Nor Iron Bars A Cage (36 page)

“What are you sorry for? It was all my doing.”

“I rode down after the king and left you on a hilltop with the R’gin around. That for starters.”

“No.” I reached out with my good hand and he folded it between his own. “It was your sworn duty. And the king was in trouble. Anyway, if you hadn’t, I might not have had to listen to Xan. And then not have dared to follow Xan’s guidance again, there at the end.”

Tobin raised my hand to his mouth and brushed a kiss over my knuckles. “Someday I’ll want to know what in the hells that means. For now, all I care is that you don’t hate me for it.”

“Gods and goddess, no, Tobin, never.”

He pressed my hand against his cheek.

I dozed again then. The next time I woke, the sun was lower, but Tobin wore the same shirt. When he offered me the cup, I was able to raise it with only a little help and drink well. My head was finally free of the haze.

I said, “Two days. Can you tell me what’s happened?”

Tobin tucked the covers closer around me. “The king is gone, riding west to the coast with half the archers and all of the cavalry. Now we have this end guarded, he wanted to give Estray some help. There was another message-bird, and although Estray’s confident in the outcome, he’s still fighting. He had our navy come and blockade their ships at the landing. He wants a victory, not a retreat, so perhaps we can come to terms with them and put an end to this.”

“Terms with the Prince Regent?”

“Or his successor. The strategists think his status was heavily invested in this attempt to conquer us. If it fails, and fails badly, he might be replaced as Regent. Anyway, the king wants to be there to direct how it falls out.”

“He’s a good man,” I said slowly. “I can see why you serve him.”

“He’s not bad, for an obsessive tyrant.” Tobin’s smile belied his words. “He offered you his rooms, but I thought you might feel safer up here, in a smaller space. So he left you his mattress and furs, his thanks and a letter.”

“Hand it over.”

Tobin got up and fetched a folded paper off the dresser. “I could read it to you.” His waggling eyebrow and finger hovering over the wax seal made his curiosity clear.

“Just open the seal and hand it over. He might be giving me the tools to blackmail you into doing my bidding.”

 Tobin flicked the seal open and passed the paper over, but held onto his end for a moment as I took it. “I will always do your bidding.”

“Unless you think you know better.”

“Well, that, of course.”

I smiled at him. “Wouldn’t have you any other way.” I shook open the page, ostentatiously turned it so he couldn’t see the text, and squinted at it in the fading sunlight.

“Sorcerer Lyon,

“We regret that the demands of Our office force Us to depart with your recovery uncertain. If you are reading these words, then Our concerns are eased. We hereby acknowledge that you did place life and liberty in the service of the Crown, for which you have earned Our unending gratitude. More substantial rewards will follow.”

The writing became sloppier, as if penned in haste.

“~That’s the formal part. Just a few more things I wanted to say for now. First, do pick out some kind of reward or I’ll pick one for you. And Tobin says I have horrible taste.

“Second, Chief Xan’s flamestone is yours. Do what you like with it— sell it, put it on display, drop it off a cliff. I had Secondmage test it, and it doesn’t seem to work as a focus anymore. He says Xan’s ghost probably didn’t last through the banishment. Hopefully the old man is in a better place.”

I fervently hoped so too. May he have found his Tia at last.

“Last, Tobin. He’s a good man, a better man than me, although I’ll consider it treason for you to tell him I said so. Ever since I’ve known him, when he would get really drunk, he’d talk about you. When he came to me in the palace, after finding you again, he was happier than I’ve seen before. I thought you might be doubting that, so I wanted to make it clear. It would please me to see you together.

“I hope to get to know you better, but this is not the time. Let Tobin take care of you, and bring you back to Riverrun. It will comfort him, and I look forward to seeing you there.

              His Majesty Faro II, Duke of Umbria, Lord of Westmarch, etc. etc.”

“Hm. A letter from the king himself.” I folded it in a small square, and slipped it under my pillow.

“Is there a reason you’re treating it like a love note? Anything I should know?”

I smacked Tobin’s thigh weakly with the back of my good hand. “He told me all your secrets.”

“Ha. He doesn’t know most of them.”

“He gave me Xan’s flamestone.”

