NOT What I Was Expecting (14 page)

“Fry’s here,” I
said.  “It says
‘waiting for you by Luke’s ride in the parking lot,
’” I
read to Luke.

“Good, let’s go.” 
Luke jumped up and grabbed the check the waitress had left on the table at her
last visit.  We walked out into the dusky evening, which would have been darker
without the streetlights that lit up the sidewalks and parking lot as if we
were in daylight.

As we approached
the parking lot, we saw Fry laid out flat on his back with his arms and legs
sprawled in all directions on top of Luke’s Kia.  Luke looked at me
questioningly. 

“I have no idea,”
I said.  When we reached the car I almost felt like I shouldn’t disturb him. 
Oh, well.  “Fry, what are you doing?” I asked.

 “Star gazing, my
friend, star gazing.  It’s very freeing,” Fry said blissfully. 

“Has there ever
been a moment in your life that you didn’t feel free?” I asked. 

Fry considered
that a moment.  “Probably not,” he admitted and slid off of the roof to join
us.

“I really
appreciate this, Fry,” Luke said as he watched Fry land on his feet.  “Are you
sure you don’t mind hanging around down here for a few days and blowing off
whatever you have going on back home?” 

“No can do, Luke,”
said Fry.  “You know you can always count on me, man, but I actually came here
to give you the key to Serge’s place and tell you I have to be getting back to
Oakman.” 

“What?” I asked,
“What do you mean?”

“See,” Luke said.  “I
knew he couldn’t just drop everything at a moment’s notice.”

Since we both
spoke at the same time, Fry looked at me, then Luke, then back at me.  He
smiled as he tried to decide who to address first.  “Kids, kids, kids,” he
began.  “Just listen to Uncle Fry for a minute.  I was on the phone with CeCe
most of the way here, and we have strategized a plan.  Strategized — is that a
word?  Oh well, if it wasn’t, it is now.  Here’s the deal.  The local
constabulary, that’s the officers of the law Maggie since you don’t watch the
BBC, have decided it’s necessary to routinely monitor the movements of one
Fritz Everhaas, a.k.a. me.  Apparently, they’ve noticed Luke is a no-show, and
they’ve been told by his crew at the library expansion site that I’m the only
person he’s been seen hanging around with in town.  For that reason, I’m
understandably popular, so it would be a big no-no for me to go AWOL at this
time.”

Luke and I were
standing there listening and neither of us made any sounds of interrupting, but
Fry kept pausing to give us the chance to jump in.  I think we were at a loss
as to how to respond at the moment.

“So,” Fry
continued, when it became apparent we had nothing, “CeCe and I decided Maggie
will stay with you down here in Serge’s pad.  She will be your witness should
the unthinkable happen and another Oakmanite happen to turn up murdered.  Also,
Maggie, as you pointed out when you asked me about this gig, Luke needs someone
to talk him through everything he can think of to try to connect Barney’s and
Eliza’s murders.  If the sheriff’s department isn’t looking in the right place,
we might have to steer them in the correct direction.  That is, of course, if
we have a clue where that direction might be, which at the moment we do not.”

Fry stood and
stared at us for a while, but I think Luke and I were trying to figure out how
to tell him this was a bad idea.

“Sounds good,”
Luke said.

Now, I backed up
so I could share my disbelieving look with Fry and Luke simultaneously.  “How
can you say that?” I asked Luke.  “You’re the one who said you thought you’d be
better off with some alone time to try to figure this whole thing out.”

“Ah, yes, but you
made the excellent argument that a sounding board would probably work so much
better, and I can still have some time alone, when you go to the market, or for
a walk, or whatever,” Luke said, brazenly throwing my words back in my face.

“Okay, but wait,”
I tried to rally.  “You didn’t want anyone to change their plans, and
truthfully, I don’t mind staying to help.  The thing is, it’s so unfair to
CeCe, because we are partners, you know.  I can’t just tell her to handle
everything until I’m ready to come back.”

“No worries,
Mags,” Fry assured me, all helpful and annoying.  “CeCe and I have the shop
covered.”

