Nights with Uncle Remus (47 page)

“Talk it out, Brer Jack,” said Uncle Remus; “talk it out. All nex' week we'll be fixin' up 'bout Chris'mus. Mars. Jeems, he's a comin' up, en Miss Sally 'll have lots er yuther comp'ny. 'Tildy yer, she'll be busy, en dish yer little chap, he won't have no time fer ter be settin' up wid de ole niggers, en Sis Tempy, she'll have 'er han's full, en ole Remus, he'll be a pirootin' 'roun' huntin' fer dat w'at he kin pick up. Time's a passin', Brer Jack, en we all er passin' wid it. Des whirl in en gin us de upshot er w'at you got in yo' min'.”

“Enty!” exclaimed Daddy Jack, by way of approval. “One time dey bin two bud. One bin sma't bud; da turrer, 'e bin fool bud. Dey bin lif in da sem countree; da bin use in da sem swamp. Da sma't bud, 'e is bin come 'pon da fool bud; 'e bin tahlk. 'E bin say:

“ ‘Ki! you long in da leg, you deep in da craw. You bin 'tan' well; you bin las' long tam.'

“Fool bud, 'e look proud, 'e toss 'e head, 'E say:

“ ‘Me no mekky no brag.'

“Sma't bud, 'e say:

“ ‘Less we try see fer how long tam we is kin go 'dout bittle un drink.'

“Fool bud 'e 'tretch 'e neck, 'e toss 'e head; 'e say:

“ ‘All-a right; me beat-a you all day ebry day. Me beat-a you all da tam.'

“Sma't bud, 'e say:

“ ‘Ef you bin 'gree wit' dis, less we tek we place. You git 'pon da creek-side un tekky one ho'n, I git 'pon da tree y-up dey, un tekky nurrer ho'n. Less we 'tan' dey-dey tell we see how long tam we is kin da 'dout bittle un drink. Wun I blow 'pon me ho'n dun you blow 'pon you' ho'n fer answer me; me blow, you blow, dun we bote blow.'

“Fool bud walk 'bout big; 'e say:

“ ‘Me will do um!'

“Nex' day mornin' come. Da sma't bud bin tekky one ho'n un fly 'pon da tree. De fool bud bin tekky one nurrer ho'n un set by da crik-side. Dey bin sta't in fer starf dey se'f. Da fool bud, 'e stay by da crik-side wey dey bin no'n 'tall fer eat; 'e no kin fin' no bittle dey-dey. Sma't bud git in da tree wey da y-ant un da bug swa'm in da bark plenty. 'E pick dem ant, 'e y-eat dem ant; 'e pick dem bug, 'e y-eat dem bug. 'E pick tell 'e craw come full; he feel berry good.

“Fool bud, 'e down by da crik side. 'E set down, 'e come tire'; 'e 'tan' up, 'e come tire'; 'e walk 'bout; 'e come tire'. 'E 'tan' 'pon one leg, he 'tan' 'pon turrer; 'e pit 'e head need 'e wing; still he come tire. Sma't bud shed 'e y-eye; 'e feel berry good. Wun 'e come hongry, 'e pick ant, 'e pick bug, tell 'e hab plenty, toze dinner time 'e pick up 'e ho'n, 'e toot um strong—

“Fool bud craw bin empty, but 'e hab win'. 'E tekky da ho'n, 'e blow berry well; he mek um say:

“Sma't bud pick ant plenty; 'e git full up. 'E wati tell mos' toze sundown; 'e blow 'pon da ho'n—

“Fool bud mek answer, but 'e come weak; 'e yent hab eat nuttin' 'tall. Soon nex' day mornin' sma't bud tek 'e ho'n un toot um. 'E done bin eat, 'e done bin drink dew on da leaf. Fool bud, 'e toot um ho'n, 'e toot um slow.

“Dinner-time, sma't bud bin tek 'e ho'n un blow; 'e yent bin honkry no'n 'tall; 'e hab good feelin'. Fool bud toot um ho'n; 'e toot um slow. Night tam come, 'e no toot um no mo'. Sma't bud come down, 'e fin' um done gone dead.

“Watch dem 'ceitful folks; 'e bin do you bad.”
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LXVII

“Dat tale,” said Uncle Remus, “puts me in min' er de time w'en ole Brer Tarrypin had a tussle wid Brer Mink. Hit seem lak,” he went on, in response to inquiries from the little boy, “dat dey bofe live 'roun' de water so much en so long, dat dey git kinder stuck up long wid it. Leasways dat 'uz de trouble wid Brer Mink. He jump in de water en swim en dive twel he 'gun ter b'leeve dey want nobody kin hol' der han' long wid 'im.

“One day Brer Mink 'uz gwine long down de creek wid a nice string er fish swingin' on he walkin'-cane, w'en who should he meet up wid but ole Brer Tarrypin. De creetures 'uz all hail feller wid ole Brer Tarrypin, en no sooner is he seed Brer Mink dan he bow 'im howdy. Ole Brer Tarrypin talk 'way down in he th'oat lak he got bad col'. He 'low:

“ ‘Heyo, Brer Mink! Whar you git all dem nice string er fish?'

