Not For Sharing (Romance with Sizzle)
Read Not For Sharing (Romance with Sizzle) Online
Authors: Kenzi Costello
BY KENZI COSTELLO
Text Copyright © 2012
Kenzi Costello
All Rights Reserved
Thanks
to M for being a wonderful sister and an inspiration. I love you dearly. A big
thank-you also to J and S for your enthusiasm.
I pledge to personally
donate £2 per book review to
Bright Cancer Charity
. Details can be found
at - www.justgiving.com/kenzi-costello
Pru had always been known as a good girl. She had only ever
had one lover, Ethan, the former bad-boy who had procured her innocence many
years before. However, this morning she had somehow found herself in a hotel bed
with a strangers hands wandering over her shapely breasts. Would Ethan’s curious
and recent disinterest in her be enough to justify her betrayal? With the
deliciously scented stranger showing clear signs he wanted to arouse her to ecstasy,
she had two choices – unleash her sinful urges or save herself for Ethan’s
pleasure only?
1 –
Blur
Present Day
“
Ethan
.
Ethan
,” the voice murmurs and startles me awake. As my eyes flicker
open, I realise the voice is my own, uttering my boyfriend’s name in a dream. I
instinctively reach out to the sideboard to check my mobile phone. Instead I
pick up something that feels like a large plastic key-fob. Within seconds my
mind starts to race, it’s too dark to survey my surroundings properly but I
figure I must be in a hotel. My head feels heavy from dehydration as I
frantically try to piece together the previous night’s events.
I recall
having an almighty row with my boyfriend, Ethan, over accusations of his
supposed infidelity. Then, out of anger and frustration I had gone out with
friends with the sole intention of getting pissed on absurd amounts of liquor. This
was so out of character for me. When I was 16, my father had taken a video of
me muttering incoherently, with cider splattered through my dishevelled hair
and mascara smudged down my face. I had been so horrified by it’s ugliness that
I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol in thirteen years. Well, until now.
I start to
have flashbacks but most of the night is still a blur. The last thing I
remember is being helped into a car by two guys wearing dark red chinos.
Actually, now I think about it, that was probably just the severe double-vision.
I do remember thinking that he seemed tall and oh so fit, with a buzz-cut
hairstyle; that was just before I passed out on the back seat. As the panic sets
in of where I am, I hear an indistinct murmur from behind me, and then a broad,
muscly arm stretches lazily over to rest on my hip. I freeze, too ashamed and
terrified to turn around.
Oh crap!
As much as I suspect Ethan has betrayed me, this is definitely not the answer!
Although,
with my panties still on, I feel safe, strangely enough, as if they are my
shield. I imagine that if I was in any danger, I would have been exposed to it
by now.
Now this
is
a first. Until now I’ve never had a one night stand; Ethan has been my only
lover. Let’s see what all my friends would make of this – maybe now they will
drop their affectionate but patronising “Prissy Pru” nickname for me.
I can’t
believe, that for a split second, I feel quite proud of losing my conservative
status. Almost immediately feelings of guilt set in as my thoughts turn back to
Ethan. A jealousy swells inside me as I imagine the undoubted female attention
that he would have got last night dressed in naval uniform for his friend
Jonah’s, stag night.
I still love
Ethan madly but just recently I was seeing less and less of him and when I did,
he seemed too tired to get frisky. What was more cause for concern was that he
had even rejected my advances. Ethan refuse sex? Anyone that knew Ethan would
say that this was as likely as him turning down one of his mum’s famous Sunday
roasts – unheard of! How much longer would I have to rely on my vibrating toys
for enjoyment? It was a standing joke with my
best friend that if I wanted an orgasm, I’d have to buy batteries first.
There always
seems to be other distractions in his life, his work, his family, his friends,
or
so
he says, and now I was beginning to feel like a little-girl-lost,
vying for his attention. I dreaded life without him but my nightmare was
becoming more real each day.
If he ever
found out about my misdeed, there would be one of two outcomes; it would be the
nail in the coffin of our shaky relationship and an excuse for him to escape
from it, or, it would shock him into realising he didn’t want to lose me.
In all
honesty, I couldn’t risk this getting out, for the health and safety of the unwitting
man lying beside me more than anything. I was well aware that Ethan had a dangerous
side. I’d never witnessed it personally because most of his misdemeanours had
been carried out as a juvenile delinquent. (His reason for never running from a
fight in his youth was that his tattered trainers might fall apart if he did) I
didn’t want to know the details quite honestly because
my
Ethan was pure
of heart, ok maybe a little scorched around the edges but 24-carat all the
same. I had only known him to be overly-protective of me, and I believe this
was instilled in him through seeing his mother suffer years of abuse at the
hand of his father. At age 13, and during a particularly violent episode, Ethan
jumped in between them and knocked his father unconscious. This impulsive act
severed their relationship completely and his father died from alcohol
poisoning not long after. This was around the time that Ethan began his slow
decline down a reprehensible path. I’m not sure that he had ever confronted his
demons, which, I believe, is why he trivialised sombre or heated moments, and
which I could find quite exasperating.
His riotous
nature as an adult was rather more selective, seen only in exceptional
circumstances. The only time I’d had proof of it was very early on in our
relationship. I had expressed to Ethan my fury at a colleague, from our parent
company, who had taken a drunken lunge to indecently grope me at a corporate
event. I re-call Ethan being disturbingly quiet. He clicked his neck to the
side, his eyes blinked rapidly and I could see his jawbone repeatedly
clenching. I had never seen him react like that before, and haven’t since,
thank goodness. I heard through the grapevine three weeks later, that my
colleague had been seen with black eyes and a broken nose but had refused to
report the incident further. I never challenged Ethan about it, I didn’t need
to, but I
quickly learnt never to mention
any impropriety again, well not anything I could handle myself anyway.