“Awesome.  Fry,
how did you get here if you’re being watched or tailed or whatever you said,” I
asked.

“Oh, I can get
away from them if I need to,” Fry said a little too proudly.  “CeCe and I
decided we’d rather the investigators monitor me.  Besides, they aren’t so much
following me as popping up from time to time, which is fun for me.  That’s why
I didn’t bring my car or my cell phone when I came down here.  I’m staying in
Oakman so that when they want to find out what I’m doing, I’ll be right there
doing my usual nothing.  In fact, CeCe and I will actually be keeping an eye on
them as they keep an eye on me, if you can follow that.”

“Maggie, you
really don’t have to stay,” Luke said smiling at me all charming and sweet.  “I
was just having some fun at your expense, but I know you’re busy and the truth
is, I can make sure I’m seen regularly around here to cover my whereabouts.”

That is so
unfair.  I don’t want him to be blamed for his Uncle Barney’s death.  Of course
I want to help him.  At some point, I want to get to know him better.  I might
possibly want to have his babies someday.  That doesn’t change the fact that I
was still hoping to make a good impression on him sometime in the near future. 
Somehow I don’t think him seeing me with bedhair when I stagger into the
kitchen before I’ve had my coffee is going to move me closer to that goal. 

“No, no, no, no,
no,” I said, just to make sure they caught that.  “I meant what I told you
earlier, those were excellent reasons then, they’re excellent reasons now, and
I already know where Serge’s place is, so it’s settled.  Fry, thanks for
bringing us the key, but you should probably get back before the ‘local
constabulary’ misses you too much.”

“Don’t mock me,
woman,” Fry said as he gave me a hug.  “Now, let me take care of a little
business, and I’ll be on my way.  These are antibiotic eye drops for your eye,
better safe than sorry, so please use,” Fry explained as he pulled a tiny
prescription bottle out of his pocket and handed it to Luke.  “Stubby’s sending
a couple of his guys out to my fishing camp to get your car, Maggie, which they
will park at your house for the entire world to see.  We’re telling the sisters
you’re under the weather, you lost your voice, so they can’t call, and the doc
says you’re highly contagious for a few days to a week, so no visits.”

Fry then reached
into his jacket pocket and pulled out a set of car keys.  “These are the keys
to a loaner, perfectly legal, little, blue Fiesta right over there,” Fry
advised us as he indicated a car parked a few spaces down from Luke’s.  “Looks
nothing like your SUV, which I’m driving to Stubby’s and parking in his
warehouse/garage where it’ll be out of the way and the public eye. 

“Seriously, Fry?”
Luke asked, looking at the little blue car.  “Look, thanks for all this,
really.  I know you went to a lot of trouble.  I’m not even sure how you got
prescription eyedrops, and I probably don’t want to know, but I appreciate
everything you’ve done for me.  I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but do you
really think this is necessary?  There are a lot of dark SUV’s running around. 
I’m not sure mine would be all that conspicuous.  What color is that little
Ford anyway?  It looks like a jellybean.”

“Oooh, so close,
Luke,” Fry joked, as he slipped into his very mellow game show host voice. 
“The phrase we were looking for was blue candy.  We would have accepted either
blue candy or candy blue.”  Fortunately, the game show host voice didn’t stay
long, and he switched back to speaking like the Fry we knew and loved.

“To address your
concerns, the eyedrops are good because I have a guy.  I don’t think it’s
necessary for your car to disappear today.  I think it’s very possible it will
be a good idea for your car to lay low in the immediate future, and I can’t
necessarily ditch my shadow any time I need to make sure things are covered on
this end,” Fry explained calmly.