“Brer Mink 'uz mighty up-en-spoken in dem days. He 'low, he did:

“ ‘Down dar in de creek, Brer Tarrypin.'

“Brer Tarrypin look 'stonish'. He say, sezee:

“ ‘Well, well, well! In de creek! Who'd er b'leev'd it?'

“Brer Mink, sezee: ‘Whar I gwine ketch um, Brer Tarrypin, ef I aint ketch um in de creek?'

“Ole Brer Tarrypin, sezee: ‘Dat's so, Brer Mink; but a highlan' man lak you gwine in de creek atter fish! Hit looks turrible, Brer Mink—dat w'at it do; hit des looks turrible!'

“Brer Mink, sezee: ‘Looks er no looks, dar whar I got um.'

“Brer Tarrypin sorter sway he head fum side ter side, en 'low:

“ ‘Ef dat de case, Brer Mink, den sho'ly you mus' be one er dem ar kinder creeturs w'at usen ter de water.'

“ ‘Dat's me,' sez Brer Mink, sezee.

“ ‘Well, den,' sez Brer Tarrypin, sezee, ‘I'm a highlan' man myse'f, en it's bin mighty long time sence I got my foots wet, but I don't min' goin' in washin' 'long wid you. Ef youer de man you sez you is, you kin outdo me,' sezee.

“Brer Mink, sezee: ‘How we gwine do, Brer Tarrypin?'

“Ole Brer Tarrypin, sezee: ‘We 'ull go down dar ter de creek, en de man w'at kin stay und' de water de longest, let dat man walk off wid dat string er fish.'

“Brer Mink, sezee: ‘I'm de ve'y man you bin lookin' fer.'

“Brer Mink say he don't wanter put it off a minnit. Go he would, en go he did. Dey went down ter creek en make der 'rangerments. Brer Mink lay he fish down on der bank, en 'im en ole Brer Tarrypin wade in. Brer Tarrypin he make great 'miration 'bout how col' de water is. He flinch, he did, en 'low:

“ ‘Ow, Brer Mink! Dish yer water feel mighty col' and 'taint no mo'n up ter my wais'. Goodness knows how she gwine feel w'en she git up und' my chin.'

“Dey wade in, dey did, en Brer Tarrypin say, sezee:

“ ‘Now, den, Brer Mink, we'll make a dive, en de man w'at stay und' de water de longest dat man gits de fish.'

“Brer Mink 'low dat's de way he look at it, en den Brer Tarrypin gun de wud, en und' dey went. Co'se,” said Uncle Remus, after a little pause, “Brer Tarrypin kin stay down in de water longer'n Brer Mink, en Brer Mink mought er know'd it. Dey stay en dey stay, twel bimeby Brer Mink bleedz ter come up, en he tuck'n kotch he breff, he did, lak he mighty glad fer ter git back ag'in. Den atter w'ile Brer Tarrypin stuck he nose out er de water, en den Brer Mink say Brer Tarrypin kin beat 'im. Brer Tarrypin 'low:

“ ‘No, Brer Mink; hit's de bes' two out er th'ee. Ef I beats you dis time den de fish, deyer mine; ef I gits beated, den we kin take n'er trial.'

“Wid dat, down dey went, but Brer Tarrypin aint mo'n dove, 'fo' up he come, en w'iles Brer Mink 'uz down dar honin' fer fresh a'r, he tuck'n gobble up de las' one er de fish, ole Brer Tarrypin did. He gobble up de fish, en he 'uz fixin' fer ter pick he toof, but by dis time Brer Mink bleedz ter come up, en ole Brer Tarrypin, he tuck'n slid down in de water. He slid so slick,” said Uncle Remus, with a chuckle, “dat he aint lef' a bubble. He aint stay down long, n'er, 'fo' he come up en he make lak he teetotally out er win'.

“Ole Brer Tarrypin come up, he did, en look 'roun', en 'fo' Brer Mink kin say a wud, he holler out:

“ ‘Youer nice man, Brer Mink! Youer mighty nice man!'

“ ‘W'at I done now, Brer Tarrypin?'

“ ‘Don't ax me. Look up dar whar you bin eatin' dem fish en den ax yo'se'f. Youer mighty nice man!'

“Brer Mink look 'roun' en, sho nuff, de fish done gone. Ole Brer Tarrypin keep on talkin':

“ ‘You tuck'n come up fust, en w'iles I bin down dar in de water, natally achin' fer lack er win', yer you settin' up chawin' on de fish w'ich dey oughter bin mine!'

“Brer Mink stan' 'im down dat he aint eat dem fish; he 'ny it ter de las', but ole Brer Tarrypin make out he don't b'leeve 'im. He say, sezee:

“ ‘You'll keep gwine on dis away, twel atter w'ile you'll be wuss'n Brer Rabbit. Don't tell me you aint git dem fish, Brer Mink, kaze you know you is.'

