Nil on Fire (48 page)

I stared at him, stunned.
He doesn't know. He doesn't know Skye brought fire into the gate. That Skye sacrificed herself for humanity's future.

That she was gone.

“This island is unstable, and it's on fire.” His voice softened. “It's time to go, son.”

“He's right.” Thad's quiet voice sounded behind me. I turned to find him flanked by Lana and Charley. The pair wore matching expressions of shock and grief. “Skye would want you to go. She would want you to live.”

I'm asking you to live
, Skye had told me, tears in her eyes, resolve in her heart.
To walk into that gate and let me go.

I'd left her behind. She'd asked me to, but the choice was mine.

Her choice was selfless. Mine had felt forced. And yet I'd have to live with it, with Skye's death on my hands.

The heat intensified. Around us, the trees spat flames.

I stared at the platform until Thad ripped me away.

And then I ran. Through the trees, away from the platform, toward the water and the waiting boat.

Away from Skye.

The mountain rumbled. Behind us, billowing steam filled the night sky, obliterating the stars. The Death Twin burned.

I'd
lost
.

Skye was gone, forever.

Live
, she'd said.

How could I live without her?

 

CHAPTER

80

SKYE

AUTUMNAL EQUINOX, MIDNIGHT

Salty night air kissed my skin seconds before I hit the water. Black night and brilliant stars fought with billowing smoke and spitting flames; below me, inky water glittered like the deepest part of a gate, the sort of darkness with the potential to suck you under forever—the kind of darkness where you could be lost. I struck the water, and went under.

Water as cold as the Crystal Cove pressed against my mouth, dark and searching and wanting more; it wrapped me in ice, as constrictive as a gate and just as deadly. There was no up or down, no right or left; every direction pressed in equally cold, equally black.

All deadly.

I writhed in the gate, burning.

I twisted in the gate, freezing.

I was on Nil.

I was part of Nil.

I was one with Nil.

Birth, life, death.

Time slowed, time stopped. Rewound, sped up, fast-forwarded, and paused; every second I'd lived settled into the
now
.

Now, I was me.

Now, I was
free
.

Think.

I stopped fighting the water. I relaxed, letting myself float, relying on my own body to tell me which direction to go. Then I kicked, hard, with everything I had. When I broke the surface, I barely avoided being slammed by a falling piece of flaming rock; I ducked back underwater at the last minute. Sparks and debris and ash fell around me, fireworks raining from the sky. I strained to make out any sign of a boat. Surely my dad would've brought a boat. The moon and flames glowed across the water, helping me get my bearings, bright enough to tell me that the shallow beach was on the opposite side of the island.

Start swimming, Skye
, I told myself.
You can do this.

I started toward the island's rocky coastline, but the current fought to pull me away.

The Death Twins
, our boat captain had called them. And now the deadly current rushing between the islands was pulling me out to sea.

I fought and I swam and when my strength flagged I floated on my back. I closed my eyes, trying to think my way out of this new mess. If I'd made it off Nil only to die at sea, the irony was ridiculous.

Like Uncle Scott
, I thought.

But I'm not Uncle Scott.

I started swimming again, fiercely, sideways, out of the riplike current running between the islands, determined to make it back alive.

Someone yelled my name. I stopped swimming.

“Get in,” a familiar voice said. It belonged to the last person I wanted to see.

I turned to find Carmen in a canoe, floating a few feet away on the inky water. She wore a gray T-shirt and dark shorts, her wardrobe choices telling me my dad was close.

Why would I get in a canoe with a girl who just an hour ago wanted me dead?

“I won't hurt you,” she said quietly, offering her hand. “You have my word.”

The shore was still a good thirty feet away, and past the rocks, the island burned. Flames reached for the stars. Even if I
could
make it to the island, no one would be there. No one would stick around for the island finale, which might involve the steaming volcano.

Plus, I was tired. Dead tired.

I stared at Carmen's offered hand. Dad's words rang in my ears.

Sometimes … you must take a chance.

It was how I had ended up on Nil to begin with, and it was how I had survived.