“Now, that’s
enough sass from the both of you,” Fry informed us.  “Mags, CeCe sent you this
wad of cash to get whatever you need while you’re here.  There’s some shampoo
and stuff at Serge’s place, but if you don’t like his you can get what need. 
Luke, I brought you some cash, because I’m floating you a loan, I have a
high-school-bud interest rate of 0%, so we’ll work that out when you get home. 
You’ll use the prescription eyedrops, you’ll ride in the blue jellybean, and
you’ll stay at Serge’s place for at least a couple of days.  See if you can
remember anything that might give us a direction to check out or to direct the
investigators.  Here’s a prepaid cell for you to use.  I’m taking your phone, and
I’ll leave it at Barney’s house which I now have the key to since I have your
keys.  It’s best if you don’t turn on your phone down here anyway.  Don’t want
my law enforcement bud locating you when he’s supposed to be focusing on The
Fry.”

Fry paused to take
a breath, looked from me to Luke, back to me and then Luke again.  I think he
was judging the possibility of leaving without having to hear any more
complaints from either of us.  “Okay, that should do it for me.  Questions,
comments, concerns, threats, bribes, or extortion attempts?  No?  Nothing? 
Great!  Then I wish you both Godspeed!”  I got another big Fry hug, and then he
turned to Luke.

“Later, Dude and
call whenever.  I mean that,” he said handing Luke the keys.

Luke and I stood
and watched as Fry removed Luke’s duffel and deposited it at Luke’s feet.  Then
Fry climbed into Luke’s vehicle, cranked the engine, gave us a wave as we stood
motionless, and sped off into the night.

When his dust was
nearly settled, Luke was the first to voice the obvious.

“Maggie,” Luke
said softly.  “How messed up does my life have to be for Fry to be the Take
Charge Guy and Voice of Reason?”

“I’d have to say
somewhere around extremely,” I said honestly.

“Wow.  No
waffling, hesitation, or words of encouragement,” Luke noticed out loud. 
“That’s harsh.”

“Awkward,” I
admitted.  “C’mon,” I said as I removed the keys from Luke’s still motionless
outstretched hand.  “Let’s go check out Serge’s cupboards and see what we need
before we make a market run.”

As we climbed into
the blue jellybean car Luke wanted to know, “Doesn’t seem right to stay in the guy’s
place and repay his hospitality by using the stuff in his cupboards, does it? 
I guess we can keep a list of everything we use and replace it.”

I laughed, “I
guess we didn’t tell you about Fry’s arrangement, did we?  Well then, yeah, it
would seem kind of rude.  Actually, Serge loves it when Fry spends time there
while he’s away.  Serge always has something in the way of supplies, but it
varies.  When he leaves town, he makes a list of what he’d like when he gets
back along with the date he’ll be back in town.  If Fry goes to Serge’s anytime
he’s away, he picks up the list.  Then, just before Serge returns, Fry stocks
Serge’s place with his requests.  Serge comes home all tired and burnt out from
traveling, and all his favorites are fresh and waiting for him.”

I pulled into the
designated parking slot for Serge’s apartment.  Serge didn’t own a car, so he
had one of the few unused parking spots in the French Quarter.  The apartment’s
decal had to be visible through the windshield or the car would be towed, so I
ran up to Serge’s second floor apartment to grab his parking hang tag while
Luke guarded the blue jellybean car.

CHAPTER 10

Once I returned
with the priceless parking tag, Luke followed me back up the stairs to Serge’s
place.  As we climbed I informed Luke, “You should like this place.  It’s
small, but it’s full of man toys.” 

“Really?” Luke asked
with a little gleam in his eye.  He obviously liked the sound of that. 

“Third door on the
left,” I said as we entered the second floor hallway.  One step into the
apartment foyer, and we were hit with the scent of vanilla.  Luke gave me a
raised eyebrow look.  “He has a cleaning lady, okay?” I said defensively. 

“Fine, fine,” Luke
allowed, looking around.  “It just surprised me after the man toy comment.”

Directly off the
foyer to the left was the dining area, which led into the kitchen.  If you
chose to go right from the foyer, you’d find yourself in the living room.  A doorway
off the living area opened into a hall that led back to the bedrooms with one
bedroom on each side and the only bathroom situated between them at the end of
the hall. 

Luke let out a
whistle when he walked into the dark green and brown leather living room.  “What?”
I asked. 

“You weren’t
kidding,” he said.  I saw he was drooling over the collection of gaming devices
next to the TV.  I recognized one as a Wii, but the other five or six didn’t
look familiar.  Not surprising, since video games are not my idea of a good
time.

