Authors: Anita Cox
“Are you going to start talking or am I supposed to make small talk until you get the courage to ask what you want to ask?” Wendy snickered as she looped her arm through Nala’s. “I know it wasn’t a leisurely stroll you wanted, though I do appreciate it.”
Had she been that transparent? “Well, uh,” she cleared her throat as she searched for the right words. The trees covered the path like a lush green canopy. The forest was so full of life, so full of energy. It gave her the burst she needed to let her guard do. “It’s not all subterfuge. I do want to know you more intimately now that I’m so connected to your brother, but I do have questions and…I don’t know where to turn. My mother has been gone since I was young. My life before coming to Belfast, was all about survival. Now that I’m thinking about family, I’m a little lost.”
That wasn’t so hard.
Wendy gripped her arm a little tighter and patted her forearm with her free hand. “Anything worth having comes with risk. We risk ourselves when we fall in love. We risk loss. Becoming a mother means you might lose your child. Some children don’t even survive birth. It’s just a fact of life. None of us have any guarantees, sweetheart.”
She chewed her lip as she contemplated Wendy’s words. “How do you cope with it? How do you cope with your relationship and your pregnancy making you a target?”
Wendy snickered. “Lots of sex.”
“Wendy!”
Continuing to laugh, she rolled her eyes. “Honestly. I am one hundred percent in love. After years of wishing for it, then accepting I’d probably always be alone, love finally happened. If I have to fight to the death to keep it—then so be it.”
Her heart dropped into her stomach. “But…Colin has already lost a mate and a child. I don’t want to put him through that loss again. It could destroy him.” Her bottom lip quivered at the thought. “I can’t do that to him. Not again.”
Wendy stopped in her tracks and pulled hard on Nala’s arm, spinning her around. She put her finger in Nala’s face.
Nala felt her eyes widen, shocked at the authoritative stance of a woman who was usually so sweet and tender.
“Listen here, Nala Baker! You have one life to live. Just one! You’re now bonded to my brother. He is in love with you and you clearly are in love with him or you wouldn’t give two shits about his well-being. But that means you cannot rob him of his chance at fatherhood. You married. You mated. You bonded. It is done. Whatever fate has in store is out of your hands. You can’t control everything. At some point, you have to let go. It was a freak accident that took his first wife and child. A freak accident! No one was out to kill her. There was no malice. It was just her time—as excruciating a thought as that may be.”
Wendy’s face was red and moisture glistened in her eye. “It was horrible. I’m not going to lie. But if you get pregnant, Jake can handle a challenge. He’s good Lycan stock—quick on his feet—stronger than most. If you get pregnant, you allow him to step in. That’s how this works.” She put her palm on her forehead and stepped back. “I’m sorry, that was entirely too emotional. It must be the hormones. But I’m serious.” She stepped in, forcefully wrapping her arms around Nala. “You must understand that this is
his
choice too. Don’t take that from him.”
Her shoulders relaxed as she wrapped her arms around Wendy, hugging her back. “Thank you.”
“It must be exhausting worrying about everyone and everything all of the time. I have other royalty here, and those that I am so familiar with. But you’re not alone. My brother’s blood now runs through your veins. That means you are my sister. Nothing can take that away—not even death.”
Death was the devil dancing in the corner.
Chapter Eight
Back home in Belfast, Nala stood in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. Wendy had given her a lot to think about. Had she spent so much time trying to protect her mate from loss that she was robbing him of life?
“Yes,” she heard Colin’s soft voice behind her. “You’re protecting me to death.”
Staring at his reflection in the mirror, she noticed the smirk…Colin’s typical half smile with lines forming around his eyes. It churned her heart into a puddle of primordial soup.
“What’s wrong? Did you forget about our connection so quickly?” He stepped toward her.
She turned to face him, biting her lip. “Actually, I’m not really noticing it much. I thought it would be stronger than this.”
“It is. You’re coming through loud and clear. I’ve been sort of guarded so as not to overwhelm you. Keeping my mind distracted…you know, so you could focus.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, gently easing her toward him. “I’m wondering if my mate wouldn’t join me for a drink by the fire.”
Expecting a kiss, she was delighted when he pulled her in a tight embrace…into a hug she so didn’t know she so desperately needed. Her shoulders eased down as his warmth enveloped her.
“You’re not alone anymore, Nala. There are no burdens that are only yours. Please, allow me to be here for you. Allow yourself a moment to relax. You have a whole pack here,
and
a mate. We are here for you.
I
am here for you.”
Walls that had been firmly cemented in prior years started to crack as something stung her eyes. She felt her shoulders shudder and her chest heave as a light sob escaped her lips. “I’m sorry,” she whispered in his ear. “I don’t remember the last time I—” Her chest felt as if it had splayed open for the world to see.
