Nil on Fire (21 page)

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Authors: Lynne Matson

BOOK: Nil on Fire
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Search.

Look inside.

Below the words, two smaller letters read
S. B.
All had a similar slant, as if carved by the same hand.

“Did you carve these words?” A powerful hope filled Paulo's eyes.

Shaking my head, I knelt beside him. With one finger, I traced the letters
S. B
. “These are my initials,” I said, “and my uncle's.” I glanced at Paulo. “Scott Bracken, the same uncle who met your aunt Rika.”

He exhaled, relaxing. “I was right to bring you here today,” he said with certainty. “I knew this was a clue. I'd thought perhaps you left it for me, but now I know your uncle left it for you.”

How could there be a twenty-year-old clue?
I wondered.

You have a twenty-year-old journal
, my mind offered helpfully.

I read aloud. “‘Look inside'? What does that even mean? I know they searched for gates, like us. But what does ‘Look inside' mean? Look inside what? Ourselves? This rock?”

The rock didn't budge.

“I don't know,” Paulo admitted. He regarded me carefully. “I didn't know you shared the same initials as your uncle, the one who knew my aunt. The one who told him about his destiny.”

Your destiny wraps the island from beginning to end
, Paulo's aunt had told my uncle.

But you didn't end it
, my guilty conscience said.
You failed.

Then, like the whisper of the wind, a gentle thought brushed the others away.

It is not over yet.

Rives stood near the Man in the Maze, his profile to me, deep in conversation with Thad. Neither boy looked my way.

I closed my eyes, hearing the echo of a thought that wasn't mine. Nil was everywhere: my past, my present, and maybe even still in my head. Or was that thought mine after all, whispered by my conscience? I couldn't sort it all out.

“Skye?”

I glanced up at Paulo.

“In the weeks after you left, I sat here a lot, alone, thinking. The day I found this carving, I was specifically thinking of
you
. It's like this carving was here, but I didn't see it right away. Granted, the carving is shallow, and dirt had blurred the letters, but still. I didn't see these letters until I was thinking about you. And now you're here. Again. It feels—weird. Like a coincidence but not really.”

There are no coincidences on Nil.
Johan's words haunted me.

The letters, my initials. My failure and my return.

“What did we miss?” I asked Paulo, desperate for understanding. “We
failed
, Paulo. The island wanted to die; I think it still does. It's why I'm here, why I'm back. I
feel
it. So what didn't we do last time? What didn't we see?”

“Skye, I've rewound that last day a million times, and I still have no answer. And since then? The island is—” He paused. “Different. Crueler. It's the best word I can think of. More vicious, more volatile. I'll see a rabbit one day, only to have a gate take it away before I can snare it. Then a camel falls out of the next gate, only to be eaten by a lion, and I don't even eat camels so it's like a warning:
You're next.
” He shook his head. “There've been two earthquakes since you left. The first not so bad, but the second one opened steam vents on Mount Nil. The island is restless. I constantly
feel
a restlessness, and it isn't mine.”

“Like the exhaustion wasn't mine,” I said. Understanding crept close, then drifted away before I could grasp it.

“Looks like you found a little island graffiti.” Rives's hands rested gently on my bare shoulders. “Your uncle's?”

“I think so.” I stared at the rock, at the words etched in stone, letters looking back at me.

Search.

Look inside.

“He wrote in his journal that he heard the island telling him to search,” I said slowly. Was my uncle to search, or was this word left for me? Was it a mission left for someone else, for
anyone
else? Was there a difference, and did it matter?

Did the island tell him to leave this mark?

I spun around, moving so fast I startled Rives. “The island told my uncle to search,” I said. “But he didn't know what he was supposed to search
for
. Gates? Answers? Understanding? People?” A familiar sense of frustration washed through me. “We're back to square one, Rives. Sure, we know how to leave. We've got three months until our gate opens. But this time, we need to do more while we're here. We
have
to figure out how to end Nil. Or at least destroy all the gates.” My voice reflected the urgent determination I felt.

Search.

Look inside.

“Maybe we aren't looking in the right places.” My hands gripped Rives's forearms tight; my eyes stayed locked on his. “The problem is, we don't know what we're looking
for
, but we've got to figure it out because if we don't, then we're just resetting the clock,
again
, and the next group will be even worse off. This place is getting crueler, Paulo said so himself. Rives, we've got to search—”

He gently put a finger to my lips.

“We
will
search, Skye. We'll search this whole island. For people, for clues, for answers, and one epic island-ending solution. If it exists, we'll find it. But not today. Today we need to get to the City, meet the people already there, and get everyone up to speed. And then as a team, we'll make a plan, together. One step at a time. One
day
at a time. Okay?”

His green eyes were clear and bright, reassuring and ready—like Rives himself.

I nodded. “You're right. Totally right.” I forced myself to take a slow breath. “Let's get a move on back to the City. But tomorrow, we start searching. For anything unexpected. For island clues. For what we missed the first time. Deal?”

“Deal.” Rives smiled.

The breeze ruffled my hair, whispering like the girl in the dark, the one I couldn't see until I chose to look. But this whisper was everywhere.

So I'll look everywhere
, I thought, lifting my chin.
Inside, outside, in every Nil nook and cranny. No stone will be left unturned.

Switching subjects, Rives asked Paulo about the City, food stores, and a myriad of other daily details that seemed basic to survival, but I didn't add any questions of my own. I didn't just want to survive; I wanted
more
. I wanted escape and closure and an unequivocal end to it all. That was
my
focus, it always had been. I was already looking three months out, and I'd only been back for one day.

Less than a day
, I reminded myself.
More like an afternoon.

