Next to Me (16 page)

“What is it?” he asks, noticing the obvious change in my intensity. “Am I

hurting you? Did I hurt your leg?”

“No…you’re not, I’m fine,” I tell him.

“Then what? What’s wrong, Jenna?” he asks with concern.

“I just…I have a lot to process here, Landon. It’s not that I don’t want to do this. It’s just…”

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry.” Landon moves his body off of mine and lies facing me, propping himself up on his elbow. “I’ve just told you your father is alive and all I’m concerned with is making sure you know how I feel about you.”

“It’s ok. I’m a pretty willing participant here,” I say with a breathy laugh.

“I just need you to believe me. I never lied about how I feel about you, Jenna. I love you.” His brown eyes are warm like hot chocolate and all I want to do is dive into them and stay there forever.

“I do believe you. And…I love you, too,” I say. There’s a flutter in my stomach as the words leave my mouth, followed by a smile on my lips. I reach over and run my fingers through his hair, fixing the bit of a mess I made it only moments ago.

“That is the greatest thing you have ever said to me.” Landon smiles and relief covers his face. He takes a deep breath before he speaks again. “Well…now that my crazy profession of love isn’t hanging out there like a bad high five, let’s regroup.”

“Yeah…I feel like I need to stop and regroup now that I’m not completely furious with you. I thought I’d have a ton of questions for you, and I suppose I will, but I realize everything I really want and need to know is going to have to come from my father. I guess all I need to know from you right now is…when can I see him? I mean, are we going back to DC? Is he coming here?” My eyes light up as I think about seeing my father again. Warm memories of my life with him run through my mind and I can’t help but feel a little giddy.

“You’re so cute.” Landon leans down and kisses me sweetly. I can’t wait for my father to meet Landon in a non-employee way. He really is going to just love him. “He said as soon as I told him I found you that he’d be on the next plane out.”

“You didn’t contact him before you came over here?” I ask. I would have thought that since Landon’s cover was blown he would have immediately called my father.

“No. I had to make sure we were good first. I just couldn’t stand the thought…” Landon begins but I cut him off. We’ve been down this path and I just don’t see the sense in travelling it again.

“It’s ok, Landon. You know, it’s late and we both need to get some sleep. Well, I’m going to
try
to sleep. My father will be here tomorrow. I’m going to see him again after
six
years.” Tears begin to sting my eyes. “I wish you had been honest with me from the start, but…you brought him back to me, Landon. My dad was the only family I had left when I lost him. I felt so alone for a really long time. It took years for me to let Mercy and Spring and everyone in even in the smallest ways. They became my family but I’ve always had this little empty place inside because my dad was gone. You changed all that and it makes me love you even more.”

“It makes me really happy to hear you say that. I guess we’ve got a big day tomorrow. I’m meeting my girlfriend’s father and I’m just a little nervous about that. Oh, my gosh! I’ve never been so happy to have not had sex. I don’t think I could look your father in the eye tomorrow knowing I had seen his daughter naked the night before,” he chuckles.

“Eww! Aaaand on that note…” I interject.

“Oooh! Maybe I should play the white knight and tell him we’re waiting

until we’re married!” Landon says raising his eyebrows at me.

Married?
That’s a pretty bold, off-the-cuff comment for a guy to make. One day I think I could entertain the thought of marrying Landon, just not today. But now that the idea has been planted, I’m sure it’ll pop up when I’m

least expecting it.

“Oh, please! My dad was a hooligan on the streets of DC and Maryland long enough to know how the world works. He actually gave me condoms when I started dating at 16. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he also gave them to my dates,” I tell him. My dad was always the most honest man I knew. He did his best to be both father and mother to me. Sometimes it was awkward, but at least you never had to guess where he stood on things, even contraceptives.

“Ok, now
that
is eww!” We both laugh and recognize that this is really the end of the conversation. It’s late and there’s not much left to talk about. The emotional roller coaster of the night has left me puffy-eyed and tired. I’m sure I’ll have more questions for Landon in the morning, but for now all I can think about it going to sleep. Getting off the bed, we pull the sheets and blanket back and Landon undresses as he did before and we both crawl in.

Landon was right that once I knew my father was alive I’d be focused on that. What Landon underestimated was how much a part of my life he already is. There’s no way I can reunite with my father without Landon by my side. I’ve been building my life and really living, just like my father wanted, especially over the last month with Landon. I’ll never be Veronica Matthews again, but I have my father back and I know that I’ll have an amazing future as Jenna Rockwell. That amazing life starts right now as I lay here in the arms of the man I love completely.

Chapter 10

It’s 8:30 am when I wake up and find myself still wrapped in Landon’s arms. A smile spreads across my face as I realize just how perfect my life is right now. I’m lying in the strong arms of the man I love, and today I’m going to replace the last, terrible memory I have of my father. Today I’ll throw my arms around my dad and tell him how much I love him and have missed him. I’ll tell him all about nursing school and Spring and Mercy and everyone. I’ll tell him how I’ve kept up with my dancing, and how I’ve been doing my best to live a full life like he told me to.

I move so I can look at Landon fully and realize that I’ll also yell at my father for going to such extremes to find me when he could have just asked Oz. I’m reminded of the frightening thought I had last night and consider that something may have happened to Oz and that’s why Dad hired Landon. He wouldn’t have had the money to do that before, but maybe Oz provided the finances in some fashion. I don’t want to think about that.

I have so many questions for my father. Why did he wait six years to find me? What deal does he have with Dellinger that is allowing him to do all this? What happened that night when I left him under that tree in Constitution Gardens?

