Not Happily Married in Hollywood: Not in Hollywood Book 2 (11 page)

Standing in the foyer of the funeral home waiting for Tomas,
I tried desperately to rein those fantasies in as I contemplated the floral
arrangements dotted around the room. The colors were a light pastel cream which
looked a lot more tasteful than I would have expected, in fact I had to give
Tomas points for the entire place. It was out of the way and looked like a
small stately home on acreage at the end of a long driveway. There had even
been a security guard at the gate to the property. I don’t think we would have
been able to find a more discreet place to hold the funeral. Bustling in, Tomas
came up to me and hugged me, kissing me on the cheek.

“Trudie, I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.”

“That’s okay” I said. “Where did you find this place? It is
absolutely perfect.”

“You wouldn’t believe the places that are around for
funerals” Tomas said. He grabbed my hand.

“Now I need you to have a look at Eric to make sure that he
is acceptable for the viewing tomorrow.”

I stopped short and Tomas who had my hand and was obviously
lighter than me got yanked back.

“Nuh, uh” I said shaking my head. “I am not looking at a
dead body.”

Tomas looked at me patiently, “Sweetie” he said, using that
calming voice which really just has a tendency to put me on edge. “Weren’t you
the one who found the body?”

I nodded.

“In that case you’ve already seen the man dead.”

“Yes I have, and that image is one that I would be very
happy if I could remove it from my brain. I really do not need to have a
reinforcement with several days of decomposition added on top.”

“Oh honey” Tomas said, grabbing my hand again and dragging
me forward. For a little guy he sure had some strength to him when he got
going.

“Trust me, Helena is a genius. You won’t believe what she
has managed to do.”

He dragged me through the building pointing out flowers and
colors, accepting my murmurs as approval until we got to the morgue. As Tomas
opened the door I stopped breathing through my nose, expecting a horrendous
smell, but was instead greeted with a mixture of herbal scents. Underneath you
could still smell the sharp antiseptic odor that I would have anticipated.
Covering it was a riot of different aromas, seemingly fighting each other for
dominance. Walking into the morgue it looked like I had stepped into a
greenhouse. There were plants all over the room. In the middle of the room was
a table with a body on it and standing over him was a woman wearing a long
flowing dress, her platinum blonde hair cascading down her back. There were a
multitude of bracelets running up her arms that clinked together with every
movement she made. She looked ethereal, like the ultimate hippy child. I will
admit that when Tomas had said the name Helena I had been expecting someone Goth
like and sullen. The look on Helena’s face was one of unmitigated joy and it
looked completely out of place in a funeral home. I hung back as Helena and
Tomas air kissed each other without actually touching. Tomas waved me forward.

“Helena, this is Trudie. She was a friend of Eric and she
just wanted to thank you for doing such an amazing job with him.”

I stepped forward and was immediately engulfed with the
scent of citrus and lavender.

“I should be thanking you” she gushed. “Eric has been so
wonderful to work with. His spirit is so calming. I could see he was a
beautiful soul. You must miss him dreadfully.”

I thought that missing him may have been an overstatement
and I was distracted by how friendly Helena was being. She continued her
talking, all the time stroking my hair.

“He is so beautiful. It was an honor to work on him, like
working on a Van Gogh.”

I looked at Tomas a little confused. Sure, Eric had been
gorgeous in life, I wasn’t going to deny that for a second. That being said,
despite my albeit brief glance at Eric on the morning he died, I was pretty
sure that beautiful did not exactly cover how he looked after death. I had also
recommended a closed casket, because I didn’t think Adele would be able to cope
with what had happened to Eric, and the aftermath. Helena pointed to the table
and I got my first glimpse of Eric.

“Holy cow” I blurted out because the Eric lying on the table
was not the one I saw in the bed three days ago.

I didn’t think that I had been traumatized that much, but my
memories of that morning had blood matting his hair and too much damage to ever
be seen again. Combined with the autopsy, I was sure there would be no way he
would have been presentable for an open casket. This Eric looked like he had
been sleeping and would get up at any moment. He had barely looked this healthy
when he was alive. I looked at Helena and Tomas dumbfounded.

“He looks amazing” I said.

Helena jumped up and down and clapped her hands. She then
gave me a quick hug and rushed out of the room.