I hold my
forehead, trying to stop my shrivelled brain from banging against my skull. I
certainly didn’t miss this part of getting smashed. I can safely say that being
tee-total is the way forward
, again.
Then I feel my heart sink as
notions of Ethan’s alleged affair begin to persecute my soul again.
11 Years Earlier
Pru had met
the notorious Ethan Cassidy when she was a wide-eyed 18yr old, and he, four
years older at 22.She was now 29 years old and more passionate than ever but
with Ethan becoming strangely withdrawn, she had started to question whether
the chemistry was still there. It hadn’t always been like this. The hot-blooded
attraction at their first encounter was unmistakeable. However, at the time,
Pru had needed far more persuading than Ethan to act upon it…
It was the
summer of 2001 and Ethan was enjoying a few beers at a local wine-bar,
The Clover
Club,
preparing for a boisterous Saturday night ahead with several friends.
Riley, his closest friend, was celebrating his 23rd birthday. Their simple itinerary
included a pub crawl around town, rounding off with a visit to
Quantum Casino
,
in the city. Ben, being the youngest and unable to keep up with the others, had
made other plans.
“Shit! I
really have to go. I’m supposed to be on a date in
Henri’s
restaurant
and I’m an hour late already,” slurred Ben, his eyes glazing over. His one knee
would buckle every few seconds as if an invisible hand was jabbing his leg from
behind.
As his
friends burst into derisive laughter, Ethan smirked and knuckled his friends
head with fondness. “You can’t even entertain a sensible thought right now
Benny, let alone a woman.”
An indignant
Ben protested loudly and slovenly. “Hey! I must be doing something right
because this will be our fifth date,” he said smugly, holding up four fingers.
“I can charm the ladies as much as the next man.”
“Unless the
man next to you happens to be Ethan,” said James, throwing in a resentful
penny’s worth, but Ben was insistent of his supposed allure.
“I’ll have
you know I had women falling all over me last night.”
“Only
because you collapsed in the doorway,” Riley remarked dryly as the men continued
to jeer the apathetic Ben, bonding over the affectionate ridicule of their easy
target.
“Hang on
Ethe, weren’t you supposed to be giving up birds and booze?” asked Ben
accusingly, hoping to turn his friends’ aspersions elsewhere.
Ethan
laughed dismissively. “I did, last week. It was the worst 30 minutes of my
life.” He recalled making the farcical resolution after waking up one morning
with a dreadful hangover and yet another infatuated girl clinging onto his arm.
Ethan’s
merriment was interrupted abruptly as his attention was drawn to a young girl
entering the bar. He watched as she appeared to almost float through the
doorway, wearing a cute denim playsuit, evocative of a 50’s pin-up and looking
as pretty as a picture with her dark chestnut hair sleek and waved around her
shoulders. He had stopped mid-gulp of his
beer,
captivated by her air of un-assuming beauty. The girl glanced around as if
looking for someone, and then ambled over to the sniggering group of men, with Ben
appearing to be in her line of fire. What happened to Ethan next was quite
extraordinary.
Time slowed
down around him and yet a thousand thoughts charged through his head. Turmoil seized
his body and magnified his senses. He could feel his heart beating in his ears,
the gasp from his mouth was deafening, and it appeared as though the girl was
striding in slow motion as he became more intrigued with her every step.
Ben
languidly gestured an embrace, spilling a few drops of his beer in doing so. “Oh
hi babe, I was just about to meet you.”
The young
girl took the bottle out of his hand, and with commendable coolness, poured the
watery contents over his head. The cold liquid dripped through his hair and
down onto his face. Then she flounced out without uttering a word. Ben, in his
wasted state, was slow to react but then spluttered and shook his head
vigorously, like a wet dog drying it’s fur. The whole bar erupted into
thunderous clapping and cheering. Ethan, however, became rather more solemn.
Without knowing why, he raced out after the girl.
“Pru, wait!”
She swung
around swiftly on hearing her name. He caught up with her, feeling baffled as
to what he would do next. His body was on fast-forward but his mind was set on
timer-delay, and although he was accustomed to his libido acting irrationally, he
wasn’t used to his heart behaving in the same way
.
“Well I’m
guessing that you’re Pru anyway, after that amusing assault on Ben. Or if
you’re the new barmaid here, isn’t the customer supposed to
finish
their
beer before you collect their empties?” he quipped, glancing down at the bottle
still gripped tightly in her hand.
Pru’s stern
mood softened under his light-hearted manner and she placed the bottle on the
wall beside them.
“No, I’m
definitely Pru but let’s get one thing straight, Ben Mills is no longer on my
speed dial,” she declared adamantly.
This was
where Ethan would usually jump to defend his friend’s poor behaviour. He
didn’t. Instead, his heart did somersaults on hearing her announcement. He felt
surprisingly fidgety and he hung his hands loose and low from his jean pockets
to contain their movement.
“I have to
say, I’m really disappointed with Ben,” he remarked.
Pru was glad
of the moral support. “Thank-you, it’s good to know that someone else thinks he’s
been a jerk too”.
“No, I mean
I’m disappointed that he let his beer go to waste. I’ve told him to keep his
mouth open if a lady ever pours a drink over him.”