I found this rope and put it on Nigel and ran down the road with him.” She laughed a little ruefully, as if watching her teary eleven-year-old self. “But he pulled away and a car came by and hit him.”

“Ohh,” Megan breathed. “That’s awful.”

Anna wiped under her eyes. “I know, right?”

Anna shrugged. “Aunt Linda’s had it in for me ever since.” She got up from the bed abruptly and put on her sandals. “But it doesn’t matter. She was a bitch before, too.” Her mouth was hard,
and she stared at the wall for a long moment. Then she blinked, and her whole face changed, as if someone had pulled up a window shade. Anna’s eyes sparkled and she smiled radiantly at Megan. “Hey, do you think Jordan will tell me he loves me tonight?”

“Um . . .” Megan struggled to shift gears. “I don’t know. Does it seem like he . . . does?”

Anna looked at her like she had three heads. “
Yeah.
Anyway, I want to be the first to say it.”