Nothin' But Trouble (11 page)

“I
can smell how much you want me, Lilly, and if I don’t get this out now I know
that I won’t be able to later.” He leaned in an inch, and she surprised herself
by staying right where she was.

“Why
won’t you be able to talk to me later?” Those words left her on a low rush of
air, and she couldn’t think of why she would ask him that. He leaned in another
inch, so close now that she could smell his warm, minty breath that was lightly
laced with the scent of hops.

“Because
I’ll be taking you like I did all those years ago, but this time I won’t run
away because I was too fucking afraid of how I felt for you, and worried about
what would happen between Roan and me.” She sucked in a deep breath and slowly
released it. “And I was scared, Lilly, but not just about how I thought it
would ruin my friendship with Roan, but because I was afraid of the way my bear
wanted you just as much as my human side did.” Before she could say anything he
had his mouth on hers. He was gentle and coaxing and didn’t try to rush her. He
cupped the uninjured side of her face once more and tilted her head to the side
so he could deepen the kiss. The feeling of him stroking her tongue with his, and
moving that thick muscle along the inside of her mouth until she felt like a
warm puddle before him, had her softly moaning against his lips. He broke the
kiss far too soon, and she forced her eyes open.

“I
could kiss you all night, but I want to continue talking, Lilly.”

She
nodded and licked her lips, tasting him on her mouth. “Okay.” He leaned in and
softly kissed her this time with no tongue. When he pulled away there was so
much emotion on his face that it was hard for her to breathe, given how
strongly it filled the air between them.

He
smoothed his hand along her cheek, and that spark of arousal was still there,
although it was pushed aside when this serious look crossed his face. “After
that I immersed myself in fixing anything with wheels. I distanced myself from
Roan, feeling like a worthless bastard because I felt I betrayed him by being
with you.” She had assumed as much. “It was hard staying away, and over time
Roan and I just went our separate ways. Your mom got sick, and you both had so
much on your plates.”

She
remembered him coming by when they first found out her mom had cancer. They
hadn’t spoken, and at that time it had been such a long time since everything
had gone down that being in his presence had been just awkward.

“It
was hard having you pull away like that, but I knew it was because you thought
we had done was wrong. There was a part of me that had felt that I had betrayed
Roan, too.”
 
She looked down at her lap,
about to admit to him what she hadn’t told anyone. “I knew doing anything with
you would have repercussions, and knew you’d probably never look at me the same
way again.” She looked at him. “But I never thought it would ruin your
relationship with my brother. For that I am truly sorry. It is
all my
fault, because I could have stopped it, but I didn’t.
I was selfish, Court.”

He
shook his head and leaned in to kiss her again.

“No,
baby, none of this was your fault. You were so young. I was the one that knew
better, but I wanted you so damn badly.” He kissed her again, and again, and
soon they were locked in an intimate embrace, and the past was pushed aside as
their desire for each other rose to an uncontrollable level.

She
moved closer and pressed her breasts to the hardness of his muscular chest. She
was sore, but he was easy and soft as he ran his hands up her sides, and over
her breasts. But there was a hesitance in him, and she just knew that they
wouldn’t go as far as she wanted them to, at least not tonight. That was okay
because after waiting so long she wasn’t in a rush to end this. She wanted to
go slow and easy, and take her time. But on the heels of that thought she
pulled back and looked into his face.

“What’s
wrong, baby? Am I going too fast? Being too rough?”

She
smiled and shook her head. Heck, they weren’t going fast enough, but she knew
there wasn’t any rush in being with him. “No. I just don’t know where we stand.
I mean, I haven’t told Roan about us yet, although I know he isn’t stupid and
has already figured it out.”

