Never Look Back (73 page)

‘Is there anything you don’t like then?’ Matilda asked, smoothing the child’s hair back from her forehead.

‘Only that you won’t be here,’ Tabitha said with a little sigh. ‘But perhaps I won’t mind so much once I’m at school.’

A lump came up in Matilda’s throat. ‘You do understand why I’m going?’

Tabitha nodded. ‘To make lots of money for us.’

‘It’s not only money,’ Matilda said gently, knowing she owed this child absolute truth. ‘I want to do this thing too because it’s a chance for me to prove myself. For some people, just earning enough to feed and clothe themselves and their children isn’t enough. It’s called ambition. Your father’s ambition was to stamp out poverty, and free slaves. Uncle John wanted to see this town be a fine place with paved streets, a hospital, and even parks for people to walk in. Your ambition is to be a doctor, and I hope you never lose that.’

‘I won’t,’ Tabitha said. ‘I want to be one even more than ever.’

‘I don’t think my ambition is quite so honourable as that, or your Papa’s and Uncle John’s,’ Matilda smiled. ‘But it will give some people work, it will make the people who come in there happy, and I hope it will make enough money for you and Amelia to have the kind of life your Mama and Papa would have wanted for you.’

‘I think you are very brave,’ Tabitha said, smiling weakly. ‘Aunt Cissie said men rule this world and you will show other women that they can run businesses too.’

Matilda smiled at that. Over the last few weeks she and Cissie had spent long hours together not just on simple arithmetic but reading and writing too. Cissie could write a whole shopping list now, and add up a list of figures. Many times Matilda had caught her looking at the reading books Matilda had bought last summer to teach Peter. She seemed determined to master it, perhaps she even hoped she could run a business one day too.

‘Whatever I’m doing down there in California, I will always be thinking about you and Amelia and missing you,’ she said, her voice cracking because it hurt so much to know this was the last night she’d tuck them into bed and kiss them goodnight. ‘I
shall write to you every week and you must write back telling me everything. I’ll come home as often as I can. But it’s going to be hard for a while because there will be so much to do.’

Tabitha nodded. ‘I know, Aunt Cissie explained to me that a big restaurant would take a long time to sort out.’

Matilda was just about to say there was no restaurant when she stopped herself. At no time had she actually told Tabitha, or Sidney for that matter, just what the place would be, only that it was a business venture.

She kissed the child goodnight and went downstairs. Cissie was sitting at the kitchen table copying out a list of words Matilda had given her to learn. Shutting the door behind her, Matilda sat down beside her friend.

‘Why did you tell Tabby it was a restaurant?’ she asked in a quiet voice.

‘Did you tell her different?’ Cissie replied, giving Matilda a sharp look.

Matilda shook her head.

‘Why?’

‘Because I didn’t like to.’

Cissie shrugged. ‘That’s ’xactly why I said it was a restaurant. It sure wouldn’t be too smart to let her go off around the town telling folks her mother owned some sort of hurdy-gurdy place.’

Matilda thought for a moment before replying. Hurdy-gurdy places were only one or two steps up from brothels. The girls employed there danced with men for a few cents a dance. But quite often the girls did sell their bodies too.

‘But you know it’s not going to be like that,’ she said eventually.

Cissie grinned impishly. ‘Sure I do, but God-fearing folk round here have only got to get a sniff of liquor and hear talk of dancing girls and they’ll stick their noses in the air. I reckon it’s best Tabby believes it’s a restaurant, we don’t want no one being mean to her, do we?’

Sudden fear clutched at Matilda’s insides. ‘San Francisco is so different to here, Cissie. It’s so wild and free from hypocrisy that it makes you forget how narrow-minded the rest of the world is. When I dreamed this up I didn’t think anyone would think it was shameful.’

Cissie smiled at her worried expression and patted her hand. ‘Neither did I, but then we come from places where folk liked a
bit of liquor and dancin’. We ain’t got that kind of stuff in our heads. If I get to be a hundred I’ll still be wanting folks to have a bit of fun. But I was in the store before Christmas and I heard a couple of ladies gossiping about that French woman that runs the saloon. I kinda knew they’d say the same kind of things about you.’

