Nicole: Star Crossed Lovers (A Wish for Love Series Book 2) (9 page)

"I'm boring you," she apologized.

"Not at all.  On the contrary." 

She expected to see pity but saw only warmth and understanding in his face. "What are you thinking?"  She bit her lips in vexation, surprised at her own question.

"Do you really want to know?"  His eyes were as clear as a cloudless sky on a sunny winter day. 

She shook her head in affirmation.

"I thought perhaps another child would ease your agony." He saw the dark shadow that passed fleetingly in her eyes before she spoke.

"I don't want another child," she lowered her lashes, "and I don't want to get married again."  She hurt him and thus hurt herself.
 

"I see," he said slowly. "If that's what you want, I have no choice but to accept it."  He stood up.

She felt the lump in her throat.  He was going to leave her.  She had let him down.  She desperately wanted to turn the clock back to those moments of tenderness and intimacy they had experienced over the past two days and tell him she hadn't meant what she said but the words refused to be spoken.  If he left now the pain wouldn’t be so terrible, but she couldn't take the risk of losing him with another child growing within her.

"I'm sorry. I've disappointed you."

"You could never disappoint me." His voice was clipped and assured, "you are honest with yourself and with me and I appreciate that.  As long as you're at peace with your decision I'll accept it."

"Would you be ready to give up children in order to be with me?"

"Yes."  He looked straight into her eyes.  For a fraction of a second she saw pain until a blue velvet curtain came down and prevented her from reading his thoughts.

Nicole woke up early.  She opened her eyes and sat up.  She could see the red bougainvillea flowering outside the bedroom window and the bluebird chirping on a branch.  Her clothes were strewn about the floor near the bed and she stared at them with glazed eyes, still captive to the dark magic of last night.  She closed her eyes.  She could feel Daniel's body covering hers, the supple muscles of his back moving under her hands, the sweet taste of his lips.  That night he conquered her by storm, the towering waves of his passion surging through her body and soul, and she submitted again and again to the ecstasy that overwhelmed her.  He didn't smile, nor did he whisper sweet words, his eyes deep and shaded pools as she groaned and cried out his name.  He was wild and free and they roamed savagely in the hidden valley of passion.  There was no way back and no bounds of reason, there was only the frenzied need to vanquish her body.  To gain a sure hold on her soul.  To be the only object of her love.

Nicole rose from the bed and looked at herself in the mirror.  Her hair was rumpled and her cheeks rosy.  Her eyes shone like emeralds and when she touched a finger to her lips she felt how soft and warm they were.  Her hand trailed from her lips to her neck, leading down to the cleft between her breasts, until she dropped it to her side.  It took only a few days since their meeting for Daniel Miller to get under her skin again and link her soul to his.  What was she doing to herself?  Could she trust him? Could she bear another loss?  Could she take the risk and abandon the calm and sheltered life she had managed to make for herself?  She stared at her reflection and found no answer.

Her phone rang.

"In Heaven's name, where have you been?  I've been eating myself up with worry."  Despite the early hour Ann sounded fresh and full of energy.

"It's a long story.  I didn't know I would be gone for two days."

"I'm dying of curiosity.  We haven't seen each other since the party.  I don't want to pry but you've got to tell me everything about you and Daniel Miller.  The minute I saw you two
together I knew this wasn't the first time you'd met."

"Why don’t you join me for breakfast," Nicole said.

"Give me half an hour and I'll be there," Ann replied excitedly and Nicole laughed.

After a quick shower Nicole braided her long hair and dressed.  She would
confide in Ann.  She had never told her troubles to a soul.  It wasn't that she had something to hide but she could never bring herself to bare before a stranger the bitterness, the fears and the pain.  She was strong and proud and didn't seek sympathy or pity.  The harsh memories were buried deep within her, but now, for the first time, she felt the need to unburden herself of the heavy load.  She had bared her soul to Daniel, but that wasn't enough.  She let a trickle of memories seep out and they turned into a cascade, like a burst dam.  She wanted to reveal her innermost life to a woman who would understand her and perhaps advise her what to do. She, who always knew exactly what was best for herself, who could handle every social situation with aplomb, was suddenly so very, very unsure of herself.  Ann was sensitive and wise, experienced with men, and had a healthy commonsense attitude towards life.  Nicole was curious to hear her opinion, especially about her relationship with Daniel.  She was eager to have an objective viewpoint and knew that Ann would be unflinchingly candid.  She was also very discreet and could be counted on to keep what she heard to herself.