“Do
not
apologize to me. If anyone understands…I do.” His voice was low, near a whisper, yet it cracked at the end, a hint of emotion spilling over. “I am honored to be your mate. You can cry on my shoulder any time. In this space, you are not an Alpha. In this space, you are my wife.”
I could stay here forever.
His strong arms, warm and loving, wrapped around her made her feel safe and secure.
“And you will.”
He pulled away from her to look her in the eye. “About that drink?”
Nodding, she grabbed a tissue to clear her eyes. “I really do love you, Colin.”
“And I love you, Nala. I hope by now you can feel it.” He stroked her hair and smiled.
After clearing the lump out of her throat, she splashed cold water on her face and blotted it dry with a towel. “Drinks it is.”
Once sitting together by the bonfire with wine in hand, he wrapped his arm around her waist. A few other Lycan couples sat around the fire conversing in their private twosomes. “So, my sister is going to birth a Centaur baby.”
“Does that bother you?” She studied his face, illuminated by the fire.
“It’s just weird. I mean…Wendy is true mother material and I want a family for her. I just can’t wrap my head around my sister’s status as a Centaur Queen. How in the heck could I?” After a big gulp of wine, he continued. “This is the same woman who flicks me in the ear.”
She held in a giggle as long as she could before letting it go. “Colin! She’s
a
Queen, not
your
Queen. It’s okay that to you Wendy is just your sister, and Zoltar your brother-in-law. It isn’t like you have to kiss a ring or anything.”
His words were near a whisper as his expression fell blank. “She’s having a baby.” His emotions were a confused mixture of elation, envy, and sadness. He wanted a child and should have already had one had nature not taken it away from him. Her heart ached at her mate’s turmoil.
“I’ve always wanted children,” she whispered in his ear.
“But?”
“But I’m completely terrified.” That was it. She’d finally come clean. “I will be challenged. I may die. If I happen to be with child, your brother would step in and he may die. It seems no matter what you are the one who suffers and I just can’t live with that.”
Pressing his lips against her temple, he inhaled her as he kissed the spot. “You don’t know my brother very well. Don’t assume that either you or he will lose. I guess I should have prepared you better, as my Alpha prepared me.”
She turned to face him. “What on earth are you talking about?”
“The history. I’m sure they didn’t teach you much of it in Scottsboro.” He sat a little straighter. “The thing about a challenge is…usually the righteous is the victor.”
Her shoulders slumped. “You’ve lost me.”
“Throughout our history, the only challengers who’ve won have been those with a real need, a real passion to win and virtue on their side. There are been too many instances of smaller, weaker Lycans winning a battle they should have lost. It’s almost as if the gods forbid anything less.”
She shook her head. “Then explain Jagger. He was as evil as Lycans come.”
“Ah yes, but that wasn’t a challenge. Your story was that he killed the previous Alpha in cold blood.” He crossed his arms over his chest and crossed his feet at the ankles. “Why the Alpha didn’t see it coming, I do not know, but that wasn’t an outright challenge.”
His words did little to soothe her concern. “Colin, I could just as easily fall victim to…”
“Is it possible that we have more faith in you than you have in yourself?” Tracy pushed her shoulder as she passed.
Nala bit her lip. “I worry. I worry all of the time about all of you, about me,” she tossed her thumb at Colin, “about him. I wouldn’t say it’s faith as much as concern.”
“Well you can stop worrying about me. I’m not a delicate flower.” He looked at her, lips tight to hide his smile. “And the rest…well, we will cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“There’s no way in hell Jake would lose a challenge, or that any of us would allow a challenge while you’re with child. So…can we revisit that issue soon?”
He wiggled his brows as he pushed his thoughts at her.
Thomas and his wife Wanda joined them by the fire. They were carrying two sticks with marshmallows and immediately began roasting them by the fire.
The smell wafted toward Nala. “Oh that smells wonderful.”
“We have more in the house if you’d like. I could go grab them.” Tracey offered. When Nala nodded, she shifted and ran toward the house, returning with the bag and a few sticks. Colin made quick work sharpening the ends with his pocket knife.
Thomas and Wanda took turns feeding the gooey treat to each other. Wanda giggled with every bite that dripped down her chin. The scene was so sweet it warmed the Alpha’s heart. The Gnomes generally didn’t show much affection in front of the Lycans. This was the first occurrence Nala had witnessed.
“Love is a beautiful thing to witness, is it not?”
With a large smile, she gave her mate an affirmative nod. After a few marshmallows, they turned in for the night.
They’d barely crossed the threshold to their room when he grabbed her, startling her with a kiss. His hands pulled on her ass hard, crushing her into him. Prior to bonding, this may have started her, but the man felt a strong need for her, to please her, and nothing else.
His hands moved around to the front of her shirt and pulled hard, tearing it in half. Her back met the wall as he pushed her with no more force than someone closes the refrigerator. She was putty in his hands.
