Never Too Late (25 page)

“Come on,” James called to her, sensing her mood. “Let’s get down to the river and walk for a while.”

She grinned at him, her weariness forgotten, and ran to get her fringed silk shawl. She loved the sensuous feel of it on her skin and it would be plenty warm enough for such a lovely summer night.

The late evening air was still balmy, myriad insects luring the bats back and for along the length of the gently flowing water. James held Keela’s hand as they rounded a bend and saw the moonlight sparkling and rippling on the water.

“It’s so beautiful,” she breathed softly.

James turned her to face him. “Not nearly as beautiful as you are to me.” He kissed her softly. “But we have to talk. I won’t make the same mistake as my father – he may well have fatally jeopardised his marriage because he and my mother didn’t communicate for far too many years. You have to trust me, Keela, you have to share with me whatever it is that troubles you so, because I just can’t carry on like this.”

Keela held her fingers over his mouth. “Please, my love,” she pleaded, her eyes troubled. “Don’t spoil a perfect day.”

James pulled her close so he did not have to look at her expression. It had all gone too far and he had to get her agreement to taking the first steps towards sorting out their problems. Too many times he’d allowed her pleas, or her tears, or her tantrums, to turn him aside from his resolve, but they needed help and he was determined that they would get it, and get it soon.

“I love you more than life itself Blackbird, but for your sake as much as mine we have to face facts. Whatever it is that has damaged your psyche won’t go away unless it is brought out into the open. We need to get you some professional treatment, however emotionally traumatic that treatment may prove to be.”

She wrenched herself away from him, her green eyes blazing. “You will NOT dictate to me what I will and will not do! I am a good wife to you and you will show me some respect!”

“But I do respect you!” James tried to take her hands but she was lightning fast and eluded him.

“How is it respecting me to dictate I should go to some kind of loony bin? I won’t go! I won’t! I’ll drown myself here in the river first!”

James raised his hands and dropped them back to his sides in despair. How could he get through to her?

“That really isn’t what I’m suggesting,” he told her. “Let’s just see a therapist and get some advice. I don’t think you need residential care. You’re perfectly normal most of the time, it’s just when you…”

“Not normal am I?” she screeched and lunged at him. The force of her slap to his face resounded over the river. James reeled backwards, his foot slipped on the bank and before he could regain his balance he had fallen into the river, disappearing below the dark water.

“James!”

Keela knelt on the riverbank, frantically searching for signs of James. She reached out hoping to see some sign of him, hoping to be able to grasp a hand and pull him to safety, but there weren’t even any bubbles for what seemed like an eternity.

“James! Don’t leave me!” she pleaded.

Suddenly he burst through the surface several yards downstream and gasped in a huge lungful of air. Keela jumped to her feet and ran to him. He kicked hard and swam back to the bank and Keela was able to help him back out onto the path. He bent over double, hands on his knees, coughing up water.

“That’s a hell of a way to win an argument,” he complained breathlessly.

Keela collapsed in a heap, sobbing wretchedly. “I didn’t mean it!”

“I know my love, I know.” He sat down and took her onto his lap, cradling her head on his shoulder and stroking her hair. “Sssh, now, ssshhh. No harm done.” He kissed her temple. “I’d offer you a hanky if I had a dry one,” he whispered in her ear.

A sob and laugh together became a hiccup.

He rocked her gently for a long time, trying with all his being to give her strength, trying to communicate his love and support. “I’ll be there with you every step of the way.” He lifted her chin and looked deep into her eyes, eyes that still glistened with unshed tears. “We can do this if we do it together. I promise you – we will win through.”

A sob caught in her throat. Un-named, unacknowledged horrors roiled in the depths of her memory. “I’m so frightened!” She trembled violently and tears coursed down her face once more. “Don’t make me do it, please, no!”

“I know you’re frightened, but whatever it is, it only has power over you as long as we don’t face it. We’ll face it together.”

His kiss was gentle but she sensed his determination. He would not be gainsaid, not this time. Slowly she nodded her agreement.

