Nights with Uncle Remus (44 page)

Uncle Remus waved his arms, clasped and unclasped his hands, stamped first one foot and then the other, and made various other demonstrations of grief and suffering.

“Brer Rabbit, he shot fus one eye en den de yuther en rub hisse'f on de forrer'd, en 'low:

“ ‘Sho'ly I aint nail yo' tail, Brer Fox; sho'ly not. Look right close, Brer Fox, be keerful. Fer goodness sake don' fool me, Brer Fox!'

“Brer Fox,
he
holler,
he
squall,
he
kick,
he
squeal.

“ ‘Laws 'a' massy, Brer Rabbit! You done nail'd my tail. Onnail me, Brer Rabbit, onnail me!'

“Brer Rabbit, he make fer de ladder, en w'en he start down, he look at Brer Fox lak he right down sorry, en he up'n 'low, he did:

“ ‘Well, well, well! Des ter think dat I should er lamm'd aloose en nail Brer Fox tail. I dunner w'en I year tell er anything dat make me feel so mightly bad; en ef I hadn't er seed it wid my own eyes I wouldn't er bleev'd it skacely—dat I wouldn't!'

“Brer Fox holler, Brer Fox howl, yit 'taint do no good. Dar he wuz wid he tail nail hard en fas'. Brer Rabbit, he keep on talkin' w'iles he gwine down de ladder.

“ ‘Hit make me feel so mighty bad,' sezee, ‘dat I dunner w'at ter do. Time I year tell un it, hit make a empty place come in my stomach,' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee.

“By dis time Brer Rabbit done git down on de groun', en w'iles Brer Fox holler'n, he des keep on a talkin'.

“ ‘Deys a mighty empty place in my stomach,' sezee, ‘en ef I aint run'd inter no mistakes dey's a tin-pail full er vittles in dish yer fence-cornder dat'll des 'bout fit it,' sez ole Brer Rabbit, sezee.

“He open de pail, he did, en he eat de greens, en sop up de 'lasses, en drink de pot-liquor, en w'en he wipe he mouf 'pun he coat-tail, he up'n 'low:

“ ‘I dunner w'en I bin so sorry 'bout anything, ez I is 'bout Brer Fox nice long tail. Sho'ly, sho'ly my head mus' er bin wool-getherin' w'en I tuck'n nail Brer Fox fine long tail,' sez ole Brer Rabbit, sezee.

“Wid dat, he tuck'n skip out, Brer Rabbit did, en 'twan't long 'fo' he uz playin' he pranks in some yuther parts er de settlement.”

“How did Brother Fox get loose?” the little boy asked.

“Oh, you let Brer Fox 'lone fer dat,” responded Uncle Remus. “Nex' ter Brer Rabbit, ole Brer Fox wuz mos' de shiftiest creetur gwine. I boun' you he tuck'n tuck keer hisse'f soon ez Brer Rabbit git outer sight en year'n.”

LX

While the negroes were talking of matters which the little boy took little or no interest in, he climbed into Uncle Remus's lap, as he had done a thousand times before. Presently the old man groaned, and said:

“I be bless ef I know w'at de marter, honey. I dunner whe'er I'm a gittin' fibble in de lim's, er whe'er youer outgrowin' me. I lay I'll hatter sen' out en git you a nuss w'at got mo' strenk in dey lim's dan w'at I is.”

The child protested that he wasn't very heavy, and that he wouldn't have any nurse, and the old man was about to forget that he had said anything about nurses, when Daddy Jack, who seemed to be desirous of appearing good-humored in the presence of 'Tildy, suddenly exclaimed:

“Me bin yeddy one tale 'bout da tam w'en da lil Bear is bin nuss da 'Gator chilluns. 'E bin mek fine nuss fer true. 'E stan' by dem lilly 'Gator tell dey no mo' fer stan' by.”

Seeing that Daddy Jack manifested symptoms of going to sleep, the little boy asked if he wouldn't tell the story, and, thus appealed to, the old African began:

“One tam dey is bin one ole Bear; 'e big un 'e strong. 'E lif way in da swamp; 'e hab nes' in da holler tree. 'E hab one, two lilly Bear in da nes'; 'e bin lub dem chillun berry ha'd. One day, 'e git honkry; 'e tell 'e chillun 'e gwan way off fer git-a some bittle fer eat; 'e tell dem dey mus' be good chillun un stay wey dey lif. 'E say 'e gwan fer fetch dem one fish fer dey brekwus. Dun 'e gone off.

“Da lil Bear chillun hab bin sleep till dey kin sleep no mo'. Da sun, 'e der shine wom, 'e mekky lilly Bear feel wom. Da lil boy Bear, 'e rub 'e y-eye, 'e say 'e gwan off fer hab some fun. Da lil gal Bear, 'e say:

“ ‘Wut will we mammy say?'

“Lil boy Bear, 'e der lahff. 'E say:

“ ‘Me gwan down by da crik side fer ketch some fish 'fo' we mammy come.'

“Lil gal Bear, 'e look skeer; 'e say:

“ ‘We mammy say somet'ing gwan git-a you. Min' wut 'e tell you.'