Nicole couldn't help smiling when she thought of Ann's amazement when told of Nicole's meeting with Daniel Miller.  She was sure that Ann, in her wildest dreams, hadn't imagined she would hear such a story.

Ann and Nicole finished breakfast and moved from the kitchen to the airy living room.  Ann stretched out on a couch, placing her feet on the stool. "Shoot," she ordered and crossed her arms behind her neck. "I'm ready."

"Would you like some more coffee?" Nicole asked serenely.

"Are you going to satisfy my curiosity or do you intend to torture me for much longer?"

"I intend to tell you everything but the truth is, I don't know exactly where to begin."

"Perhaps you had better begin at the beginning.  Once upon a time there lived a beautiful princess..."

Ann didn't interrupt once during the ensuing hour and a half, only her expression changed, clearly reflecting her feelings as Nicole's saga unfolded.

"When did you find out that the scumbag you grew up with wasn't your father?" was Ann's first question after a short silence as Nicole finished her tale.

"Shortly
after my mother died, my stepfather was hospitalized. The tests results indicated cancer of the liver. Despite our cold relationship in the past, when his illness got worse I visited him frequently.  It was then that he told me
the truth and gave me my birth certificate and the wedding certificate of my mother and father.  After he died I found a few snapshots of my father embracing my mother and holding me in his arms."

"My poor baby."  Ann leaned forward and held Nicole's hand tightly.   "All this time we've known each other you kept all this locked up inside you?  At least I could have tried to ease your torment.  I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me everything now.  You can count on me.  I'll do everything I can to help you when the hard times come."

"I know.  You're a good friend.  But I had to grapple with the pain in my own way before I could share it with others."

"Now I understand why you couldn't develop emotional ties with other men.  I always suspected there was a man in your past that you were still attached to and couldn't free yourself from."

"You felt that?"

"Yes.  It's really weird.  You're not a cold or neurotic woman.  You're good-hearted and clearly an incurable romantic.  It shows up in a word, a gesture, the way you see the world, the way you think.  You were born desirable, made to be loved.  Now it's crystal clear.  Once you loved a man like Daniel Miller and he returned your love, how could you look at anyone else?  Honey, you are one of those rare women who fall in love only once, and forever.  You fell in love with a man of extraordinary looks, talents and character.  It's no wonder you continued loving him all this time."  Ann leaned back and gazed penetratingly at Nicole.  "You've lost a great deal in your life.  You've endured terrible suffering and carried a heavy burden on your shoulders but you've made one grave mistake.  It's not money that fate has granted you in exchange but a
far greater gift.  You've been handed the rarest treasure of all, the one we all seek.  It's called true love!"

"Ann, I'm frightened.  I'm afraid that one day he'll leave again and I'll be alone once more.  I don't know if I can trust him.  Sometimes I think I should run away as fast as I can.  The danger is too great."

"First of all, the decision isn't yours alone."  Ann seemed sure of herself and of her advice.  Her confidence was reassuring and Nicole found herself growing calmer.  "It doesn't seem to me that once a man like Daniel decides to make you part of his life that he'll let you go so easily.  It's also not at all clear to me that you really want to get away from him.  He stimulates you, he interests you, he brings fire and excitement into your life, and he makes you feel like a woman in every sense of the word.  He's the Prince Charming that wakes the sleeping princess from her deep slumber.  No!  You can't give all that up.  You have to take the risk.  It's Simple logic.  Your past history proves you're not a weak-willed soul who can't face reality, nor an emotionally shallow, whining creature.   What I see is a courageous woman with strong passions and a lusty nature who gave herself, heart and soul, to the man she loves.  You're a woman with strong ties to life, Nicole.  You won't be satisfied with superficial, disengaged relationships.  That was good enough when Daniel was far away, when you were convinced you'd never see him again.  Perhaps you needed emotional detachment to help you overcome your grief and keep your sanity after all the tragedies you experienced.  But now that's all changed.  You'll run the risk because you have only one choice.  You'll always choose life over death,  the light of love over the darkness of a frozen heart."