*

It had been a long couple of weeks. Chloe had felt totally drained and for once Friday night found her at home, having put the girls off with some feeble excuse or other, she couldn’t remember what. She stood, arms crossed protectively, by the French windows and stared unseeing at her reflection in the glass, the garden in darkness beyond.

Just what had got into her,
she wondered?

What a stupid, stupid way to behave – with Richard, with Adam, with all the men I date so casually. Just why did that self-destruct button seem to fire so often? I know I lose judgement after very little alcohol, so why do I still drink?

I know how embarrassing it is when I flirt and the man gets the wrong impression. I know how much worse it is when they reject me. So why can’t I show some restraint?
I don’t have to prove anything to anyone – I’m the famous Iain McTavish’s daughter!

Just what do I want from life? If only I could decide that, I might be able to plan how to achieve it. Daddy always gave me anything I wanted, the moment I wanted it. But Daddy couldn’t help me now. Even if he wasn’t in a coma I don’t think he can help me. I’ve got to work this one out by myself.

Oh God! Why did the important decisions have to be so hard? Daddy told me if you want something badly enough you find a way to get it. But he didn’t tell me how to work out what I want. Or even how to work out whether what I think I want is worth the wanting and planning and striving.

Her thoughts strayed back to Adam and how she had responded to his kiss on Box Hill, how she had reached for him as she woke with him beside her. She mentally shook herself.

Don’t be obscene!
she chided herself.
I’s almost incestuous
,
he’s my nearly brother, for goodness’ sake.

Adam and James, James and Adam, always together, inseparable in her mind. Together they had sometimes plagued and sometimes indulged little sis, but they had always both been her protector and mentor. They had taught her how to climb trees and fire slingshots, where the best places were in the river for skinny dipping. It was Adam’s bike she’d fallen from that had left the small scar on her chin.

How could I possibly get the hots for someone who shared my childhood? No! Leave well alone there my girl, it’s just too, too mentally confusing. Plenty of other men out there clamouring for the attention of the beautiful, intelligent, sexy, stylish Miss Chloe McTavish.

Reassured, she drew the blinds and prepared for bed. Another busy week ahead, and it didn’t need any conscious decisions to know that she wanted, no needed, to outshine all her colleagues, male and female alike. And first, a whole weekend of partying, she reminded herself.

*

It had taken quite a search but at last Maggie had found it – the paper that Tom Smithson had written his contact details on back in the hospital. She phoned the number, hoping he’d be in at this time of day, but a woman answered. Deefor seemed to know how nervous she felt. He watched her closely and pushed against her legs. Maggie fondled his ears, grateful for his moral support as the phone was answered.

“Is that Sian?” she asked timidly.

“It is,” a warm voice confirmed. “Who is this?”

“Sorry, I’m Maggie, I met Tom…”

Before she could get any further Sian said, “Maggie! Tom’s told me about you. He’s been hoping you’d call.”

“Oh! How is he now?”

“He’s just fine. The rest did him no end of good. I’ve been telling him for years to take a break, but you can trust my Tom to find a dramatic way of doing anything.” She laughed, a rich, throaty and very infectious laugh. Maggie found herself wondering why she had felt so nervous about making this call. Sian continued, “You would make him one very happy man if you’d take him up on his offer and come visit for a while.”

“That is, actually, why I was phoning. I have to go to Northamptonshire for my husband, next weekend probably. It’s just over the county border from you, and I was wondering if I could stay for a couple of nights? I’d stay in a hotel but I’ll have my dog with me and, to be honest, what I most need is some advice before I make the site visit. For all his jesting, Tom struck me as someone I could trust for an impartial, down to earth, common sense view of the problem.”

“It strikes me,” Sian commented, “that you are a fair judge of character then.”

