Newton Neighbors (New England Trilogy) (32 page)

“Maria, you remember Carlos Alvarez and his mother, Lola?” Leticia said.

“Of course I do.
Hola
.” She smiled.
 

She had known it was only a matter of time before she bumped into her ex-boyfriend Carlos, but in her own home? Lola was one of Leticia’s best friends, so she should have guessed. The two had once harbored dreams of Carlos and Maria getting married. When Maria had gone off to college and Ricky entered her life, Carlos had become part of her history. She had been as honest as she could back then. Maria had flown home and broken up with him before she and Ricky got too close, but there was a bit of an overlap when she had been dating both men.
 

In due course, she had heard from her sisters that Carlos had met someone new and married. His divorce was new information to her, though. She felt for his loss. Much to her discomfort, Lola and Leticia linked arms and headed out to the courtyard, leaving Maria and Carlos alone in the hall.
 

“It’s good to see you, Maria.” He gave her a hesitant smile, making no effort to kiss her cheek.
 

Funny, every other person who had come into the house had covered her in kisses. Carlos was different, of course. Damn, she felt uncomfortable. Inside, she cursed her husband for not being there.

“Come in,” she said. “How have you been? It’s been—how long?” She studied the ground, avoiding eye contact. They hadn’t spoken since the breakup.
 

“Yes, it’s been a while.” His voice was soft.

They walked out into the courtyard. Festive strings of Christmas lights trailed their way through the night-blooming jasmine along the walls of the courtyard. As the night darkened, the tiny bulbs seemed to shine brighter. The underwater lights around the edges of the pool had been switched on, too, and gave the water a magical glow. Best of all were her mother’s old-style lanterns. She had hung about twenty of them, no bigger than coffee mugs, from the orange trees on either side of dining table. Their natural candlelight attracted Maria as much as it did the magenta dragonflies.
 

Carlos was showered with
hellos
and
where-have-you-beens
by her brothers-in-law. The entire family was dining at Leticia’s house. That meant Maria’s three sisters, their husbands, and all the nephews and nieces—ten children and eight adults—were there. Then, after the meal, the neighbors had started to arrive to socialize and Maria had lost count. It was a full house—crazy but fabulous.
 

Maria felt a bit like a stranger. Carlos seemed to be more at home there than she was. When had that happened? He hadn’t been at any of their weddings. She would have remembered. But San Juan wasn’t a big town, and no doubt they all supported the local
pharmacia
over the new international one. Bernardo brought Carlos a beer, and Maria saw her chance to escape quietly. She wandered over to the pool and tried to look busy watching Cody.
Maybe I should creep off to bed
, she thought. Things felt awkward.

“I hear your husband is working over Thanksgiving and you brought the kids down alone.” Carlos had come up beside her. Maybe he didn’t feel as uncomfortable. “Which ones are yours?”
 

“Him.” She pointed to Cody, who was climbing on top of one of his cousins’ shoulders.
 

“He looks strong.” Carlos’s voice was still so familiar, even after all the years. His accent was deep and warm. It was a comfort.

She turned to face him. “Carlos, I’m sorry to hear about your marriage.”

He gave a shrug. “So am I. What can I say? We tried to save it, but we failed. At least there were no children involved.” He watched the kids in the pool. The splashing and games had reached a fever pitch, but there was no sign of them running out of steam.

“And you?”

“Me?” Maria didn’t want to speak about Rick.

“Have you had a nice day?”

“Oh, the day? Right, the day. Yes, it’s been marvelous. Mami made me and the kids come to church with her this morning. It was so busy.”

“I know, I saw you.”

“You did?”

“Yes, I would have said hello, but as you say, it was a full house and you were gone before I got the chance.”

“I didn’t see you.”

“No. I think you had your hands full with a baby.”

“That’s my little girl, Alice. She’ll be one next month, and she’s beginning to become hard to handle.”

This time he smiled at her. “Ah, a son and a daughter? You’re lucky.”

“Yeah, but they’re a handful, too. We spent most of the afternoon eating a fabulous meal. I loved it, but my all-American son was not so impressed when the
guineos en escabeche
were served up as a starter.”

“You don’t cook them in your home?”

“No.” She laughed. “He didn’t trust bananas combined with garlic, but Alice loved them and couldn’t get enough.”

“You should start cooking them in the future,” he said. “What about the rest of the meal?”

She could feel herself relaxing. It was easy to talk to Carlos. She had forgotten he was so nice. “The turkey was pretty much as I fix it—only the stuffing was different—and, of course, everybody adores Mami’s special
dulce de leche
custard.”

He nodded in agreement.
 

“I’ve never seen my daughter put away so much food, but then again they were outside for most of the day. The fresh air must have made her hungry.”

“Carlos!” Bernardo gestured for him to join in.
 

Carlos raised his beer bottle to say he was coming, but then he whispered, “It’s been really good to see you, Maria. You look good. I’m happy things have turned out so well for you.”
 

This time he did reach over and kiss her on the cheek. His cologne, she realized, was the same he had always worn. Such a sudden jolt to her memory startled her, and he sensed her change.

“
Esta bien
?”

“
Si, si.
” She lied. Maria wasn’t really okay.
 

This was all lies. She was acting like she had a fabulous life back in Newton, when in fact she hadn’t even spoken to her husband for almost two weeks. Maria felt like an outsider. Why had she thought this would work? Coming home like this? Yes, she still loved Puerto Rico, but it wasn’t her home anymore. She had been gone too long.
 

Maria folded her arms tight as if she were cold and looked around the courtyard with new eyes. She’d grown up inside these walls, been born in this house, learned to walk, talk, and swim here. She had even fallen in love with Carlos when she’d lived in this house, but she had fallen out of love with him somewhere else.
 