‘Perhaps I shouldn’t be doing it,’ Matilda said, for the first time thrown into doubt. ‘I don’t suppose Giles would like it.’

‘Giles is dead, God rest him’ Cissie said flatly. ‘I know he were a good man, but he didn’t get to leave nuthin’ for you, or his girls. If’n you ain’t had so much wits and courage, you mighta ended up in bad trouble, Tabby in some orphanage.’

‘I know that, but – ’

Cissie cut her short. ‘Those wits of yourn is what’s left me so comfortable, too. So what I’m sayin’ is go on off and do it. San Francisco sure is a far way from here, and if we makes out it’s a bit more proper than it really is, who’s to know?’

Matilda had to smile. As John had always remarked, Cissie knew how many beans made five!

Matilda looked round the table at her four co-shareholders and felt a surge of gleeful excitement. She thought they made a formidable team. Charles Dubrette with his elegant Southern charm and his extensive knowledge of the law, portly Alderman Henry Slocum who had a finger right on the pulse of this town, and knew how to get things done. The Contessa, privy to just about every businessman’s secrets in town, and Simeon Greenstater who had made a personal fortune building houses in Philadelphia.

Matilda had already studied the architect’s plans Henry had drawn up, and she was astounded how he’d taken her rough, tentative sketches and with his own knowledge of structural work come up with a plan for a building which was practical, attractive, and could be built quickly and cheaply, while pleasing everyone involved.

It was to be a long, low, two-storey brick-built place, with a wide veranda right along the front. The entire ground floor, but for several small rooms at the back, was to be the saloon, with an open staircase going up to a gallery, beyond which was Matilda’s private apartment.

Simeon had suggested using the iron-frame style of building favoured in New York. It was quickly assembled, strong and fire-resistant. Simeon wasn’t an easy man to like. He was brash, tough, and shouted people down when he didn’t agree with him. His loud checked suit, florid colouring, the stink of the oily pomade on his hair and his habit of talking without taking his large cigar out of his mouth were all irritating, yet his knowledge of building was vast. Henry said that when he gave a date for a building to be finished, it could be relied on. He wasn’t given to skimping on sub-standard materials, and the men he employed respected him.

They were holding this meeting in Zandra’s parlour, but she now half-jokingly called it the boardroom, for while Matilda had been away, Zandra had finally decided to retire from her old business. Her boarders had all gone, mostly to a new parlour house further along the street. Their dormitory-style rooms were empty, Matilda was sleeping in one of the three boudoirs where they once took their gentlemen, and Dolores the maid had another one. After a few weeks of rest Zandra’s legs were much better, she was bright-eyed and enthusiastic about the new project and said it had given her a new lease of life.

‘Shall we get on with the business in hand?’ Charles asked, looking to each of them in turn. ‘I’m sure you will all be pleased to know that Mrs Jennings has approved the plans of the building and each of you as her co-shareholders, and is anxious that we start work without delay. Mrs Jennings would like to address you all at this point.’

They all looked to her.

‘First of all I’d like to welcome you all aboard London Lil’s,’ she said, her voice cracking with nerves, even though she’d rehearsed this little speech many times. ‘I hope we will not only be co-shareholders, but friends, and along with making a great deal of money, we’ll enjoy ourselves too.

‘As I believe Charles has already informed you, I have insisted on having a clause written into our agreements that should anyone wish to sell their share in the business at any time, a meeting like this one will be called, and that share offered first to me. This is, as I’m sure you’ll understand, to ensure I do not lose control of the business. But likewise, should I wish to retire at some future date, my share will be offered to all of you before
any outsider is approached. While Charles will be handling the legal side of the business for us, I intend to appoint an independent accountant to look after the books. These of course will be open to all of you for inspection.’

She then went on to outline in more detail her plans for the interior decor and equipment needed and suggested they invite tenders for the supply of glassware, beer and spirits from companies Zandra had previous experience with. She had already explained her idea of the central stage, the long bar and a small dance area to Henry, and he had completed detailed sketches which he passed around for their approval. Matilda pointed out that she would require a wage from the business as once it opened she would be working there constantly, and had to provide for her children, but she also pointed out that each of them would be paid for any services they rendered on submission of a bill.