I looked at Tomas. “Seriously, is this really him or is it
one of those wax dummies?”

Tomas nodded “It’s him. I’m telling you Helena is a genius.
I have brought her some really bad ones before and she seems to be able to fix
them up.” He coughed. “She is a little eccentric so we don’t usually let her
speak to the families, but she is a real artist, I mean you should have seen
the size of the hole in the side of his head.”

“What do you mean hole?” I asked.

“From the bullet.”

“Eric was shot?” I asked.

“Yes, went in the right temple with a nice little hole, came
out the left side with a hole the size of a golf ball. You didn’t know he was
shot?”

“No, I was only in the room for a few minutes when I found
the body. All I saw was a lot of blood on the pillow. Why would someone shoot
him but leave Adele alive?”

“Maybe Adele did it” Tomas offered.

“And then went to bed and fell asleep beside the dead body
of her husband” I said doubtfully. “I can’t see many people doing that, and I
have to say that I really don’t believe that Adele could be that callous or
crazy.”

Looking at Eric, I was simply amazed that he looked so good.
“Where exactly was he shot?” I asked Tomas.

Tomas looked at the head. “The bullet went in here” he said
as he pointed to the right temple. “And it looks like the bullet came out
here.”

“How can you tell?” I asked looking at where he was
pointing.

“If you look really closely you can see where Helena has
grafted on some hair from other parts of his head.”

I looked closely. No, I couldn’t see it. Helena was truly
gifted, but I would take Tomas’s word for it. Helena bustled back in the room.

“You have negative energy around you” she said as she waved
a burning incense stick in my direction. I looked at Tomas in panic. I’ll admit
the woman was an artist but she was beginning to worry me. Tomas stepped in
front of me and cut Helena off as she started chanting.

“Trudie is fine Helena” he said.

Helena kept chanting and waving the smoking stick at me. It
wasn’t a small stick either. This thing looked more like a tree branch with
greenery tied to the end of it. This greenery was on fire and was putting out a
lot of smoke. I could feel my eyes beginning to water. As I breathed in I
started coughing as the smoke went into my lungs. An alarm started blaring
loudly and another man came running into the room.

“For God’s sake Helena” he yelled as he grabbed the burning
stick and doused it in the nearest sink. “I’ve told you no burning things in
this room.”

He pulled out a small step ladder and turned off the smoke
alarm. Helena stamped her foot and pouted.

“I hate you” she said before storming off.

“Tomas, why do you let her do things like that?” the
newcomer said.

“Don’t blame me Rico,” Tomas said. “I was trying to stop
her. I thought you’d taken away anything that she could use to light a fire
after the last incident.”

“I did” Rico said morosely, “but it’s a full time job trying
to keep her from doing her earth witch thing.”

Rico turned his attention to me. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Not a problem” I said tears streaming down my face. I
gratefully accepted the tissue Tomas passed to me and started to wipe the tears
away. “I think she was trying to help me with some negative energy that I
have.”

“Do you really have negative energy?” Rico asked.

“Well in the last few months I’ve stumbled over a couple of
dead bodies and I’ve been shot. I’m guessing Helena was pretty much spot on
about the negative energy. Thinking about it, you may have stopped her a bit
early. I think I may need her to start up again, maybe with a burning tree
trunk.”

“Fine” said Rico, “but next time do it in your house.
Hopefully there’d be a few less ignition sources in there.”

I looked around and noticed the bottles of chemicals dotted
around the room, mostly obscured by the plant life that seemed to have taken
over the area.

“Getting your point” I said still dabbing at my eyes.
Turning to Tomas I asked, “Is there anything else that I need to do for
tomorrow?”

“No” said Tomas. “The viewing will happen first, the service
straight after. As it is only a small function we have tea and coffee and some
food in the reception room after the funeral. That should be everything.”

“Thank you so much” I said. “You have no idea how much this
has helped.”

“Oh by the way” said Tomas, “did you manage to find any
family that I need to talk to regarding any special requests.”

“Ah yes” I said looking at Tomas and Rico. “His mother won’t
be attending the funeral and doesn’t really have much of an interest in
anything happening with it.”

“Any reason?” asked Tomas.

“Other than her being the mother from hell, chances are she
will still be in jail tomorrow.”

“In jail?” Tomas queried.

