Nor Iron Bars A Cage (30 page)

The knowledge of how to brace my useless, stupid, fecking right hand fell away from me. I felt a
presence
withdraw from my mind. I found myself high up on a
fecking cliff,
clinging on for dear life. Alone and up in the air crazy, unbalanced, frozen and useless, with Tobin
about to die down there
…

-Xan! Dammit, Xan!

-Perhaps this is the moment I prayed for.
His voice was dispassionate. -
Not the knowledge of the place where the men issued forth, but this moment, when a flatlander needs my help to save another, and I can deny it.

-Help him! Show me how to help him!
I was too terrified, watching the R’gin below sliding into position behind Tobin, to even care that Xan was still there in my head. He could stay, could have all of me, if he’d just let me warn Tobin.
-All of me, forever. Whatever you ask. Help him!

Below me, Tobin turned Darkwind in another slow circle. The R’gin flattened himself to the rock, waiting. Tobin’s gaze didn’t rise. He was looking for me, no doubt assumed that with my hand, I’d never have been able to climb.
Without someone guiding each move.

Tobin completed his circle, turning his back again to the R’gin. The man on the rock drew himself forward, raising his blade, leg-muscles bunched under him to leap. My heart tried to beat itself out of my chest, and my vision blurred. Tobin would die, and then I would fall. By then it wouldn’t matter. I bit back a sob. That bastard Xan wouldn’t hear me cry. Maybe I’d come back and haunt the mother-raping mountain man until the ends of time for this…

My right hand slammed into a crack with enough force to break a knuckle. I didn’t even feel the pain. My left hand let go of its grip, reached out, and plucked a loose flake of shale from the cliffside like a man picking a flower in his familiar garden. I threw the shard out and down, with aim I never in my life possessed. It struck the R’gin on the arm, before clattering to the stone. His startled movement scraped his boots on the boulder, and Tobin whirled and pulled Dark up on his hind legs.

The R’gin couldn’t halt his leap. He crashed against Dark’s raised shoulder, instead of Tobin’s unprotected back. Dark lashed out with his hooves, and Tobin’s blade flashed. Both men yelled. There was blood running down Dark’s neck, but Tobin struck again, and again, and the R’gin fell flat, and lay still. Tobin stood in his stirrups, blade raised, looking around, finally looking up. “Lyon!”

I had to clutch at the stone with both hands again, gritting my teeth at the pain in my finger. I couldn’t wave. I could hardly breathe. So at first he missed me, in my stone shelter. But the second time he searched the cliff-face, I moved my elbow just enough. I saw him catch the motion.

He rode Dark over right underneath me. It was harder to see him there, but easier to hear.

“You crazy man.” His voice echoed my relief. “What are you doing up there?”

“Hiding?” I said it thinly, but he caught the words.

“Good thought. Interesting choice of a hiding place.”

“People don’t look up.”

“I certainly didn’t.” He hesitated. “Are you going to come down?”

“Almost certainly.” Then I added in bitter honesty, “One way or the other.”

“You climbed up there all right.”

“Well, yes. But I had help. And down is harder, I think.” Especially if Xan left me to my own devices.

“Help? You…?” I heard his voice change. “The ghost isn’t gone.”

“Not yet. Fortunately.” I tried to make it sound light, and indeed I would forever be grateful. But promises made in a life-or-death moment are harder to keep in the stillness of the aftermath.

“Goddess, Lyon. What can I do?”

“Watch your fecking back, until I can get down and do it. There were a bunch of those bastards roaming about.”

“True. I think we got most of them. Obviously not all. Maybe you should stay there, until I get some company to guard you. Can you do that? Just stay safe there?”

“Probably.”

“And will… will the ghost help you down?”

Good question. I stayed silent. Tobin stared up at me for a long time, his gaze intense and worried. Trying to look down over my arm at him was too hard on my neck, or maybe on my heart, so I turned my eyes to the rock in front of me. Eventually he said again, “Just stay put. I’ll bring help.”

I heard him ride off.

I turned my attention to the cliff face. How hard could it be? I just had to retrace my steps. I’d come up here fast and easily, well, sort of easily. Surely I could do the reverse. I pulled my aching hand out of its crack, and tried to remember where I’d put it before that. That little ledge thing? It didn’t look safe enough. My left fingers were clenched white on the stone and I wasn’t sure I’d ever have the nerve to let go.