It felt like months, not hours. The exhaustion I'd experienced last time on Nil had roared back as if I'd never left. It had hit me the instant I'd come through the gate, initially making it hard to wake. Now fatigue swirled around me like a thick breeze pressing against my mind like the darkness of my dreams, but my constant fight with the darkness had served me well. Now I both acknowledged the fatigue and defied it, because I recognized it was Nil's weariness, not mine. There was an invisible line defining where I ended and Nil began, a line I recognized, a line I reinforced because my mind was
mine
.

I looked at Rives and felt the same.
Mine
, I thought.

I would protect all that was mine, with all that I had.

Concern flitted through Rives's eyes. “Skye?”

“Rives?” I countered, lifting my eyebrows.

A grin played at the corners of his mouth. “I know you've got it all under control, but for the record? I don't like you being last.” He gestured ahead, to where everyone else waited.

“You never have. What makes today any different?”

Rives's jaw tightened. The flash of levity was gone. “Don't look, but I think we're being followed.”

 

CHAPTER

32

RIVES

94 DAYS UNTIL THE AUTUMNAL EQUINOX

“Followed?” Skye's body twitched as she fought the urge to look behind her. “By what?”

“Not what. Who. I think it's a person. Maybe Lana. Maybe more than one person. I don't know. My guess is that they're scared and keeping their distance until they figure us out. I just wanted you to know, okay?” I fought the urge to grab her and run, even though there was nowhere to go.

Eyes everywhere
, I thought. Mine stayed wide open.

I kept my hands to myself. Instead, I winked. “Once your wingman, always your wingman.”

Zane coughed. “Okay, lovebirds, let's get a move on before something decides to make us a snack. I'll feel better when we hit the City.”

“Echo that.” Thad nodded once then turned to me. “You've got the rear?” he asked, his eyes sharp. He was really warning
Watch your back
. He knew we were being followed too.

I nodded.

We climbed single-file down the south cliff, toward Black Bay. Narrower than South Beach, Black Bay lounged between two steep cliffs, like the ocean had scooped out a massive arc of rock, leaving a curved beach arching inward and lined with trees. At the heart of the bay, the scrub thickened. Trees gathered in awkward clumps, perfect places for things—both deadly and docile—to hide.

Without discussion, we hugged the water. In the fading afternoon light, coal-black sand glittered in the surf. Larger rocks littered the bay, visible through the clear water, their black tops repeatedly painted with froth. Black on black, the bay was a dark place, especially at night.

Thad strolled beside and slightly behind me. He kept glancing at the trees to our right.

For my part, I kept a close watch on our back. We hadn't lost our invisible shadow yet. I still felt him—or her.

My money was still on Lana.

“Thad's almost as observant as you,” Skye said quietly, and sighed. “He's really struggling. He's been away from Nil for so long. I can't imagine what he's thinking right now.”

“My guess is that he's thinking about Charley. He met her here. On this beach.”

“I didn't know.” Sympathy flashed through her eyes, and understanding.

I shrugged. “No way you would. Before your time.” Skye knew so much about Nil, more than I did, that sometimes I forgot she didn't know everything. That there was a past here she didn't live, didn't read. Didn't know.

Up ahead, Paulo, Zane, and Kenji walked a few meters apart from one another, not talking. Everyone seemed lost in their own heads. Or maybe that was just me.

Nil air wrapped around us, cool and salty. Even our breath came at Nil's mercy.

Three months
, I told myself. Ninety days.

Merde.

So much time, too much time. So much could happen in one day. It already had.

Look around. Pay attention.

All I could see was Skye; all I could
feel
was Skye. Beside me, in my head. In my soul. Talk about an epic blind spot. Shaking out my fists, I worked to control my breathing, knowing I needed to get my head clear or I'd get us both killed. Or miss something important that could help—or hurt—us later.

I wrenched my head back into Nil's game.

Skye was still watching Thad walk alone.

“I feel terrible that he's here,” she said. “Even though I know it's not my fault, it feels like it is.” She sighed. “And I think he's still upset with me.”

“No, he's not. He's in shock. At being here, being back. But he'll get over it soon.” I thought of his clear eyes back at the tube-side grave after he'd pulled himself together, and the way he now methodically swept the trees. “I think he already has.”

“Really?” Relief mixed with curiosity in her tone. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because Charley's safe.” This answer poured out without thinking.

Thad's worst-case scenario hadn't come to pass. But mine had. Skye was here, and I couldn't protect her. Nil had driven that lesson home, hard.

“It's going to be okay,” she said confidently. She didn't have to read my mind to know my fear. “We'll make it.”

Of course she believed that. She was as optimistic as her dad, but this was Nil we were talking about. Plus, this Nil was more cruel, more vicious; Paulo had said so himself. And it was this crueler Nil that had pulled her back.

I spun toward Skye, taking her hands in mine, needing her to listen.

“Look, Skye, I hate that you're here—”

“I know—” Skye started, but I kept talking as if she'd never spoken.

“—but you are.
We
are. And as much as I hate to admit it, I can't protect you, not here. Not against Nil. God knows I've tried, but I can't. So I'm only going to ask you once. Please don't do anything reckless, or alone. Think about things before you do them, okay? Come to me. We'll do this as a team. Seriously, don't do anything stupid.”

“Like drink deadsleep tea?” She raised her eyebrows.

“That was different,” I said flatly.

“Was it?”

“Yes.”

She crossed her arms. “I promise I won't drink deadsleep tea if you won't.”

Her fierce gaze held mine.

“I really do think it'll be okay,” she said quietly.

“I know you do.” My tone was flat. Beneath it roiled emotion too strong to let out. “I just hope you're right.”

Leaving the black sand, we threaded through the trees, making for the shortcut through the cliff. A black slice marked the entrance, an opening dusted with diamonds and light.

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