Nothing is Forever (32 page)

Ruth began sorting out the meals, writing down the costs in a notebook she habitually kept so Henry and Rachel could make sure they were profitable. She looked at the booking forms and saw that already there were several parties already marked for the following year. ‘Mostly repeat visits,’ she remarked to Rachel.

‘And what about you, Ruth, dear? Will you be here for the next season?’

Shocked by the question, Ruth said, ‘I don’t know what I want to do. It’s been so busy here I haven’t had time to think about it.’

‘Henry needs to know he has staff he can rely on.’

Did he really think of her as staff? she wondered in disbelief. ‘So you think I should leave to give him a chance to find someone permanent, get them trained ready for the spring?’

‘Only if you aren’t certain of staying.’

So Henry wants her to go and he had left it to his mother to tell me, she thought as she pummelled the dough to make the bread rolls for supper. As soon as Henry appeared she said, ‘I’m going to ask Mr Burrows for my job back. I don’t want you to delay in finding staff you can rely on.’

‘What are you talking about?’ he asked.

‘Talk to your mother,’ she said and, reaching for her coat, she ran out just in time to get a bus back to Aunty Blod’s flat.

‘Insurance, it’s quite an interesting job,’ she explained to Blod. ‘And with the money from the sale of Ty Gwyn I can afford a car to make it easier. I’ll go and see Mr Burrows tomorrow. He said I should talk to him if I ever wanted my job back.’

Blod said very little but she went to the phone box and told Henry he was a fool before slamming down the receiver.

Ruth didn’t talk to Mr Burrows. She spent some time with Abigail, and with Megan and Mali and Tabs, but refused to talk about what had happened. She missed her family, wished they were still together, at least Tommy and Bryn. Risking a rebuff, she went one evening to see first Bryn and Brenda, who seemed very content in their little house and hinting that a second baby might be announced soon. A few doors away the reception was different. Moving to a house hasn’t changed Toni, she thought, as she was shown into the cold, neat front room, with its crimson velvet curtains and matching three piece suite. Tommy wasn’t his usual ebullient self, quietly listening to her news and Toni sat, straight shouldered, in an upright chair looking as though she were timing her visit. Ruth wondered if they had been quarrelling, or whether it was her arrival that had caused such chillness.

‘Toni wants us to move again in a month or so,’ Tommy said eventually, as Ruth was beginning to make a move to go. ‘She wants something a bit smarter.’

‘What about Bryn and Brenda?’ was Ruth’s first question. ‘They seem very content here.’

‘That’s always the problem,’ Toni said. ‘We don’t have to do everything Bryn and Brenda do. I’m more ambitious than they are. We need to live in a better area, with decent neighbours. Somewhere our children can grow up with people in common with our tastes and aims.’

‘Staying together is the same with Mali and Megan,’ Ruth said calmly. ‘But the reason they want to stay together is Mickie. When Megan decided to keep him, not have him adopted like her mother wanted, she and Mali promised to bring him up together.’

‘More fool Mali! I hear she turned down a proposal of marriage to stay with her sister. It’s ridiculous.’

‘If you don’t understand about Tommy and Bryn, how important they are to each other, you don’t know Tommy at all,’ she said, repeating Mali’s words to Kenny.

‘Rubbish.’

‘Separate Tommy and Bryn and you’ll regret it,’ Ruth whispered as she left.

Ruth went home feeling dejected. It was ages since she’d heard from her older brothers. Emrys and Susan weren’t that far away, yet an occasional letter was all they managed. Geraint, in London, had written to tell them that his wife had left the man for whom she had ended her marriage. ‘But,’ he had told Ruth when she had phoned him, ‘the divorce will still happen. I could never trust her again, and going through this misery once is quite enough for one lifetime.’

‘I knew this would happen, Aunty Blod,’ she called, as she went into the flat, but there was no reply. Puzzled she looked for a note. She was probably visiting her neighbour Mrs Harrison, she thought, and set a tray for tea for when she returned.

Blodwen was at the hospital. She had heard from her brother and he had told her where to find him. She went on the bus and waited outside the ward with other visitors, aware that they all carried some small gift and bags of what appeared to be freshly laundered clothes. She wished she’d brought more than a small bag of fruit. But how could she know what he needed? Next time she’d do better. She mentally made a list of items to bring on her next visit.