-You have to read the stone.
Xan sounded like Meldov in a pedantic mood.
-The shape, the cracks, see where the shadows mark depth. Flow across the stone like water.

I laughed bitterly.
-Waterfall, you mean.

-You won’t fall.

-Will you guide me down then, to keep this body intact?

-I’ll guide you. Do you wish to wait for your stallion man to return?

-Goddess, no.
If I fell, I didn’t want Tobin to see it. Bad enough for him to pick up the pieces afterward. And every minute that passed made me shakier.

-Very well then.

The climb down turned out to be far harder than up. One move at a time, Xan guided me in placing a foot, and then a hand. Jamming my right hand correctly was frustrating agony. Over and over, Xan said sharply,
-No! You’re not braced right.

What felt like hours later, and less than halfway, I snarled
“Just take over, damn it! Just do it!”

-I can’t.

-The hells you can’t. You did on the way up.

-I didn’t. I whispered to you, guided you, yes. You felt my reactions— relief whenever I saw a move was well done, concern when I feared disaster. And you were focused on climbing and followed each detail, since you thought it was unsuspected skill. But I can’t move a muscle of one of your fingers on my own.

-Well, feck it.
I wasn’t sure how I actually felt about that, or even whether I believed it. I’d have jumped for joy, I suppose, if I hadn’t still been twenty feet up above a field of boulders. I tried to reposition my hand instead.

At some point I became aware that there were people below me. I couldn’t look down. The absence of arrows suggested it wasn’t the R’gin, but even if it had been, the minutes of clinging that I had left in me were dwindling. My world narrowed down to the face of the rock, and Xan’s steady voice.
-To the left, a hand’s breadth. Down a hair more. There. Brace your toes further right. Now the left hand. Lean.

I eased myself down the rock, inch by inch, and didn’t fall.

Eventually Tobin’s voice said, “I’m going to touch you.”

It barely penetrated my concentration, but his hand on my right calf almost made me fall. He guided my foot lower to another outcropping. Then my left foot. And then as I slid my left hand downward, his palm braced my butt. The relief made me sob. But I didn’t fall backwards onto him as I longed to. Tobin had been catching and propping me up for too long. I was going to come back to him this time with both my own feet on the ground.

The last moves were fast and rough, and perhaps his grip did help. But finally I stood on flat stone with both feet. I turned.

Tobin grabbed me and wrapped me tight against him, knocking the breath from my chest. “Holy Bian,” he groaned against my cheek. “When I saw them leading Cricket with an empty saddle… and then the cliff.”

My arms were too sore to even raise them. I leaned against him. “I was safe. You were the one with a R’gin behind him with a sword. And with…” I leaned back to get a better look. “Tobin, you have blood in your hair, and on your jacket. How bad is it?”

He didn’t ease off enough for me to see much. “Mostly not mine. A slice on my shoulder, maybe. It doesn’t matter.”

“The hells it doesn’t.” I tried to shove him away. “Let me see how bad it is, hero-man.”

I think even then he wouldn’t have let go, but the king rode up, with his guardsmen behind him. “Tobin, we’re mopping up now. How’s Lyon?”

“I’m fine, Your Majesty,” I said.
And able to speak for myself, thank you.
Although I didn’t say that aloud. “Did we get here too late?”

“Not on your life.” He gave me a tired but exultant grin. “About fifty of their advance party had come through. They weren’t even set up in their positions yet when we rode in on them. We caught another fifteen or so before they realized we were waiting for them. The bulk of the Prince-Regent’s army is now down in that tunnel, trying to turn themselves around.” His grin got wider. “In the dark, after hours, maybe days, of walking. With tired spooked horses, and lanterns running low on oil, I’d bet.”

“So it was worth all this?”

“Absolutely. Another two days, and we’d have had thousands of enemies in these hills, maybe more men than I have with me. Even a few hours more and they’d have had their scouts out to protect the beachhead. We’d have lost a lot of men, driving them back. Of course, once we knew they were coming, the attack became likely to fail, but this way saved hundreds of lives on both sides. We’ve got archers set up across from the waterfall now, and all along the little crevasse that leads from behind it out to the valley. That terrain works in our favor now. They’re bottled in and they know it. It’s over.”

