Nothing But Time (27 page)

“I’d like the doctor’s assurances that Nathan wasn’t harmed at all,” he answered meeting her gaze
, his fears and worries clearly written there
.  “I’d
like to make certain that you are well, also.”

Unable to help herself, Kate reached out and squeezed his hand feeling the strong warmth of his skin under her chilled fingers.  She couldn’t imagine that he was aware of his actions when he took her ic
y hand between his two and chaf
ed it to warm her.

Catching his sister’s eye, Kate pulled her hand away slowly.  It wouldn’t do give credence to rumors before they even had a chance to begin!

“I can never t
hank you enough, Miss Kallastad.
”
Susan spoke at last, her voice tight with emotion.  “
You acted without thought for your own safety to save my son.”

“It was nothing,” Kate waved her thanks away. 
“I’m sure you were about to do the same.”

A breathless huff escaped Mrs. Ralston.  “I fear I cannot swim at all.  I was terribly aware that all I might have provided my son was a quicker drowning.
  Thank God for your cool head.
”

“That’s me, Cool Kate.” 
Another sob escaped Nathan and Kate turned her attention to him.  “
Nathan, listen to me,” Kate said in a firm tone lifting his chin until his eyes met hers.  “
Don’t treat this as such a tragedy.  It was an accident and now it’s over.”

“But you could have died!”

A sad smile jerked at the corner of her mouth that his worry was not for his own demise but for hers.  “
People die all the time
, Nathan
.  You can’t worry and fret about it
.  It’s how the world works.  You cannot stop it but only hope that you’ve lived
life to the fullest before your time is up
and you move on
.
”

“To Heaven?”

“Perhaps.”

“Mama says that Papa has gone to Heaven,” Nate
sniffed
.  “Do you think when I go to Heaven I will see him there?”

“I don’t know, Nate,” Kate replied
, casting pleading looks at both Brand and Susan but neither came to her rescue in this instance
.  “Maybe you will but you can’t live your whole life waiting for that to happen.  Have you ever heard of the phrase
Carpe d
iem
?”  Nathan shook his head.  “It means seize the day.  Live in the now.  Don’t live in the past thinking what might have been or think about what will happen someday far in the future.  You’re
nine
years old and you have your entire life waiting for you to live it.”

“But I miss my Papa!”
he wailed.

“Oh, I miss mine, too, buddy.
”
Kate
reached out and
squeezed him tight with tears burning her eyes.  “But you can’t spend all your time missing him and he wouldn’t want you to
do
that either.  Neither would my dad.  He would expect me to face the facts and accept that he’s gone.  He’d expect me to get out there and live one hell of a life that
’s
worth living and I bet that’s what your Papa would want for you, too.”

Nate sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve.  “Do you really think so?”

“Dad
s only want you to be happy, Nate,” she assured him
,
unaware that tears were streaking down her cheeks
and Susan’s as well
.  “It’s what they do.  Life is unpredictable, you know.  No one will be around forever.  I know you’re only a kid, but you’ve learned that lesson the hard way already.  Someday,
maybe sooner than you’d want,
I’ll be gone or your mom or your Uncle Brand.  You never know when your time is up, right?”  He nodded
,
sniffling once again.  “You can’t live a real life when you’re worrying everyday that someone you love will be taken from you.  If I had drown
ed
today, I’d want to know that you’re not going to be sad forever, but that you’d go out there and live it up every
day.  Embrace the time you’ve got, all right?”

“All right.” 

Brand held a handkerchief out to her and Kate took it to wipe the boy’s face.  Looking up at Brand, Kate met his eyes and saw the pride and satisfaction in his gaze.

They reached Ramble House
in short order
and servants floode
d from the house to assist them.  T
aking Nathan in h
is
arms,
Brand carried his nephew away delivering clipped orders for
his care to Janice who scurried behind him. 
Kate knew why he left so quickly and understood.  He could not risk showing unreasonable concern for her with the eyes of so many upon them.

Lifting her sodden skirts the best she could, Kate climbed down only to find that the hand waiting there to assist her was not
a footman’s or even the butler’s
but Susan Ralston’s.  “Thank you, Miss Kallastad.”

“You’ve already thanked me, Mrs. Ralston,” Kate demurred.

