No Escape (21 page)

“I don’t know.” She looked away from his intense blue gaze. It was so tempting to get sucked in by his sincerity. She’d never seen him so earnest or open before. But the wounded child inside her remembered too well the pain of being pushed from the center of her father’s life.

Paul cursed.

“I’m sorry,” Tessa cried out. “I had no idea you felt this way. I need some time to think about it—I can’t just let go of everything that I’ve known for the last twenty-five years.” She felt bad about the obvious pain her words caused, but her sense of self-preservation was strong after repeated disappointments from her father.

“Don’t be sorry,” Paul said as he got to his feet. “I should have known it wouldn’t be that simple to bury the past. You’re too damned stubborn to let me off easy.”

“That’s not it. Don’t make it sound like some kind of petty game I’m playing.”

“You’re right. It’s not a game,” Paul reached a side pocket of the jacket he’d thrown down earlier. “Forget about us for a minute. I know we can’t solve a lifetime of problems in the time I have before my flight. The best I can do is help keep you around long enough so that we can have it out later.”

“I’ll take care of her,” Luke said.

“You can try,” Paul agreed. “But I figured my daughter would be too pigheaded to listen to reason. So I’ve called in a few favors. You’re going to be the guests of honor at the next meeting of the multiagency task force investigating Club Red Inc.”

“But that meeting isn’t scheduled for another month,” Tessa said.

“Wrong. I talked to the head of the FBI’s West Coast operations, and in light of recent events he’s agreed to convene a meeting on Wednesday. It will take that long to give the out-of-town people sufficient notice and travel time. And it will also give you and Luke a chance to come up with some concrete evidence.”

“What do you think we’ve been trying to do?” Tessa asked from between clenched teeth.

“Try harder. I can get you into the meeting, but from there you’re on your own. Either you bring something good to the table on Wednesday, or the investigation will move on around you. You won’t get another chance.”

“No pressure there,” Luke muttered under his breath.

“She can do it, Novak. If you didn’t believe that, I don’t think you’d be standing behind her.”

“Hell, I know she can. I’m just concerned about putting more pressure on her when she’s in pain and grieving for a lost friend.”

“Are you saying you believe in me?” Tessa asked her father. “You trust me to get the job done?”

“Of course I do. I always have, I just don’t know how to express it when you get all prickly and distant with me,” Paul said. He continued speaking over her protest at his choice of words. “If there’s someone out there who needs help, I can’t think of a better person to come to the rescue than you, Tessa. But you’ve got a tender heart and trusting nature, which is why I’ll feel better if you have a renegade like Luke Novak along.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Tessa murmured.

“Well, that’s three times I’ve had you speechless today—and all before noon. Things might just be looking up for us, my girl. Unfortunately, I have to leave now.”

“Go take care of them. Send Kevin my love. And—and
give Lana my best,” Tessa said, glad she barely stumbled over the words.

“We’re all very proud of you.” Paul said. He cleared his throat and picked up his coat. “I’ll see myself out. You can reach us on my satellite phone.”

In the silence that followed, Tessa stared at the floor and wondered how she had come to this point in such a short space of time. A month ago her life had been quiet, orderly, and slightly boring. Now she wasn’t sure how much more excitement she could survive.

“Well, that’s it,” she said. “My life is officially out of control.”

“Look at the bright side.” Luke lightly massaged her tense shoulders as he spoke. “I’m guessing that your wrist doesn’t hurt right now.”

“What wrist?”

“I thought so. Let’s get dressed and take a walk on the beach before it gets too crowded, okay?”

“Fine.”

Santa Monica, California

Sunday afternoon, March 14

“W
ho were you talking to?” Tessa asked as she looked out over the line of waves coming toward her. Luke had just caught up with her on the beach, having paused to answer his cell phone a moment earlier.

