New Title 4 (5 page)
Authors: Derek Goodman
The first order of business was to search for clues, and while Caleb scoured the bathroom Gloria moved out into the hall and took a closer look at what was left of the door. She kept telling herself that this wasn t going to be that hard, that they could take care of this just as easily as she did with any other semi-important apocalypse she sought out on the Hill. The list of stolen items kept going through her mind, however, and she had to force herself from showing signs of the paralyzing fear she was beginning to feel.
She remembered most of the items from when she had worked at the OneStop, and a few of the others she had learned of later. In truth, few of them had ever seemed very threatening in the past, but now that she thought of it that was probably because these objects of unspeakable power had been wielded by dumbasses. Most people with delusions of taking over the world were idiots, in her opinion, since after the artifacts were done doing their things there wouldn t be a whole hell of a lot of world left over to rule. World domination was seldom thought out very well.
But in most of those past instances she had been able to see her opponent and, while almost always weird or creepy, none of those people had ever been her match. Caleb had accused her once of playing the beastie hunter on the Hill simply because she didn t take it seriously and thought it was all fun, and he wasn t entirely wrong. But, on a deeper level she was embarrassed to admit to everyone else, she felt that she had to do it to prove how much better she was than all the creepy crawlies, whether they were human or non-human. She d had lots of instances in her life where people hadn t taken her seriously, whether it was because she was a woman or because of her race or even because she was a stripper. Fighting monsters was a way for her to exert some control over the world like she hadn t been able to before, to force everyone to take her seriously, even if she didn t take anyone else seriously.
So it was different when she wasn t sure yet who her opponent was. She couldn t look him or her or it in the eye and try to find a weak spot. And even if she did, twelve world-destroying artifacts were enough to set the odds against her.
She wanted to blame Caleb for this, to say that his pride had resulted in this horrifying problem, but she had the suspicion that would be the pot calling the kettle black.
Now was not the time for that, however. Now was the time to focus on her surroundings, take in the situation and break it down in such a way that she could easily deal with it. And to start with, that meant inspecting the door.
The first thing she noticed was that there were very few wooden shards from the door inside the apartment. Most of them were out in the hall. The door didn t look like it had been terribly sturdy to begin with, but it still would have taken something with incredible strength and force to shatter the door into so many fragments.
She took a closer look at the door frame. Caleb had had two locks in place on it, and the frame was broken around where the locks should have been. There were gouges just below the lock holes, gouges that looked like they could have come from small but strong fingers digging in between the door and frame. She found similar gouges on the other side, and the hinges had been pulled off right along with the door. It looked like something had physically grabbed the door and ripped it from its place. Of course, whoever or whatever had done that could have simply set or thrown the door aside at that point, but this person had instead gone on to destroy the door. That was an interesting detail, but Gloria couldn t be sure yet what it might mean.
Other than the door there was no sign of any damage in the hallway. But even if the destruction was just the door, it had to have been loud enough for someone else to hear it. Gloria went across the hall to the door directly across from Caleb s apartment and knocked. There was no answer, so she listened at the door for a few moments until she was certain that no one was actually home, then moved to the door immediately to the left of Caleb s apartment. She knocked on this one, too, and after a few seconds she was rewarded with a response.
Go away! The voice sounded like it belonged to an elderly woman, although it was loud and high pitched. I don t need no cookies, I don t need to find Jesus cuz he ain t missing, and if you re a vampire you can t come in unless I invite you anyway, so scram!
I m not here about any of those things, Gloria said. I m a friend of the guy who lives next door to you and
And he needs to stop partying so much that he shakes the entire apartment complex. Tell him next time he does that I ll call the cops.
No, that wasn t him. That s what I need to talk to you
I said go away before I put a stake through your undead heart!
Gloria thought about trying to tell the woman that she wasn t a vampire, but she didn t want to risk the old woman following through on her threat. Instead she backed away from the door and tried a few others. Despite clearly being able to hear voices or televisions behind most of the doors, she didn t get any more responses. Most of the people in this building probably didn t know the full extant of what roamed around the Hill at night, but they still knew better than to open their doors to strangers after sundown. Even if anybody had heard the ruckus of the door shattering, no one would have wanted to get involved.