Ralph was sitting up in bed, his face rosy with the heat of the ward. He greeted her with pleasure but his first words were, ‘You haven’t told anyone I’m here, have you?’ She shook her head, kissed him lightly and offered the fruit. ‘Sorry I haven’t brought anything useful, but tell me what you need and I’ll bring it next time.’

‘No need, Sis. I’m leaving here tomorrow. I’ll be in touch, but I don’t want to come to your flat just yet.’

‘What’s your story, our Ralph? Why the secrecy? I’m bursting to know.’

‘Patience for a while longer, please.’

They talked for the rest of the time about their childhood, bringing to mind things long forgotten. Blod was very thoughtful as she went home. When she went into the flat, preparing the lie about where she had been, she heard voices.

‘Tell me why you’ve suddenly decided to leave the centre. I thought you were happy there. To go back to selling insurance? Not much cooking and caring there and that’s what you’re good at.’ Blod put a hand over her mouth to stop calling. This might be important. She quietly slipped into her bedroom and sat on the bed.

‘Your mother made it clear that I should leave to give you time to get proper staff before next season,’ Ruth told him. ‘You couldn’t even tell me yourself!’

‘But I haven’t discussed you with my mother. I don’t want you to leave. I – I depend on you.’

Ruth frowned angrily. ‘Depend? That sounds worse than grateful!’

‘I need you, Ruth, and I always will. I thought we’d build up this business together. Please stay.’

Spoken as a grudging favour to hide the relief she felt, she agreed.

‘But first,’ he said, standing to leave, ‘first I must talk to my mother.’

Abigail bumped into Jack, literally, as she turned the corner of the street near the bungalow where Tabs now lived with Megan and Mali. He smiled at her. ‘Abigail, love, I didn’t hurt your mother. I’d never have done anything to harm her. I loved her too. Please tell me you believe me.’ How she wanted to take those extra steps and feel his arms around her. But she pushed him aside and ran to the bungalow and knocked on the door, which was opened by Tabs.

‘Was that Jack?’ Tabs asked. ‘What’s he doing around here? Not coming to see me, I hope.’

‘You don’t seem too surprised to see him? I thought he’d gone to London,’ Abigail said.

‘I saw him in the cinema. I actually showed them to their seats. I didn’t want to tell you in case you were upset.’ Abigail wanted the whole truth so she also told her about the girl he was with. ‘Young and very pretty.’

‘Thank goodness we’re both free of him. He’ll never be loyal, or honest. It isn’t in his nature. It’s a pity it took so long for me to learn that.’ Tabs went into the kitchen to make tea and Abigail followed her.

‘I feel at least partly responsible for the way he’s behaving,’ Abigail murmured.

‘How can you blame yourself for a man like Jack?’ Tabs protested.

‘He believed an inheritance was waiting for him and it ruined his life. When we first met he had a good job, well paid, and it was me who encouraged him to leave everything and go off to find the family who owed him a fortune. Once I’d heard about the inheritance, the “treasure” that had been stolen from him, it sounded so romantic, finding a family lost to him for most of his life I begged him to find them.’ She smiled sadly. ‘I was so young and earning a lot of money to which I could see no end. I gave him money, there was plenty more where that came from. I was never one to save for a rainy day. It was so easy to persuade him and once he began, he couldn’t give up.’

‘You weren’t the cause of him stealing, or for him using me to try to find this imaginary inheritance.’

‘I don’t think he’d have tried if it weren’t for me.’

‘Bringing out his greed and making him steal from friends who trusted him? That is Jack. No one made him that way.’

‘One day I might believe that,’ Abigail said sadly.

Ruth was edgy when she went back to the centre. She was unsure of how Rachel would behave. To her surprise Rachel came out to meet her, and hugged her. ‘I’m sorry, Ruth. I had no right to interfere. I just wanted you to think about what you wanted, before Henry depended on you absolutely and you left us with a serious gap in the team.’