I crossed to the
living room window to check out the court yard.  Luke walked up behind me, but
I didn’t hear him until he cleared his throat.  That made me jump nearly a foot
high and make some weird “AHGAHG” sound that probably made him want me really
bad.

“Sorry, Maggie,”
Luke apologized.  “I didn’t mean to scare you.  I didn’t think I was sneaking
up on you.”

“It’s okay, I
guess my mind was elsewhere, and I didn’t hear you,” I said to let him off the
hook.  I really did think I was way too jumpy at the moment, so I needed to
make myself chill a little.  I just wasn’t sure how.

Luke interrupted
my thoughts by observing, “They have an impressive garden in the courtyard
here.  I wonder who keeps it up.”

“Yeah, taking care
of all those flowers must be quite a job.  I love how they have it all lit up
at night with those tiny white lights.  Spectacular,” I observed.

“It’s really cool
that there’s one of those outdoor fireplaces and chairs out there on the
balcony,” Luke said turning to me with a big smile, “And did you see the size
of the TV?” he turned and pointed at the object of his affection.  “I
need
one like that.”

I had to laugh at
him grinning like a little boy.

“What?” Luke asked
defensively. 

“Nothing,
nothing,” I smiled, keeping my little boy observation to myself. 

Luke followed me
into the dining area as we checked out the supplies.  “Serge is definitely
fully equipped,” I pointed out.  “I know there’s a lap top in that big drawer
by the bar if we need it.  I can tell you from personal experience that the
best place to use the laptop is in the recliner.”   Answering Luke’s puzzled
expression, I added, “It’s one of those heated massage chairs.”

Luke’s mouth
dropped open briefly, and then he was gone.  That was okay.  I knew where to
find him.

While Luke was
getting a massage and watching one of the Star Wars movies in surround sound, I
took a few minutes to check out the bathroom and kitchen.  I found bottled
water and beer in the kitchen.  The bathroom was fully loaded with toiletry
items, guy scents of course, and even an unopened toothbrush. 

I walked down the
hall and was about to enter the living room, but found I had a great vantage
point for observing Luke while all of his attention was absorbed by the movie
he was watching.  This new calm allowed me to take him in a little
differently.  His short, light brown hair was styled, so it definitely had a
little gel or something in it.  It was so glossy and soft looking I knew it
wouldn’t feel prickly.  Smooth, tanned skin, not extremely hairy anywhere other
than his head (a plus in my book), beautiful brown eyes, long thick lashes,
long arms and legs that matched his 6' 2" frame.  That grin of his could
go from sweet to wicked in the blink of an eye.  When I noticed Luke was
looking at me, it made me wonder how long I’d been looking at him.  Uh oh, this
was probably a good time for a diversionary tactic. 

“I was going to
let you know I checked out the stash of supplies here, and I think I’ll be fine
to wait until tomorrow to shop.  At least, I will be if I can borrow a t-shirt
from you to sleep in tonight?  Everything else I need Serge already has
stocked,” I explained.

“Sure, sure,
sure.  You can borrow a t-shirt,” Luke agreed.  “Are you hungry?  How does the
kitchen look?”

“Well, there’s
beer and some bottled water.  Unless you can make something out of a bunch of
condiments,” I told him, “there’s nothing to eat, but I’m not really hungry. 
We could order pizza or run get you something if you like?”

“Nah, I’m pretty
beat and not really that hungry either.  It’s been kind of a weird day.  I
think I’ll just put in more of Fry’s eyedrops and call it a day.  I’ll go get
you a shirt, though.”

Luke returned with
a dark blue t-shirt that he lightly tossed to me.  I held it up.  It said, “
Farming
is cool.
”  I smiled at the message, thanked him for the loan, and told him
I’d see him in the morning.

“Sleep well,
Maggie,” Luke said as he started to close his door across the hall from my
room.  He stopped and added, “Oh, and Maggie, thanks for agreeing to stay.  I
really don’t think it was necessary, but I want you to know I do appreciate
it.”

