No Remorse (3 page)

A couple weeks before turning sixteen years old, Amber stood face to face with her mother. Other than the scattering of white streaks running through her jet black hair Winona looked young enough to be Amber’s sister.

“I know, mom. Please, just tell me. I’m tired of the running and all the secrecy.” Amber released an exasperated breath rolling her eyes.

“Honey, we’ll always be running and have secrets. We must hide and keep moving. We don’t age as humans do. If we stay in one place too long, they notice and begin questioning our appearance. If humans find out what we are, they
will
hunt and kill us.”

Her mother spoke slowly, stressing her words. “Because we are werewolves, we have to keep moving. You have seen me shift, watched me hunt. Our life is tough, that won’t change. The only reason I am telling you this now is because you are close to changing yourself. If I’m right, you have less than a month.”

“When did you change?” Amber asked curiously.

“I was nearing my sixteenth year, like you are now,” when she spoke, her mouth was set in a harsh, grim line.

“You were sixteen when you had me, weren't you?” Amber asked with a slight frown.

Winona nodded. “Yes, a couple of weeks before my sixteenth birthday. My change is the reason I got pregnant.”

Amber stared at her mother with eyebrows wrinkled in question.

Winona drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She looked away from Amber, staring over her right shoulder at the far wall, but seeing nothing. “Honey, our pack has no respect for women. When I shifted, the pack sensed my change and it threw them into a mating frenzy. You ask if I have any brothers or sisters. Well, in a pack, we are all considered brothers and sisters. But, yes, I had three biological sisters.”

Amber settled on the second bed in the hotel room. Scooting over when Winona joined her, putting her arm around her daughter’s shoulders. When she continued, Amber could hear the sadness in her mother’s voice.

“Wolves learn faster and are stronger living in packs. Most packs have rules about leaving and force their members to stay. They prefer to know where their members are at all times, so they can supposedly protect them from outsiders.” Winona shook her head disgustedly.

“I had three younger sisters, twins who were four and one who was just a baby at eighteen months old. They were nowhere near the change and my mother didn’t expect me to shift for another couple weeks, when I was to turn sixteen. It happened so fast. Mother had gone into town to do some shopping and left me in charge. We were outside hanging clothes when my change happened out of nowhere. I fell to the ground and couldn’t move. I couldn’t protect them.” Winona whispered in a broken whisper.

Amber gasped at the thought, staring at her mother in horror. “Mom, you didn’t kill them did you?”

Winona shook her head and cleared her throat. “No, I didn’t kill my sisters, but it is my fault that they are dead.” She sniffed, wiped at the sudden tears that sprang to her eyes and continued. “I was in the back yard and the twins were bringing another basket of clothes.” She paused slightly as she remembered sadly, “I was so jealous that the baby loved them more than she did me. She would always follow them everywhere they went, that day too.” Winona hung her head in grief.

“When I shifted, it hurt and I screamed. The neighbor boy heard and came running. Male wolves change as early as thirteen years old, and normally no later than fifteen. Our genetics allow them to change early so they can fight and protect the pack,” Winona explained, not wanting to leave out any of the details. Amber sat anxiously watching and waiting for her to continue.

“When he saw me shifting, it triggered his
wolf to emerge
, too. He had only changed two months ahead of me, so he was not in control of himself, yet. The moon cycle is very strong with our bloodline and I was not prepared. My mother honestly thought I had another month. I didn't show any of the normal signs.” Winona pressed her lips together and stared down at her hand in her lap at the bitter memories.

“I have made sure you know what to expect and have drilled it into your head. You have your monthly cycle like humans do, but you will notice the subtle changes--the cravings, your skin crawling, and the urge to run.”

Amber nodded, “I remember, mom.” She insisted and couldn’t stop staring wide eyed at her mother.

Winona could tell that Amber had a thousand questions forming in her head. Instead of allowing her to ask, she held her hand up to stop the flow from spilling out. She continued.

“We lived in a small village in the mountains. There was no other pack but our own, so we were safe. Or so we thought. Honey, my change triggered his change, which was broadcast throughout the village. It threw all the young males into a mating frenzy and they came for me. When they did, my sisters got in the way. The males were out of control and they attacked us all.” Winona paused, debating if she should continue. Turning, she lifted her shirt and revealed the long thin scars that marred her back and sides.

Dropping her shirt back into place, Winona resumed. “My sisters were too young to handle the attacks and died. My mother came home and found us covered in blood, all our clothes ripped to shreds. I was holding my sisters lifeless bodies.”

“I thought we could heal ourselves. Why do you have so many scars?”

“The attack was brutal, my wolf was too weak and I was not strong enough to hold the wolf. As a human, I could not heal myself. The scars are a constant reminder that the smallest of mistakes can cost you everything. Amber, I do mean, everything!”

Amber was horrified. As a child, she had caught glimpses of her mother’s body and the scars that scored her skin. Her clothing hid most of them, except for the one scar that ran down the side of her neck, which continued down to her breast. Winona explained that she had somehow managed to keep her face covered and had prevented any scarring there.

Amber held her hand over her mouth, her eyes filled with tears at what her mother had endured. “Oh mom, that's horrible! What did your mother do?” Her throat was tight.

Winona settled back against the headboard again and resumed. “At first, she thought I had killed my sisters until she realized we had all been raped. My father was on the council and rushed home when he found out. Because of pack rules, nothing could be done. Mothers are responsible for raising the females, to know when it is their time to change. When it’s close, they are required to take the girl away and return after the shift has been made. They bring us back to the pack to be mated.”