“
Not for saving my son
though
,
as I said, I wil
l
be eternally grateful.
”
Susan gripped Kate’s hand between her own small ones.  “I want to thank you for those words
about Nathan’s father and your own.  In all these months of silence, the times I tried to explain death to Nathan, and I did try, I could never make him understand that grief was not what
Charles
would have wanted.”  The older woman drew Kate into her arms and hugged her ignoring Kate’s protests about her wet clothing. 

Softening, Kate returned the embrace
before stepping back
.
  “He is learning to celebrate life again, Mrs. Ralston. 
I
n the end, this sc
are
might even have been a way to demonstrate it more fully
.  I’m no grief counselor but I will talk to him
some more
and perhaps when he does lose someone again, it won’t be so hard on him.”

“I’m so g
lad we have you, Miss Kallastad.
”
Mrs. Ralston hugged her quickly once more.

“
Please, c
all me Kate.”

“And I’m Susan from now on,” came the response as Susan put an arm around Kate’s shoulders and turned her toward the door.  “You should get out of those wet clothes and into a hot bath.  I’d wager Harrowby has already ordered one for you.”

Another carriage ground to a halt and both women turned to see Belinda Ryder emerge from the conve
yance with several of the house
guests falling out behind her. 
With her black gown and hat, gaunt face and cold, piercing eyes, Kate thought the woman gave the impression of the Angel of Death descending to snatch Kate up after all.  Kate’s lips twisted in wry amusement.  Or, at the very least, terrorize her into an early grave.

“
Really,
Susan, whatever are you about?
” Mrs. Ryder tsked her disapproval.
 
“
She is but a servant, unhand her
. 
Now, I heard about that unseemly
spectacle my grandson created today.  Where is he?”

“Miss Kallastad saved Nathan’s life today, Mother,” Susan said defensively though her arm did slide off Kate’s shoulders.  “I am merely thanking her for her efforts.”

Mrs. Ryder surveyed Kate up and down with a sniff. 

“She deserves your thanks as well, Mother.”  This came from Brand who had reemerged from the house in time to
hear his sister’s words and see his mother’s response
.  His caring tones from the carriage were gone, however
.  H
is tone
was
frigid as he addressed his mother.

Mrs. Ryder’s lips tightened in reluctance, but as if she were more aware of the audience at her back than
the threat in
her son’s tone, she offered,
“Yes, Miss Kallastad,
many thanks
.”

Wow, there was no chance of getting a warm, fuzzy feeling from that woman, Kate thought
as she bobbed a proper curtsey.

“Go
and
dry off, Miss Kallastad,” Susan whispered softly and Kate turned to go
, more than willing to flee Mrs. Ryder’s frosty glare
.

Brand was there waiting for her and Kate
gathered up her
wet
skirts, following
hi
s gesture that she should precede
him inside.  Once in the door, he caught up with her and Kate felt his warm hand
surround
hers.  She looked at him in surprise but he only
gave her an assuring squeeze before releasing her.

The contact was brief, falling far short of the comfort both desired.
Not so brief, however, that
it
didn’t go
unnoticed
by many however only one pair of eyes narrowed in hawk-eyed glare
.

Later that night

He just couldn’t stay away.  The truth would have amused Harrowby if he hadn’t been so disturbed by it. 
He had resolved to give Kate time to recuperate after her ordeal yet, there he was, his guests left to his mother’s tender mercies so that he might pursue Kate in her own rooms with half the house yet awake.
His inability to set thoughts of her aside over the space of a single evening did not sit too well with him when combined with the strength of the fear he had felt at the potential loss of her that afternoon.
  The drive to hold her in his arms had only multiplied itself since he had denied
it
earlier.  He needed her in his arms, to assure himself of her health and wellbeing.

Kate and Nathan both
, after being bathed and pampered through the afternoon, had refused the need for bed rest and had, inste
ad, carried on as if nothing
happened.
I
n fact,
he had
come by earlier expect
ing
them both to be abed only to find them sitting across from one another on the floor with their legs crossed, playing cards in their hands.  His nephew held his hand fanned just inches beneath his nose with a wicked look on his face.  Though he was curious
,
as always when presented with their activities, Harrowby had slipped away
,
certain that fate had stepped in to steer his actions back to a more proper course.