I took her hand.

Carmen dragged me into the canoe, where she handed me a similar pair of shorts and one of my own tank tops.
Thanks, Dad
, I thought.

But I didn't take my eyes off Carmen.

“Why?” I asked as I picked up the extra paddle. “Why help me now?”

“Because you were stronger than me in all the ways that counted. You were right,” she admitted haltingly. “About the island. It got in my head. Back on the island, that was not me.”

Carmen turned away. I stared at her back, realizing that was her way of apologizing. It was her way of redeeming herself,
for
herself.

She'd given herself a second chance, and it happened to involve me. Saving me after killing me.

Nil wasn't the only place weirdness happened.

Still, I couldn't bring myself to thank her. After all, she
had
tried to kill me, twice.

“Everyone else is over there,” Carmen said, her paddle slicing silently through the water with remarkably powerful strokes. My arms were so shaky I could barely lift my paddle, but this fatigue was
mine
, born of
my
experiences,
my
fight to survive,
my
triumph of will to break free. I'd earned this fatigue, and I reveled in it. Because as tired as I was, I was here.

Nil's end was not mine.

We rounded the bend, angling toward the shallow beach. A boat was anchored in deep water. On the beach, a few people milled around. Others were already in canoes, heading toward the big boat. Molly, Davey, and Calvin were already on the large boat; so were Dominic, Zane, and Lana. Kenji and James were pushing a canoe off the beach with my dad's help. Thad and Charley stood at the water's edge, heads slightly bent, hands clasped. The tiger was nowhere to be seen.

Rives sat alone on the beach, backlit by the island fire. He wore only athletic shorts, his body turned toward the mountain, his face wet with tears.

Rives.

I realized he couldn't see us in the darkness, and no one was looking our way. All eyes were trained on the Death Twin's smoking mountain, or on my dad's deep-sea boat. We paddled silently, gliding over the water. It wasn't until the bow of the canoe struck the beach that anyone noticed.

“Skye!” Charley cried. She waved wildly.

Rives's head snapped toward her. She pointed to me; his gaze followed. Our eyes caught. He stood, his jaw falling open. He watched me walk toward him. He didn't move.

“Are you real?” he whispered. His voice was raw. “Tell me this is real. Tell me Nil isn't still messing with my head. Skye?”

“I'm real.” I reached out and wrapped my hand around his clenched fist. “This is real.
We're
real. And Nil is history.” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. First softly, then fiercely. I smiled as I wrapped my hands around his waist, my lips tingling from Rives's touch. “How was that? Was that real enough?”

“How?” His face still read shock. “The gate closed. It
exploded
. You didn't come through.”

“I had a water landing. I don't remember much, but I do remember flying through the air, and waking just before I went under.”

With a groan, Rives swept me close, holding me tight. “You make me crazy, you know that?”

“I know.” I smiled against his chest. “It's one of my specialties.”

“Mad skills,” he whispered. He kissed my temple, then my cheek, my neck, my collarbone, as if he couldn't get enough, as if he'd never get enough. Abruptly, he stopped.

“Skye,” he said slowly, his voice measured as he held me gently at arm's length. “What happened?” His eyes lingered on my bare shoulders before landing on my eyes. “After you took the torch into the gate?”

“Love saved me,” I said simply. “Yours, mine. Ours. Others'. Nil let me live.”

“And you're sure Nil is—” He paused, wrestling for the perfect word. “Gone?”

I nodded. “I felt it let me go. The dark side hesitated, or weakened, and the good side won. Or maybe the light overwhelmed the dark, just for an instant. Either way, I felt the seam close behind me. Nil is trapped, between worlds, without access to the power it needs. It's over.”

Rives's finger brushed my shoulder blade.

“But it left a mark.”

“On everyone,” I agreed.

“I mean on
you
. On your shoulder.”

“What?” I wrenched around but I couldn't see anything. Then I remembered the cold hand that pushed me through. Had Nil left a mark? A chill crept down my spine. “What does it look like?”

“Like ice,” Thad said.

