No One But You (7 page)

“They’re in Philly.”

Sara blew out an exasperated sigh. “It’s too late, but I will buy you a train ticket in the morning.”

“I can’t stay in your house.”

“Where are you going to go at this time of the night?”

“I’ve got friends.”

Sara wondered why she didn’t go to them. She would have had a far warmer welcome.

“Most of them are mad at me.”

Good. At least, her girlfriends had some sense.

“The couch can be pulled out into a bed. You and Sonia will be comfortable.”

On cue, Jackson stepped out. “I’ll get out of your hair.” He had his overnight bag slung over his shoulder.

“Don’t you leave.” Sara followed him.

Jackson put his hand on the doorknob and grinned. “There’s only one bed,” he whispered as he leaned toward her.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sara replied.

He looked over at the new guests. “I’m Jackson.”

“Martha Lewis.” Martha looked curiously at them.

“Martha and Sonia are staying on the sofa bed. I’ll need your help with readying the bed.” She glared at Jackson, fighting the urge to wipe the silly grin from his face.

“What you’re doing is very kind, Sarafina.”

Sara didn’t know whether he was pulling her leg, or if he was really impressed that she’d managed to be civil throughout this ordeal. They got busy fixing the bed with extra pillows to keep the baby in place.

“May I use the bathroom?” Martha asked.

“Sure. I have a couple large T-shirts and sweatpants you can use to sleep in.”

“Thanks.” Martha disappeared into the bathroom, gratefully holding onto the clothes.

Sara volunteered to keep watch over the baby. For the first time, she actually looked at the child. She couldn’t trust her feelings when she held Sonia in her arms. Whenever she looked down at the child, her anger was tempered. The innocence of this baby girl wound its way into her heart. This child was an involuntary player in this ugly episode.

“I’m proud of you,” Jackson whispered in her ear. He stood behind her with his hand casually on her waist.

Sara pulled her hand away from the baby as if she had been caught in an embarrassing act. The child stirred, but then sank into sleepy oblivion. “She looks like him.”

Jackson pulled her against him and rested his chin on her shoulder. “You’ve got to let it go.”

He had no idea how close she was to letting go and letting him in. But this current state of events reminded her of what surrendering to any man could do. She had been made a fool of in two major relationships. Although she played by the book, apparently no one else with whom she’d been involved had the same rules.

Martha emerged from the bathroom. Sara stepped away from Jackson, her face a little warm at being caught.

“This means that I get to shack up with you for another evening.” Jackson’s voice tickled her ear with a warm breath.

“Good night, Martha.” Sara ignored Jackson while she turned off the main lights and went into the kitchen to turn on that light as a night-light. “Let me know if you need anything, Martha.”

“God bless you.”

Sara shrugged. Her anger was turning to pity.

Jackson closed the bedroom door when they entered.

Suddenly she felt drained. Her emotions strained at her like contracted muscles. She struggled with the buttons on her shirt, but her fingers felt thick and unwieldy. “Darn it.” She dropped her hands to her side, weary and irritable. Hot tears crested on the edges of her lids. Her lips trembled. A swell of emotion grew heavy in her chest. She looked around blindly through the thick veil of tears for someplace to escape.

“Baby, are you okay?” Jackson straightened up from taking off his pants.

Sara rubbed her forehead. She wanted to run. Run out of the room, out of the apartment. She wanted to breathe in fresh air away from everyone. Too many memories collided. Too many emotions warred.

Jackson, who she thought she’d hated, now stood with his arms outstretched. All she had to do was hold onto those strong hands that knew her so intimately. She was tempted to have his arms wrap around her body in a fierce embrace and melt under his strength.

That would be so easy.

And that would be so weak.

Jackson dropped his hands to his sides when she did not react.

Sara went into the bathroom and undressed. For a second time, she would be sharing her bed with Jackson. Methodically she applied her facial cleaner, working it against her skin. She felt like the bad guy with Martha and her baby. She felt like an unfeeling, insensitive boob with Jackson. After washing off the cleanser and patting her face dry, she inspected her skin for any signs of a wayward pimple before applying an astringent. The vapor stung her eyes and she blinked rapidly. She had a right to be furious and angry and to feel put upon. Skipping the moisturizing stage, she swung open the bathroom door.

Jackson was in his usual position under the covers, remote in hand, with the other hand propped behind his head. “Hey, join me.” He flipped back the cover for her.

Sara slid under the cover, but didn’t snuggle against Jackson’s body, as he further invited. Instead she slid a pillow into place between them.

“Thought we were buds now that we’ve shared a bed or two,” he said and grinned.

“You know what bothers me?” She paused, but not really for him to answer. “You’ve come bouncing back into my life with all intentions for a do-over. But did you lose any sleep over what you did to me?”