I think about all the things I want to tell him about my life here and hope that he’s going to be proud of all that I’ve accomplished. I find I’m also a little sad, too, because I know I can never go back to being his daughter…I can never be his Ronnie again. Veronica Matthews died the same day I thought he did, but I think Jenna Rockwell is pretty great and I hope Dad loves her just as much.

I get out of bed and quietly go to the kitchen. I can hear Spring making coffee and I want to apologize for the disturbance last night. I find her still in her PJ’s fiddling with the coffee maker. Afraid she’s going to make us suffer her lack of coffee-making skills, I intervene before she gets too far.

“Hey! Everything ok?” she asks, a mix of concern and confusion painting her face. “I thought you were working, but then I heard you and Landon fighting last night. It got quiet so I came out to make sure you were ok. Then I heard other noises coming from you room, so I figured you were, um, getting over whatever it is he did.”

“I’m so sorry about that. It was a huge misunderstanding,” I tell her.

“So…is he still here?” Spring raises her eyebrows in that goofy way that only she can and get away with it.

“Yes,” I tell her hesitantly.

“Oh, my God! You two
did
it!” she laughs.

“Shh! And, no, we didn’t,” I say. “The circumstances weren’t really right for optimal enjoyment.  I have
a lot
on my mind. He was totally great about it though. I’ll eventually make up for it,” I wink.

There’s a knock at the door and Spring and I look at each other, puzzled. No one we know would be here this early on a Saturday morning. Even when Spring does something with Matt, she always meets him at his place so he gets to sleep in a bit longer.

I open the door and a frazzled Mercy is standing before me. She’s wearing scrubs and her hair is pulled back, so she’d obviously come here straight from work.

“Oh. My. God! I cannot believe you didn’t call me! I had to hear from Tim in ER that your ass-hat of a boyfriend cheated on you? Jerry has already sworn to kick his ass!” Mercy is channeling her inner New Yorker and I need to calm her down before she wakes Landon, and all of Chicago.

“Landon cheated on you?” Spring responds to Mercy’s rant with wide eyes.

“Ok, first, shh! Second, Landon did not cheat on me. He had a work thing last night with a woman who thought their business relationship was more than that,” I tell them. It’s partly true. Of course, Landon
lead
her to believe he was interested in her in his effort to find Veronica Matthews, but I can’t explain all of that to them just yet. “I overreacted and Landon followed me home and explained everything. We’re good so call Jerry off before he shows up here with a baseball bat!”

“Really, Jenna, I didn’t realize you were that stupid! If it looks like cheating, it’s cheating! He comes here and gives you his sob story and just like that you two are all good?” Mercy cocks her head to the side in disbelief.

“Yeah, we’re all good,” Landon says entering the living room. He’s wearing his dress pants with his white dress shirt completely unbuttoned. Spring gives a quiet, but still audible gasp when she sees him. I can’t blame her. My boyfriend is undeniably hot. “I explained everything and Jenna knows I told her the truth. I can understand your protectiveness of her but don’t ever refer to my girlfriend as being stupid again. Ever.” Landon puts his arm around me and the tension in the room becomes palpable. I have to give Mercy credit for the restraint she’s showing.

“I swear to God, if I find out you
were
cheating on her, or if you
ever
do
anything
to hurt her…I wasn’t joking. I will kill you.” Mercy gives Landon a dagger-filled stare before addressing me. “You’re going to have to explain this to me, but clearly now is not the right time. I’m exhausted and hungry. I’m going to go home to eat and sleep off the fury. I’ll call you later when I’ve calmed down.”

Mercy doesn’t bother with a goodbye. She just turns on her heels and closes the door behind her. I’ve seen Mercy mad before, but I’ve never seen her like this. It’s because we’re family. She’s been my mother and sister rolled into one cute little Italian package for the last few years. Once I have all the answers from my father I’ll know better what’s happening and be able to tell Mercy everything. She won’t apologize for her rage because she never apologizes for protecting the ones she loves, but she’ll be so happy for me to have my father back.

“If Jenna believes you, that’s good enough for me,” Spring tells Landon.

“Thanks, Spring. I appreciate it. I’m really sorry if our arguing woke you

last night.” His sincere apology and smile are enough to make me weak in the knees right there.

“No worries. I’m an excellent judge of character and I have a feeling you’re the real deal. But…if by some crazy fluke I’m wrong, you know I’ll have to side with Mercy, right?” she smirks.

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t,” he smirks back.

Spring excuses herself to her room to get dressed, leaving Landon and me alone. I finish making coffee and pull some breakfast items from the fridge.

“How’s your leg? You don’t seem to be limping at all.” Landon stands behind me and rubs my shoulders.

“It still feels a little tender, but it’s fine. I’ll still have to wait until I feel zero pain before I can dance again. I need to know that the little muscle she cut has healed completely before I work it like that,” I tell Landon as he sits on one of the two stools at the counter bar.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’ve hated watching you in pain. I was…I was really scared that night, Jenna.” Landon rests his face in his hands for a moment before running his fingers through his hair.

“Hey…I’m ok. We’re ok. We’ve dealt with everything else and now we’re moving forward physically and emotionally. Ok?” Landon takes a deep breath and nods. “Good. Now, I hope I didn’t wake you. Are you hungry?”

“I felt it when you got up. I wasn’t nearly as warm.” A sexy smile appears and his eyebrow rises with suggestion. “I waited a few minutes for you to come back, but then I heard you and Spring talking so I figured I’d go ahead and call your father. He’s going to call me back when he’s got his flight secured.”

“Wow. I can’t believe this is happening.” My stomach flips and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to eat breakfast or any other meal today.

“I can’t believe you haven’t asked me a million questions. What’s up with that?” Landon gets up and assumes my breakfast-making tasks seeing that I’m now quite distracted.