Not a Second Chance (2 page)

“She’s not skinny,” Sidney said. “But she has a gorgeous figure.”

“I do
not
look like her below the shoulders.” She wished she did, though. “Like I said, you need your eyes checked. For starters, she has bigger breasts.”

“If someone other than me said that—”

“Yes, you bug me. Happy?”

“And you like when I touch you, but you wish you didn’t because you’re scared.”

“Why would I be scared?”

He dropped his hand. “You’re right. It’s not like you could be scared it would open up a wound in your heart. You dumped
me
, and you never loved me anyway.”

Wow, how had they gotten to this already?

But he was right. It wasn’t like she’d felt absolutely nothing for him, but it hadn’t been love. After they broke up, she moped around for three days, but only three days. It hadn’t affected her all that much.

“I have no interest in rehashing our past,” she said, stabbing the cake with her fork.

“Fair enough. We can talk about something else.”

“Yes, maybe you could actually tell me what you do.”

He ignored her, as expected. “Why don’t you eat the rest of the cake? I know you’re concerned about all the calories, but…” The corner of his mouth kicked up. He touched her wrist and leaned in close; she could feel his breath on her cheek. “There are ways we could burn them off.”

Everything but her brain responded with heat to his words. It had been quite a while, after all. More than a year, and that guy had been a miserable experience, so he really shouldn’t count. That must be why her body was on fire.

But her brain thought Sidney was an irritating, presumptuous man, and she ought to pack up the rest of the cake and take it home so she could eat in peace.

“It’s quite a sensible idea,” he said.

She snorted. “Really? Us sleeping together is sensible?”

“Of course. We’re attracted to each other and—”

“You’re assuming a lot.”

He shrugged. “I can tell you’re attracted to me.”

“Cocky,” she muttered. “Just because I thought you were cute a decade ago does not mean I feel the same way now.”

“You keep looking at me and shaking your head, as if you find me irresistible and wish you didn’t.”

“Or as if I think you’re an asshole and am wondering why on earth I’m still sitting beside you.”

“Or that. But let’s just assume you find me irresistible.”

She rolled her eyes. “I find you irritating. Not irresistible.”

“You know it would be good,” he said. “And it wouldn’t dig up any buried feelings since you didn’t have any for me. Plus it would burn off all those calories you’re so worried about. See? It’s a very sensible plan for us to sleep together. Not spend the night together, though. You’d probably stab me in my sleep.”

“I would. And open up a nice big wound in
your
heart.” She looked at him pointedly. “You sure sleeping together wouldn’t do that to you?”

“Don’t worry about me.”

But he’d loved her. That was ten years ago now, and he had to be over her; still, she wondered if he could have meaningless sex with her, given their past. She wasn’t convinced.

Not that she would waste time worrying about him.

“You’re considering it, aren’t you?” he said.

“No. Of course not.”

It was a little tempting, though. She hated that it was, but it had been a damn long time since she’d had good sex. And she knew it would be good with him, much as it pained her to admit he was right, even to herself.

She had some more cake, and he stared at her mouth as she chewed. Since it was making her self-conscious, she placed her hand on his cheek and turned his face away from her, toward the window.

Which was a terrible idea. Now she was thinking about stroking his cheek with her thumb, and her eyes were drawn to
his
mouth, to the slight curl of his lips.

Damn
. He probably knew exactly what she was thinking about.

Allison dropped her hand from his face and looked out the window. At the people walking by, the traffic, the bubble tea shop across the street. Anything but Sidney. When she was done with that bite of cake, she said, “So what
are
you up to these days? You still haven’t told me.”

“You just can’t admit you want to sleep with me.”

“I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“Liar.”

“Jerk.”

He held up his hands. “Okay, I’m a jerk. Now admit you’re a liar.”

“After you answer my question. Apparently this is a real problem for you.”

“Fine. I look forward to you telling me you’re a liar, and you can’t wait to tear my clothes off and—”

“We’re in public,” she hissed.