“Lil boy Bear, 'e keep on lahff. 'E say:

“ ‘Shuh-shuh! 'E yent nebber know less you tell um. You no tell um, me fetch-a you one big fish.'

“Lil boy Bear, 'e gone! 'E gone by da crik side, 'e tek 'e hook, 'e tek 'e line, 'e is go by da crik side fer ketch one fish. Wun 'e come dey-dey, 'e see somet'ing lay dey in de mud. 'E t'ink it bin one big log. 'E lahff by 'ese'f; 'e say:

“ ‘ 'E one fine log fer true. Me 'tan' 'pon da log fer ketch-a da fish fer me lil titty.'
⁹⁷

“Lil boy Bear, 'e der jump down; 'e git 'pon da log; 'e fix fer fish; 'e fix 'e hook, 'e fix 'e line. Bumbye da log moof. Da lil boy Bear holler:

“ ‘Ow ma Lordy!'

“ 'E look down; 'e skeer mos' dead. Da log bin one big 'Gator. Da 'Gator 'e swim 'way wit' da lil boy Bear 'pon 'e bahck. 'E flut 'e tail, 'e knock da lil boy Bear spang in 'e two han'. 'E grin
wide,
'e feel da lil boy Bear wit' 'e nose; 'e say:

“ ‘I tekky you wey me lif; me chillun is hab you fer dey brekwus.'

“Da 'Gator, 'e bin swim toze da hole in da bank wey 'e lif. 'E come by da hole, 'e ca' da lil boy Bear in dey. 'E is call up 'e chillun; 'e say:

“ ‘Come see how fine brekwus me bin brung you.'

“Da ole 'Gator, 'e hab seben chillun in 'e bed. Da lil boy Bear git skeer; 'e holler, 'e cry, 'e beg. 'E say:

“ ‘
Please,
Missy 'Gator, gib me chance fer show you how fine nuss me is—
please,
Missy 'Gator. Wun you gone 'way, me min' dem chillun, me min' um well.'

“Da 'Gator flut 'e tail; 'e say:

“ ‘I try you dis one day; you min' dem lil one well, me luf you be.'

“Da ole 'Gator gone way; 'e luf da lil boy Bear fer min' 'e chillun. 'E gone git somet'ing fer dey brekwus. Da lil boy Bear, 'e set down dey-dey; 'e min' dem chillun; 'e wait un 'e wait. Bumbye, 'e is git honkry. 'E wait un 'e wait. 'E min' dem chillun. 'E wait un 'e wait. 'E 'come so honkry, 'e yent mos' kin hol' up 'e head. 'E suck 'e paw. 'E wait un 'e wait. Da 'Gator no come. 'E wait un 'e wait. Da 'Gator no come some mo'. 'E say:

“ ‘Ow! me no gwan starf me se'f wun da planty bittle by side er me!'

“Da lil boy Bear grab one da lil 'Gator by 'e neck; 'e tek um off in da bush side; 'e der eat um up. 'E no lea' 'e head, 'e no leaf 'e tail; 'e yent leaf nuttin tall. 'E go bahck wey da turrer lil 'gator bin huddle up in da bed. 'E rub 'ese'f 'pon da 'tomach; 'e say:

“ ‘Hoo! me feel-a too good fer tahlk 'bout. I no know wut me gwan fer tell da ole 'Gator wun 'e is come bahck. Ki! me no keer. Me feel too good fer t'ink 'bout dem t'ing. Me t'ink 'bout dem wun da 'Gator is bin come; me t'ink 'bout dem bumbye wun da time come fer t'ink.'

“Da lil boy Bear lay down; 'e quile up in da 'Gator bed; 'e shed 'e y-eye; 'e sleep ha'd lak bear do wun ef full up. Bumbye mos' toze night, da 'Gator come; 'e holler:

“ ‘Hey! lil boy Bear! How you is kin min' me chillun wun you is gone fer sleep by um?'

“Da lil boy Bear, 'e set up 'pon 'e ha'nch; 'e say:

“ ‘Me y-eye gone fer sleep, but me year wide 'wake.'

“Da 'Gator flut 'e tail; 'e say:

“Wey me chillun wut me leaf you wit'?'

“Da lil boy Bear 'come skeer; 'e say:

“ ‘Dey all dey-dey, Missy 'Gator. Wait! lemme count dem, Missy 'Gator:

“Da 'Gator y-open 'e mout, 'e grin wide; 'e say:

“ ‘Oona nuss dem well, lil boy Bear; come, fetch-a me one fer wash un git 'e supper.'

“Da lil boy Bear, 'e ca' one, 'e ca' nurrer, 'e ca' turrer, 'e ca' um all tel 'e ca' six, den 'e come skeer. 'E t'ink da 'Gator gwan fine um out fer true. 'E stop, 'e yent know wut fer do. Da 'Gator holler:

“ ‘Fetch-a me turrer!'

“Da lil boy Bear, 'e grab da fus one, 'e wullup um in da mud, 'e ca' um bahck. Da 'Gator bin wash un feed um fresh; 'e yent know da diffran.