Nicole stared at Ann, hypnotized.  "Have you ever considered writing poetry?"

"I did try and discovered I suck," Ann laughed.  "Now I stick to reading masterpieces written by others."

That entire day Nicole thought over Ann's words.  She was right.  She couldn't give up Daniel now.  She could conceivably be hurt but if she took no risks she would be condemned to a sterile and empty life.  Her pride would be intact but she would be a lonely and pathetic person.  The possibility of ever falling in love with someone else simply did not enter her mind.

The week sped by.  Daniel returned to Nicole after each day's filming and they discovered each other anew.  They talked long hours, cooked romantic dinners together and made love with hungry passion, trying to make up for lost time.  Sometimes they curled up in the living room or bedroom, Nicole reading or watching television while Daniel worked.

Saturday Daniel returned earlier than usual and announced, "we're going out tonight."

"What's the celebration?" asked Nicole, surprised.  Daniel had shown no inclination until then either to leave the house or for other people's company.

"One of our heaviest investors, owner of a bottling company, is here for the night and insists we have dinner with him."

"We?"

"Well, I suppose he expects Diane to be the lady of the evening but Diane is out of town and besides, I won't go without you.  From now on, you'll join me at all the social affairs where I have to put in an appearance."

"All of them?" Nicole asked worriedly.

"Not all of them," Daniel grinned, "only those you choose.  I do agree that most of these gatherings are pretty boring and dull but every now and then you'll meet some interesting people."

"Tonight?"

"Tonight the company can be classified as 'fun'.  Malcolm Griffin is a bit crude and aggressive but he has a sense of humor and lots of common sense.  You won't be bored."

The car appeared on the dot of seven thirty.  Daniel opened the door for Nicole who gathered the hem of her dress and sat in the back.  Her hair was brushed back and at her neck was the chain Daniel had given her.  As Daniel held the door open and watched her stoop to enter he recalled how she had dressed slowly and sensually and he had restrained himself forcibly from undressing her, taking her to bed and sending Malcolm and his dinner to the devil.

The French restaurant was almost full.  The multicolored lights from the marina beckoned from the large windows. All eyes turned to the couple who entered and a ripple ran through the room.  The maitre d’ rushed forward to greet them.  "Mr. Miller, we have been expecting you.  Mr. Griffin will be here in a few minutes."

The women, openly and with more than a little envy, scrutinized Nicole from head to toe while eyeing the impressive looking man at her side.  The Maitre d' led them to the window, to a table set for three. I intend to enjoy every minute of this evening, Nicole thought. 

"Daniel, my boy," the bass voice was thundering, "how are you?  And who's the beauty with you?" 

Daniel rose and shook the hand of the heavyset man who stood by their table.  "Malcolm, meet Nicole West."

"Daniel is a lucky man.  He always gets the most beautiful women.  But this one is something special," he added, examining Nicole from head to toe without a trace of embarrassment.  "I can see this is a really classy lady."  His laugh was friendly and Nicole didn't dare interrupt the stream of talk that flowed from this mountain of a man.

"How's your wife?  Is she feeling well?"  Daniel inquired.

"My wife, bless her heart, is staying the course like a real thoroughbred," he laughed aloud.  "She sends you her love."

Overcoming the initial shock, Nicole found herself liking this man.  The torrent of his speech continued and he regaled them with amusing stories.  After the main course Malcolm and Daniel exchanged a few words concerning business and Nicole took advantage of this break to go to the ladies room.  As she made her way back to the table she stopped short in confusion.   Diane Stewart, very much at ease, was sitting in her chair.  She looked magnificent.  The red dress flattered her white face and raven hair.  Nicole stood still.  There were no empty chairs and Nicole waited for Diane to get up, but it was Daniel and Malcolm who rose to their feet.  Malcolm offered his seat but Daniel's hand prevented her from accepting.