“I
should have told him the moment it happened, and I should have told him that I
cared about you, but my ignorance hurt the both of you. I lost out on time with
you and getting to know you on a level that wasn’t because you were Roan’s
little sister.” He smiled at her, and it broke her heart at how much he seemed
like he was in pain. “But I also lost five years with a man that I care for
like a brother. I was blinded by my own selfishness, but I want to rectify
that, now.” He pulled her into a hug, but she didn’t resist. They both needed
the comfort.

 
For several minutes all he did was hold
her,
and Lilly closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of
being surrounded by Court. “This is nice.”

“Yeah,
it really is.” He pulled her back enough so that he could look in her face.
“I’m going to make this right. I’m going to talk to Roan, explain everything to
him, and tell him that you’re the one I want.” He cupped each side of her face,
more gently on the wounded side, and stared right into her eyes. “I want
you
, Lilly, and I don’t want to hide
behind what I think may or may not happen.”

She
couldn’t agree more, and even though this whole situation and Court’s
revelation felt like it had just been dropped in her life, she drew comfort in
the knowledge that she hadn’t been the only one that had been thinking of him
all these years.

“I’m
not looking to rush into anything, because I have all the time to get back to
where things were. My life isn’t how it used to be. I live the MC lifestyle, do
things that you may not agree with, because others sure as fuck don’t, but at
the end of all that I want you, baby. I want you by my side. Do you want that,
Lilly, to be by my side, to be my old lady?” It didn’t take her long to answer,
but she knew before she even said the words that he had sensed her intentions
by the grin he gave her.

“You
know that’s what I want, what I’ve always wanted.” She swore she saw the
presence of his bear flash across his face, and even watched the way his pupils
dilated and his irises turned black. A low rumble left him, and he pulled her
into his arms, and then positioned them so they were lying on the bed facing
each other. Once situated with her back to his chest and the heavy weight of
his arm resting on her thigh, she closed her eyes, and for the first time in
what felt like forever, she realized that this was what happiness felt like.
She supposed she must not have realized how big the impact of being with the
guy she loved was until she had lost out on time with him. It was in the form
of a big, bear shifting biker that had been gone from her life for so long, yet
at the same time he was so close. It was also the way she felt this inner
peace, like she had finally found what she had been missing, and what she had
been searching for. Only time would tell on how everything would play out, or
how Roan would react. There was the fear that her brother would most definitely
be angry and feel betrayed, but not just because of what she and Court had
done, but of all the time lost with his once best friend.

“Get
some sleep, baby.” And it was as if his voice, those words, and the gentle,
coaxing feeling of his hand moving up and down her back, had been the trigger
she needed. Lilly closed her eyes and let the peacefulness of
sleep,
and the presence of her big, burly bear biker, lead
her into oblivion.

Chapter
Seven

Lilly
looked at her brother and then turned her attention to Court. They were both
sitting in the chairs across from the couch, which was where she was currently
sitting. Her mom had insisted on going to a church function, and they wouldn’t
be picking her up for a few hours, so she thought now was as good a time as any
to bring
all of this
out in the open.

Roan
leaned back in the chair and looked between the two of them, and then scrubbed
a hand over his jaw. This was the first day he had off in longer than she could
remember, and just looking into his face she could see how much he had aged. She
saw the dark circles under his eyes because he hadn’t gotten enough sleep.
There was several day old
scruff
covering his jaw, and
Lilly regretted even bringing any of this up, but it had been kept in the dark
for long enough. It had been a couple of days since Court had been to her room
and they had talked about their feelings. But she had talked to him every day
since then, whether it was on the phone or when he came by the house. It was
still a little strange having him in the house, but a lot of that time was him
catching up with Roan. Their mother had been around each time he was there, so
bringing up the fact Court had taken her virginity all those years ago was a
little TMI for her mom, or so Lilly assumed.

“So
all of this distance, and slowly moving further away from our friendship was
because you slept with Lilly at a field party and thought it was a betrayal to
me?”

Court
cleared his throat and nodded. He looked stiff and uncomfortable, and exactly
how she felt.