Jackson had the grace to look startled by her comments. He turned to her. “What I did to you still bothers me. I tried to do what I thought was best for you and my family.”

“So I put you in a difficult position because I wasn’t from good stock? Well, my stock hasn’t improved since you left,” she said.

“We were young.”

Sara only stared. She wanted a guarantee. But what could he possibly do to grant her that wish?

“Do you love Blake?”

“I can honestly say that I never loved Blake. What he did to me was not only treacherous, but more of a blow to my ego.” She turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling. “What you did to me was like ripping out a part of my heart. Repairs are in progress, but it’s not healed. And yes, we were young, so I gave unconditionally and expected the same. I feel like an injured soldier after a dirty battle and I won’t make that mistake twice.” She closed her eyes to hold back tears. She shook her head to reaffirm her position on the matter.

“I’m not perfect, Sarafina. I thought I could have both worlds. I thought…Darn it, I don’t know what I thought. I screwed up.” He gently turned her face to his.

Sara opened her eyes and stared into the stormy darkness of his. “Good night,” she whispered before turning her back to him. She hugged her pillow tightly to keep from turning to him and hugging him tightly.

After four hours of tossing and turning, Sara decided to get out of the bed. She felt lousy and would have to upgrade her small cup of coffee to a large mug. Jackson’s soft buzzing snore filled the room. She strained to hear if Martha and the baby had roused.

Hearing nothing, she left the room to investigate. The sofa bed had been slept in, but there was no sign of them. Instead, there was a handwritten note in the middle of the bed. On closer inspection, Sara noticed that the paper was a receipt from a children’s toy store. On the back was a message addressed to her:

 

Sarafina,

I took your advice and called my parents. They will buy a ticket and I have to pick it up at the station. I took a taxi. I’m sorry for hurting you.

Martha

 

Sara couldn’t deny that she felt relief that Martha had gone. She did hope that the young girl and baby got safely on their way. Her wounds were simply too fresh to deal with Martha.

She looked back at the bedroom. Again, she didn’t want to deal. Quietly she got dressed. This time
she
left a note and slipped out the door to escape into the world of American Women’s Literature.

J
ackson didn’t stir until the sun penetrated the sheer curtains. He opened his eyes, shielding it from the light. For a moment, his surroundings confused him. He looked around the room, first at the familiar pajama set draped over the back of a chair, then at the wide array of perfumes and colognes on the vanity. A lingering floral scent was still in the air. Contentment settled over him as he lay back in the bed, enjoying his stroke of luck.

He sniffed the air, hoping to smell the aroma of a fabulous breakfast. When his taste buds didn’t respond, he called out. “Sara!” He yawned and stretched. “Sarafina, where’s breakfast?” He smiled, waiting for her tart response, but only silence greeted him.

Jackson slid out of the bed, fully stretching his body. He knocked on the bathroom door before entering. The apartment was too quiet. At least the baby should be stirring, unless something happened. A little alarmed, he hurried out of the bedroom.

He looked down at the empty sofa bed, then stepped into the empty kitchen. No one was in sight. The apartment wasn’t so expansive that he shouldn’t catch sight of anyone. A long beep of some appliance caught his attention. He followed the sound to find the coffeemaker had brewed a pot.

Figuring that Sara had provided this kind act before disappearing into thin air, he helped himself. With his unsweetened black coffee, he went back to the bedroom to check his cell phone. Maybe she’d left a message. He really hoped that there hadn’t been a medical emergency.

He unsnapped his cell phone off his waistband and flipped it open. There were no messages or missed calls. Now he scanned the room for clues. As his glance brushed over the bed, he saw the notepaper on Sara’s pillow. He stretched over and retrieved the note.

 

J

I had to get to work. Martha and Sonia have left. Thank you for staying last night. I know you’ll be busy in these last few days before you leave. Things on my side are swamped, too. I don’t want you to feel that you have to worry about me.

I’m a big girl.

S

 

Jackson shook his head. He didn’t need a translation of the message to sense Sara brushing him off. The sudden appearance of Martha had spooked her, just when he thought they had made a breakthrough. Like his father, he wasn’t great with words and baring his inner thoughts.

What to do now? One thing was certain. Only two more days remained of his extended visit. He had his meeting today at noon that he’d instigated as his main reason for staying in Chicago. But after that, he would be returning to Ohio. If he didn’t make any advance in Sara’s confidence, he was certain that she’d not maintain any type of relationship with him.

He popped open his cell phone. “Denise, sorry to call you at work. Need your help.”

Sara struggled to keep her mind on the class presentations. Each group of three students took turns presenting their latest assignment. The current group defended its stance that the women’s liberation movement was influenced by literature from the earliest works by female authors.