However,
Harrowby could not dismiss the near tragedy from him mind and he thought perhaps Susan could not either, though not entirely for the same reasons.  Harrowby knew that he’d come close not only to losing his nephew but also a woman who was quickly coming to mean more to him than he might have imagined.  Not just the object of his physical desires but those buried deep within his heart.

As Susan had mothered and nearly smothered her son with loving affection through the afternoon, Harrowby had longed to do the same not only for Nathan but for Kate as well. 
Life was a fragile thing, he was starting to understand.  Such a realization made him want to act on his
impuls
es before the opportunity was forever taken from him
. 

To hold another close.

To confess to them the feelings in his heart
. 

It was
disarming to be awash with such
urges when he’d never felt the like in all his days.

But that was Kate, he admitted.  Ever disarming.

Now, r
eturning to her chambers
once more
, any noble intentions fled and
Harrowby’s mind
blanked when he
found her
door ajar and a peek inside
revealed to him a most pleasing vision.

Kate was lounging back on a chaise near the window. 
The light cast by a nearby lamp
spilled across her
,
highlighting shadows and curves.  Her long skirts were pulled up
above
her knees, one leg was bent and tucked under the
other that
was hanging off the side of the chaise and swinging freely.  She was shoeless and the top several buttons on her bodice were undone.

She looked utterly – what was her word from the previous evening? – sexy.  He liked the term simply because she was more than merely beautiful and desirable.  Sexy seemed earthier somehow, more basic.  Harrowby felt himself harden with unbidden lust once more.  He should have kn
own better than to seek her out.  Their conversation that afternoon, Kate’s acquiescence to the idea of becoming lovers created an undeniable
magnetism
that seemed to leave him
powerless
to her
pull
and brush
ed
aside any
altruistic inclinations
he might have had
.

As he watched,
Kate ran her fingers idly through her loose dark hair making his fingers itch to do the same.  She caugh
t a lock at the end and twisted
it around her finger as she concentrated on the page before her.  She was clearly lost in what she read… and what she was reading was his novel.

Harrowby watched her expression as
her
eyes glided to the right before dashing back to the left.   Her brow furrowed once, the corner of her mouth turning down but then, the expression li
t
and those luscious lips turned upward instead.  A few moments later, she released a huff of silent amusement. 

Kate was enjoying the tale, he realized.

Damn, if that didn’t make him want her all the more.

He must have made some motion for Kate suddenly turned to him, her lips parting in a full welcoming smile that sent a rush of heat not only to Harrowby’s loins but
also
to every extremity of his body.  By God, but she was a lovely woman!

“Hey, Brand,” she welcomed him lazily, “come on in and sit for a while
,
why don’t ya.”

Harrowby shook his head against her informal invitation even as his feet propelled him into the room. 
Unconsciously, he shut the door behind him. 
“Perhaps I should give you a moment to arrange yourself in a more lady-like fashion.”

“Hmmm?”
Kate frowned before looking down at her bared legs.  “Ugh, what a bother.  Does it really matter?  Surely a
n exposed
calf can’t be that big of a deal.”

“On the contrary,” he replied
in a low tone
.  “A well-turned ankle has been known to make beasts of mortal men.”

Kate laughed,
straightening
her bent leg
to lay
it
a
long
side the other
before
pull
ing her
skirts up even further
,
ostensibly to examine the view
. 
She
lifted
one long leg
out
before her, aware that
Brand’s eyes were roving the limb hungrily.  With a devious smile, she flipped he
r
skirts back down covering her leg to the toe. 
“That’s such bullshit
, you know
.  There’s just no way.  It’s not
as if
you can actually see anything through these stockings.  They remind me of my dad’s wool hunting socks.  Not particularly alluring.”

“Yet they are infi
nitely sexy,” he returned, drawling the last word slowly as if he were enjoying the sound of it rolling off his tongue. 

She only laughed some more.  “Now I know you’re kidding… unless you’re the kind of man who prefers footie pajamas to a negligee.”

“Footie pajamas?” he queried, sitting stiffly at the end of the chaise as Kate had invited with a pat of her hand.

“They’re sort of like long
johns
but with feet attached
.  Do you know what those are?”

Harrowby just shook his head once more.   “I’m sorry, no.”

