No Questions Asked (14 page)

‘Can I ask you a personal question, John?’ Connelly asked.

John read Connelly’s expression. He hadn’t seen him look so wistful before like he’d been contemplating the real issues that divided life from death.

‘Ask away’ said John with more confidence than he felt. He wasn’t sure what angle Connelly was coming at this one with. And Connelly always had an angle of some kind.

‘Do you regret not having had any kids?’

John sucked up the air before responding. ‘Yes is the short answer’.

‘Of course, I am assuming that just because you and your lady don’t have them that you don’t have any others kicking around that you sired when she wasn’t looking?’

John smiled. ‘No’ he said. ‘I don’t’. John and Antonia had got together when they were both very young and he’d never been with any other woman before or since. They were both very innocent at the start but they’d managed to work it all out since. Sex wasn’t something that was talked about amongst people with their background and it wasn’t talked about in the all white Rhodesian community where they’d both grown up outside of Bulawayo.

‘Do you reckon you’d have made a good father?’

John hunched his shoulders. ‘I’d have done my best. I guess its immaterial now’.

‘Do you reckon I’d make a good father, John?’

John really didn’t know how to answer that. On the face of it a gangster maybe wouldn’t be the kind who’d make a good father. But then again he’d seen how Connelly was intent on making whoever was responsible for Bradley’s murder pay. Maybe that primal need for a father to avenge the murder of his son is what makes a good father.

Connelly threw his head back and laughed. ‘You don’t have to answer my question, John. The look on your face says you don’t really want to and I don’t blame you. Who’d want a big old madman like me for the father of their child?’

Bernie had fallen in love with Lucy Thompson the first time he saw her. He remembered her standing there in the pub he used to go into over Denton way. He knew she was a bit of a girl with a certain reputation but it didn’t bother him. It’s not like he’d never met that sort before. But Lucy was special even though Bernie always knew at the time that Gary Mitchell was getting a piece of her too. It drove him insane with jealousy. It made him want to sort Mitchell out but something about Lucy made him want to back off from his usual way of dealing with any rival. He left Mitchell alone. He stood by whilst Lucy made it more than crystal clear that she’d choose Mitchell over him any day.

‘I don’t really know what to say to that, boss’ said John.

‘No, I get that a lot’ said Connelly. ‘It goes with the territory’.

‘But what I will say is that I genuinely admire the way you’re chasing revenge for the murder of your boy’ said John.

‘I know the police for what they’re worth which isn’t much have got the wrong man’ said Connelly who was going through his own form of grief over the murder of Bradley. He’d never been part of his life but he still wanted to rip the heart out of whoever murdered him. This really was personal. It was his chance to do something for his son. ‘And it takes a lot for me to say that when the man in question is Gary bloody Mitchell. There’s a part of me that would love to see him rot believe me. But he wasn’t responsible. It was one of those paedophile pieces of shit and I know that’.

‘I meant to ask that, boss?’

‘What?’

‘How are you so sure? The police say they’ve got a lot of evidence against Mitchell’.

‘But they’re wrong’ said Connelly. ‘I just know it. What other excuse for a human being would kill a child except for a nasty little scumbag like a paedophile? I’m going to get them, John. I’m going to get every last single one of the little bleeders’.     

At the end of a long and exhausting day Jeff allowed himself to be dragged down to the pub by Rebecca.

‘I can’t stay long’ he cautioned when they were standing at the bar. He ordered a pint of bitter for himself and Rebecca asked for a glass of dry white wine. ‘This is my round’.

‘No, don’t be silly, we’ll go Dutch’ said Rebecca who stood there wanting to burst into tears. This wasn’t how it should be. This was supposed to be a kind of date between two people who had eyes for each other but already he’d laid down a condition. She loved him. She loved him so much and yet it was like trying to hold running water in her hands. It was leaking everywhere and she felt like just letting go.

‘Rebecca, call me old fashioned but I want to buy you a drink’.