“Yeah,
but it wasn’t just that?”

Roan
lifted a brow and stared at Court. “No? You mean there is more? Like maybe how
you have feelings for Lilly, but have been too much of a coward to do anything
about it?”

Now
it was her turn to sit up straighter at Roan’s words. There wasn’t any anger in
her brother’s words, but there was a hint of challenge directed at Court. She
glanced at the big blond biker that she was falling harder for each and every
time she saw him.

“Yeah,
that’s also a big reason I stayed back. I was confused by my feelings for
Lilly, afraid that I had royally fucked up our friendship, and didn’t know how
to handle it besides running.” The room grew silent as Court admitted that to
Roan for the first time.

She
glanced at her brother, saw that his attention was fully on Court and waited to
see what would happen. It seemed like forever before Roan even moved in his
chair, but it couldn’t have been more than seconds.

“Damn,
Court. I have never known you to admit when you were wrong and fucked shit up.”

She
was sweaty as she glanced back and forth between the two men that she cared
about the most. Lilly didn’t know if she was waiting for them to attack each
other or what, but the room was hot and tension was running high inside of her.
Then her brother started chuckling and Court followed suit, and just like that
the tension drained and stunned confusion filled her. Roan leaned over and slapped
Court on the back.

“Since
I’ve known you there has only been this bad-ass bear that didn’t care what
anyone thought, kicked asses and asked questions later.”

Court
glanced away and scrubbed the back of his neck, but she saw the way he grinned.
Roan grinned, too, and although everything seemed okay on the outside, she felt
strange at how everything had progressed.

“So
we’re good, man?” Court asked, and although he outweighed Roan by a good fifty
pounds of muscle, they were equal in height. Roan had more of a lean, boxer’s
body, one of toned sinew. Court was just brute strength all the way around.

She
glanced down and saw the way Roan clenched his hands. She knew what was coming.
But before she could stop it, she saw Court’s face harden, and knew the bear
shifter was aware of what was about to go down. But he didn’t move, and when
Roan reared his hand back and slammed his fist into Court’s jaw, everything
around her stopped. A trail of blood slowly trickled down Court’s bottom lip
and chin, and he wiped it away with the back of his hand.

“Now
we’re good,” Roan said, and although there was a bite in his words, she didn’t
feel any animosity coming from her brother.

Would
Court attack Roan, and the two of them would be in a full out brawl in her
mother’s living room? But before she could say anything Court started chuckling
and rubbing his jaw.

“I
deserved that, and more.” He grinned, and thank God Roan did, too. Damn, was
this how guys “made up”? She could remember her fights with her girlfriends in
high school, and it had always been overly dramatic and drawn-out. There wasn’t
a punch to the face and things could be smooth again.

“Well,
I can’t really stay mad at you since you helped me with Lilly, and that goes a
long way in my book. But Court, man, you have to have known that if you just
came to me and told me how you felt for Lilly I would have been cool with it.”
But then this look covered Roan’s face, as if something just came to him, and
his cheeks became red. “Wait, you weren’t getting with her before that night,
right? You weren’t fucking my
underage
little sister, were you?” Roan curled his hands into fists again, but Court was
shaking his head.

“Fuck
no, man. I didn’t even see Lilly as anything but your kid sister until that
night at her graduation party.”

“I
don’t understand why that night made the difference?” Roan asked.

Court
sat back down, and it took her a second but she followed suit. He looked at
Roan, and after a minute he sighed and sat in the chair. “I don’t know why it
took that moment for me to realize that I wanted Lilly as something more. It
was just the time my bear rose up when it saw her and smelled her scent, and I
knew I was lost.” Court looked over at her, and there was so much raw emotion
that it was like she could feel him reaching across the space that separated
them and running his fingers over her cheek. “But I knew it was wrong. You and
I have a history, Roan, and I love you like a brother. It felt like I was
betraying you. And shit, she is ten years younger than me.”