New Beginnings (14 page)

“Talk to me,” he pleaded. Hell, he begged,
and he didn’t care. He just wanted to get an answer from her.

She pushed past him and slammed the door
before turning back to him. “I’m pissed because this wasn’t the
plan. I left San Francisco so I wouldn’t be tied down by my fucking
Alpha, and now here I am, tied down by you.”

“No, Jess. That’s not the case. If I was
going to tie you down like that, I would have chased you when you
left. I let you go. I didn’t call and command you to come back. I
didn’t demand you turn around and lock the damned windows, or
anything. I left when you told me to. I don’t want a submissive
wolf. I want a partner. What do I have to do to prove that?”

“I don’t know.” She walked away and stared
out the back window. “I just don’t know.”

“Should I leave?”

“No. That doesn’t solve anything” She
thumped her head against the frame.

“I would if that was what you wanted.” It
might kill him, but he would do it if she asked.

“You talk. What do you envision this
as?”

He sat down on the couch. “I told you. I see
us as equals.”

“No orders?” She finally turned to look at
him but she had her hands on her hips and was definitely
challenging him.

“You’re new to the pack so you don’t know
this, but I don’t order my people around. Not unless there is a
really damned good reason. The pack works well together with the
exception of Liam at the moment. I will occasionally ask my
enforcers to do something or even keep an eye on someone but if
they have a concern they express it and we discuss a solution. I
may be the leader, but I’m not a tyrant.”

“I know.” She sighed. “You could have forced
the issue since I moved in.”

“Have you seen anything to make you think
I’ll hurt you?” God, he hoped not. He never wanted to hurt her.

* * * *

Jess just stared at him for a long moment,
trying to force a vision of anything that didn’t involve sex or him
crying over her half-dead body. Nothing would come, not a damned
thing other than the start of a headache.

If she was being honest, the mate thing
scared the hell out of her. She didn’t do relationships because
they never worked in the past. Maybe she couldn’t see things
working because she didn’t know how they worked.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the
wall. “All I see between us is sex, screwing and fucking. If you
haven’t figured it out, I like sex, but I want more from my mate
than orgasms. I need something real.”

He threw up his hands and glared at her. “Is
there any chance that you are unwilling to see any possible good
between us?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to
mean?”

“That neither of us wanted a mate, and yet
here we are.”

“And there’s the problem.” She wasn’t
dealing with this bullshit though. Fuck the bar. She’d find
somewhere she could go lone wolf and forget all about her type. She
spun on her heel and stormed to her room, slamming the door in his
face.

He pounded his hand against the door. “Jess,
we need to talk. Don’t shut me out.”

“Go to hell.”

He growled, “How about you have a real
conversation with me instead of jumping to conclusions?”

“Why? You’re right. I don’t want this, and
obviously
you
don’t either.”

“Wrong. I did not want this
before
I
met you, hell even until earlier today. Not because I didn’t want
you. I’ve wanted you since the second I heard you on the
phone.”

“Whatever.”

“I had a mate, I lost her, and I know what
it feels like. I never wanted to risk that again.”

Shit, he was right. Shards of guilt shredded
through her chest and she opened the door but crossed her arms over
her chest, hoping to protect her heart.

He stared at her with his intense gray eyes.
Her resolve started to melt. How was she supposed to resist him
when his heart and soul were right there in his gaze? And when the
hell did he develop real feelings beyond just lust? Had she?

Yeah, because she kept imagining all the
ways he could screw up and it hurt. What a damned mess, but she
refused to go down without a fight. She needed to set her
boundaries, and do it now before the big bad Alpha did it for
her.

There was no way she would roll over and let
him take charge. She was opening the bar. She was going to have her
own life. Okay, maybe in the bedroom he could take control half the
time, but she liked things her way too much to ever let him have
all the say even there.

“Talk to me, Jess.”

Right, she needed to woman up and put her
foot down. Still, she almost cringed when her voice cracked. “So
why now? Why me?”