“Chantal Francoeur, forensic accountant and money laundering expert extraordinaire. She said the documents from the task force had arrived, and she was going to review them tonight. Hopefully she’ll be ready when we meet her tomorrow morning, but only if you’re feeling up to it.”

“I’ll have to be. We don’t have much time.” Tessa sighed.

“We have as much time as you need. If you’re hurting, you won’t be in any shape to provide the information that Chantal is going to need.”

“My wrist is fine, I barely think about it.” Her heart was hurting much more. Watching the surfers catch waves into shore had made her think painfully of Ed and his morning surfing ritual.

Luke slipped a casual arm around her shoulder and used it to nudge her into walking along the beach again. “I’m sure it
wasn’t easy to have the discussion this morning with your father, but I’m glad you did. He loves you, and I know you feel the same way. You two have just forgotten how to express that to each other.”

“I know he told you what happened in our family—his side of it, anyway.”

“Actually, he was pretty harsh on himself when he told me. It’s been eating him up inside for years. You, too.”

“I guess I didn’t realize how much until recently,” Tessa admitted. “It’s been such a part of my life, I didn’t see how it was affecting my relationships with others. Like Lana. And probably other men in my life, to be honest.”

“You’re always honest, Swiss.”

“So is it wrong of me to say that I thought less of my father for falling in love with Lana less than a month after my mother drowned? I mean, he was supposed to love Mom forever, right? I felt betrayed, and I’m sure she would have, too. That’s not something you forget, no matter how much time has passed or how sincere the apology.”

Luke had known that Tessa had issues revolving around trust and commitment. He just hadn’t realized how deeply rooted the pain was in her whole family dynamic. To be honest, with his happy childhood and loving parents, he was out of his league.

So he tried with Tessa what had always been an important aspect of his family relations—unconditional support and acceptance.

“If that’s the way you feel, it’s not wrong, baby. You just need to figure out a way to get past that and salvage the relationship with your father and the rest of your family—because they’re the only one you’ve got. Try putting yourself in his position. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my wife and be left alone to deal with my young child. Some men would react better than others. Some people out there always need to have a partner in their lives—it’s just the way they are. Maybe your father is one of them.”

“It wasn’t just the way he got over my mom. It’s like he walked away from his entire life, me included. I needed him so badly, and he wasn’t there—he never was.” Tessa broke off and looked at the water again. “I was about thirteen years old when I realized I was on my own. I swore to myself I would never need anyone again, and I haven’t. How sad is that?”

“What about Kevin?” Luke asked. She smiled, a faint and sweet curve of her lips that made his insides flutter.

“He was so young and needy himself. He kind of snuck into my heart,” Tessa said.

Good going, Kev. I think there’s a lesson there
.

Luke was silent for a moment. He thought about bringing up Ed and how Tessa had relied on him as a friend, but knew she wasn’t talking about that kind of need. She was talking about not letting herself need a man to be happy or make her life complete.

The more time Luke spent with her, the more he wanted to be that man. The only problem was letting her know in a way that didn’t scare her off forever.

“Besides,” Tessa continued, “Kevin would never abandon me, no matter what. Other people in my life have not proven to be so steadfast.”

“I realize you don’t know me well enough to believe this, but I will never disappear from your life. I want you to trust me; I just wish I knew how to prove it.”

“I wasn’t talking about you,” she said in a low voice, but she continued to walk down the beach and wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“Stop for a second.” Luke turned her to face him. He was about to tell her that he wanted to be a part of her life, long-term, when he saw the absolute panic in her eyes. He realized that a confession like that could end up pushing her away from him with very little effort. He would have to take it slowly.

“It’s okay, Luke—” Tessa interrupted.

“No, listen.” He spoke firmly, choosing his words carefully.
“You have to know that I care about you very much, and respect you as both a prosecutor and a woman. I would do anything to keep you from getting hurt. And like Kevin, I would never abandon you. For once in your life, you don’t have to go it alone. I’m in this with you until it’s done, all right? We’re partners.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. For a second, she’d thought he was going to talk about what was going on between them outside of the case.

