Nevermor (66 page)

“Of course I
will,” he promised, wiping her tear away.

“And you have to
promise me that you’ll remember what happened this time.  If you forget,
he
might
come back again.  You faced your fear.  You have to hold onto that.”

“I will.  I know
that I have to.”

They were silent
a moment, as if he was afraid of what she would say if he led her on too far.

“I want you to
promise me something else.”

“What’s that?”
he asked, holding her close.  She felt that he was being sincere.

“Promise me I’ll
forget this pain.”

He brushed back
her curls, nodding.  “If that’s what you want, you will.”

Wren wasn’t sure
which was better anymore.  Was it best to deal with impossible pain for the
sake of a few good memories?  Maybe it was easier to forget – maybe the only
way to go on.

“I don’t know
what I want.  I don’t want to forget, but yet I don’t know if I can live with
it.”

“I know that
feeling,” he said with a sigh.  “I made my choices about my past.  You should
make your own.”

She looked into
his eyes, and she could see that he had relented.  He was no longer insistent
on holding her to the Vow.  He was reserved as he looked at her, looking
shamed, even though he had conquered.  Things were still not right with him,
and it was because of her.  She knew that.  He still needed her acceptance –
her forgiveness.

“I’ll take you
back if you still want to go.”  He looked at the ground, afraid of seeing her
face when she answered.

Wren couldn’t
believe how calmly he’d said that.  It was the first time she was sure that he
cared what she wanted.  She threw her arms around his neck, and he embraced her
with surprise.  They held each other for a while without saying anything, but
Wren knew what her answer was.

“I don’t really
want to leave you,” she said finally against his throat.  “I suppose, maybe, I
just wanted you to convince me otherwise.”

“So, you do want
to stay?” he asked, unfolding her with a hopeful expression.

“There’s no life
for me back there,” she said, knowing it to be the truth. 
But…
  “But
there is something that I have to do first.”

“Just say it,”
he urged.  “I’ll make sure that it happens.”

Wren looked back
toward where the others were gathered around the fire, focusing her eyes on her
younger brother, who was dashing about, carefree in the midst of it all.

“I don’t have a
life back there, but Max does.  He can grow up and things will be good for
him.  He’ll forget all of this and be happy.  I have to make sure that he gets
that.”

Rifter looked
disapproving, but he nodded.  “You want to take him back.”

“I need to make
sure that he can still be adopted by that family.  I don’t think the month has
passed yet.  Maybe it’s not too late.”

Wren knew this
went against everything that Rifter believed in, but how was it such a leap
from what he had promised her?

“How long do you
need?” he asked, consenting.

“A day or two,
perhaps.  You can come back for me soon.  Just promise that you won’t forget
about me,” she begged, looking at him with desperate need.

“I might have
forgotten a lot of things, but I could never forget you,” he swore, and she was
glad to hear him say it.  “When you come back, things will be different.  Life
will be better, like it should be.”

She let him kiss
her, and felt some degree of comfort in that.  She was at least convinced
enough that he cared for her, and she would deal with the rest as time went
on.  There was no need to have him completely figured out in order to know that
she loved him.

There was plenty
of time.

3

Rifter held Wren
close, relieved enough that he could appreciate her willingness to stay.  He
wasn’t sure what to do with the things he had learned, but he knew that she
could help him work past it.  He needed her beside him, and whatever had been
wrong between them could be fixed.

Lifting his
eyes, he looked out over the sea, watching the waves tumble in, listening to
the ocean
breathe.
  Perhaps there were dreamers out there in the
distance, searching.  Some of them might even find the island without being
called, but he didn’t have to seek others.  He had all that he needed here with
him now – his family.

He grasped Wren
a bit tighter and closed his eyes against her hair.  All along, he had known
she was important.  He had called her here not only because she needed an
escape, but because
he needed her
.  Without her, perhaps he would never
have remembered.  Now he had to swear that he would not forget.

Silently, he thanked
the sea.  It had done a lot for him – assured that he wasn’t alone here.  It
had given him brothers; given him Wren.  All of them that he had chosen were
important.  They were more than just companions.  They were his lifeline.

He owed it to
them all to stay strong this time.  The past was over and done.  As long as he
was focused, they would be behind him.

He would try not
to take that for granted.

1

Not much had
changed in London since Wren and her brothers had been gone.  The factories
were still billowing black smoke and children still marched to them daily.  Of
course the fog remained.  Miss Nora’s Home for Wayward Children was still
standing in the exact spot it had been left, and life there was not much
different.

As on every day
before, Nora was at her desk, busily balancing accounts, making inventory lists
and seeing to whatever business needed her attention.  She was alone in this,
but endured the solitude.  Though she could have had a multitude of adoring
children at her feet, she chose to be alone.

Nora had never
considered herself to be a cold woman.  Hadn’t she done her duty by the
children?  She gave them more than they would ever get in the workhouse or on
the street.  Why would any of them want to run away from that?

Some did,
apparently, and she had recently lost three of them to the misconception that
the grass would be greener.  It baffled her, but there was nothing that she
could do.  She merely had to shake her head at it and continue on with her own
life.  Unfulfilling as it was, at least she had a roof over her head.

She had just
dipped her pen once more when a bump at the threshold drew her attention.  Nora
lifted her eyes from her letters and jerked back with a start at the pale
apparition in her doorway.