Rebecca smiled. ‘Okay. I’ll let you’.

They took their drinks to a small table by the window. It wasn’t exactly a great view. That was the trouble with these kind of modern pubs built on the edge of modern housing estates. All you could see were street signs, fencing that had been varnished almost all the way through, and in the near distance were driveways and neatly kept front gardens and satellite dishes. This was housing for those who’d come to raise kids. It was where they drove each morning to their pretty little jobs that fitted neatly into their pretty little lives and every day of every month had its own little routine. Rebecca would’ve traded places with any of the women who lived there happily unaware of how lucky they were to live with men who loved them. She knew it wasn’t as simple as that. She knew from her job that carefully painted doors could hide a multitude of tragic situations. She was just desperate for the chance to see if she and Jeff could turn out happy or tragic. She almost didn’t care which. She just wanted the chance to find out.

‘’How’s Toby doing?’ she asked.

‘He’s a lot better, thanks’ Jeff happily reported. ‘He should go back to school tomorrow’.

‘Oh well that’s progress’ said Rebecca. ‘Is he still coming to you in the night?’

‘Oh yeah’ said Jeff. ‘I think that’ll be for a while yet’.

‘And you don’t mind?’

‘Mind?  I just want him to feel safe and secure and loved. If that means coming into my bed until he gets over the trauma of finding the body of Bradley Thompson then so be it’.

‘Jeff, I didn’t mean … ‘

‘ … I know what you meant, Becky’ said Jeff. ‘I’m not saying it isn’t hard being a single Dad. But I do it willingly’.

Rebecca couldn’t think of anything to say to that. They’d been over it so many times it was becoming something of a chore to even think of going over it again. She wanted Jeff to dance with her. She wanted him to plant them a garden where their feelings would grow and sustain them all the way through. She wanted him to see that she had everything he needed if only he could let go of whatever it was that was stopping him from opening his eyes. Because his eyes weren’t open at least not to her. She’d been circling round the edge of his heart for so long and yet she was nowhere nearer. He said at the barbecue that he wanted to give them a chance. He said that he’d been holding back because letting go of the grief over Lillie Mae was both needed and yet terrifying at the same time. It would take someone very special and maybe she just wasn’t special enough.

‘Adrian and Joe seem to be settling in well?’ she said.

‘Yes’ Jeff agreed. ‘They’re both good officers and seem like decent blokes too. I’m lucky with those two, you, and Ollie. I reckon I’ve got a pretty good team’.

‘But what about when you go home at night, Jeff?’

‘I’ve got my son, Becky’.

‘But you need more than that, Jeff. Don’t you?’

‘You know I do’.

She looked into his eyes and she could see something but it wasn’t what she should be seeing. There wasn’t the passion or the feeling that she needed to go with romance. There was just a fading light far away that she could never get anywhere near.

‘But not from me?’

‘Becky, I don’t know, I just don’t know’.

‘I asked you not to mess with my head Jeff and you promised that you wouldn’t’.

‘It isn’t easy for me, Becky’.

‘I know it isn’t, Jeff’ said Rebecca who then picked up her handbag and stood up. She was thinking of a Stevie Nicks song where she sings that if he was her love she’d watch him when he was sleeping and he wouldn’t be frightened anymore. That’s what she wanted to be to Jeff. She wanted to be the love that took away his fear. But her own fear was telling her that she might not be able to get to that fear inside him and turn it around. ‘And I’ve been more than patient, Jeff’.

‘Becky, it’s the case. It’s getting in the way’.

She gently stroked his face. ‘That’s what you want to think, Jeff’

‘Becky, its true’ Jeff pleaded. ‘I’ve been distracted by this case especially now that I know Bernie Connelly is part of it somehow and you know my history with that bastard. Now we’ve got the death of Brett Collins to work into it all as well. I want something to work out between us, Becky’.