Maggie was delighted but still a bit concerned. “Are you sure it’s not a bad time for you? And Deefor – that’s my dog – he’s very well behaved but I don’t know for sure what he’ll be like around animals, or what your livestock will make of him, or…”

“Maggie! Slow down! It’ll be absolutely fine. I’ve got a very stroppy nanny goat who’ll put him in his place and no mistake if he even thinks about getting uppity.”

They finalised arrangements for the following Friday then Deefor followed Maggie to her bedroom. She got out her notebook and started one of her lists of things to do – what she would need to pack, who she would need to tell. There was also the list of all the documentation she needed to go over with Richard before the visit, the points she still needed clarification on, the visit to the company’s lawyers on Thursday to check exactly what the situation was as far as the law was concerned, deciding what copies of documents she would need for her visit. She left it on her bedside cabinet as she went to her bathroom, hoping that a long soak and an hour or so reading a novel would help her settle for bedtime. No doubt her list would grow over the next few days, but for now there was no more she could do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

July

Chloe was feeling grumpy as she loaded her car with the exquisitely iced cakes her mother had made for the kennels’ fundraising day. Adam had driven them last time so it was her turn to stay sober and drive today, another reason to resent today’s chore.

Why on earth could Mummy not have delayed her visit to this farmer bloke for just one day I’d like to know? As I see it

1. I didn’t got involved with the kennels - Mummy did

2. I didn’t offer to help - Mummy did

3. If I didn’t offer to help I shouldn’t be the one having to deliver the cakes

4. Just because I’d already arranged to visit Daddy in the hospital, it shouldn’t be taken for granted that I’m prepared for the rest of my day to be taken up running around after other people.

Maggie had been adamant, though, that the situation at Milward Farm was escalating. The sooner she could get there the more chance there would be to defuse it. Unfortunately Adam had been enthusiastic and volunteered their services as soon as Maggie had mentioned her time conflict predicament. Left to her own devices Chloe was certain she would have come up with a good excuse.

As it is, they’d have made me feel a bit of a heel saying no, what with Adam being so darned keen to pitch in, and the fact that Mummy’s trip is all about helping Daddy’s company out of some kind of a bind. Lord knows what she thinks she might achieve, though. She’s never been involved in any business, at any level, in her entire life. It’s certainly most unlike her to be so determined about anything.

Adam came out of the house with a case of wine and placed it in the boot next to the cakes. “Just the beer and the fruit juices and we’re ready to roll,” he told Chloe with a big grin.

“You’re actually looking forward to this!” she accused him as they went back into the house for the last load.

“Too true,” he agreed. “Good food, good drink, good fun and games. Precisely what I’d want to do at the weekend anyway, and this way we get to help fund the rescue of more dogs as fabulous as Deefor.”

Chloe added a couple of bags of ice to the cool bag that held the cartons of juice while Adam picked up the bottled beer. “What’s so ‘fabulous’ about Deefor, anyway? He’s just a dog,” she said, her voice dismissive.

“He may be a very ordinary dog in himself, but look at the change he’s brought about in your mother.”

“What do you mean?”

How to answer? What was the change precisely? Adam looked her over appraisingly. She looked divine in a strapless lemon summer dress with a tight banded bodice that flared and floated out from below her rather delectable bust to handkerchief points at mid-calf level. Yes, of course, that was what he had first noticed without realising it…

“You know how your mother always dressed according to what your Dad expected of her?”

Chloe nodded slowly, wondering where this was leading.

“Well, have you noticed how she’s started developing her own style instead? It’s only since she’s had Deefor that she’s had the confidence to do that.”

“Don’t be daft – she’s dressing differently because she has to take him out for walks and things.”

“OK, so you don’t accept that, even though it’s a fact.” He put the last box in the car and turned to her as she shut and locked the house door behind them. “But what about this trip to talk to those eco-warriors? She’d never have had the confidence to do that without Deefor at her side. He seems to sort of settle her, to let her believe that what she wants, and what she has to say, counts too. She wanted Deefor, she got him without your Dad’s knowledge or ‘permission’, and their relationship is working well. She made a good decision and now she’s ready to make more.”