She raked her fingers down his shoulders, giving him a physical sign of approval. It was all he needed as his fingers pulled her bra material below her breasts, freeing them. He took her right nipple in his mouth as he undid her jeans. Her eyes rolled back as his tongue flicked her erect nipple.
He slid down, licking his way to the waist of her pants before jerking them to the floor. Nibbling his way down her hip, he used his shoulders to part her legs, diving between them to taste her. When his tongue parted her folds, her legs began to quiver.
The warm wet sensation pulsing on her clit made every nerve stand on edge. A far cry from the tender, sweet, first time, this was carnal in nature. Her body responded, her hips rocking, synchronized with the caress of his tongue.
She fisted his hair in her hands, holding on as the pressure built. His right hand slid over her ass, thumb gliding over her slit picking up moisture and gliding it to her behind. She tensed for a moment as her orgasm came to the precipice. When his thumb, slick with her juices, glided over her ass again, she was stunned when it easily slipped inside.
The sensation was new, erotic…unexpected, and it sent her over the edge. Her legs gave out as a orgasmic wave took hold. He pressed up against her, holding her up with his shoulders. She heard the
chink
of his belt hit the floor and a second later, he glided inside.
“You’re so warm,” he cooed in her ear.
Still tense from orgasm, his cock caressing her inside kept her nerves on edge. She gasped for air as she clutched his shoulders.
“So wet.”
She had no words, only oxygen to try to capture as he drove into her. Why had she waited so long to experience this pleasure? She didn’t have the answer, nor did she care. His walls came down and she felt herself around him and screamed out as her orgasm peaked.
Her orgasm had an effect on him as he drove into her and bit down on her shoulder. “Ugh, Nala!” he wailed.
Lifting her, he carried her to the bed. Once she was eased onto its surface, he was once again inside her. She fought to block him, the sensations he was feeling, because one more orgasm might render her completely incapacitated.
She pushed him off of her. He rolled to his back, look of longing and hunger in his eyes. She wanted to do something different, but her experience was lacking. She began to mount him when she decided to turn around. Crouching over him, with her back to him, she reached down to cup his balls as she eased herself onto his cock.
She heard him gasp and smiled.
If he was feeling carnal, she was going to give him carnal. Getting to her knees, she moved her ass up and down his cock, giving him a show while pleasuring him. Thinking she hand the upper hand she continued to move up and down on his cock, the new angle giving her a new sense of pleasure.
The feeling of his fingers, intruding the space startled her for a minute. Slick with the remnants of her orgasm, she felt a thumb or finger swirling around her ass again. She quickened her pace to distract him, unsure she was quite ready for that sort of play.
When his digit slid inside, and another finger swirled around her already sensitive clit, she nearly lost her mind and couldn’t move. He did the work from below her, pushing in. She cried out in frustration and pleasure.
“Oh fuck!” he gasped.
Both hands slapped her ass cheeks then pulled her down on him hard as he came with his own orgasm.
He released her and she repositioned next to him. “Wow, what was that?”
After a gasp, a chuckle, and a moment to catch his breath he rolled to face her. “Our connection, I think. I just sort of knew you wanted to try a bit of anal play, but not too much. So I started off slow.”
She felt the heat of embarrassment licking her face. “Not that, I mean…it was so different.”
Gazing into her eyes, his brows furrowed briefly, then relaxed as he smiled. “I think that’s our connection too. Just. Feeling how concerned you’ve been with my outcome. I mean,” he paused for a moment, staring at the ceiling. Her heart thundered in her chest as she waited for him to speak. “Look, we had an arranged marriage. An actual business deal when you get down to it. Even in the midst of my tiptoeing around you because I knew what you came from, and your tiptoeing around me because I was in mourning and now dethroned—somehow, some way, we still managed to find mutual respect and concern for the well-being of our mate. That was before the bond. It’s just…”
“It became a lot more clear after the bond?” she finished for him. “That night, when we bonded, the emotion I felt from you was a little overwhelming. Then, it was a shock, to have someone put my needs first. To have someone care for me, in the manner of non-romantic love.” She squeezed her eyes shut tight then opened them. “I mean, the amount of admiration, respect, warmth you felt that had nothing to do with romance or mating. I felt all of that. It really changed how I look at you, how I think and feel.”
He began to snicker.
“What?” she asked.
“Maybe we should have bonded that first night. It would have saved us some trouble.”
She couldn’t help but agree with him, or at least his sense of humor. “Yes, but the way we did it…the way
you
did it. That was beautiful.”
Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her in tight, holding his lips to her forehead for a moment. In a low voice he whispered, “Like I said, you’re not alone anymore. I get you. I get it. I’m here.”
She felt the smile spread across her lips. “Same here. You’re not alone.”
“Let’s keep it that way.”