Night Gate (28 page)

Rage brushed at some more tears. From the corner of her eye, she saw Elle and Goaty cuddled together with Mr. Walker in a dip in the sand. The sight of them asleep together squeezed her heart, for she loved them all so. As if they felt the intensity of her gaze, they began to stir, and then they were trudging across the shadowy sand to join her and Billy.

“Are you all right?” Elle asked. It wasn’t clear which of them she meant, for she looked at them both with concern. Her eyes were red, too.

Billy said nothing.

“I’m sorry,” Mr. Walker said, his big, soft ears and tail drooping down. He patted Billy’s hand, then climbed into Rage’s lap.

Elle sat down on the other side of Billy. “She always growled at me, but I can’t imagine never being able to smell her again.”

“I could never forget her smell,” Billy said hoarsely, and Rage felt her heart must break.

Goaty said in a low, miserable voice, “She was so brave. Maybe if I had known her better, she could have taught me to be brave, too.”

“I don’t think anyone really knew Mama,” Billy murmured. “Not even me, though I tried so hard. She showed such a little bit of herself, but I always felt that inside her was some vast, wonderful country just waiting for the sun to discover it.”

That made them all silent for a long time.

“She was good,” Goaty said at last. “I was never so good.”

A few faint smears of dull orange on the horizon and then the sky was afire with color. They watched the sun rise without speaking, and the beauty of it, reflected in the silver skin of the sea, was so great as to hurt Rage. This was only the first of many sunrises that Bear would not see.

“I want to see it again,” Billy said suddenly. He stood up. The new sun painted him golden red all over, and his hair hung over his forehead like a lick of pure bronze.

Rage got up, too. “See what?”

“The gate she went through.” Billy pointed.

Rage had not noticed it earlier because they were facing the side of it. The wizard was further along the beach, sitting and staring out to sea. He turned as they approached the night gate, so at the same instant they all saw that the blackness in it had changed.

It was now filled with stars.

“What happened?” Rage whispered. It was as though they were looking at a gateway that truly led to night.

The wizard had come to stand by them, staring into the gate with a look of astounded awe. “I don’t know how this could be, but it has become a world gate.”

“A what?” Elle asked.

“A world gate. A gateway that can be used to travel from one place to another.”

“Then Bear…,” Billy began with heartbreaking hope, but the wizard shook his head.

“I’m sorry, son. When Bear went through it, it was a night gate. A way to nothing.” He frowned. “Somehow, her going in has made it a world gate. I have no idea how or why. It shouldn’t happen. It
couldn’t
happen unless…”

“What?” Billy asked.

The wizard shrugged. “Unless she was actually dying at the moment she entered the gateway.”

Rage stared at the wizard, but she was not seeing him. She was hearing Bear pant and gasp in the tunnels under Fork, hearing the vet say she should be given an easy time, hearing Goaty say blood had come out of her mouth after they had pulled her from the River of No Return.

“She was sick,” Elle said slowly. “I could smell it on her.”

“She was so tired,” Billy said. “She smelled tired all the time.”

The wizard turned back to the door. “It has to be what happened. The night gate became a world gate because her soul magic went into it.”

All of them stared into the gateway.

“Maybe the sun did come to that country inside Mama after all,” Billy said, and though he was crying, he was smiling, too.

Rage thought of her own mother, waiting to be wakened.

“We want to go home,” Rage told the wizard bluntly. She could not bring herself to plead with him or think about the fact that they were related. It had never mattered to him before, and it was too late for it to matter now.

“I can send you,” he replied gravely.

“Will you give me magic to wake Mam?”

“No,” the wizard said gently. “You see, there is no such thing as waking magic.”

Rage stared at him, so devastated that she would have fallen if Billy wasn’t close behind her.

The wizard only smiled sadly. “You are wise for your age, Rage Winnoway, and you have great courage, but you do not know everything.”

“I don’t understand,” Rage said.

“Rage, your spirit shines more brightly than you can ever know. What Adam and Samuel did to Mary is what I did to my brother. They made her believe that she is not worthy of being loved. They made her feel she is unnecessary.”

Rage made a strangled sound that was partly a moan and partly a cry of protest. “She is necessary to
me
! Doesn’t she care about that?”

“She cares deeply for you. But she does not think you need her. She thinks her loss won’t hurt you.”

Rage wanted to cry at the thought that her mother would just go to sleep and leave her all alone, just as her mother’s brother had done to her. One part of Rage grew cold and even angry at Mam, because a mother ought to love her daughter more than a brother. But Mam hadn’t chosen to be sick. Rage thought about how Billy had just gone on loving Bear, no matter how she acted. That was real courage.

She took a deep, shaky breath and then pushed all of the coldness and the sadness out of her heart. “I am Rage Winnoway whose name is also Courage,” she told the startled-looking wizard. “Send me home.”

“I cannot summon up a world gate to send you home from here,” the wizard said. “We must return to Valley and to the castle first. It will take some days, but you can—”

“No,” Rage said, suddenly certain that there was no time to lose. “Can’t I go through the night gate? You said it had become a gateway that would take you from one place to another.”

The wizard looked troubled. “It is a world gate, but I don’t know where you would end up if you went through it. You see, most gates are made by, and are therefore ruled by, the wizards who command their obedience. But this gateway…well, it made itself and it rules itself.
It
will decide where to send you, if anywhere.”

Rage looked into the star-filled gate and smiled. “I’m not afraid. I don’t believe Bear would ever hurt us.”