The girl was
standing there in nothing but a tattered gown, wide-eyed, but somehow healthier
than when she’d left.  The dark circles were gone from beneath her eyes and her
skin boasted a glow that only the sun could offer.  She was holding a young boy
in her arms who looked positively wild, without a shirt or shoes, covered in
dirt and something that looked like red paint.

“Wren!” the
woman gasped.  “In God’s name, where have you been?”

These two looked
as though they had been living in the woods for weeks.  That was impossible,
and yet they could not have been living on the city street.  They were a
different kind of dirty, stained and
earthy.

“You were
right,” Wren said immediately.  “You were absolutely right before.  I was being
selfish.”

“Where is
Henry?” Nora asked suspiciously.  The girl ignored her.

“I want Max to
have a good life,” she said.  “I want him to grow up.”

It seemed like a
very odd thing for her to say.  Nora looked at her skeptically, wrinkling her
pasty forehead.

“Could you let
that family know he’s still here?” Wren asked.  “They can come get him.  It’s
not too late.”

“And what of
you?” Nora asked her.  “Did you intend to come back?  I’ve already filled your
bed.”

Wren stared at
her, her eyes wide and damp like a doe’s.

“Could you just
put me up for long enough to see Max off, and then I’ll leave,” she bargained. 
“I’ll sleep on the floor until then.  Just please tell me it’s not too late for
them to take him!”

Nora appraised
her carefully, keeping her own expression firm.  This girl was not one of hers
any longer.  She owed the child nothing, yet there was a tiny prick in her
heart that bled for this one.  She’d seen a lot of children come and go; she
couldn’t afford to be too sensitive, but…

Nora sighed. 
“It was foolish of you to leave in the first place.  I think I could have made
things work for you, Wren.  Perhaps not for Henry, but for you.  As for Max, I
never sent a letter to the Ausbrooks to say that he was gone.”

The girl lit
with hope, and looking on it now, Nora saw a hint of the childish innocence
that had long since left that face.

“I thought that
if they went through the trouble to come back, they might at least take one of
the others,” Nora went on.  “I suppose you came back at just the right time. 
They’re scheduled to arrive tomorrow.”

Wren looked as
though she had been handed a second chance at life.  She had, Nora guessed, and
she was a lucky one.  Her brother Henry must have decided not to come back –
that his chances out there were better – but Wren had finally realized the way
her life had to be.  She had few choices in the end if she wanted to live.  She
had learned that there was no sense in fighting.

“You can stay
here until they come for him,” Nora told her.  “After that, perhaps we’ll see
what we can do with you.”

Wren didn’t even
seem to hear the last part of that.

“Thank you so
much!” she gushed.  She was starting to tear up, but Nora didn’t need to see
that.

“Go clean up and
dress yourselves properly.  You know your way around.  And for heaven’s sake,
attempt
to do something with his hair!”

Wren hurried out
and left Nora there, shaking her head in confusion.  She didn’t know where the
children had been and she wouldn’t ask.  Nora was surprised that they had
returned, but she knew Wren wasn’t meant for that sort of life.  Sometimes it
only took a different sort of experience to put one’s priorities in order.

2

The other
children were glad to see that Wren had returned, showering her with hugs and
kisses that she received blankly.  When they asked about Henry, she told them
that he was in a happier place, and she tried not to cry.  They asked her a
great many questions about Nevermor, always believing that was where she had
gone.  They wanted her to tell them about her time there, but all she would say
was that it had been a nice dream.

Max seemed
confused to be back at the Home again, as if he had already forgotten that he
had lived here before.  When Wren looked at the dormitory again, lined with all
their small beds, she wondered if it was still familiar to her.  Had it always
looked this way, so dismal and gloomy?  After her days in the sun, being
confined here seemed like a terrible punishment.

Though the
others were vying for her attention, she kept to herself as much as possible. 
She did not belong among them any longer, and it would be harder to say goodbye
if she came back so fully.  She remained distant, and that night, she told Max
of his own fate.

“Tomorrow,
you’re going to get a new family,” she said, trying to smile.  “They’re going
to take you to a beautiful house, and you’re going to have everything you’ve
always wanted.”

“Aren’t you
coming too?” he asked innocently.  Wren shook her head, trying to be
encouraging even though her heart was breaking.

“No, I can’t go
with you.”

“Who’s going to
protect you?” he wanted to know.

“Don’t worry
about me.  I’m going to be with Rifter and the others.  They’ll look after me.”

Max looked very
confused, his young brow furrowing, and she saw the first signs that tears were
going to erupt.

“Listen,” she
urged him, giving him a playful shake, “you’re getting a better life.  You’re
going to get a mommy and daddy who love you, and you won’t have to worry about
the nightmares anymore.”

“But I want to
go with you,” he whined forlornly.

“I need you to
be brave,” she encouraged him.  “Pretty soon, you’ll forget all about it, and
you won’t remember anything except how happy you are and how much you love your
new family.”

“Will I ever see
you again?”

“I’ll always be
close,” she said, smiling at him sincerely.  “If ever you want to see me, just
close your eyes, and I’ll be there in your dreams.  As long as you hold onto
that memory, I’ll be with you.”

Max threw his
arms around her then, and she was surprised at how she held back her tears. 
Her own words had consoled her somehow, and she felt that if she could just
hold onto her memories of him, he would be there with her, unchanged forever.