Caleb was just inside his apartment staring at the empty door jamb as Gloria came back.
I m still going to have to call the normal police at some point, Caleb said. The landlady s going to have a shit fit when she sees this, and if I don t want the price of a new door tacked onto my rent them I ll need some sort of official paperwork to back up my claims that someone broke in.
Think you can wait to do that until the morning? Gloria asked. We kind of sort of have to deal with multiple apocalypses at the moment.
Well, yeah, there s that, but I sure as fuck don t know where to begin. I didn t find anything in the bathroom that could help. Anything in the hall?
No. Did you do a thorough check of the main room, though?
Not yet, but it doesn t look like anything in here was disturbed. The person or thing that took the artifacts apparently knew to look in the bathroom. They probably didn t spend much time in here.
We should check just to be sure, Gloria said.
That s just a waste of time. We have to get out and find out what the word is on the streets. With that many world destroying artifacts back in play, someone on the street has to know something.
But it would be stupid not to at least look.
We re not going to freaking find anything, okay? I ll bet my entire next paycheck on it.
Gloria glanced around the room. They had been looking to see if anything was missing at first, not for clues. Maybe there was something they had missed
Gloria blinked several times, then looked back at Caleb and tried to keep a straight face. You really serious about that?
Dead serious.
Then you owe me your next paycheck, she said. Before Caleb could protest she went over towards his entertainment center and the tangled coils of his video game controllers on the floor. She had seen something sitting among the controllers like it had been thrown there in haste, and she picked it up to show Caleb. Caleb s face flushed, but he remained defiant.
No. Uh-uh. How do you know that s not mine?
Are you diabetic? Gloria asked.
No.
Do you do drugs?
No. I do pot once in a great while, but not drugs.
Then why would you have a used syringe sitting on your floor?
She took a closer look at it as Caleb struggled to find some way out of his promise, making sure to keep the needle a safe distance from her skin. There was a hint of blood on the needle, and even though the blood had gone dark it still looked tacky. It had been used recently, probably within the last ten or fifteen minutes. There was also still some fluid in the syringe, but it was purple. Gloria couldn t think of any drug, whether mundane or unique to the Hill, that was purple.
We need to find out what was in here, Gloria said.
I didn t really mean it when I said I would give you my paycheck. Really.
Focus, man, Gloria said. Whoever took everything probably has plans for them, and whatever those plans are we need to hurry if we want to stop it.
Right. Okay, Caleb said. So does that mean you don t really want my paycheck?
Oh hell yeah I do. There s no way I m letting you get out of that. But if I m going to collect we have to survive the night first. So where do we start if we want information?
Despite himself, Caleb grinned, and Gloria realized what a dumb question that had been.
Right, Gloria said. Where else?
There was an uncharacteristic lull at the OneStop shortly around eleven. Several customers, both human and otherwise, had come in with interesting information already, and Phil supposed what they had told him went a ways to explaining why things were dead so far tonight. Word travelled fast on the Hill. It had to if any of its denizens wanted to survive through all the crazy crap that happened here. Information was like currency and had to be passed back and forth to keep everything moving smoothly. It also meant that when something big was going down, everybody knew. Even some of the braver people on the Hill knew tonight was a night to stay inside.
It really annoyed Phil, actually. He d been hoping to get at least to the point of seeing Sue without threat of an apocalypse, but he should have known better.
Still, there was work that needed to be done, and with so few customers it was easy to do it at the moment. Later it might not be so easy, considering Phil might very well need to fight for his life. So now was the moment to teach Lucas some of the basics he needed to know about keeping the OneStop clean. Lucas, for his part, seemed a little nervous about what they had already heard from some of the customers, but he didn t know enough about the Hill to understand just how deep in it they were right now. After a flaming flying armadillo the night before, he probably thought he had already seen everything. Phil was certain the newbie would be wrong on that.
Phil and Lucas were outside the store at the moment, Phil with a broom and dustpan in hand and Lucas standing off to the side as Phil pointed out all the parts of the parking lot where trash tended to accumulate. Always make sure you get the walk right in front of the doors, and all the parking lot. Oh yeah, and don t forget when you come out here to change the trash bag in the barrel out by the sign. Even if it s not full, because otherwise gremlins try to nest in it.