With a frown, Kate tried to think of another variation of the long underwear, but came up with nothing.  “Well, let’s just say, they are traditionally the most un-sexy sleepwear known to man.”

A smile lifted the corner of Harrowby’s mouth, lighting his expression.  “Where ever did you learn these expressions, Kate?  It is at once charming yet quite disarming.  I never know what you are going to say next.  Are you not aware of how inappropriate it is to speak with a
gentleman regarding your under
clothes?”

“I’m betting you’d consider
ninety-nine percent
of the conversations we have where I come from inappropriate, Brand,” Kate told him.  “It’s a no holds barred ti– place.  There’s no topic too risqué, no subject taboo.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“I could tell you tons of things you wouldn’t believe,” she replied with a twist of her lips.

“Such as?”

“Such as having public
demonstration
s where people get together to talk about their sex lives
.  Where
daughters
talk about
their mothers having affairs with thei
r own
husbands or wives sleeping with dozens of different men
to the extent that they are un
able to be sure who fathered their babies,” she told him
,
thinkin
g of the handful of horrid talk
shows that fascinated some of her college friends but appalled Kate.

“You jest.”

“No, they do it right out there for everyone to hear about,” she assured him
with a wave of her hand
.  “It is awful really but people just can’t seem to keep their noses out of other people’s business or stop being fascinated by all the terrible things people will do.”

It appalled Harrowby as well but, after a moment of reflection,
he
shrugged in acceptance.  “I must admit the gossip mongers in London are almost as bad.  They pretend to act as if their words cannot be overheard, but in truth, they seek only to rain scandal down upon some unsuspecting soul.”

“Yea
h
,
they’re just like a train wreck.
”
Kate
nodded.  “Most people just can’t look away.”

He shrugg
ed, his attention
clearly
not on the subject
, Kate saw,
but rather on the
rhythmic flutter of Kate’s skirts where her swinging foot continued to upset the long garment
.

Kate suppressed a smile that she was distracting him so and kicked it up higher, sending the skirts high and revealing another glimpse of her ankles.
“T
hi
s whole conversation is a train
wreck so let me change it.  What brings you up here to
night
, Brand?
”

“I wanted to assure myself of your wellbeing,” he finally offered gruffly. 

“As you can see, I’m fine.”

“You worried me today.”  Brand reached out and stroked her cheek.  The rough texture of his fingers sent shivers of awareness through her.
  Leaning forward, Kate sank into his arms with a sigh
,
completing the act that both had longed for
since
that afternoon.

“I didn’t get a chance to thank you for saving me
today,” she spoke softly
into his shirt
.  “It never occurred to me that those skirts would be so heavy.”

“It was my pleasure.” 

“I’m glad you were there.”

“I will always do my best to save your life as needed,” he whispered teasingly.

Kate smiled against his c
hest and drawled back, “Well, I
appreciate that, thank you.”

For several long moments, Kate luxuriated in their embrace.  Brand stroked her back then her hair tenderly and she closed her eyes reveling in the warmth – not only of his body –
but also
of his caring. 
“Speaking of
today
, I’d like to get back to our previous conversation,” Kate said
, e
asing back to meet his gaze. 
“So, if I have the right of it, you’ve
been avoiding me
the past week
because you don’t want to ruin my reputation.”

“
Yes, though p
erhaps not in the beginning,” he allowed.  “In a normal situation, I would never engage in such a relationship with one of my staff.”

“But?”

Brand smiled down at her and grasped her chin pulling her forward to
press
a soft kiss to the tip of Kate’s nose.  “Fishing for compliments, Kate? 
But
this is beyond a normal situation.  You have bewitched me, darling Kate.  I have
n’t the
desire to fight it any longer but I must do what I can to preserve your reputation.  While Society allows for a man of my station to have as many lovers as he likes, a household such as mine – the hierarchy of the household, I guess you might say – is not as forgiving.  A connection to me could make your life difficult.”

“Any suggestions?”

“We would need to keep our liaisons a secret, I suppose
.”  Brand frowned before adding,
“I dislike the subterfuge.  I should rather like to enjoy your company freely.”

“I guess I could just quit.”

“And go where?” he asked
before adding suspiciously,
“o
r are you asking me to establish a residence for you where we might be able to meet freely?”