This group could consider itself lucky that her mind was elsewhere. She’d been known to make groups vigorously defend their positions with well-researched evidence. Instead, she was holding mental pro-and-con arguments for resuming her relationship with Jackson.

The class applauded for their fellow students, bringing her attention back to the present. She thanked the group and then looked at the clock positioned over the door. Thank goodness class was over.

“Hey, soror, ready for the meeting?” Denise stood in the doorway dressed in a black skirt and red blouse, the sorority colors.

Sara wore a solid red dress, with hose and pumps. Sara rarely endured the agony of pantyhose and heels, but this was a special occasion. She followed Denise out of the building. The undergraduate chapter met on campus. However, the graduate chapter met in the meeting rooms of a local hotel.

“Is everyone coming?” Sara asked, referring to their line sisters. The chapter had over two hundred members, but only a fifth of that number regularly attended meetings.

She’d made a pact with her line sisters that they would continue to participate in the sorority after graduating from university. Building the sisterhood was vital to surviving on a big campus. Strengthening the networking system with sorority members and fellow Greeks could make all the difference in corporate America.

“Everyone except Athena will be there. She’s got a late class. But if she can get someone to record the lecture for her, she’ll be there.”

“Sounds good.”

“You look tired,” Denise remarked.

“I’m beyond beat. I had a rough night last night. By midmorning, I was dragging.”

“I heard.”

“You did? Who?” Sara’s mind flew to Martha. Then she thought for a second. “Jackson? Does he tell you everything? What the—”

“Calm down, girl. I called your place this morning, but you had left already.” Denise bumped her with her elbow. “And I was quite surprised to hear his voice.”

“Don’t start. Ain’t a darn thing going on.” Sara unlocked her car. “I’ll see you at the hotel in fifteen minutes.”

“We aren’t finished talking. And you’d better fill me in before I give my version of things to our line sisters,” Denise said.

Sara started her car. She shifted the gear and eased out in front of Denise’s car. “Here’s something for you. Jackson is leaving in a few days. And I will still be here. You and the rest of the gang went to a lot of trouble for nothing,” Sara said as she pulled off before Denise could reply.

Putting it out there that Jackson would be gone in a matter of days was for her own benefit. She had to tell herself that he would return to his life. Then, her life could return to normal.

Sara arrived to the meeting with several other sorors. She greeted them with the secret handshake and accompanying three pats on the right side of their backs. Since she didn’t hold an officer position, she opted for the back of the room. She hoped the meeting wouldn’t last more than ninety minutes.

With the craziness that she’d dealt with in the last few days—well, ever since Jackson appeared—she felt as if she’d been strapped to a roller coaster and taken for a wild ride. Being alone had become a habit. She now craved that comfort zone.

“Sorors, we’ll begin the meeting.” The president banged her gavel and stood.

The entire room of sorority sisters followed suit and stood. Discussions ceased. Everyone stood still, respectfully.

“Let’s begin with the pledge.” The president clasped her hands, with fingers intertwined before turning toward the east. She led off with the first line of the pledge and then the others turned to the East and recited the pledge.

Sara spoke the words that she learned during her days as a pledge. Their collective voices uttered the sixteen lines about their devotion to the sorority, its founders, principles and sorors. When they finished, they turned to face the president and waited for her to hit the gavel once, signaling them to take their seats.

The meeting started with the previous meeting’s minutes, then the financial information. None of these items drew much discussion. Thankfully she could cross out the agenda items quickly.

“Soror Watkins, would you present your suggestion for Founders’ Day.”

“Thank you, Madame President.” Soror Watkins walked up to the front of the room to address everyone. “Founders’ Day this year falls on Wednesday. I’d like to suggest that we host a light dinner affair rather than a weekend activity. It would be less labor-intensive and cheaper.”

Sara didn’t have a preference. Founders’ Day was one activity for which she always volunteered. The others laughed at her sentimentality, but she loved this sorority. The five founders had made history on their campuses by starting an African-American sorority on the campus of a small Midwestern university.

“We need volunteers.” Soror Watkins looked around the room. Not too many hands shot up.

With the function being a part of the traditional programs, there was a template for the event with small variations each year. Not having too many volunteers was probably a blessing.

Sara wrote a note on her writing pad to follow up with Soror Watkins. An idea had popped into her mind. Since the international president was from a local chapter, maybe they could have a special presentation from their undergraduate chapters. She’d have to mull it over before presenting it to Soror Watkins.

Sara spotted a couple of her line sisters who had slipped in after the meeting started. Lucky for them, the sergeant at arms was absent. Otherwise, that soror, known for her adherence to the laws, would have barred them from entering the meeting after the pledge was recited.