Since going to bed with him, Tessa had been unable to categorize or even define their relationship in her own mind, because too many things were going on. She’d been afraid that he was going to be like the other men she’d known and start pushing her in an effort to formalize things so he could feel better or more secure—or whatever motivated her previous boyfriends to try to tie her down. But Luke seemed to be content to leave things as they were, which was fine with her.

Really.

The fact that she felt like a complete coward for avoiding a discussion of the issue was just something else she’d have to deal with.

When she focused on him again, he was waiting calmly for a response from her. “I believe you, Luke. But I’ve never had a partner on a case before, so you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t know quite how to act.” Tessa hesitated, wondering if Luke would realize that the statement applied as much to her personal life as to the case.

He smiled, almost sadly, and kept his arm around her as they began walking back toward his house. “Neither haveI. But don’t worry, baby—I’m a patient man. We can learn together.”

For some reason, it sounded almost like a warning to Tessa.

After a long walk on the beach, Tessa and Luke returned to his house for a late breakfast. Wanting to do something for
Luke after the way he’d taken care of her since the day before, Tessa was frustrated by the constant restrictions of the cast on her left wrist. She’d had to settle for talking Luke through the preparation of her famous blueberry pancakes, Kevin’s favorite special breakfast.

Once they’d eaten, Luke had done the dishes without complaint, then gone outside to get the oversized Sunday edition of the paper from the driveway. He turned on some music, then pulled Tessa down onto the cushions on the living room floor, where they’d amicably argued over who got to read which sections of the paper first. Tessa scored the comic section and graciously turned the main news pages over to Luke.

Which was fine with him, because he wanted to make sure there were no upsetting articles about Ed’s death for Tessa to stumble over and read.

He flipped through his section and kept one eye on her as she lay on her back, holding the folded comics high above her with her good arm as she read. Flipping quickly through his own section, Luke came across a piece buried in the middle of the paper. The article announced that a local city councilman from Los Angeles had formed an exploratory committee to research the possibility of a run for governor of California.

What caught Luke’s eye was the picture of Sledge Aiken and several of his teammates at the councilman’s kickoff cocktail party and fund-raiser. They were presenting the councilman with a team jersey and signed football.

“What?” Tessa asked, looking over at Luke as he flipped onto on his stomach to read the article in depth.

“It looks like Sledge has friends in high places with respect to state politics,” Luke remarked, sliding the article closer so Tessa could read once she rolled over and came to rest against his side.

“We guessed he did, just from the way his lawyer was able to stifle almost every aspect of the initial rape investigation.”

“It seems to me that two things are remarkable about Sledge’s presence at this fund-raiser,” Luke mused.

“And they are…?”

“First of all, it’s obvious no news of the investigation into rape charges against him has made it to the media. Otherwise, the councilman would have dropped Sledge like a sack of shit.”

“Probably,” Tessa agreed. “The judge said he expected us to guard the name of the accused as zealously as we guarded the name of the alleged victim. And we haven’t been doing any investigating of Sledge at all. Our files have effectively been sealed, no warrants were issued, and no official charges were ever pressed, so I’m not surprised that word hasn’t gotten out yet.”

“Give it some time, the media will figure out that something is going on. But the second thing that interests me is this—what is the councilman doing shilling for money with a pro athlete we know has Mafia connections?” Luke asked.

Tessa was silent as she considered the possibilities.

“Exactly,” Luke said. “It’s enough to make me wonder what the
hell
is going on in local politics.”

“Maybe the councilman doesn’t know what we know,” Tessa pointed out.

Luke slanted her a cynical look.

“Okay,” she laughed. “Maybe that’s exactly why he’s hanging out with Sledge in the first place.”

“That’s more like it. Definitely something we’ll need to follow up on with the FBI.”