“You woke me up from an old nightmare I
hadn’t had in years. Your voice wrapped around me, pulling me back
to the present before I could drown in the past. You changed
everything for the better. Only you.” It was so damned sincere that
her defenses cracked.

She let out her breath slowly before asking.
“What makes you so sure I’m good for you?”

“Jess.” He exhaled, smiling slightly. “You
walked into my life and took over every thought, every dream, every
desire. What the hell else can I say? I want you, all of you. I
want to know all of your secrets, your dreams, your hopes, and make
them all come true.”

That wasn’t what she expected. “What?” Jess
whispered.

He closed the distance and tipped her head
back to peer into her soul. “Talk to me, Jess. Is it possible you
haven’t given yourself the chance to see more because you’re
terrified?”

“Maybe,” she breathed the word.

His fingers traced along her jaw before
threading into her hair. “Think you can give me a chance? I don’t
want this to be a secret, but for the moment it needs to be. I
swear to you I won’t touch another woman. Just please, Jess, give
me a chance.”

“Okay.” Like she could say anything else
when he was tearing down every fear she had.

He trailed his nose down hers and rested his
forehead against hers. “Give us a little time. I know there’s more
under the surface. I already feel it even if you don’t. Maybe
you’re fighting too hard.”

He was right. If he was going to hurt her,
she would have seen it by now. It was always one of the first
things she saw. It was how she avoided shittastic
relationships.

“Maybe.” She couldn’t bring herself to admit
she believed him.

“What do we do?” He whispered, his breath
fanning her lips.

“Take it one step at a time. I mean we can’t
tell the pack. So that leaves us in a sticky situation. I assume
you have someone watching around here. So I don’t know that us
staying together is the wisest decision.”

“With the exception of Liam, I told the rest
of my enforcers.” He leaned back to look into her eyes. “It was for
your protection. They know Liam is acting up. They needed to know
why you were so important to me.”

“Okay.” She answered simply. She wasn’t
going to argue with that. This was his pack. He had run it for
years, so it made sense to let him make that call. Packs were meant
to protect each other and she had a really bad feeling about
Liam.

He almost smiled as his head tilted. “I
expected an argument on that.”

“I’m not stupid. I get that Liam is a
threat. I may not have dealt with it the way you would have liked,
but I left when you assumed Liam was coming here. I took myself out
of his reach.”

“I wish you had locked your windows. He was
going to climb inside, but Clint came by to
drop
something
off and he left.”

“Clint?” Jess frowned. She had met the guy
exactly once, and only briefly. She couldn’t think of anything he
would have to deliver. “Oh, one of the enforcers. So you were
watching.”

His broad shoulders rose and fell with his
sigh. “We both were. He made sure Liam didn’t get inside.”

“Well, lesson learned.” She pushed a hand
through her hair. “I like my windows open, especially when it has
been this warm.”

“I could invest in AC.”

She shook her head. “I like fresh air.
Besides, I’m positive he’s going to wait until a busy night to make
his move.”

“Opening night.” He frowned. “I’ll just make
sure everyone I can trust is there to put a stop to whatever he
might have planned.”

“Couldn’t you just use your Alpha voice to
command him not to do something?”

He shook his head. “I’m positive he would
find a way around it. He’s an old crafty wolf who came from an
abusive pack. If anyone could find a way out of a command, it’s
him.”

“What about the hunt? Would it be best if I
go somewhere else?”

“Why?” He frowned.

“Well, you don’t want the pack knowing.
Right? If we’re both there, are you going to be able to act as if
nothing has happened?”

“To protect you? Yes.” He watched her
carefully, waiting for her to choose.

He wasn’t like any other Alpha she was used
to. Hell, he wasn’t like any male wolf she ever knew. Maybe that’s
why her wolf chose him.

His quiet study of her wore down her
resolve. There was no trace of a lie in what he said.

“Do you want me there?”

“Yes. I want you at the hunt. I want you in
my life. If not in my home and in my bed, then I want you with me
when you have time so you can get to know me. I want to earn your
trust. I wasn’t trying to order you around earlier. I wanted you to
be safe. That’s all.”