"Diane, I think Nicole wants to sit in her place.  We haven't finished eating yet.  Why don't you accept Malcolm's offer and sit in his place until another chair is brought over."

"Don't make such a fuss, Daniel.  What difference does it make who sits where?"

"Diane!"

Nicole recognized the low and dangerous tone and it appeared that Diane did too because she rose, her mouth grimacing in protest as she sat in Malcolm's chair.  At that moment the waiter brought another chair and they all sat down. 

Malcolm didn't seem at all disconcerted by Diane's scene. "And how is the biggest star in America?" he asked calmly.

"Exhausted and hungry."  Her voice was harsh and indifferent.  "We flew to the opening of a new club in Townsville, and it was incredibly
boring.  The people were so pathetic I felt sorry for them,  the music was crap and besides me there was no one worth knowing.  So instead of staying overnight as planned I came back."

"How did you know we were here?" Daniel asked coldly.

"I looked all over for you."  Nicole was astonished by the change of tone.  Pouting, Diane spoke like a spoiled child.  "I wanted to be with you.  I haven't seen you at all this week and you were so busy during the filming."

Nicole feared Daniel would strike Diane.  His face looked calm and not a muscle moved but she noticed the ash gray that replaced the blue in his eyes and was aware of the effort he was making to control his anger.  She took in the situation at a glance.  They must have had a love affair.  She had even heard rumors to that effect. Daniel ended the affair and Diane still hadn't accepted the fact.  Now that Nicole saw her close up she knew that Diane was not ready to concede defeat.  She would try to regain his love.  Nicole felt compassion.  She knew what it meant to love Daniel and then lose him. She waited for him to make the formal introduction.

"And who is this?"   Diane questioned Daniel without looking at Nicole.

"Nicole, meet Diane Stewart.  Diane, this is Nicole."

"Pleased to meet you," said Nicole.

"So this is the 'friend' you've been hiding from me.  Very interesting.  Since when do you seduce local girls?"  Diane still didn't look at Nicole.

To Nicole's astonishment Daniel replied, "Nicole is just a friend, Diane."  His eyes were boring into Diane's face and his voice was as frigid as a Siberian glacier.  "Do you understand?  Merely a friend."

Nicole was stunned.  Daniel would never insult her so.  Was he still Diane's lover?  Hadn't he ended their relationship?  Was he toying with both of them?  No, that was impossible.  Daniel was an honorable man.  An honest man.  At Ralph Townsend's party he told her that his relationship with Diane was purely business.  She was confused but in control, with that same self-control that was her secret weapon in times of confusion or pain.

"Yes, our friendship goes back a long way.  Daniel is like a big brother to me.  We're like a big happy family.  Isn't that so, sweetie?"  The last questioned was meant for Daniel.

He didn't reply.  He motioned to the waiter and said, "It's getting late and I suggest we order dessert."

"What do you do, Nicole?"  Malcolm made a valiant effort to ease the tense atmosphere.

"I paint."

"Isn't that wonderful.  Where can I see your work?"

Nicole smiled at him.  He was making a heroic effort to make her feel better.  "At the Modern Art Gallery on Sheridan Street."

"Perhaps you can give me the name of the owner.  I might buy some of your pictures."

Nicole was flustered.  Daniel answered for her.  "You don't have to go far, Malcolm.  Nicole is also the owner of the gallery."

"Really?"  Diane intervened.  "A little rich bitch we have here,” she sneered, but Nicole could see behind the mask.  Strange as it might seem, Diane Stewart lacked self-confidence. 

The dessert arrived and Malcolm again dominated the conversation.  For the rest of the evening Nicole ignored Daniel.  She refused to look at him or talk to him. 

Daniel felt he could strangle Diane with his own two hands but didn't intend to do it here.  Not in front of Malcolm and not before they finished making the movie. 

Diane, who felt she had the upper hand, chattered with Malcolm.  Like the cat who licked all the cream, a feline smile
stole over her face and she allowed herself, every now and then, to throw seductive glances at Daniel who sat, unyielding, by her side.

When dinner was over they left the restaurant.  Malcolm took leave of them, kissing Diane and Nicole on the hand, "I'll contact you," he promised.