Carlos and Puerto Rico were part of her past. Ricky, Newton, and her children were her present. Like it or not, that was where her home was now. She folded her arms even tighter despite the heat of the night.
 

Carlos was chatting with her sisters and their husbands who were all sitting together, laughing and talking. At the other end of the table were the older neighbors with Leticia. Maria wanted to sit at the table with her siblings, but something held her back.
 

Was she all of a sudden shy with Carlos, or was it more than that? Was it disloyal to her husband to talk to her ex? And why hadn’t he called her for Thanksgiving? Moreover, why hadn’t he joined them?

Maria had enough. She was exhausted and had a strong need for her bed. Seeing Carlos didn’t help. After a quick word with her son, who swore he would go to bed when his cousins did, she left the party without saying good-bye to anyone else.
 

As always, though, one person noticed.
 

Maria had just climbed into bed when she heard a soft knock on her bedroom door. “Maria, are you in there?”

“Yes. Come in, Mami,” Maria called through the door.

Leticia opened the door. “I thought you might be here,” her mother said and smiled as she came into her room. “But I couldn’t let my firstborn go to bed on Thanksgiving without a good-night kiss.” She sat on her daughter’s bed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make a big fuss and risk breaking up the party. Cody promised he’ll go to bed when his cousins do.”

Leticia shrugged. “He’s a good boy and growing up so fast.” She studied Maria’s face. “What about you,
cariño
. I worry about you.”

Maria focused on the beautiful white bedspread that covered her body. It was hardly necessary with the heat outside. She didn’t know what to say, so she shook her head.

“How many years have you been married now?”

“Eleven.”

“That many? Eleven? It feels like three, but Cody is ten, so it makes sense.”

“Sometimes I feel like I’ve been married for a thousand years.” She gave a weak smile. “How can I find two children so overwhelming when you had four and managed so easily?”

Leticia stroked her daughter’s hair. “Your memory is playing tricks on you. I screamed a lot and cried, too. But I do think women today seem to have more pressure. Always rushing with the children, trying to do everything. Things were simpler before.”

Maria studied her mother’s face but didn’t speak.
 

“And then there is my most beautiful youngest granddaughter, Alice—almost one.” Leticia stroked Maria’s cheek. “That is one strong lady, much more work than Cody. I saw that yesterday. I’m sure she’ll grow out of it but,
Dios mío
, she was a handful when you were in town. It’s not easy when the babies come,
cariño
. It puts huge pressure on the parents.”

“It’s not that.” Maria dropped her gaze and shook her head. “Between Ricky and me, I mean.”

“Is there another woman?”

Another head shake.

“Another man?”
 

Maria’s head shot up. “You mean me? Am I having an affair?”

Her mother shrugged. “I’m not suggesting anything. I am just wondering why your heart is so heavy. I know how much you love Rick, and now you have these two fabulous children, but I see you’re so sad, too. How can I help if I don’t know what the problem is?”

“Oh, Mami, it’s everything. He works so hard, and I never see him. Then when I do, he’s looking at younger women. I did think he was having an affair, but now I believe I was wrong. It was work. He’s in that damn office all the time. I’m at home with the children, and sometimes I think I’m just going crazy. I’m getting fatter every day—and older. Did I mention that Ricky is still running and looks the same as he did eleven years ago while I’ve aged decades? We’re growing apart, and he doesn’t even chase me anymore when I run away.” She felt her eyes fill with tears. “I think Ricky has fallen out of love with me. I think that’s the bottom line. He doesn’t love me anymore.”

Leticia hugged her tight like she had when Maria was a little girl. “Shh,
cariño
. You don’t know any of this. It’s not certain.”

“I do. I feel it.” Maria cried into her mother’s shoulder.

“Sometimes our feelings get things wrong,” Leticia said. “And even if you’re right, feelings can change. You can fix this situation if you want to, baby.” Leticia pulled back and wiped Maria’s eyes with her hankie.

“You think?”

“I know.”

“How?”

“You think your father and I didn’t have our problems? Everybody has problems, Maria. Anybody who says otherwise is lying.” She sat back on the bed now, giving Maria a little more room. “You have two children. I had four, and believe me, you girls were quite a handful. Your father and I didn’t always agree, but we got through it. It takes effort, my girl. Is he really working in the office over the holiday?”

Maria nodded.

“He needs to work less, but you must support his career more.”

“I already do.”
 

Leticia cocked an eyebrow as if to say she didn’t believe her.

“Well, I did until it took over his life. I mean, who works over Thanksgiving?”

“Doctors, nurses, pilots, businessmen—many people. Rick seems to be one of them. Did you have an argument?”

She looked at her mother and knew she couldn’t lie to her at this point. “We had a big fight almost two weeks ago and stopped talking. That’s why I had to get away. The atmosphere in the house was killing me.”

“Two weeks?” Leticia blessed herself. “You haven’t spoken for two weeks? That’s even more than your father and me. Oh, you are so hotheaded, Maria. You have to break this fight.”

“Why can’t he?”

“I don’t know, but it’s clear somebody has to, so it may as well be you.” Her mother was looking a lot less sympathetic now.
 

She cupped Maria’s face in her hands. “Do you want to stay married to the father of your children,
mija
?”

“Yes.”

“Then fight for your marriage. Don’t let it slip away.” She was so earnest. “You have to cherish it like you do your children. Your love needs time and nurturing just like your babies. You and Rick need time alone to rediscover each other. Your sisters and I can take the children.”

Maria shook her head. “Cody has to go back to school, and if I asked Ricky, he would say he couldn’t get the time off from his blessed work.”