“Bumbye, nex' day mornin', da 'Gator gone 'way. Da lil boy Bear stay fer nuss dem lil 'Gator. 'E come honkry; 'e wait, but 'e come mo' honkry. 'E grab nurrer lil 'Gator, 'e eat um fer 'e dinner. Mos' toze night, da 'Gator come. It sem t'ing:

“ ‘Wey me chillun wut me leaf you fer nuss?'

“ ‘Dey all dey-dey, Missy 'Gator. Me count um out:

“ 'E ca' um one by one fer wash un git dey supper. 'E ca' two bahck two tam. Ebry day 'e do dis way tell 'e come at de las'. 'E eat dis one, un 'e gone luf da place wey da 'Gator lif. 'E gone down da crik side tell 'e is come by da foot-log, un 'e is run 'cross
queek.
'E git in da bush, 'e fair fly tell 'e is come by da place wey 'e lil titty bin lif. 'E come dey-dey, un 'e yent go way no mo'.”

LXI

The little boy was not particularly pleased at the summary manner in which the young Alligators were disposed of; but he was very much amused at the somewhat novel method employed by the Bear to deceive the old Alligator. The negroes, however, enjoyed Daddy Jack's story immensely, and even 'Tildy condescended to give it her approval; but she qualified this by saying, as soon as she had ceased laughing:

“I 'clar' ter goodness you all got mighty little ter do fer ter be settin' down yer night atter night lis'nin' at dat nigger man.”

Daddy Jack nodded, smiled, and rubbed his withered hands together apparently in a perfect ecstacy of good-humor, and finally said:

“Oona come set-a by me, lil gal. 'E berry nice tale wut me tell-a you. Come sit-a by me, lil gal; 'e berry nice tale. Ef you no want me fer tell-a you one tale, dun you is kin tell-a me one tale.”

“Humph!” exclaimed 'Tildy, contemptuously, “you'll set over dar in dat cornder an dribble many's de long day 'fo' I tell you any tale.”

“Look yer, gal!” said Uncle Remus, pretending to ignore the queer courtship that seemed to be progressing between Daddy Jack and 'Tildy, “you gittin' too ole for ter be sawin' de a'r wid yo' head en squealin' lak a filly. Ef you gwine ter set wid folks; you better do lak folks does. Sis Tempy dar aint gwine on dat away, en she aint think 'erse'f too big fer ter set up dar en jine in wid us en tell a tale, needer.”

This was the first time that Uncle Remus had ever condescended to accord 'Tildy a place at his hearth on an equality with the rest of his company, and she seemed to be immensely tickled. A broad grin spread over her comely face as she exclaimed:

“
Oh!
I 'clar' ter goodness, Unk Remus, I thought dat ole nigger man wuz des a projickin' 'long wid me. Ef it come down ter settin' up yer 'long wid you all an' tellin' a tale, I aint 'nyin' but w'at I got one dat you all aint never year tell un, kaze dat ar Slim Jim w'at Mars. Ellick Akin got ont'n de speckerlater
⁹⁹
waggin, he up'n tell it dar at Riah's des 'fo' de patter-rollers tuck'n slipt up on um.”

“Dar now!” remarked Aunt Tempy. 'Tildy laughed boisterously.

“W'at de patter-rollers do wid dat ar Slim Jim?” Uncle Remus inquired.

“Done nothin'!” exclaimed 'Tildy, with an air of humorous scorn. “Time dey got in dar Slim Jim 'uz up de chimbly, an' Riah' uz noddin' in one cornder an' me in de udder. Nobody never is ter know how dat ar long-leg nigger slick'd up dat chimbly—dat dey aint. He put one foot on de pot-rack,
¹⁰⁰
an' whar he put de t'er foot
I
can't tell you.”

“What was the story?” asked the little boy.

“I boun' fer you, honey!” exclaimed Uncle Remus.

“Well den,” said 'Tildy, setting herself comfortably, and bridling a little as Daddy Jack manifested a desire to give her his undivided attention—“well, den, dey wuz one time w'en ole Brer Rabbit 'uz bleedz ter go ter town atter sump'n n'er fer his famerly, an' he mos' 'shame' ter go kaze his shoes done wo' tetotally out. Yit he bleedz ter go, an' he put des ez good face on it ez he kin, an' he take down he walkin'-cane an' sot out des ez big ez de next un.

“Well, den, ole Brer Rabbit go on down de big road twel he come ter de place whar some folks bin camp out de night befo', an' he sot down by de fier, he did, fer ter wom his foots, kaze dem mawnin's 'uz sorter cole, like deze yer mawnin's. He sot dar an' look at his toes, an' he feel mighty sorry fer hisse'f.

“Well, den, he sot dar, he did, en 'twan't long 'fo' he year sump'n n'er trottin' down de road, an' he tuck'n look up an' yer come Mr. Dog a smellin' an' a snuffin' 'roun' fer ter see ef de folks lef' any scraps by der camp-fier. Mr. Dog 'uz all dress up in his Sunday-go-ter-meetin' cloze, an' mo'n dat, he had on a pa'r er bran new shoes.