I sighed, and let my eyes close for a moment. Tobin alive. Hundreds of men. Worth it.

Tobin said, “Lyon needs rest and, um, a consultation with the sorcerers.”

I shook my head. I didn’t really want to talk to those old men. But the king and Tobin were speaking rapidly, spilling all my secrets like marbles from a pouch, strewn across the ground. And I was too tired to pick them up. I heard, “…still in his head… was possessed before… ghost…. wraith… maybe affected… sunrise.”

I bestirred myself enough to knee Tobin’s thigh and say, “Big mouth.”

He turned his attention to me. “What? Oh, I’m sorry. But it’s the king. He needs to know.”

“Not
all
my secrets.” There was darkness that was no one’s business but my own. I couldn’t remember now how much Tobin knew of it.

“Not all, I swear. But enough to get that ghost out of you, goddess willing.”

“I guess.” I sat abruptly on the ground, sliding out of his surprised hold. “I’ll wait here while you figure it out.”

Tobin knelt behind me. “Do you need to lie down? Are you hurt?”

That reminded me. “No, you are. Go get a medic to look at it.”

“It’s not important.”

The king said sharply, “Tobin?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Are you wounded?”

“A scratch, sir.”

“Well, get it seen to. And Lyon’s hand too. Then mount up and we’ll head home. We’ll consult with Firstmage on the situation with the ghost.” He whirled his horse away and rode off.

Tobin gave a short laugh, and took my battered hand in his. “And I didn’t even see this. Come on, let’s get us both to the medic as my king commands.”

“It’s a good thing you listen to someone,” I grumbled. Together, we got ourselves up off the ground and went in search of someone with a medic’s white tunic to see to our hurts.

****

CHAPTER NINE

I’d have been pacing around the room, except I was far too exhausted. I lay on the bed and let Tobin do it for me.

Tobin said, “So you thought the ghost left when the enchantment broke, but he was still in there.
Is
still there.”

“Yep.” We’d been through this a dozen times. At least.

“But he doesn’t control you. Not really.”

“Not at all. So he says.” Who knew? Could I really have just been following his directions on that fast smooth ascent? Xan had been silent since getting me off the cliff wall, but I hadn’t asked him anything more either. I wasn’t sure I wanted the answers. What was my consent to his possession worth, in this situation? Had my impulsive offer on that cliff bound me to him, or him to me, or neither one? I hadn’t told Tobin about that part.

“And it doesn’t…” Tobin came and sat on the side of the bed, looking at me. “It doesn’t
hurt
you?”

“No.”

“But he hears us talking.”

“He doesn’t speak the language, remember? That’s what got me into this mess in the first place.”

“No, it’s not. I did. If I hadn’t ridden out to fetch you…”

“Then I might well be already dead.” I took Tobin’s forefinger, and ran it along those straight scars that lined my wrist above my bandaged hand. “Remember? I’d been locked in my own version of safety so long, I was seeing only one way out. I regret nothing.” Almost nothing.

“You said you weren’t trying to kill yourself.”

“I wasn’t trying. But I still might have succeeded.” I could remember the seductive darkness of it, the feeling of controlling one vital thing in my life, the pleasure-pain of skin parting under the blade, as that first drop of the rest of my life rolled free. Now, deep in my mind, I felt Xan stir uneasily.
-Don’t worry,
I told him.
-I’ve found something better.

Tobin took my face between his hands and stared into my eyes. “That’s over with though, right? You’re going to make every effort to live for me?”

“I promise.”

He leaned forward and kissed me warmly, then hesitated. “Does he feel that? What we do together?”

“I guess so.”

-He kisses well, for a man.

-Don’t
do
that.

-What?

-Talk about him. Or him and me. At all.

-You needn’t fear I want him myself. I was always one-souled, and then two-souled with Tia.

-Either way, it’s private.

-Very well.

Tobin was eyeing me. “Was that a conversation with Xan?”

“Yes.”

“What did he say?”

“He thinks you’re sexy,” I said provocatively.

“Oh. Um.” He looked nonplussed. For once I’d shut Tobin up cold.