“Oh, uh, no
problem,” I responded, since he caught me off guard, and I couldn’t think of
anything clever or meaningful to say.

After I took a
quick bath, brushed my teeth, and slipped into Luke’s pro-farming shirt, I
decided to use my time wisely.  I figured I was going to have trouble falling
asleep after this strange day, so I should make a plan.  I climbed into bed,
tested both pillows to see which I liked best, turned off the bedside lamp, and
made myself comfortable.  Now it was time to strategize, to use Fry’s new word (which
was already a word for everybody else).

I woke to the
sound of bird’s chirping outside my window and the sun shining so brightly I
knew it wasn’t exactly the break of dawn.  Aw, crap!  No wonder I’ve never done
anything ingenious like made some kind of scientific breakthrough or
something.  If I fall asleep every time I try to be profound, that explains
it.  I turned to look at the bedside clock and saw that it was 9:37 in the
morning.  I was going to fuss at myself in my mind a little longer, but I
worried I’d fall back asleep.  I eased out of bed before that could happen.

I quickly slipped
on my clothes and quietly opened my door so I wouldn’t disturb Luke if he was
still sleeping across the hall.  I needn’t have worried, since his door was
open, his bed was made, and I smelled coffee.  I slipped into the bathroom,
washed up, and applied the limited makeup I had in my purse. 

I followed the
coffee scent and found Luke was sitting at the dining table with coffee and a
newspaper.  “Where did you find the coffee?” I asked excitedly.  It smelled
soooo good. 

“Good morning to
you too,” he said with a smile. 

“Oh, sorry,” I smiled
sheepishly blushing a little.  “Good morning.” 

“I decided to
wander a little since you were still sleeping and see what’s close by,” he
explained.  “I found a little food mart on the next street, so I picked up some
coffee and donuts.”

“Wow,” I gushed.  I
couldn’t help it.  I hadn’t been awake long enough to be able to play it cool. 
“How long have you been up?”

“Only a couple of hours. 
I usually get up around 5:00, but I didn’t wake up until 7:00 this morning,” he
elaborated while looking a little embarrassed for having to admit he was such a
slacker and slept in this morning.

So what did that
make me?  I decided to point out my take on the whole sleeping business.  “Yeah
well, I don’t usually get up
that
early, but I’m up way before this.  CeCe
and I open the shop every morning except Sunday.  Yesterday was kind of
eventful and very stressful, mostly for you, but I’m thinking the whole weird,
unsettling feeling probably contributed to disrupting your bodies normal sleep
schedule.”  I was creaming and artificially sugaring my coffee while I
enlightened him on my theory.  When I decided the coffee met my standards, I
joined Luke at the table.

“That’s an
interesting diagnosis, Dr. Maggie,” Luke said with a smile.  “Now for your next
caller we have Henrietta from Heck-of-a-bad-marriage.  Go ahead Henrietta, the
doctor is listening.”

“Now see,
sometimes – and I’m not sure why this is – but sometimes I get the feeling you
don’t really want my help,” I told Luke matching him smile for smile.

“No, no, no,” Luke
said shaking his head.  “I just like giving you a hard time, but the truth is I
was hoping to talk to you about Uncle Barney.  It can wait until you’ve had
your coffee if you like.”

“Nope,” I shook my
head and gave him the thumbs up.  “The doctor is in, so go.”

“Well, I was
thinking about the stuff I mentioned in the car, and the fact that you said
very little, but made me realize something.  I guess I’m hoping we can try that
again,” he announced.  “Oh wait – not necessarily the ‘you saying very little part.’ 
I mean, you can say whatever . . . ,” Luke gave his head a slight shake as if
that might help him out of the hole he’d stepped into.

I knew what he
meant and wasn’t offended by his statement, so I decided to let him off the
hook.  I had coffee and was feeling generous.

“I get your
meaning, and its fine.  People in my profession have to make allowances for our
patients saying things like that all the time.  Go ahead,” I encouraged with a
smile.