“Hit sorter make Brer Mink feel proud kaze ole Brer Tarrypin mix 'im up wid Brer Rabbit, kaze Brer Rabbit wuz a mighty man in dem days, en he sorter laugh, Brer Mink did, lak he know mo' dan he gwine tell. Ole Brer Tarrypin keep on grumblin':

“ ‘I aint gwine ter git mad long wid you, Brer Mink, kaze hit's a mighty keen trick, but you oughter be 'shame' yo'se'f fer ter be playin' tricks on a ole man lak me—dat you ought!'

“Wid dat ole Brer Tarrypin went shufflin' off, en atter he git outer sight he draw'd back in he house en shot de do' en laugh en laugh twel dey want no fun in laughin'.”

LXVIII

The next time the little boy had an opportunity to visit Uncle Remus the old man was alone, but he appeared to be in good spirits. He was cobbling away upon what the youngster recognized as 'Tildy's Sunday shoes, and singing snatches of a song something like this:

The child waited to hear more, but the song was the same thing over and over again—always about Brother Rabbit's big eyes, and his short tail. After a while Uncle Remus acknowledged the presence of his little partner by remarking:

“Well, sir, we er all yer. Brer Jack and Sis Tempy en dat ar 'Tildy nigger may be a pacin' 'roun' lookin' in de fence cornders fer Chris'mus, but me en you en ole Brer Rabbit, we are all yer, en ef we aint right on de spot, we er mighty close erroun'. Yasser, we is dat; mo' speshually old Brer Rabbit, wid he big eye and he short tail. Don't tell me 'bout Brer Rabbit!” exclaimed Uncle Remus, with a great apparent enthusiasm, “kaze dey aint no use er talkin' 'bout dat creetur.”

The little boy was very anxious to know why.

“Well, I tell you,” said the old man. “One time dey wuz a monst'us dry season in de settlement whar all de creeturs live at, en drinkin'-water got mighty skace. De creeks got low, and de branches went dry, en all de springs make der disappearance 'cep'n one great big un whar all de creeturs drunk at. Dey'd all meet dar, dey would, en de bigges' 'ud drink fus', en by de time de big uns all done swaje der thuss
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dey want a drap lef' fer de little uns skacely.

“Co'se Brer Rabbit uz on de happy side. Ef anybody gwine git water Brer Rabbit de man. De creeturs 'ud see he track 'roun' de spring, but dey aint nev' ketch 'im. Hit got so atter w'ile dat de big creeturs 'ud crowd Brer Fox out, en den 'twan't long 'fo' he hunt up Brer Rabbit en ax 'im w'at he gwine do.

“Brer Rabbit, he sorter study, en den he up'n tell Brer Fox fer ter go home en rub some 'lasses all on hisse'f en den go out en waller in de leafs. Brer Fox ax w'at he mus' do den, en Brer Rabbit say he mus' go down by de spring en w'en de creeturs come ter de spring fer ter git dey water, he mus' jump out at um, en den atter dat he mus' waller lak he one er dem ar kinder varment w'at got bugs on um.

“Brer Fox, he put out fer home, he did, en w'en he git dar he run ter de cubbud
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en des gawm hisse'f wid 'lasses, en den he went out in de bushes, he did, en waller in de leafs en trash twel he look mos' bad ez Brer Rabbit look w'en he play Wull-er-de-Wust on de creeturs.

“W'en Brer Fox git hisse'f all fix up, he went down ter de spring en hide hisse'f. Bimeby all de creeturs come atter der water, en w'iles dey 'uz a-scuffin' en a-hunchin', en a-pushin' en a scrougin', Brer Fox he jump out'n de bushes en sorter switch hisse'f 'roun', en, bless yo' soul, he look lak de Ole Boy.

“Brer Wolf tuck'n see 'im fus, en he jump spang over Brer B'ar head. Brer B'ar, he lip back, en ax who dat, en des time he do dis de t'er creeturs dey tuck'n make a break, dey did, lak punkins rollin' down hill, en mos' 'fo youk'n wink yo' eye-ball, Brer Fox had de range er de spring all by hisse'f.

“Yit 'twan't fur long, kaze 'fo' de creeturs mov'd fur, dey tuck'n tu'n 'roun', dey did, en crope back fer ter see w'at dat ar skeery lookin' varment doin'. W'en dey git back in seein' distuns dar 'uz Brer Fox walkin' up en down switchin' hisse'f.

“De creeturs dunner w'at ter make un 'im. Dey watch, en Brer Fox march, dey watch, en he march. Hit keep on dis away twel bimeby Brer Fox 'gun ter waller in de water, en right dar,” continued Uncle Remus, leaning back to laugh, “right dar 'uz whar Brer Rabbit had 'im. Time he 'gun ter waller in de water de 'lasses 'gun ter melt, en twant no time skacely 'fo' de 'lasses en de leafs done all wash off, en dar 'uz ole Brer Fox des ez natchul ez life.