Never Say Never (9 page)

She rolls her eyes. “Over there, by the player.”

I carefully open the case and place the CD into the player and hit play. Just as I do this, her phone rings. I hit pause, as she looks down at her cell.

She whispers, “Lauren, what could she want?”

OH NO!

I hear her say, “Hey, Lauren, what’s up?”

That’s all I hear and then I hear her say, “Whatever Barbie.”

She turns her face back to me, looking up, sad.

“Get out Cameron....now!”

“Who was that?” I ask

“Your girlfriend, the fake Barbie doll that you hang out with.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, let me explain,” I beg.

“There’s nothing to explain, you don’t owe me one. We’re not a couple, and we never will be. Get it through your head,” she yells.

She turns toward her door, and I’m pissed at Stephanie and myself. I walk over, and grab her chin forcing her to look at me.

“Please, give me one chance, that’s all I’m asking for?”

“No.”

I sigh, but I can’t resist those heart shaped lips. I lean in to kiss her, forcing her hands down at her sides. I hold them down, because I don’t want her to push me away. She doesn’t move. I kiss her, and then pull away, touching her face.

“Good-bye...for now.”

I feel horrible as I make my way home, not knowing if it’s the beer making me feel this way or the fact that I got blown off again. That little stunt from Stephanie, pulled Kat even further away.

KAT

The nerve of him to come to my house so late at night, after kissing Stephanie. Is he delusional? I ask myself as I stare at my stereo, knowing the CD is in there, waiting for me to hit play.

I lay on my bed, focusing on my cell and dial. It’s ringing and ringing. God pick up all ready.

“Hey, Jess it’s me, I need your help,” I say.

“Kat, it’s like one in the morning, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, sorry. I kinda forgot about the time difference.”

“It’s okay. Spill,” she says, knowing I would only call this late with major gossip.

After I finish the entire story, she is on the phone pleading with me to do the unthinkable. I roll off my bed, toward the stereo, as my finger rests on the play button.

I can’t think of anything else, I can feel my heartbeat pulsing on the tip of my finger.

“Would you just hit play, for god sakes,” she says.

“You realize if I listen to this, it’s not going to change anything, right?”

“Kat, hit play now and hold the phone to the speaker,” she demands.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath and hit the tiny black button. The only thing I can hear is the sound of a guitar strumming softly, before I hear his voice. At first I don’t recognize the words, but then as the chorus gets closer, I know the song he is singing to me. I hear the words as they pour out from the speaker; Because I’ve kept my heart under control, but all this time is taking it’s toll, I want you and you just have to know.

I stare down at my hand, realizing that I’m still holding my cell up to the stereo. I hit stop, and pull the phone back up to my ear. “Did you hear that?” I ask.

“Oh, my God. Kat, I’m seriously going to need a photo of this guy.”

“And, how the hell would you propose I do that?” I ask, as the sound of his voice is still whirling inside of my head.

“I don’t know. He seems so sweet. You have to give him a chance.”

As she’s talking, I realize I’ve chewed off the last of my nail polish, nervously.

“Kat, you there?”

“Yeah, I gotta get going.”

“Wait. What are you gonna do about Cameron?”

“Nothing. Good-bye Jess,” I say, as I flip my cell closed.

I’m still standing by the stereo, as I throw my cell onto the bed. I glance back at the play button, wanting to push it back down, but I don’t. This is getting complicated, too complicated for me. Sure, one year ago, this would have been a no brainer. Now it’s not that easy. This guy gets under my skin like no other boy ever has. Still, I feel compelled to stay away from him. He and Barbie hooked up tonight, that’s all she told me and that was enough for me.

I know in the future I’ll open myself up, but I was sure I couldn’t do this with him. I was leaving for Arizona State, and he’s gonna be leaving for Colorado, if he gets in. He still hasn’t received his acceptance letter. The chance of us remaining anything more than what we are, is slim to none. Granted, we would be in the same time zone, but one too many hours away from each other.

I shift my focus to my father for the rest of the weekend. I hadn’t spent any quality time with him, and needed to find out more about Rebecca.

He strolls in somewhere between nine and ten in the morning, with two cups of coffee in his hand. I look up from my Chemistry homework, as he walks toward me smiling with his hand held out.

“Got your favorite.”

“Thanks,” I pause briefly. “Daddy, let’s go into the city today?”

“You want to do something with your old man, huh?” He asks.

I nod, tilting my head. “Yeah, we can walk around, go shopping, have dinner at some fancy restaurant. It’ll be great,” I say, as I take a sip from my cinnamon latte.

I see him glance down at his watch. He opens his Blackberry, pushing at different keys, then looks back up at me.

“All right Kitty Kat, I’m yours for the whole day,” he tells me, winking.

“Awesome. I just need ten minutes and I’ll be ready,” I say, as I spring from the stool and run two steps at a time to the upstairs. I haven’t spent any time with my father in a really long time. I can’t help but grin. I’m happy.

The day is going amazing, we’re walking along Michigan Avenue, making our way to a little Italian restaurant. The rooms are painted gold, sconces hanging on the walls. As I’m looking around, not paying any attention to anyone, I hear my father talking to the Maitre’d.

“Table for three.” Did he just ask for a table for three? Different things are running through my head as she walks in. She is about to ruin my perfect day. I roll my eyes, screaming mad that he could spring this on me. I wanted to hit him up for information about this woman. Now, how the hell am I supposed to do that?

“What is she doing here?” I snap.

“I asked her Kat, she lives downtown and besides she wants to get to know you,” he informs me, guiding me toward her.

“Lucky me.”

He forces a smile, “Be nice, Kat.”