‘I do know what I want,’ Ruth told her, ‘and it isn’t working here as a general fill-in until Henry finds someone experienced and trained in the running of a place like this.’

‘You are trained and certainly experienced. I’m very sorry, dear. Henry couldn’t find anyone better. Now, can we please forget my stupidity in mentioning the possibility of your leaving?’

Ruth smiled at her but she wasn’t convinced. Was Henry just making use of her until he found someone suitable? Would he then tell her to leave? She found that hard to believe. But, she admitted to herself, we have drifted so far apart, it wasn’t impossible.

Christmas intervened and she didn’t embrace it with her usual enthusiasm. Last year it had been a disaster and this year, with the absence of her brothers and sisters-in-law, it was likely to be even worse. She made no suggestions, just waited for instructions from Henry and his mother. She baked mince pies, and a Christmas cake and filled the pantry with extra food but it was Rachel who cooked the dinner.

The days passed quietly, leaving her almost unaware of the special occasion apart from exchanging gifts and eating the meal which didn’t taste as good as her own would have been, although, she admitted to Tabs later, that was mainly sour grapes. The truth was, she felt as though she were among strangers. She wasn’t involved. This wasn’t her Christmas, she was a guest at someone else’s.

Lillian was in North Wales visiting her son. Aunty Blod was back at her flat sharing the time with her neighbour, Cathy Harrison. They were few in number and that made it even more difficult for Ruth, who regretfully left the meals for Rachel to arrange.

Unknown to Ruth and the others, Blod visited Ralph in the bed-sit he rented and gave him a parcel of food to cheer his Christmas Day. ‘As soon as you tell the others you’re here, we’ll have a second Christmas and celebrate in style,’ she promised.

Tommy and Bryn and their families brought gifts but stayed away for the important days. Tabs, Mali and Megan and the children spent the time in the bungalow. Abigail was alone, having refused the invitation to join them. Christmas was a sentimental time, a time for memories, and she wanted to wallow in her misery of missing her mother – and Jack.

Mali had seen nothing of Kenny since she had refused his proposal and she watched passers-by hoping he would come. She knew she wouldn’t change her mind, but saying goodbye to someone she loved was hard. Surely he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye?

While she and Megan and Tabs were playing hide and seek, with Mickie a very excited seeker, screaming in excitement when he found one of them, Kenny knocked the door but no one heard. He went around to the back and peered through the window. Bottoms were sticking out from under the table, Mickie and Megan were creeping up on them and when they tapped them more shouts and laughter filled the air. He walked away.

Tommy and Toni went to Bryn and Brenda’s for Christmas dinner but Toni was clearly there on sufferance and kept looking at the clock, willing the time to pass so she and Tommy could leave. Brenda was not very organized and the meal was late and some of the vegetables were cold. Next year, she promised herself, she would do things her way and show Tommy how well they could manage without his twin brother’s family dragging them down. She felt as much an outsider as Ruth.

Kenny had been at school with Tommy and Bryn and, unsettled and utterly miserable, he walked to where Tommy and Toni lived. He knocked on the door, convinced he would be invited in to share an hour of pleasant reminiscences, but although Tommy threw open the door and welcomed him, Toni was less enthusiastic. The place was immaculate, with only a bowl filled with holly branches to suggest that it was Christmas. Armchairs and a couch held cushions that appeared never to have been dented by anyone. There weren’t even any cards on display.

The table was set for a meal, with serviettes and glasses for wine and he hesitated. ‘Sorry, you’re just about to eat.’

‘No, it’s all right,’ Tommy said. ‘We won’t eat for an hour yet. In fact, why don’t you stay?’ But a look at Toni’s disapproving face made Kenny give his excuses and leave. ‘ I only wanted to say Happy New Year. Perhaps we can meet soon, go for a drink, eh, Tommy?’

Toni said nothing, and an embarrassed Tommy showed him out.

A few doors away Bryn was opening the front door and putting milk bottles on the step. ‘Hi, Kenny, got time for a drink?’ he called, and Kenny followed him in.

The difference between the two houses made him smile with relief. There were clothes everywhere; drying on racks, piled in a basket ready for washing and a quantity of freshly laundered baby clothes in an other, identical basket.