“But it’s not Bear,” the wizard said. “You mustn’t think that.”

Billy said, “I’m not afraid, either.”

“I am,” Goaty said in a humble voice. “It’s a terrible thing, I know. But I can’t help being a coward.”

Elle said quickly, “It’s not cowardly to be afraid. Sometimes it is wise.” She looked at them all and said proudly, “I have named him, and you must not call him Goaty anymore.”

Rage remembered her whispering into Goaty’s ear just before they entered the bubbles in the Place of Shining Waters. “What is your name?” she asked him.

Goaty gave Elle a smile of shy pride. “I am Gilbert.”

“Gilbert,” Billy echoed. “That’s a good, strong name.”

“It was the name of one of my litter brothers,” Elle said.

“I do not think any of you should go through this gate,” the wizard broke in. “It is too unpredictable.”

“I have to go,” Rage said, but she looked at Goaty, who would not meet her eyes.

“Perhaps Gilbert would prefer to come back to Valley with me, rather than going through the night gate to his own world and resuming an animal life,” the wizard offered.

Rage thought that there were many times in life when you had to make hurtful choices. But sometimes there was no other way to do what was right.
That
was why they had taken Billy from Bear when he was tiny. It had hurt all of them, but it had been the right thing to do.

She turned to the animals. “I have to go back, but I think all of you should go and live in Valley.”

“No!” Billy said.

“Listen,” Rage insisted. “You know what it’s like in our world, being owned by humans and ordered and kept by them. Remember how your family gave you away, Mr. Walker?” He nodded. “And Elle, remember how they were going to kill you, the very day Mam took you from the pound?” Elle nodded, too. “And Billy, think how my grandfather treated Bear.”

The wizard shifted and seemed about to speak, but then he shook his head and remained silent.

“But we belong with you,” Billy said stubbornly. “We’re in no danger. You’d never give us away or hurt us.”

“
I
wouldn’t,” Rage said. “But I might not have any choice. I’m just a child, and I don’t have much more say than an animal in our world. They are likely to take you all away from me because it will be a long time before Mam can come home from the hospital. I’ll probably have to go into a home.”

The animals stared at her soberly.

“But if your mother doesn’t wake,” Mr. Walker said softly, “you’ll be all alone.”

“I
will
wake her,” Rage vowed. “But I wish I could go back there knowing that you are in Valley—all of you—living in the castle, picnicking with Kelpie and the other wild things, exploring the provinces.”

“We will never see you again,” Mr. Walker said in a small voice.

Rage swallowed hard. “I’ll never forget any of you. Never.” She looked at Billy, who had not said a word. His face was white under the brightness of his hair. She turned to the wizard. “Go now to Valley and take them with you.”

“If you must go through the night gate, I think you had better go through it before we leave. It might vanish when I go.”

“Yes, you go first,” Billy urged in a queer, fierce voice. “At least let us see you go.”

Rage fought to hold back tears and made herself smile as she took his hands and looked into his dear face. “I love you, Billy. I love all of you, and I’ll think of you every day.”

She hugged each of them. Then she turned to the gate, hardly able to see it for her tears. “What now?”

“You must enter the gateway with a clear picture in your mind of where you want to go,” the wizard said gravely. “If you are sure.”

“I am sure,” Rage said, and she was, but again she looked at Billy and felt torn in two by the thought that she would never see him again. He was staring at her so hard, she had to turn away from the pull of his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, she jumped through the night gate, but at the same time she felt something hit her hard in the back.

Then she was among the stars and she was not afraid or sad.

She was just floating.

And all at once she heard a child’s voice.

What are you?
it asked.

I am a girl
, Rage said, or thought or dreamed.
I am Rage Winnoway.

What is a ragewinnoway?

I am,
Rage laughed, and the stars seemed to shiver at the sound.

What is that you just did?

I laughed
, Rage said.

I like it. May I remember it?

Yes
.

May I remember you?

Yes.

Rage felt something run through her like an enormous electric shock, only there was no pain.

So
, the voice said, and now it was older and gruff and familiar.
So that was what I was before.

Bear,
Rage whispered.

Your mind told me that this was once my name. I am more than I was then. Now I must find a new name. But I would like to give you a gift for your laughter. What do you wish for?

I want to see Mam.

Goodbye
, said Bear, or whatever it was that Bear had become.

Then Rage was on the grass beside a sign that read
HOPETON GENERAL HOSPITAL
.

Something hit the ground beside her with a great gasping thud, and she looked around to see Billy Thunder. He gave a bark of joy and flung himself on her, licking her wildly, whimpering and wagging his tail with delight.

“Oh, Billy!” Rage cried, remembering the thump in her back and understanding suddenly that he had never intended to let her go alone.

She buried her face in his silky coat and breathed in the doggy smell of him. “Oh, I’m so glad to see you, and so sad!” She looked into his eyes, thinking of all that brightness and curiosity that had grown in him, now lost. “Do you remember everything that happened? I wonder.”

Billy gave a single bark and stared at her very hard.

Her skin prickled, for his eyes looked cleverer than before. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

He barked again, and she hugged him. Somehow, she knew, he had not lost his new ability to think. Perhaps that had been a gift from his mother. After all, he, too, had come through the night gate, and Bear must have recognized him. But he would never be able to tell her what his mother had said to him.

Billy wriggled free of her arms and barked, then pawed at the sign urgently.

“Mam!” Rage gasped. “Of course. Come on.” She started to run toward the main entrance, but Billy whined and growled and tugged at the hem of her coat. “What is it?”