“What is this politician’s claim to fame?” Tessa asked. “You know, his pet projects and stuff.”

Luke scanned the article, stopping when he got to the second to last paragraph. “It seems our councilman favors growth initiatives that increase municipal tax revenues. It says here that he’s focused on changing real estate zoning laws and selling off tracts of city land in order to make the existing municipal resources work harder for the taxpayers.”

“City land?” Tessa asked. “You don’t suppose that’s tied into Ricky Hedges’s real estate development business, do you?”

“I have no idea. But that’s something else we’ll have to talk about with Chantal Francoeur. Tomorrow,” he added, folding up the news section and setting it aside. “For the rest of today, I think you should rest.”

Tessa started to get up, but Luke held her back with a gentle hand on her back. “Where are you going?”

“To get my notebook. I want to write this down so I won’t forget. Then I can relax for a while.”

Luke laughed. “You don’t need to write it down. I’m not taking painkillers, so I can promise you I won’t forget.”

She relaxed under his hand, which began a gentle stroking and kneading motion on her lower back. “I haven’t taken one since this morning. That’s actually the worst time, along with late at night. Other than that, I feel pretty good.”

“I’m glad. I still want you to rest, though. How about a nap upstairs—I can open the sliding glass door and let the sea breeze in,” he said, soothing her with visions of dozing in the gentle winter sunlight, lulled by the sound of waves and seagulls.

Tessa closed her eyes for a moment. “I’m not all that eager to go to sleep, to be honest. My dreams have been scaring the crap out of me.”

“What if I slept with you?”

“That might help,” she said softly.

Without another word, she let him help her to her feet and they went upstairs. She changed into his soft, faded sheriff’s department T-shirt and joined him under the covers. After some initial squirming and adjusting of her position, she laid her head on his shoulder and drifted off to sleep.

Two hours later, Tessa jerked awake in an instant. At least it had felt jerky to her, probably because her dreams had been going somewhere she hadn’t wanted to explore. Luke hadn’t
noticed, apparently, as he stayed sprawled comfortably on his back, an arm flung over his pillow and the other curved around her.

As she watched, Luke’s eyelids opened, and he immediately focused on her. “Bad dream?”

She nodded solemnly. “But it’s okay. I kind of made myself wake up before it got too hairy.”

He used the arm locked around her to pull her closer to his warmth. “I wish I could make it all better. You’re taking this really well now, but I’m worried how things are going to hit you once the case is over.”

Her insides fluttered, responding to both his soothing touch and the concern in his hazel eyes.

“Just knowing you understand helps,” Tessa said. “And I’m not going to lie—I can’t deal with it all right now. I’m pushing everything to do with Ed to the back of my mind. But knowing that Ed lived a full life, and that somehow he’s together with Mary again…that more than anything is what’s helping me get through the day.”

That, and Luke. He’d done everything he could for her, including helping her shower and even eat for the last thirty-six hours. While at first she’d been too deeply in shock to do anything but accept what he offered, now she was beginning to feel very selfish. As if he were the only one giving in the relationship. The idea didn’t sit well with her at all.

“I’m glad you’ve found some comfort in that. I worry about you, Swiss. You’re very good at keeping the pain bottled up inside.”

Too good, sometimes, which made Luke wonder what would happen when that little compartmentalized cerebral storage area filled up.

Tessa smoothed her cheek against his shoulder, realizing the quiet affection he offered was completely new to her. Luke was certainly being honest, letting her know his feelings silently as he showered attention on her, as well telling her what was going on inside his head.

He cared about her.

Her half smile faltered for a moment. At least he was brave enough to admit it. If she were honest, she’d say that she cared for him as well. But as had happened her entire adult life, she choked when it came to expressing her emotions. She was sure this was partially because of her lousy experiences with trusting men. But in this case it was also because she was flat-out terrified to examine her feelings for Luke and see if they went deeper than what she’d already admitted to herself.