For over two hours they discussed varying aspects of the business, from the interior decoration to specialist tradesmen who would need to be called in, and agreed they would have a further meeting each Friday evening to discuss the work in progress.

‘I think that covers just about everything,’ Matilda said finally, smiling round at them. ‘Except that I’d like you all to drop the Mrs Jennings title, at least in private. I’m Matty to all of you.’

Zandra rang the bell and Dolores came in with a bottle of champagne and glasses for a toast.

‘To London Lil’s,’ Charles said, raising his glass. ‘May she become a beacon of light, fun and happiness in this town.’

‘To London Lil’s,’ they all repeated, and clinked their glasses.

Everything in San Francisco moved fast, but it was nothing short of miraculous how quickly the building went up. One day there was nothing but a piece of scrubby land, the next the trenches for the foundations were dug. There was a slight delay waiting for the iron frame to arrive by sea, and watching men haul the large heavy pieces up the hill on carts was nerve-racking, as to Matilda at least it seemed impossible to imagine anyone being able to figure out how it all slotted together.

But Simeon and Henry knew exactly what they were doing, and in no time at all their labourers had assembled it and riveted
it together. It stood up above the town like a huge, ugly brown cage, creating a great deal of both laughter and suspicion. But then the bricklayers began work, and each day it began to look just a little more like Henry’s drawings. Fortunately the weather all through February and March remained mild, with very little rain, and the miners who’d come down from the mountains for a break from the freezing conditions up there were glad of a few weeks’ work. By mid-March Matilda was able to climb up a ladder to view the shell of her private apartment, and the view of the bay from what would be her parlour window. Although there was no roof at that stage, only timber, it was exciting enough to help ease the pain she felt at being away from her children.

Tabitha wrote every week, and mostly there was a page from Cissie too, proving she was taking her lessons seriously. Amelia had begun to walk, as long as she had something to hold on to, she had several more teeth, and liked to feed herself now, making a fearful mess. Sidney wasn’t very happy at the sawmill. Cissie called the owner an ‘arse-wipe’ because instead of teaching the lad new skills, he treated him like a labourer, fetching and carrying, but never trusting him to plane or saw timber. She said she was now going to church, because it was a good excuse to buy a pretty hat.

Reading between the lines, it was clear Cissie was very much happier. Moving to town had relieved her of so much hard work and anxiety, and there were less painful reminders of John. She had time to make friends with other women, she was financially secure, and she felt safer knowing she had neighbours close by. Although she said in every letter that she missed Matilda terribly, there was no hint of real loneliness.

Tabitha’s letters were full of all the little details of their life together that Cissie’s never touched on. Treacle had fathered a litter of puppies with a bitch further along their street. She said they were so sweet she wanted to have all of them, but the owners of the bitch were cross with Cissie for letting Treacle wander around the town, so Sidney had built him a kennel in the garden and repaired the fence. Peter was getting on very well at school, he was the best reader of his age and he had a friend called Tom. She described how Susanna would look at a book and pretend to read it, but it was often upside down. She
kept insisting she was a big girl now and that she thought she ought to go to school too. But of all the things which pleased Matilda in Tabitha’s letters, her obvious contentment in her new life was the best. She spoke about the shops, watching the blacksmith, walking along the river bank, her teacher at school and new things she’d learnt, and it was clear she felt happy and confident.

The days just weren’t long enough for Matilda. From early morning till late at night she was busy choosing furnishings, seeing commercial travellers’ samples of everything from glasses and oil lamps to chairs, sitting in at auditions with entertainers, looking out for the right staff to help her run the place. There were terrible panics when things ordered didn’t turn up, anger when inferior items were substituted, and frustration when Henry or Simeon said part of the building work wasn’t right.

Henry and Simeon hardly left the site. They always seemed to be arguing over some small detail, the carving on the banisters going up to the gallery, the design on the glazed doors, the exact length of the bar, and the height of the mirrors behind it.