‘The baskets were Toni’s Christmas present; she thought it would help us to tidy up, I think,’ Bryn said with a laugh. ‘No chance of that, until this little one grows up, eh, love?’

‘He’s such fun we spend too much time enjoying him,’ Brenda said. ‘I can’t see it changing for a long time. Daft Bryn’s already bought him a football!’

‘It’s a lovely home and you, Bryn Thomas, are a lucky bloke.’

‘And I know it!’ Bryn agreed.

He handed the baby to Kenny who took him nervously. ‘Coming to see your Uncle Kenny then, Niblo?’

When he left Bryn and Brenda’s, Kenny walked back to the bungalow and this time he knocked. Tabs answered and called, ‘Mali, it’s Kenny.’ She left him waiting at the door until Mali joined him.

‘I’m not going,’ he said at once. ‘I want to stay here, with you.’

Joy flooded through her but caution quickly followed. ‘For how long?’ she asked. ‘How long before you get itchy feet again, Kenny?’

‘I know now I’d have been unhappy, trying to live a different life, when everything I need is here. I’ve just been to see Tommy and his ambitious wife, and Bryn, whose wife knows what happiness it. She enjoys what they have and doesn’t waste today dreaming of a wonderful tomorrow that could turn out to be so much worse.’

‘That’s very philosophical, Kenny.’

‘I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want from life. Living here with you is all I’ll ever want. Marry me. I want a home and a family just like Bryn and Brenda.’

‘And Mickie?’

‘Mickie will always be a part of it.’

Behind the door, Megan and Tabs were leaning forward unashamedly listening, with crossed fingers held high.

Toni was already discussing with Tommy how they would arrange Christmas for the following year, in the elegant new house she planned to buy up near the park. Getting Tommy away from his cloying family had not been as easy as she’d expected. She couldn’t understand it, when what she offered was so much better. Once Ty Gwyn had been sold she had expected the family connection to end, but Tommy and Bryn were still inseparable. That would have to change when they moved among more suitable neighbours. ‘Tommy,’ she called to where he was standing looking at the garden, ‘will you open the wine, it needs time to breathe.’

Tommy raised his eyes to the sky and did what she asked.

It hadn’t taken Jack very long to realise that the family referred to by the man on the train wasn’t the one he was seeking. They were from the north of England and had no connection with the area in which he believed his family would be found. He went out with the young girl a few times but found her rather boring. She stared at him adoringly and uttered agreement to everything he said. There was no sign of any interest in her life except, he suspected, marriage and children. Not mine, he muttered, on their final date.

Regretfully, he left the job that was to have been the base on which to build a new, honest future, and went back to the town were Abigail lived. Work was hard to find so he returned to the casual work and occasional theft to survive. He watched Abigail as she went to work and at lunchtimes when she sometimes went out to do some shopping, and once he had knocked on her door.

‘Go away, Jack. I don’t want to see you. I’m sure you can understand.’

‘I didn’t neglect Gloria,’ he pleaded. ‘Please listen and I’ll explain exactly what happened.’

‘Guilty or not in law, I believe you were culpable. Whatever you say won’t change that.’ She closed the door firmly and ignored his continued knocks. She leaned against the back of the door until she heard his footsteps walking away. She wanted so much to call him back. Anything would be better than this loneliness.

He came the next evening, and the next. When he made his fourth visit it was in a snow storm and he was drenched and looking so ill she let him in. ‘Just to dry off, then you have to leave,’ she said.

‘Thank you, my darling Abi,’ he said ‘I knew you wouldn’t let me down.’

‘You aren’t staying,’ she retorted angrily. ‘Dry yourself, have something warm to eat, then you go.’

The centre attracted a few guests, even in the coldest months and even snowfalls added to the delight of winter walks along the lanes and through the fields. It was a gift to photographers. The guests were mostly bird-watchers, interested in the winter visitors and enjoying the extra visibility with the trees bare of their leaves.