“Really? That came out of the palace treasury. Which I suppose does mean the king can give it away if he chooses to.” Tobin tilted his head, seeming to calculate something. “That’s one hell of a gem. You could do a lot with the money. Or will you keep it as a memento?”

It was tempting to sell it. I had some new dreams, and a fund of cash would help immensely. But I thought I owed Xan more than that. “I want to give it to the Marmot clan. Chief Xan gave it in trade to us flatlanders for something he never received. I’d like to see it go back where it belongs. There may be descendants of his still there.”

“That’s admirable, if a little unworldly of you.”

“I owe the old man a hell of a lot more than that.”

“Can you…” Tobin hesitated. “Is it too soon for you to tell me what happened?”

I pleated the coverlet between my good fingers, folding and unfolding it until Tobin covered my hand with his own. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to. But I may leave some things out.” I tried to explain what the transference had been like, and the feeling when it broke. The sensation of climbing the cliff with Xan’s subtle help. The way he guided me in throwing the stone at the R’gin. I didn’t mention the moment of agony when Tobin’s life hung in the balance, weighed against a millennium of bitter anger. Xan had helped me in the end. Let him be an uncomplicated hero.

Tobin sat still as stone, while I talked about the summoning circle and the wraith. I said, “When I felt him, saw him, saw it, I thought… Oh gods above, I thought everything was over. But we beat it— Xan and I and you.”

Tobin said painfully, “I didn’t do anything.”

“Yes, you did. You brought me back from the grey, and kept me sane enough to do what needed to be done. Your voice was my anchor, through it all.” I had a cold thought, slithering through my gut. “What happened to that, um, token thing?”

“The one that was in your arm?” At least Tobin could say that without an apparent waver, although his eyes were serious. “I asked Thirdmage what to do with it. He stayed, by the way. I’m guessing he’ll want to examine you at some point.”

“For further residue.” The good thing about being so tired, and dosed on poppy, was that it blunted things. I didn’t manage more than a shiver.

“Yes. He said there was a hint of activity to it still. He said a wraith could not be banished forever the way a ghost can be. They’re creatures of the grey. But he said the more changed that thing was, the less of a focus it would be. So I gave it to Doyd, and he took it to the blacksmith, had it melted and hammered into a lump, with all of, well, you, burned off it. Then cased it in iron. I’d have done it myself, but I didn’t want to leave you still… sleeping. But I trust Doyd. He stuck around because he’s heading up into the hills soon, to talk to the current tribes about the tunnel and about the guard tower King Faro is going to erect to watch the entrance. Wouldn’t want them to take that the wrong way.”

“And now where is the
thing
?”

“Doyd has it for now. I didn’t know if you’d want to dispose of it, or lock it away safe, or have him take it into the mountains with him and drop it in a crevasse?”

I thought about it, about having that thing, even cased in iron, lurking in a safe somewhere, always there. “Would he do that? Drop it somewhere really deep?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then yeah, sounds good. If you trust him. Maybe he can return the flamestone to Marmot Clan too.”

Tobin grinned. “Put temptation in the poor man’s way, would you? Luckily he’s a good friend, and as honest as the day is long, so yes. That might even be a good opener to his conversation with the tribes. You know,
‘Here, my king wants to return this fabulous gem to you, and talk about a tower we’re building.’
Could be good.”

“That’s settled then. I’m glad you did that. Thank you.”

“Any time. Anything. Will you feel better now? Do you think that thing was giving you the dreams?”

I didn’t know. Maybe. But the specters and threats that had stalked my nights had felt nebulous and fantastical, not deliberate. “I hope it helps.” I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, though. Even in the bright sunlight, I could hear a laugh, dark and dry as grave dust. “So, once I’m doing better we’ll head back to the capital? Has the king given you leave from your job to escort me there?”

“I didn’t give him much choice, but yes, we have as much time as you need to heal and travel.”

I said, “Lying here in this comfortable bed, I’m actually looking forward to riding out with you again, at our leisure and at a sane pace. It sounds like fun. Of course, my first night on the hard ground may dispel that illusion.”

“I’ll pack a few luxuries. We’ll have the extra horses for baggage. The king left our remounts.”

That reminded me. “How’s Darkwind? I saw him kick that R’gin soldier in the chest, but I thought Dark might have been cut up in the process.” I remembered bright blood on the sleek coat. I’d been too caught up in my own problems to remember until now. “And Cricket? We got him back safely?”