“I can wait until we’re alone.”

“Not going to happen.”

She expected him to tell her otherwise, but he leaned back and said, “I actually did spend a year living in my parents’ basement, playing lots of online poker. But I’m good at it, so I made money.”

“And then?”

“My parents threatened to start charging me rent if I didn’t do something with my life. A
lot
of rent. But I had a friend who was training to be a welder, and I figured I could do something like that. So I did an apprenticeship and became an electrician.”

“How long did that take?”

“About five years,” he said. “Now I work for a construction company.”

“Do you regret going to university?” she asked.

“Nah. It was a ton of fun.”

She supposed it was if you didn’t do any homework.

“But it was a waste of time, yeah. Life got easier when I stopped thinking I had to be someone I wasn’t.” He grinned. “
Now
will you tell me you’re a liar?”

“I’m not finished yet. I’m going to assume you’re single, or the things you’ve said to me would be highly inappropriate.”

“And we both know I’m never inappropriate.”

“Exactly.”

Why, why,
why
did her mind have to jump to images of them doing something very inappropriate? If only she could banish these thoughts to Antarctica. Or Mars. Better yet, Pluto.

She glanced back at Eliza, who gave her a thumbs-up. All Eliza would be able to see was Allison talking to a hot guy. From her view, it would look much better than the reality. The reality was that Allison was having some seriously unwanted thoughts about her ex.

“Yes, I’m single,” he said.

And she would not take advantage of that. “Divorced?”

“No.”

“Any children?”

He laughed.

“I don’t see why that’s funny,” she said. “I remember you wanting children. And I remember us having serious conversations about that sort of thing—all of them instigated by you.”

“You’re the last woman I had those conversations with.” He wasn’t laughing now. No, he looked a little grim. “The last woman I dated for more than a month or two.”

That surprised her. “Was having serious relationships part of you trying to be someone you weren’t?”

“You could say that.”

Liar.
When they were together, he’d truly seemed like a relationship kind of guy. But she wouldn’t bring that up—no need to get into this with Sidney. She didn’t need to know any more about his love life. Time to talk about something that had nothing to do with their past.

“Where do you live?” she asked.

“Near the lake. You?”

“Close to here.”

“Ah. So it would be easier to go to your place.” He tilted his head, his expression now playful. “Come on, just admit you want to sleep with me.”

“Even if I admit that—”

“Which you will, because you promised you would if I told you about my life.”

“—it doesn’t mean I’ll go home with you.”

“But you’ll take me back to your place.” He crossed his arms and nodded, an irritating smile on his face.

My God, he’s impossible.

“Okay, I admit I lied,” she said, cringing at her words. “I’m sure if we slept together, it would be good. And it’s been quite a while since I had sex, so the idea
is
rather tempting. But we are
not
doing it.”

He picked up his fork and pointed at the plate. “Since you won’t let me help you burn off calories, should I eat the rest of your cake?”

“No.” She grabbed the plate away from him. “This is my reward for dealing with you. If it goes to my hips, well, that’s too bad. But I deserve this treat.”

“And here I assumed you were having cake because you’d broken a nail.”

She bit her lip.

“I’m right?” He slapped the table, then tipped his head back and laughed.

“No, you’re wrong. I’m having cake because I’ve had a rough week. And it just turned into a
very
rough week.”

“Fine. Eat your cake.”

“I will. Don’t watch my mouth while I do it.”

“If you insist. “ He closed his eyes and rested his hands in his lap.

Allison turned toward the window and started on the remaining third of her slice while trying to forget about the man beside her.

And she was having some success until he said, “Want to know what I’m picturing with my eyes closed?”

She glared at him before realizing he couldn’t see her expression. “I’ll pass. And I suggest you think about sunshine and rainbows instead.”

“I’m curious to hear what you believe I’m thinking about.”

“Well, you’re out of luck.”