Her line sisters had missed many meetings due to their late arrival one too many times. Sara had only been barred once since moving to the area. She wondered if other chapters were as strict.

Craning her neck, she spotted the twins, Asia and Athena. Then a couple rows behind them, she saw Naomi. Whoever sat behind her had to adjust her seat to see around her tall frame. With a quick glance around the room, she noted that Denise hadn’t arrived. Maybe she figured that she wasn’t going to make it and wouldn’t get in on time.

Speak her name and she appeared. The door opened a little and her familiar head popped in the doorway. Denise did a quick finger wave at her. Sara responded, beckoning her to come in. Soror Watkins had finished up her presentation. The next person wasn’t ready so it would take a few additional minutes to begin the next agenda item. Sara motioned to her more vigorously.

Denise could be so frustrating at times. Now she beckoned for her to come out of the room. What could Denise want? They had just talked.

She was about to shift her focus to the remainder of the meeting when out of the corner of her eye, a man popped into view.

Sara did a double take. Her mind couldn’t be so focused on Jackson to conjure him in the doorway. For heaven’s sake, she wasn’t a teen with a schoolgirl crush. But if she wasn’t mistaken, that was Jackson signaling for her to come and Denise’s head popping over his shoulder making comical faces.

“Soror Lovell, is there a problem?” the president asked.

All heads turned toward Sara. Embarrassed at the attention, she indicated that there was no problem. She pushed back her chair quietly and eased out of the seat. Why had she sat at the far end of the room?

The president had little patience for cell phone or sidebar chatter during chapter meetings. She’d even gone so far as to have the sergeant at arms levy a penalty for repeat offenders.

Thankfully she made it to the door and slipped out, making sure to close it behind her. “What do you think both of you are doing?”

“I don’t know what he’s doing?” Denise motioned at Jackson with her thumb. “I wanted you to come out and deal with him before he got called out by the sorors. And now that you’re here, I’m heading into the meeting.”

“What? No.” Sara grabbed Denise’s arm. “You’re not leaving me here.”

“Am I so frightening?” Jackson provided her with the toothiest grin.

“Denise, this wasn’t the time. Not here.” Sara shook her head. “Jackson, I can’t take this anymore. I think we’ve had all the meetings that we need to have between us.”

“Look, sweetie, don’t be afraid of him.” Denise patted her on the cheek, opened the door and slipped inside.

“I’m going to kick her—”

“Shh…” Jackson grabbed her by the arm, halting her momentum. He spun her toward him, allowing her body to crash against his.

She opened her mouth to protest.

Instead of words escaping, she only managed a surprised blink before his mouth settled on hers. Electric shock zigzagged its way from the source, his lips ravaging hers.

She clutched his shirt in her hands. If he’d only stayed away. If he’d only gone back to Ohio.

Now she was no longer safe. Contact with his body made her melt. Without breaking contact with his body, she slid her hands along his chest, up to his shoulders. His muscles rippled under her hands as he wound his arms around her body.

No kiss had ever tasted so sweet. His tongue made its acquaintance, reminding her of what she had turned away from so long ago.

Her body powered up like a battery, full of power and energy. Her breasts ached for his attention. She pulled him tighter, hoping that his contact would quench her body’s hunger. Their tongues intertwined with their unique rhythm.

“Pssst!”

Sara closed her eyes tightly at the intruding noise. In Jackson’s arms, she only wanted to concentrate on him. While his lips remained on hers, there was no room for anything else.

“Pssst, Sara. Everyone is waiting.”

Sara’s eyes opened, before her lips detached their hold from Jackson’s. Her senses didn’t settle into place. Intoxication didn’t only come from alcohol. Her legs felt rubbery. She kept her hands on his chest for support until reality staked its place.

Jackson’s smoky eyes still had their hypnotic hold. She could easily ignore Denise’s irritating hissing in her ears.

“Could you two take a breather. The sorors are waiting for you to join the circle. It’s time for the hymn.”

“Why can’t they go on without me?” Sara kissed Jackson’s chin.

“Soror Lovell! Do you think that you can extricate yourself from this young man long enough to join us in our closing tradition.” Soror Watkins stood in the hallway with her hand on her hip.

Sara giggled. The comical side to being caught in the hallway like a schoolgirl grew funnier. Her giggling continued unchecked.

Jackson had his gaze fastened over her head. Unlike her, he remained serious.

“Sorry,” she managed to say behind her hand.

“I’ll wait here.” Jackson pushed her toward the door.

Sara followed Soror Watkins, with Denise bringing up the rear. The threesome entered the room to many snickers. Quite a few sorors strained to see who had occupied her attention for the last few minutes.