James was waiting by the car and he glanced at Diane Stewart with a shade of reluctance.  He raised an eyebrow and waited for his employer's instructions but it was Nicole who spoke in an authoritative tone. "Daniel will accompany Diane to their hotel and you James, if you will be so kind, will take me home."

"At your service, Ma'am," said James respectfully.  He didn't know what had happened that evening but he had no intention of arguing with her.  If his employer wanted to issue a contradictory order, let him say so himself.  James didn't particularly care for Miss Stewart and he didn't care in the least if his employer knew which of the two ladies he preferred.

"No," said Daniel sharply, but Diane's well-manicured hand covered his mouth.

"Hush, Daniel.  The child is right.  We can walk to the hotel.  It's such a pleasant evening."

Nicole wasted no time.  She quickly entered the door that James held open.  Daniel freed himself from Diane and signaled James to wait.  He leaned past the open door and looked into Nicole's frozen expression as she tried to stem the tears.  "I haven't finished with you tonight."   His low voice was meant for her ears alone.  “I'll accompany Diane to the hotel and then we'll talk.  There are some things you still don't understand."

"Please, just let me go," said Nicole and Daniel heard the tremor in her voice.  He straightened up and slammed the door as the car pulled away.

James glanced in the mirror and saw the glistening tears make sparkling trails down her cheeks.  "There now, dearie.  I'm sure things are not that bad.  Daniel asked me to come and take him back to you after I leave you off.  He'll make everything right again."

"I feel so hurt," she cried, choking on the lump in her throat, "so humiliated."  She leaned forward and placed her head on the back of the front seat, her tear-streaked face on her arms.

"Daniel is a complex man.  He's very decent but also very calculating.  There's a reason for everything he does, and while the logic of it sometimes escapes us at the beginning it always turns out that he's a few steps ahead of everyone else.  Whatever it is you feel he did to you, I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you.  It's just a lover's quarrel.  You'll make up and everything will be alright."

Nicole wrinkled her nose.  "I'd like to believe that."

She walked into the darkened entrance and heard the purr of the car recede.  Suddenly she panicked.  She couldn't face him now.  She had to be alone.  To think.  To analyze what had happened and how she felt.  She prayed that Ann was at home.  After the fifth ring Ann answered sleepily.

"Can I sleep over at your place tonight?"

“Of course, darling, but what happened?  You sound like you have a cold.  I hope you're not crying." 

At the sound of her friend’s words, Nicole burst out crying.  "I'll tell you everything when I get there."  Nicole wiped away her tears with her hand.  "I've got to get out of here."

Daniel and James sat in Nicole's kitchen.  James poured Daniel another shot of whiskey.

"Are you sure she went into the house?" Daniel asked James for the tenth time.

"Quite sure, sir.  She was in a state.  She cried like a little girl and if I may say so, she said you hurt her very much."

"Yes, damn it.  I know that, but I had no choice.  Diane is a narcissist. She has no compassion.  If she knows the truth about Nicole and me she'll lash out."

"Too bad you didn't think of that before," replied James dryly as Daniel threw a tired look at him.

"I admit it took a while for me to understand that she's bad news, but for God's sake, I cut off all relations with her more than nine months ago."  Daniel leaned forward, touching the table.  "Nicole
fascinates me.  I feel bewitched when I'm with her.  I've never felt so close to any other woman.  I can't lose her again."

"I'm taking the liberty of telling you, that I, and Marie and Joseph as well, feel a great deal of affection for Miss West.  We were under the impression that your feeling and intentions toward her are, how shall I say, very different from those you've shown to other women you have been, ah, friendly with in the past and we shall be very happy if she were to be your wife."

"Yes, James, I know.  The problem is that after today I'm not at all sure she'll want me back.  Where can she be now?"

"She probably went to sleep at a friend's house.  Perhaps it would be best if you left her alone for a while.  She is generous.  When she calms down she'll be ready to listen to you, and if you'll allow me to say so, she loves you with all her heart.  I'm sure she'll forgive you." 

The two men looked deep into their whiskey glasses.

"I hope you're right, James."