“Okay. Then where do you suppose we sleep
tonight? Do you think you’ll have any visitors?”

He shook his head. We may hear from the
other enforcers, but we won’t see Liam. He went home and hasn’t
left since. If he does, we’ll know where he’s going. So why don’t I
show you the shortcut to my place? It’s through the woods, and if
you are interested in staying with me, you can take what you need
for the morning. If not, I’ll walk you back later.”

She wanted to be with him. Heck, she was
afraid he didn’t want to be with her. “If we’re mated, we may as
well get used to each other.”

“Good, because I meant what I said about
wanting to savor you.”

A shiver traveled down her spine. “Lock the
windows, please. I’ll be right out.”

* * * *

Slater was in the kitchen making dinner.
Jess liked to hunt so he chose to cook the venison he had thawed
earlier. He flipped the steaks and moved to the counter to watch as
she studied his book shelf with an admiring smile. He liked the way
she brushed her fingers over the spines, reading the titles.

One pale eyebrow arched as he looked over
her shoulder. “Interesting mix.”

He nodded, a crooked grin spreading.
Everything from the classics, to science fiction, and even a few
romances sat on his shelves. “I like to read.”

“I see that. All of the books are well worn
and smell of you.” She closed her eyes and breathed deep. “I like
your scent.”

“You do?” He licked his lips.

“I do.” She turned toward him and nodded.
“And dinner smells fantastic. In fact, I’m pleasantly surprised. I
wasn’t sure what to expect of your culinary skills.” He sure did
love the teasing lilt in her tone.

He wondered if Gregory ever cooked for her.
Then again, that putz probably only had one thing in mind, and that
was getting Jess under him. Well, there would be no more of that.
“I’m a decent cook.”

“Going by smell alone, I’d have to agree.”
She crossed the room and leaned against the counter just out of his
reach.

Slater was dying to reach over and touch
her. He wanted to take her into his arms and feel her body against
his. He’d start at her mouth and taste every inch of her
perfection.

“What are you thinking?” She asked
coyly.

“About all the ways I want to explore you.
Where I want to start, what I want to do.”

“Mmm. Now I’m not one of those women who
will just lay back and let you have your way. I want in on the
action too. So just keep that in mind.”

“Oh, honey, I have no doubt about that. In
fact, I’ll let you do anything you want to me.” He winked.

She closed in and tiptoed up to nip his lip.
“Good, I’ll have to remember that.” She brushed her fingers down
his chest and then his abs. “Though, I should let you finish
cooking. I’m just going to sit right here and enjoy the view.” She
walked to the table and took a seat.

“I’ll just have to hurry then,” he
murmured.

* * * *

Liam sat on the corner of the massive bed,
staring at the center where Raj would lay, talking to him late into
the night. He still didn’t know whether to miss the man or be glad
he was gone. So much had happened between them, and he was left
wrecked when Hayden spilled his brains in the damned bar.

So many nights were spent with Raj in this
very room, the man who tore him down only to build him up into
someone better. Someone who wanted respect, but his loyalty to
Slater held him back. For decades Slater had come to him with his
concerns, but not now.

Before Raj joined the pack, Liam could
ignore the voices. Somewhere along the way Raj made him realize the
voices would help him if he just listened.

They weren’t instant friends. Raj challenged
him almost immediately. Liam earned Raj’s respect when he beat him
into the ground.

He could still remember Raj coming to his
first hunt, after his injuries had healed.

Raj gracefully walked into the ring of
wolves. He was tall, dark and exotic, and the most beautiful being
Liam had ever seen.

Kneeling at Liam
’s feet, he said,
“I humbly submit to you, Liam Collins. I apologize for my
arrogance. I was wrong.”

Quiet settled over the pack, and Slater
watched thoughtfully.

The Alpha
’s power rolled through
the pack, causing everyone to shiver. “Raj, remember this is not
your old pack, and you will do just fine. If you have a problem
with one of my wolves in the future, you will come to me, instead
of forcing a challenge. If not, the next challenge will come
directly from me.”