Rachel felt the cold and stayed in her room. Ruth and Henry plus two staff managed well enough, until one, then the other phoned to tell Henry they were ill and wouldn’t be in. It was difficult, as besides cooking and checking the rooms, Ruth also had to cope with the cleaning. Henry took the groups out on walks but had to rise early to get wood chopped and coal brought in and two fires lit. Paths had to be cleared of snow, which returned in fury and had to be moved again. Clothes and boots worn by the visitors had to be dried which added to the task of dealing with the laundering of bedding. It was frequently after midnight before they went to their separate rooms, and six a.m. when they met in the kitchen for a cup of tea before beginning their daily tasks.

Henry contacted a part-time assistant who worked only during the summer months, and to their relief she agreed to help, but then she called them back to tell them she too was unable to come as promised due to another heavy fall of snow.

Henry said, ‘D’you think we should cancel next week’s bookings?’

Ruth shook her head. ‘All we need is someone to help with the fires and the snow clearing. We’ll manage the rest.’

 Henry rang several people he knew to find someone to help them but no one was available. He even asked his mother and Abigail if there was someone near where they lived who might be willing to work for a few days but no one came. Then Jack arrived.

‘I hear you are looking for some help for a few days,’ he said, as Henry opened the door.

‘Not you, thanks,’ Henry said, beginning to close the door.

‘I’ll work hard and you won’t find anyone else willing to come out in this weather.’ Jack stood and watched as the door opened again.

‘You can sleep in the barn but you’re not to come into the house.’ He offered the sum he was willing to pay, knowing it was generous. Jack nodded, and Henry began to lead him towards the wood pile and asked him to saw some logs and chop some kindling.

‘It’s all right, I know where the tools are,’ Jack said, and walked off insouciantly to leave Henry frowning suspiciously. Then he went to tell Ruth what he had done.

Three days passed and Jack did all they asked of him, sleeping in the barn with the fire burning to keep the place warm. Ruth washed his clothes replacing some with a few of Henry’s cast-offs

On his final day, when the permanent staff returned, and the snow was disappearing under heavy rain, Henry paid him and he gathered his bag of freshly laundered clothes to leave. The next day he returned asking for a jumper he’d left behind. He packed it into his bag and said, ‘Sad about your Tommy, isn’t it?’ He slung the bag onto his shoulder and began to walk away.

‘Tommy?’ Ruth frowned. ‘What’s the matter with Tommy?’

‘Had an accident, didn’t he? How will your Bryn manage without him? I’m just off to see if I can help.’

Ruth had a word with Henry and, leaving the others in charge, he drove her to where Tommy and Toni lived. They could hear the baby crying as they knocked on the door, and Ruth called through the letter box. ‘It’s me, Toni. Is everything all right? Only we heard something about Tommy being hurt.’

The door opened and Toni stood there in a dressing-gown, holding the baby. Her hair hadn’t been combed and she wore no make-up and looked distraught. Seeing her like that worried Ruth more than the words spoken by Jack. She went in and Henry followed.

‘Stupid man,’ Toni began tearfully. ‘This will ruin our plans. He just doesn’t think.’

‘Tommy isn’t hurt then?’ Ruth asked.

‘He’s broken a leg and won’t be able to work for weeks and weeks. He might not ever go back to the work he and Bryn do.’

‘Come on, broken bones heal,’ Henry soothed. ‘But what happened?’

‘He was lopping branches from a tall sycamore tree. They were over-hanging the road and they were going to deal with them later, when the weather improves, but your Tommy couldn’t wait. Bryn had gone off to price another job and Tommy decided that, snow or not, he could climb up and deal with it himself. His foot slipped on an icy branch and he fell.’

‘Where is he? Can we see him?’ Ruth asked.

‘At the hospital, where he’s joking and making them laugh at his description of his acrobatic fall,’ Toni said bitterly.

‘When did this happen?’ Ruth asked.

‘Three days ago. He’ll be home tomorrow, when the swelling’s gone down.’

‘Three days ago?’ Henry said, reaching for Ruth’s hand. ‘Why didn’t you tell Ruth?’

‘She wasn’t my first thought!’ Toni snapped. ‘I was shocked, frightened, but I didn’t feel the need to run to Ruth. I’ve been worrying about how we’re going to manage while Tommy can’t work.’

‘Come on, Henry, let’s get to the hospital.’ Ruth walked to the door without a another word.