Lucas didn t even bat an eyelash at that news. Either he was accepting all this really quickly or he was already starting to crack. Although the latter was pretty common among the newbies, Phil wanted to believe the former. Strangely enough, working the Apocalypse Shift had actually made Phil optimistic about humanity in a way he hadn t been before. People had a way of adapting to horrible circumstances and finding ways to come out on top. Even when he was worried about some of the more extreme circumstances, such as what was going on tonight, his experience said that everyone involved could rise to the occasion when forced with no other choice. Who knew? Lucas might even become a good soldier in the ongoing fight for humanity s future, given enough time.
He would probably never be a good convenience store clerk, however. So far tonight he d proven himself to be kind of lazy. Whatever. You couldn t win them all.
He was handing the broom and dustpan off to Lucas, who looked at them like he had never before seen things like them in his life, when he saw Caleb and Gloria approaching from down Pearl Street. Caleb had the duffel bag he had forgotten earlier, and they were walking at a pace that wasn t quite leisurely but still short of a jog. Trying to hurry without looking they were doing anything important at all. Phil snorted. He should have know that their first date could only be another attempt at stopping the end of the world. It was probably the only thing they did well together.
As soon as Caleb was close enough Phil smacked him across the top of the head.
Ow! Hey, what the fuck was that about? You kept all that mystical shit in your
Dude, don t call me an idiot, Caleb said. You re the one who He thought for a second, then shrugged. I was going to say something insulting,
Caleb glared at her. Hey, I have more going for me than just insults. He turned back to Phil, stared for a few seconds, then shrugged again. Oh, I don t know. Your momma s fat?
Phil sighed. That s good enough for now, I guess, but I expect a better comeback before the end of the night, got it?
How the hell did you even know what s happening? Gloria asked. I mean, I get that whole thing about word travelling fast around here, but how did you know all those artifacts were taken from his bathroom, of all places?
A whole bunch of people came by saying you d been robbed, a couple were even able to tell me what had been taken, Phil said. But the two people who actually stopped in to give me details were One-Eyed Bobby and Wylma.
One-Eyed Bobby, Caleb said. That scumbag. Oh come on, Gloria said. You re not still upset about what he did during the whole Omega Sword thing, are you?
Oh, that blind bastard has proven to be a double-dealing asshole on a whole bunch of other occasions, too, Caleb said. If he wasn t precognitive I wouldn t do business with him at all.
He came in and tried to sell me the information, Phil said. I ended up trading with him for a pint of Ben and Jerry s instead. Bastard probably knew that if he didn t come in when he did I wouldn t have given it to him, because Wylma came in less than a minute after he left to stock up on smokes. She bought up every box of Marlboro reds in the store, so I think she s hoarding in case the apocalypse is for real this time.
Wait, who s Wylma? Gloria said. If she s got abilities like One-Eyed Bobby then you d think I d know her.
No, she s different, Caleb said. She doesn t leave her bar much at night, so she doesn t usually get around to your territory of the Hill. She also deals a little more with, um, I guess you could say the less legal aspects of some things around here. Keeps as low a profile as possible, though. If she knows a little about this then she might even be able to tell us something about that syringe.
Lucas started sweeping the parking lot all around them. He actually seemed bored by their conversation. Phil thought about telling him to pay attention, that any information they found could stop the destruction of the world, but he supposed making sure the parking lot was clean was more important right now. Phil was going to have to do all the paying attention for both of them. What syringe? he asked.
Gloria unzipped her duffel and pulled out something wadded in bubble wrap. We didn t want to accidentally stick ourselves with it, so we had to put it in something, Gloria explained.
Couldn t you have just used a freezer bag or something? Phil asked.
I don t have any freezer bags, Caleb said.
But you had bubble wrap? What would you even need it for? Phil asked. It s not like you ever need to pack anything.
Actually, yeah, I was wondering the same thing, Gloria said.
It s leftover from when I have records sent to me from Ebay, Caleb said. This doesn t have anything to do with anything. What s important is figuring out what was in the syringe and why it was in my apartment.