“Yes, she didn’t take the news of Eric’s death and not
leaving her anything too well. Decided to take it out on a friend’s car with a
baseball bat. I’m pretty sure he decided to press charges.”

Tomas and Rico looked at me in shock. Tomas recovered first.

“Very well, in that case we go with standard service, no frills,
I’ll pass the information you gave me on to the funeral celebrant and we should
get it done easily.”

I felt a little bad that I was looking at Eric’s funeral as
something that I needed to get through with as little effort as possible. It
seemed wrong to me, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. I had tried to
find someone who would truly mourn for Eric but he obviously hadn’t led the
kind of life which provided for that. It wasn’t my fault I kept telling myself,
but there was still a part of me that felt guilty.

Sitting on my couch later in the evening that guilt was
still eating at me. My cell rang and I picked it up.

“Hey Trudie” Griffin said.

I smiled. “Hi Griffin.”

“I just wanted to see what you were doing this evening.”

“Just sitting on the couch trying to find a show that
doesn’t have me cringing at what people are willing to do for their fifteen
minutes of fame.”

“Not a fan of reality television?” Griffin asked.

“Not even close.”

“Thought you might be working at Adele’s house.”

“No, not tonight, I’ve got to go pick up something for Adele
but I think I’ll do it tomorrow after the funeral.”

“That’s good” Griffin said. “I was hoping to come over and
see you tonight but I’ve got work so I may see you tomorrow.”

“Okay” I said. “I’ll see you then. Be careful.”

“Thanks” said Griffin. “Sleep well. Wish I was with you.”

He hung up and I smiled. I had to admit it, I was enjoying
this, whatever it was with Griffin. I couldn’t really categorize it as a
relationship, but it was something. It was definitely something.

The next morning the sun was shining brightly as it usually
does in LA. Arriving at the funeral home early I found Tomas rushing around
organizing things.

“Is everything okay” I asked as I grabbed the massive vase
of flowers that he was trying to balance on top of a pile of paperwork.

”Everything is fine” he said nodding to Rico as he raced
past us.

“Are you sure?” I said. “You both look a little tense.”

“Tense?” queried Tomas.

“Yes, tense is the word that I’m going for” I said smiling.

“If you must know we’re not tense” he glared at me. “Helena
decided that the funeral we had planned today was not good enough for Eric and
that his spirit wasn’t at peace. She decided to perform a séance last night to
try to talk to him. She kind of made a bit of a mess but we are dealing with
it.”

Inwardly I groaned. Even dead, women were falling for Eric
and making my life difficult.

“What do you need me to do?” I said following
Tomas
into the room where Eric was now peacefully laid out in
a coffin. Next to him was a chalked circle on the floor with all kinds of
symbols written on it and melted wax candles.

“What was she trying to do?” I groaned.

“How the hell should I know” Tomas growled obviously past
the time when he should have had his morning coffee. “She thinks his spirit is
not at rest for some reason.”

“Maybe the fact he was murdered” I ventured as I got down on
my knees to try to scrape some of the melted wax off the floor.”

“She keeps going on about him having a beautiful spirit.”

I wondered if she meant that metaphorically. The Eric I knew
had a beautiful body. Spirit though, that was a little less attractive. I
reached into my bag and found the small Swiss Army knife my brother had given
me when I left home and pulled out the blade to start scraping the worst of the
wax off the floor. Tomas looked at me dumbfounded.

“What?” I asked.

“You have a knife in your bag” he
said
quietly.

“I have a Swiss Army knife, it is a tool. See, it even has
tweezers” I said pulling out the tiny tweezers and waving them around.

“In case you have a hair plucking emergency” Tomas ventured.

“In my line of work you would be amazed at what I am
required to do at times” I grumbled. “For example at times I am required to be
on my hands and knees next to the coffin of my employer’s murdered husband,
while scraping the candle wax off the wood floor from the séance performed by
the funeral cosmetologist, who has developed a somewhat disturbing attachment
to the dead husband.”

Tomas stared. “Point taken,” he said as he went back to
washing away the chalk marks on the floor.

Rico walked in. “I am going to fire her” he growled.

“No you’re not” said Tomas.

“What if the family finds out?”

“I’ve met the family and frankly as long as Helena was able
to get some bank account details out of him they’d be cheering her on” I said
still concentrating on the wax.