‘I don’t think it’s as much as I want though, Jeff’ said Becky who felt remarkably calm considering the emotions that were swirling around inside her. ‘Be honest with yourself’.

‘I am being honest with myself’ said Jeff. ‘Don’t give up on me, Becky. Not yet’.

Rebecca leaned down and kissed his forehead. ‘I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Jeff’.

Fiona Braithwaite was coming under intense pressure from her lover Debbie Mitchell to leave her husband Stuart. Debbie wanted them to ride off into the sunset like some lesbian Thelma and Louise and enjoy everything that a normal relationship between two adults could offer. But before that could happen there would need to be an earthquake in Fiona’s life and she wasn’t sure where the pieces would fall once it had blown.  She wasn’t like Debbie. She didn’t hate her husband Stuart like Debbie hated Gary. She was dreading having to break the news to him. As far as she knew he’d never been unfaithful to her. He’d been a doting husband who’d never given her any cause for concern. The news that she was going to leave him was going to crush him. What had he ever done to deserve it? What had he ever done except be the best husband he could be?

She stood in the kitchen with her backside leaning against the sink. It was getting towards the time when she should think about preparing dinner but her heart really wasn’t in it. She still loved Stuart but it was so different to the all consuming waves of emotion she felt about Debbie. Every time she closed her eyes she could see every last centimeter of Debbie’s body and the elation that came from their love making. If she didn’t do something she was going to go mad and Debbie was right when she said she’d made a lot of sacrifices so they could be together. It was Fiona’s turn now to meet her halfway.

Stuart had been working from home all afternoon in his upstairs office. When you’re the boss of a sales company you could do things like that if the fancy took you. Life would go for him, she thought. In time he’d probably meet someone else and be happy again. That’s what Fiona would wish for him. She wouldn’t want him to be unhappy. She wanted him to move on with his life although it was easy for her to say when she was doing the dumping.

She went upstairs and stood for a moment outside his office door. She’d just have to spill it all out in one go. All about her affair with Debbie and how she hadn’t meant for it to happen but it just did and now it was all she could think about and all she wanted to do. She wanted him to understand beyond any doubt that the fact she was leaving him for a woman had nothing to do with him being a man. She wasn’t leaving him because he was a man in the same way as she wasn’t going off with Debbie because she was a woman. She’d fallen in love and found her true self and it was absolutely no reflection on his masculinity. She took a deep breath and opened the door quicker than she normally would have.

She wasn’t prepared for what she found.

Stuart was sitting at his desk in front of his computer. The zip on his trousers was down and he had his erect cock firmly in his hand. The shock of her entering the room made him ejaculate. Then she saw the images on the computer screen and she screamed.

They were of young boys of about Bradley Thompson’s age and there was Bradley himself right in the middle of the collage. 

NINE

Annabel came downstairs after reading her nephew Toby a bedtime story and settling him down for the night. Or at least until he wandered into his Daddy’s bed.  Jeff was sitting in the living room staring at the TV.

‘Toby is fast asleep now’ said Annabel.

‘Thanks, Annabel’ said Jeff. ‘He’s really taken to you. It’s good for him to have a woman around the place instead of being in this boys club all the time’.

‘He’s a sweet kid’ said Annabel. ‘I don’t know how your Mum and Dad can stay away’.

‘Well there’s something I’ll never be able to figure out but you know, I know my Dad had an affair with your Mum and you ended up with a step-father who didn’t really care much about you. But my Dad, your Dad wasn’t much better I can tell you’.

‘Yes I’ve worked that out from what you and Lewis have been saying’.

‘We all missed out on the loving, caring Dad that everyone needs’ said Jeff who was well and truly in melancholy mood. ‘He gets on well with my other sister because she’s so much like him. But me and our Lewis have always been at odds with him over something or other. That’s why I’m determined never to put Toby down over anything. I want to bring him up to be confident to make his own choices but to know that I’m there whenever he needs me’.