***

I’m sitting in the Range Rover, watching him say his farewells to her, my lips pursed. I could literally spit fire at this point. Dinner was horrible, I could barley eat the Rigatoni that I ordered. I see him walk around the car, and open it. I place my iPod buds in my ears and turn my head staring out the window.

I feel his arm rest on my shoulder before he pulls the wire out from ear. “Kat, everything all right?”

I turn, and scream. “All right, no it’s not all right. First Mom leaves us, then you move us to this God forsaken place away from my friends, and now Rebecca. You can’t be serious, Dad. What is she like twenty-five for Christ sake?” I’m staring right through him, not quite sure how I got all that out without breathing. I sigh, letting out a huge breath.

“Do you have everything off your chest now?” He asks.

“For now,” I mumble.

“Katherine, I’m sorry if you don’t like Rebecca. She’s in my life and has been for a while. I really love her Kat. I need you to embrace her a little better for me, kiddo,” he says, as he pats me on the head like I’m five.

I look up, he’s staring at me, waiting for an answer. His hands are wrapped around the steering wheel, his body is turned toward mine.

“I’ll try,” I mumble.

I look out the window, and place the wires back in my ear. I shut my eyes for the entire ride. I don’t say another word, nor does he. Conversation over.

CAMERON

This weekend was torture. I can’t believe I kissed Stephanie. Even worse, I can’t believe I ran to Kat. Drunk. I mean what was I expecting, a warm welcome from her? My fate was doomed the minute I kissed Steph at the party. No love song on a CD is going to change Kat’s stubborn mind. She’s one tough girl, and now I have to dig deep into the heavy artillery if I ever want her again. Of course I want her. She’s the only thing I can think of day in and day out. The question is how can I unseal my doomed fate?

I am normally pumped to walk into History, so I can see her. Today, I’m not feeling it. I sit in my usual spot, hunched over to avoid looking into those eyes. This is the first time that I am not looking forward to see her waltz in. For three months I ran to History class to catch a glimpse of her, to talk to her. Today, I can’t even face her. I behaved like a complete asshole. I have been trying so hard to prove Kat’s theory about me to be wrong. I am one of the good guys, not some jerk. Friday night, in her eyes, I proved her theory to be true. I’m the asshole. For the first time, I kind of feel like one.

I see her shuffle in, her bag flung over her shoulder. The brief look at her face, tells me she looks a little sad today. I force my eyes to the ground, afraid to see those lips, those eyes. Because I know those brown eyes make my heart stop when I look into them. I lose all control. I watch her take her seat next to Gabby. My mind starts racing, wondering if Gabby will come through for me. I sit back wondering if Kat listened to the song last night. I wondered if she’d even give me another chance. I wondered what it would be like to kiss her just once more. Would she taste like cinnamon, again? I sit there thinking of nothing else, when I hear my name being called.

“Mr. Tate, can you please answer the question?” Mrs. McLaughlin asks.

I sit up, shaking my head to bring me back to reality. Most of the class is now focused on me, except Kat. The only person I do want to focus on me.

“I’m sorry. What was the question again?” I ask.

***

My head is still in the clouds as I make my way through the halls. I see Stephanie smiling from ear to ear like she has some sort of secret no one knows about. She’s walking closer, her steps quick, almost skipping.

“Hey, Cam,” she says, as she waves her hand furiously through the air.

I know it’s my fault. I led her on with the kiss, But seriously, I need to get away from this chick. I don’t answer. I turn my face and with a faster pace than usual I high tail it to next period.

I know she’ll be in the cafeteria in one more hour. I know I need to sit at the table with my friends, but I wait, standing at the food counter. I see her stroll in with Gabby. She drops her bag and makes her way over to the salad bar. I have nothing on my tray, so I make my way over to her. I don’t normally eat salad, but what do I have to lose?

She’s on one side, I’m on the other. She reaches over for the god awful chick peas, as I reach for the tomatoes. The tips of our fingers graze one another.

“Sorry,” I say, leaning over the glass top. Although I’m not sorry.

She looks up at me, eyes cold as ice.

“It’s no problem.”

Even though her eyes are showing pure hate, they still eat at me. I can’t even explain why this girl is getting to me. We had two, okay three semi-encounters, that was it. This feeling I have for her, will not go away. It’s nuts. Every other girl, no problem. Kat, well, she just about drives me crazy. I could get a full erection just hearing her voice. Not so easy to hide in school. I wait for her to say anything else. She doesn’t. I walk over to the same table, I’ve sat in for four years. Defeated. She goes over to hers, sits with Gabby and a few other girls. I sit, twirling my food around, casually watching her as she smiles to her friends. God, why can’t she smile like that for me? I would love to make her smile like that.

Max taps me on the shoulder, “Cam, what’s wrong with you lately?”

I shrug and shake my head. I don’t answer.

“Dude, don’t waste your time. Matt already told us, she’s a tease. She’s not gonna let you in to those panties, or any other dude for that matter,” he says, laughing.

I force a smile.“Shut up, man.”

“What’s so great about this chick? I mean, apart from the obvious,” Max asks.

“Trust me, I wish I could have someone explain it to me. I have no idea. I just want her,” I finally admit, taking a swig from my soda.

“Damn, I ain’t never seen you like this before.”

“Shut up,” I say again, as I raise my voice.

I watch him as he gnaws away at his pizza. I wish I was eating pizza, instead of this crap I added to my plate. He doesn’t say anything else. He just tsk’s and shakes his head.

Schools over. I’m home sulking, trying to figure out my next move. We have our first real gig this weekend. We’re playing at Jimmy’s on the outside patio, if the weather holds out. It’s the end of March. Although it’s been decent for this time of year, it’s not unheard of to see snow. Which I’ll be really pissed, we’ve been busting our asses learning new material. We don’t have any originals, we only play songs that you hear on the radio.