Rico’s exasperation at the situation was obvious to both
Tomas and myself. He sat down heavily on the ground just watching Tomas and I
as we continued to clean the floor.

“I don’t know what to do with her” he said quietly. “I
promised our parents I’d take care of her, but if she starts destroying the
business I’m going to have to do something.”

Tomas leaned over and put his arm around Rico’s shoulder.

“We can deal with that later. For now we clean up and get
this funeral done to the best of our ability. She didn’t do anything illegal,
just thoughtless. That’s fine, thoughtless we can deal with. Trudie’s here and
she is going to help us.”

I nodded encouragingly as I kept working.

“We can pull this off Rico, we just need to work together.”
Tomas squeezed Rico’s shoulder encouragingly and I could see Rico’s resolve
strengthen.

“Thanks” he said, “and thank you Trudie. You shouldn’t have
to do this.”

I waved. “Not a problem, we’ll have this sorted in no time.
One question though, where is Helena now?”

“My aunt is taking care of her for me. She was pretty tired
out after last night” he gestured to the mess around us.

Tomas and I went back to work while Rico continued rushing
around. Within a half hour we had managed to clean away the chalk residue,
candle wax and some substances which I didn’t look at too closely, until the
original deep brown floorboards shone through. Putting out the chairs I was
surprised to see Griffin in the doorway dressed in a dark suit that highlighted
the breadth of his shoulders. In that moment I decided that as much as I liked
Griffin in jeans, I really liked him in a suit. I smiled at him but was
surprised when I didn’t get an answering smile back.

“What are you doing here?” he blurted out.

“I’m working” I said shortly, a little confused by his
greeting. Admittedly I hadn’t been expecting him to sweep me into his arms and
give me a passionate kiss, especially with Eric’s corpse lying only meters
away. But I had hoped we’d progressed to a much better greeting than that.

“It’s just that the funeral doesn’t start for another hour”
he said. “I expected you to be helping with preparing Adele.”

“Miranda and Elliot Powell are taking care of Adele. My job
was to organize the funeral and I just came to help Tomas and Rico.”

“Oh” Griffin said.

“Now that we’ve established why I’m here” I said slowly,
“why are you here?”

“Cops always attend the funeral” Griffin said hurriedly. “It
is a murder after all.”

“You think the murderer will come to the funeral?” I asked.

“Never know” Griffin said.

We looked at each other in an awkward silence for a second.
Tomas poked his head around the door, frowned at the incredibly tense scene
before him, and cleared his throat.

“Trudie, could you give me a hand in the reception area. We
have a couple of small issues, teeny issues really, and I just need your
input.”

“Sure” I said slowly.

Tomas looked at Griffin. “Rico doesn’t like people walking
around before the funeral” he said. You’ll have to go.”

Griffin looked strangely reluctant to leave.

“Griffin’s fine” I said. “He’s with me. He won’t do anything
he shouldn’t.”

“As long as you’re sure” Tomas said.

“Absolutely” I smiled. “He won’t touch a thing.”

Tomas nodded before heading off.

“You’re okay here?” I asked Griffin.

“I’ll just have a look around, get a bit or an idea about
the place before the funeral starts” Griffin answered.

I nodded and followed Tomas out the door. We almost ran into
Griffin’s partner, Ramos, who as usual looked like she had just stepped off of
a catwalk runway.

“He’s in there” I indicated with my head the room we had
just left.

“Thanks Trudie” Ramos smiled as she walked past.

Well at least she was acting normally. Tomas looked at me
quizzically.

“What was that all about?”

“I truly don’t know” I said. “They’re the cops investigating
Eric’s murder.”

“Things seemed a bit tense back there” Tomas ventured. “You
and the big cop have something going on?”

“Something” I said distractedly.

Griffin had acted strangely. Unfortunately I had no time to
ponder the way he was acting as the next hour saw Tomas, Rico and I working
solidly to put this funeral service together. By the time Adele arrived with
the Powells, the funeral home looked elegant and subdued. The remnants of
Helena’s attempts to provide peace to Eric’s restless spirit were nowhere to be
seen. Neither were Griffin or Ramos for that matter. I hadn’t seen them since
the awkward interlude in the service room and if I hadn’t been so busy I would
have been curious to speak to Griffin about what was happening with Eric’s
case.