“We got Cricket without trouble. He’s eating his head off in the meadow. Dark’s fine too. Yes, he got a bit of a slice on his neck. But it’ll heal, even if it gives him one more scar.”

“No amount of scars could make that stallion less than beautiful,” I said fervently. He’d defended Tobin at need. He was the perfect horse.

Tobin smiled. “I’m glad you think so. I agree, and someday I’d like to breed horses with him as my foundation sire. He’s only eleven, so there’s a bit of time yet to do it.”

“Is that your dream? To raise horses?” I was getting tired, and my hand throbbed wickedly. I slid lower on my pillows, and let my eyes droop half shut. “Tell me about it.”

“Someday, yes, I’d love to have a stud. A small breeding farm, with Dark’s colts running around, and maybe a few ginger cats, and somewhere on it a small stone house with thick safe walls.” He hesitated and then bent to kiss my lips. “Waiting for you, for whenever you’re ready to join me there.”

“Sounds nice.” I sighed, and tipped my face up slightly, inviting another kiss. Tobin’s lips met mine again, soft and skilled, claiming my mouth and breath and all my thoughts. I was drifting, sliding down into slumber, but kissing Tobin was the best reason I could imagine to stay awake a few more minutes. I nipped at his lip, without opening my eyes. “You would miss your post with the Voices, though, wouldn’t you? The travel and being the king’s man?”

“Maybe. I might do both, hire a stud manager. But the lure of travel and excitement is reduced when you have someone to come home for. To stay home for.”

“Wouldn’t want you to get bored,” I murmured.

“It’s a pipe dream, anyway. Until I raise more money. But the part about coming home to you? That I want, any way I can have it, any time you’re ready.”

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders to pull him closer, and the brush of my wrist across his arm woke the pain still more. “I’m a poor bet. Battered and scarred and half-useless.” I waved my hand near his face.

He caught it gently in his own hands and kissed me, on the one exposed square inch of skin over my last knuckle. “No amount of scars could make you less than beautiful.”

Ah, goddess, that caught my heart and squeezed it. That this man could believe that, of me. When I could breathe, I said, “You don’t really know me. Who I am now.”

“I know enough. I’ll learn more, take all the time you need. But from the moment I saw you again, I knew. You were older and bigger, scarred up and hurt and afraid and so damned gorgeous and strong under it all. I needed you, and you needed me too. You gave me back the light I’d been missing so long, and I could give you a wall at your back wherever you went. We just fit. We always have.”

I surely didn’t feel strong, not back then and not now. I didn’t feel gorgeous, and I didn’t feel like light. But when Tobin looked at me like that, how could I doubt him? “You’ll have to teach me to believe it too.”

“Now there’s a job I can really put my heart into.” He smiled, soft at first, and then he let it slide into wicked. “And also other body parts. Rest up, lion-boy. It’s a week’s slow ride back to the city, and I have plans for every day of it.”

****

EPILOGUE

I stood at Tobin’s high window and looked out into the palace courtyard. The sun was still high, and the space was full of people hurrying about. Riverrun was bustling with activity today. Below me, a running page collided with a man carrying a saddle over his shoulder. A nearby guardsman caught the saddle and steadied the man before he fell. From the look on his face, he said something sharp to the page, who barely hesitated before dashing off. I winced.
So many people.

I wanted to love this place, I really did. Tobin fit here. He knew half of them by name and the other half by sight. Most of them liked him a lot too, although I’d caught more than one crack about “fay bastards” from an old man in the stables. I tried to tell myself it was sour grapes. The stallion the man owned was no match for Darkwind, even with its flashy bay coat and long mane.

We’d been here two weeks now. Two weeks and three days. And every day I hovered between wanting to leave and promising to stay. And in the end did neither. Tobin was probably ready to have “Give me time” tattooed on my forehead, even if he never betrayed his impatience.

The trip here had been… well, lovely. Perfect. Just me and Tobin, and four horses who knew how to mind their own business. Thirdmage had offered us his company and the protection of his guard, when he’d left the tower to return to Riverrun. I’d had an
unfortunate
relapse of weakness and been unable to leave at that time. So sad. We’d followed a few days later.