“No, it looks like the inside of a gate,” Charley said. She inspected my shoulder blade with a flashlight. “It glitters in the light, but it has to catch the light to be seen. It's lines of silvery light, shaped sort of like a diamond. It's actually really cool.”

Thad snorted. Rives didn't look amused.

“Do you still feel Nil?” Rives asked. “In your head? In your heart? Anywhere?”

I remembered the suffocating layer that had peeled away just before I flew through; the same weighty layer that had vanished in the moment before the ice hit, before I blacked out, before the seam had sealed shut. And when I'd woken, I'd felt light. Lighter than I had in months.

I'd felt like
me
.

I went deeper, searching. Nil's memories remained only as ghosts: wispy fragments, dulled by my human ability to access the lingering remnants still in my memory banks. Their weight and substance were gone. My memories were truly mine, just like my mind, and my heart, and my soul.

“Skye?” Rives's worried voice brought me back. “You're scaring me. Talk to me. Please.”

I met his eyes, this boy who walked into a gate for me, who gave up everything for me,
because I'd asked him to
. And yet he'd been there, with me, until the end. Until
Nil'
s end. And somehow, he'd reached through, to guide me back, just as I'd reached for him. I'd felt him, and so had Nil.

Together, we had been
more
.

And we still were.

“There's nothing to be afraid of.” I covered his hand with mine, knowing it was true. “Nil's end is written; it's over, for good. Forever. Our future belongs to us.”

Rives's lips curved into a smile, the one that made the rest of the world fall away. “To now,” he whispered, his green eyes full of heat and hope.

I pulled him to me, reveling in the love that brought me to this moment. “To now,” I agreed, my lips finding his.

*   *   *

Now is just the beginning.

My name is Skye Bracken, and this is the truth.

 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Writing acknowledgments for the last book in a series brings a heightened case of
oh-my-land-I-need-to-thank-everyone
combined with a hefty dose of
please-don't-let-me-forget-anyone.
☺ But at least I know where to start.

Thanks to God, for with Him all things are possible … like creating the fictional world of Nil that I've been blessed to live in for the past five years.

This trilogy—and of course, this final Nil book, with its stunning cover and gorgeous graphics—would not exist without the incredible support, hard work, and tireless enthusiasm of the following people:

Jennifer Unter, my literary agent extraordinaire, who I'm grateful for
every
day. You are THE BEST! Thank you for making my publishing dreams come true, for working so hard to bring Charley, Thad, Rives, and Skye to readers everywhere, and for your unwavering support. Thank you for making this book, and this journey, possible.☺

Kate Farrell, my brilliant editor, who expertly brought this trilogy to life. Four years ago, you took a chance on a debut author, and I'm so incredibly grateful you did.☺ Thank you so much for your enthusiasm, your patience, your wisdom, and your vision; I can't imagine a more perfect editor for this series. All the thanks and Nil love I can send you are yours! YOU ARE AWESOME!

The incredible lovelies at Macmillan and Henry Holt, including Rachel Murray, Brittany Pearlman, Molly Brouillette, Allison Verost, Caitlin Sweeney, Mary Van Akin, Ksenia Winnicki, April Ward, Elizabeth Dresner, Liz Fithian, and the rest of the wonderful publishing team who brought this book, and this
series
, into the world. You lit the Nil fire! The Macmillan #NILtribe is the absolute BEST.☺

The YA Valentines (Sara Raasch, Bethany Hagen, Lindsay Cummings, Bethany Crandell, Phil Siegel, Sara B. Larson, Amy Rolland, Anne Blankman, Paula Stokes, Kristi Helvig, Jen McConnel, Jaye Robin Brown, Kristen Lippert-Martin) aka THE BEST WRITING SUPPORT GROUP EVER. This journey would not have been the same—or nearly as fun—without y'all.☺

Becky Wallace, Tonya Kuper, Lindsay Currie, Trisha Leaver, and Nicole Castroman: I love your brains and your kindness, your generosity and your friendship.☺ How did I get so lucky?