Luke smiled, gave
me a ‘thanks’ nod, and went on.  “If I tell you the entire story, everything
Uncle Barney said to me about Ms. Eliza or at least everything I can remember,
I’m hoping you can help me find something I’m missing.”

“Let’s try it,” I
said feeling a little pressure, because I didn’t want to miss anything
important and let him down.  “What are some of the things he said about her? 
Especially lately, I guess.  Just tell me what stands out in your memory.”

Luke got up and
walked over to pour another cup of coffee as he tried to organize his thoughts. 
When he started back toward the table, he began, “Uncle Barney would usually
refer to her as Monday.  I’m not sure if it was easier for him to keep his
regular lady friends straight by using the days he saw them instead of their
names,” with a chuckle he added, “or maybe he was just bragging to me that he
had a special woman for every day of the week.”  Luke smiled at the memory.

That made me smile
too.

“He loved her
coffee cake,” Luke continued.  “He’s used words like lively and firecracker to
describe her.  She was his favorite lady, I know that.  He’d always say Monday
was his favorite.  That she looked up to him, admired him, so I guess there was
a bond there.  It was clear to me that he thought a lot of her.  It was all
pretty normal stuff up until the last time he went to see her.  That’s when I
began to worry that he was becoming delusional instead of just disoriented or
confused.”

Luke stopped for a
second, and I could see how painful it was for him to recount the story.  I
could practically hear his thoughts and felt sure he blamed himself for not
doing something to prevent what happened to Barney.

“I stopped by the
house to grab a sandwich before I headed over to the library when I got back
from my trip to Lafayette that morning,” he described quietly.  “Uncle Barney
came in, and he was so upset it took me a while to get him calmed down.  He
said he’d just come from Monday’s – you know, Ms. Eliza’s.  Now that I think
about it, I’m wondering if he walked around getting madder for a few hours.  I
know he usually went to her place around ten in the morning, and it was after
one in the afternoon before I got back to town.  I was rushing through my
sandwich until he came in, and I heard the front door slam.  He came stomping
into the kitchen.  He was spitting mad and making no sense at all.” 

“He said he
knocked and rang her doorbell at the usual time, but she didn’t answer.  He
looked around for a note, but there was nothing.  He was pretty put out and
started to leave when it crossed his mind that maybe she was hurt, sick, or
just had her TV too loud and didn’t hear him.  He started walking around the
house checking for an unlocked window to crawl in and check on her.  When he
got around to the kitchen window he saw Eliza sitting at the dining table with
her back to him.  He said that Hoss and Little Joe were in there with her, and
he was pretty mad about it.  He said he knew she liked Hoss and Little Joe
because they’d watched Bonanza together often, but he never thought she’d give
them the coffee cake she had made for him.”

Luke began rubbing
his temples as if trying to make sense of this.  “I asked him why he didn’t
just knock on the window to get her attention and find out what was going on,”
he continued.  “He said that if she’d wanted to see him she would have answered
the door.  He felt she had made her choice and preferred Hoss and Little Joe to
him.  He was still mad, but said he was staying home for the rest of the day
when I returned to the library.

“By the time I got
home from work Monday evening, he was kind of sulking but not as angry as he
had been,” Luke went on.  “He didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and he was
much calmer.  I think I decided that at least some portion, if not all, of that
story wasn’t real, and that I should probably just watch him to make sure he
wasn’t seeing things everywhere all the time.  I assumed he’d patch things up
with Ms. Eliza, and everything would go back to normal.  I knew that every now
and then he would say some crazy sounding stuff, and then a minute later he’d
be his old self again.  I didn’t really take the Bonanza rant as anything to
worry about.  That afternoon, her cleaning lady found Eliza’s body, but we
didn’t hear about it until the next day.  I found out on the job at the library,
and I remembered her name even though Uncle Barney seldom used it.  When I went
home that night, I told Barney.  He’d been working in his garden all day,
cancelled on his Tuesday lady friend, and hadn’t left the house or listened to
any news.  I tried to ask him about his trip to Eliza’s house Monday, but he
looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about and told me he didn’t
remember going to her house the day before.”