“That’s just wrong,” Amber whispered in horror thinking of the vile treatment of women in the pack. She was ashamed for acting so childishly. If her mother could live through something like that at her age, then surely she could survive being on the move all the time. The thought of being forced to mate with whomever they chose for her made her shudder. She didn’t want to be a part of a pack if this is what she would have to face.

Winona pulled Amber close and continued. “My father blamed me for what happened so my mother took me to her friend’s house. Fortunately, I found out later that she was a witch. Her family had known our secrets for generations, so I was not worried about being there. They did what they could to help me”

“I actually liked living with them, but the pack found out I was pregnant. My father knew the council would be furious and they were. They informed him no child was to be born outside the safety of the pack. Three months before I was to give birth, they came for me. I remember that as vividly as I do the day I changed. It was during the week of the full moon,” she said with a haunted look in her eyes and repeated, “the pack came for me. They killed my mother’s friend and her family, feeding on them, sneering, they made me watch.” She gave a disgusted shudder.

“Why didn’t you change and try to help them or get away?” Amber asked stunned at how brutal her mother’s pack was.

“Always, Amber, always remember this: when a werewolf is with child, they cannot change. Even if I were able to change, there were too many of them and they were stronger than me. I could do nothing to help my friends, or get away. They killed the entire family, burning the house down to make it look like an accident.”

Her voice was low, barely above a whisper. “Fire consumes everything and leaves no evidence. There was nothing left of the family but ashes.”

Amber watched quietly, her mother was lost in that horrible memory. Winona gave her details, how she heard the screams of her friends, the growling and roaring of the pack attacking the helpless family. Tears spilled down her mother’s cheeks unchecked. Amber still had a ton of questions jumping through her mind, but gave her mother time to gather her emotions so she could finish.

“They forced me back to the village. When I got there, my mother was not there. I was later told that they had killed her for taking me away. The rules have to be obeyed, no matter the consequences.”

Amber watched as Winona took another deep calming breath and let it out slowly. She could tell that her mother was close to the change. It had been a while since she had seen her shift and was sure that the change was running through her veins, ready to be released. Amber watched her mother fight the feelings and after a moment she continued.

“Amber, honey, my father was forced to walk away when my mother was killed for breaking the rules. He loved her so much. Werewolves mate for life, there was no other for him. After that, he couldn’t stand the site of me; I looked just like my mother. I think deep down he knew it wasn’t my fault, but he couldn’t live with the fact that they had failed to plan and that he had lost his mate--his only love--and his three other daughters.”

“A wolf that is not mated and becomes pregnant is used by the males. I would have become the pack whore and my father wouldn’t allow our family to suffer through that humiliation. Before I was due to deliver my baby, you, he took me away, and we have been on the run ever since. Somehow, he convinced the council that I had delivered a still born due to changing during your delivery. They still hunt me, to bring me back to the pack. I have kept you hidden. Amber, you were born on a full moon, which is very rare.”

“And you have not seen your father since?” Amber asked.

“We’ve talked on the phone. If he were to see me, the pack would smell me on him and he would be killed.” Winona turned to her daughter. “It is very important that you know what is happening around you at all times and know once you have changed, another werewolf can smell you, even if you are in human form.”

“We are not the only pack are we?”

“No, there are others, all over the world. Your grandfather is part of the council that oversees all the packs in America. There is also the High Chamber Pack Council with representatives from all countries. Amber, to be safe, we must continue to avoid all werewolves. If anyone finds out that you are alive, I will be killed and so will my father and more than likely you will be too
.

CHAPTER FOUR

A
mber remembered her mother’s every word. Even though she had not yet shifted, Winona trained Amber in the ways of hunting, how to clean up after a kill, leaving no evidence of a werewolf being in the area. Her mother kept them alive by working odd jobs while they trekked across the country. Now that Amber was aware that there were other packs, she discovered that they were forever avoiding other werewolves as they traveled.

Winona began working as a waitress in a small diner by day, bar by night in the backwoods of Louisiana when the inevitable happened. She had told Amber to get packed, it was time to go. Amber was once again tired of running and told her mother she wanted to stay. She had finally made a friend and wanted to try and have a life like any other teenage girl, telling her mother there had to be more to life than running all the time.

Amber had seen how Byron, the owner of the bar, looked at her mother. She also noticed how her mother responded to his attention, laughing and smiling when he was around. Amber argued that she wanted to live there, and Byron was prodding Winona to stay, as well. He went down on his knee and proclaimed his love for her, asking her to marry him. His small pack had already accepted her and Amber.

That day was the happiest Amber had ever seen her mother, but that day would also prove to eventually be the undoing of their life together.

A couple months after agreeing to stay, Winona was behind the bar. It was mid-afternoon, too late for lunch and too early for dinner, so the place was empty save one lonely occupant. He was a regular and waved goodbye to Winona and Amber when he got up to leave, disappearing through the exit. Winona turned her back to the door and began restocking the glasses.

Before the door closed behind the old man, it was swung open again and in walked a group of men that had Amber immediately tensing in her seat in the back corner of the diner. She watched five very large men stalk in the door, talking loudly amongst themselves. She saw her mother’s shoulders tense. Amber frowned, wondering what her mother was doing when she appeared to spill whiskey down the front of her apron before turning around.

Amber knew if she could feel the fear pouring off her mother, then the werewolves who had just walked in could, too. Winona and Amber both stared as the leader of the group snapped his head up, looking in Winona’s direction, lightly sniffing the air, a slight frown creasing his otherwise smooth forehead.