Well I sure wouldn t know, Phil said. Wylma probably is your best
There was a moan from somewhere down the sidewalk. They all turned to see Sue shambling towards them. Phil had seen pictures of what she had looked like in life, with her slight frame and dishwater-blond hair, and she had been pretty, but not quite beautiful. Of course, she looked even less so now, but her looks had absolutely nothing to do with why he was dating her. They did, however, make him a little self-conscious whenever she tried any public displays of affection. That was exactly what she was moving for now, her greenish-gray arms outstretched in front to give him a hug as she approached. He supposed that wasn t what it would probably look like to anyone who didn t know her, however. She looked more like the traditional zombie coming in for an attack, so he wasn t entirely surprised when Lucas screamed.
Oh shit, run! Lucas yelled, dropping the broom and dustpan and running back towards the door. Everyone just ignored him. Gloria and Caleb stepped aside to let Sue by, both of them looking amused at her enthusiasm. Phil tried not to look at them, instead trying to concentrate on how happy he was to see her, but he didn t feel comfortable being with her when other people were watching and judging him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, with some of her sticky rotten pus smearing on his smock, and she leaned forward to kiss his lips. The movement was so familiar, something that gave him comfort when they were alone together and made him feel warm despite the cold feeling of her flesh, but for now, despite himself, he found himself trying to back away. He wanted to kiss her. Really he did. He had learned to not only get past his initial repulsion at touching lips that had been withered and eaten away but to actually enjoy it as part of the unique sensations that were her gentle self. But people were watching. People he respected, and people he thought might understand that what he had with Sue was real and not just some sick perversion, but he still couldn t be comfortable with them looking on.
Sue, for her part, didn t seem to notice his hesitation. After her quick peck (or at least quick as was possible for a zombie) she stepped away and looked towards Caleb and Gloria. Her arm spasmed up and down, the closest thing she was capable of to a wave. Huuuuh Cuuuuh. Huuuuh Guuuuh.
Hi Sue, Caleb said. What s shaking? She didn t answer. Phil knew from experience that it was hard for her to concentrate on any one thing for too long. Maybe that was another thing he could try to fix along with her tongue.
Look, we ve got our own thing we need to do tonight, Phil said. And I should probably go inside and calm Lucas down, try to explain Sue to him. So I ll tell you what. I ve got your cell number, Caleb. If I hear anything more useful I can call you. Until then you should go see Wylma and
A noise echoed through the air, loud enough to rival a sonic boom but sounding more like an enormous zipper. It sounded almost like someone was unzipping reality itself. Everything around them flashed with blocks of purple and green, and then the night was silent and still again.
Gloria quickly glanced around at everything around them. Whoa. What the flying fuck was that?
Phil didn t answer. He d experienced that once before, and already knew exactly what he was looking for. He noticed that Caleb and Gloria were standing an extra foot away from each other despite having not moved. Sue was a few inches closer to him, and her simple mind was thoroughly confused as she looked down at her feet, as though accusing them of moving her without her permission. But the biggest change was in Gloria s hand.
Look, Phil said, pointing. Gloria raised her hand and looked at the syringe in it. It was safely housed in a plastic freezer bag, and the bubble wrap was nowhere in sight.
But it was just Gloria started, then looked up at Phil with a thoroughly confused face. No. It wasn t in bubble wrap at all. We put it in freezer bag.
We found a freezer bag right away, Caleb said. This was obviously news to him, but he didn t seem terribly surprised by the change. He did, however, look much more worried than before. I don t even have bubble wrap at home.
Phil nodded. But it wasn t like that before, even though we remember it being just like this the whole time.
But what does that mean? Gloria asked. And why do neither of you seem surprised by this?
Because we ve seen this before, Caleb said. Every time someone lines up a color next to one just like it on Rubik s Ultimate Cube, it causes a slight alteration in reality. If someone were to solve the cube and bring all the colors together on the same sides, then reality as we know it would be ripped apart and replaced with something else. All creatures, human, non-human, living and undead would be erased.
Which means someone just started trying to solve the cube, Phil said. The end has already started.