Allison quietly picked up her cake and coffee. She walked to the back of the bakery and sat down at a table, where she finished her cake without any interruption.

Eliza came over and collected her dishes. “He’s hot.” She glanced toward Sidney. “What’s up with you two?”

“My ex,” Allison said, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. He seemed blissfully unaware that she’d deserted him. “Haven’t seen him in ten years. For good reason.”

Eliza nodded and said nothing more. As she walked back to the counter, Sidney opened his eyes and looked about. He waved at Allison.

She could just leave. Walk out the door and hope she never saw him again.

But she couldn’t seem to haul herself out of the chair as she watched him swagger over to her table, every gorgeous inch of him getting closer and closer. There was some kind of invisible glue working its magic on her ass, some kind of invisible force that would not let her look at anything but him, some strange kind of electricity sending currents of desire down her spine.

This was bad.

“Back corner,” he said. “Interesting choice.”

“As far away from you as I could get.”

“Without actually leaving.” He sat down and shifted his chair close to hers. “Let me help you make the decision.”

“What decision are you—”

His mouth was on hers before she could finish that sentence, his hand on the back of her head, pulling her toward him. His other hand crept up her shoulder to her neck, just above the collar of her shirt. He stroked her bare skin as he brushed his lips over hers, and she closed her eyes and sank into his kiss. But even though it felt damn good, even though her entire body came alive at his touch, she didn’t kiss him back. She just slid her hand onto his knee and let him have his gentle way with her at the back of the bakery, keeping her eyes closed so she couldn’t see who was watching. So she couldn’t see
him
.

He didn’t kiss her for very long. Just long enough for her to know she had no chance of turning him down.

Irritating, irresistible man.

And he knew it.

“When we go back to your place, do you promise to be an active participant?” he said.

“Yes.” If only she was immune to his charms. Unfortunately, she wasn’t. “But let’s be clear on what’s going to happen. We are going back to my condo to have sex. It has to be quick because I’m having dinner with my friends at seven thirty. And then you will leave, and you will never come back. This will not become a regular thing, the two of us sleeping together.”

“Always so bossy.” He dropped his forehead to hers. “Okay, I promise. But—”

“One more thing. You will talk as little as possible, or you risk getting kicked in the balls. Got it?”

“Perhaps that’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he said, sliding his hand through her hair.

“Then you’re an idiot. You better do as I say.” But she didn’t put much force into her words. In her mind, she was already lying naked on her stomach as he kissed his way down her back.

She couldn’t believe she was going to have sex with Sidney. She clenched her thighs as she imagined him sliding inside, his weight pressing down on her, his tongue tangling with hers.

She better not regret this.

But she probably would.

They walked up Yonge Street toward Allison’s place, wherever that was. It was early May, a rather nice spring day. There were even a few birds chirping, though the sound of the birds was overwhelmed by the sound of traffic.

And Sidney had a rather bizarre urge. He wanted to hold her hand.

What the hell was wrong with him?

The last time he’d held a woman’s hand would have been ten years ago. Allison’s, of course. He wouldn’t do it outside of a relationship, and since then, he’d had a rule: he never slept with a woman more than five times. And he’d been very good at following that rule. He’d probably have more sex if he was in a relationship, but that was the only advantage of being in one. And it wasn’t worth it.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and fell a few steps behind Allison. There. Now he couldn’t hold her hand, and he could stare at her ass.

He hadn’t been lying: he loved her figure. Pretty much exactly as he remembered. Her waist flared out to generous hips and a great ass. She was average height, and her breasts were average size too. But they were great breasts. And soon he would get his hands on them.

She stopped and turned around. “It’s weird that you’re walking behind me instead of beside me.”

“But you said I should talk as little as possible.”

“It would be less weird for you to walk beside me and say nothing than to walk behind me and stare at my ass.”

“Who said I was doing that?”

“Come on. I know that’s what you were doing.”