Nothing is Forever

Ruth Thomas and Henry were walking through the fields on a cold, crisp day in March. The frost hadn’t cleared from places sheltered from the weak sun and they were well wrapped up for their winter walk, but they were beginning to think of cafés and cups of tea. Walking in the countryside near where they lived was something they both enjoyed and at this time of the year with the trees bare and visibility at its best, Henry carried field-glasses and Ruth carried a camera. But Ruth was aware that today, Henry seemed unaware of the beauty of the place and walked silently beside her as though there was something on his mind.

‘I’m tired of waiting,’ he said, when she asked the reason for his sober mood. ‘I want us to marry.’

‘Of course we’ll marry, Henry, but not yet.’

‘I think we should name a day for later this year.’

Ruth laughed. ‘Oh, you are funny sometimes. How can we with Tommy, and Bryn and his wife still living at home? How could I manage to look after them and live with you, unless you’ve changed your mind about coming to live at Ty Gwyn?’

‘You’ve looked after your four brothers for ten years. Don’t you think it’s time to put yourself first? I want us to have children, Ruth, and time is passing.’

They returned to the car and Henry stopped outside a café where they regularly went on their days together. When he tried again to discuss plans for a wedding, she glanced at her watch and begin to hurriedly finish the cake she was eating. ‘Come on, love, I have to get back, we can talk about this some other time. Brenda and Bryn will be back and Tommy too. They’ll be expecting their tea to be on the table.’

‘What about us?’

‘The boys will need me for a while yet.’

‘When Tommy marries, your work will be done, they’ll all go off and make lives for themselves and you will have to do the same, don’t you see that? You’ll have to make a life of your own once you’re no longer needed to run the family home. Think about it and make plans of your own, plans for you and me.’

‘I can’t leave Ty Gwyn. It’s been the family home for two generations before us. Besides, even if Tommy marries he’ll stay at home. Bryn and Tommy, being twins have been close all their lives and one won’t go far without the other.’

Henry dropped her off at the house and drove off. She waved as he turned the corner then, smiling, she went into the house. She was happy. She’d had a lovely morning with Henry but this was where she was needed. Her life was full of the ordinary things that meant she was valued and that was what kept her content. Gardening, mending, struggling to find meals out of the restrictive rationing. Spring 1954 and the rumour was that the rationing would finally be lifted this year, almost nine years after the war had ended. She was looking forward to that and had promised the family a huge celebratory dinner. Her brother Geraint would come down from London with Hazel and stay a few days. Emrys and Susan would come over from Bridgend. She was still smiling, aware of her contentment. One day she’d marry Henry and that would be wonderful too, but not while the boys needed her; she knew that he understood despite his occasional complaints.

There was a note on the message board telling her that Tommy was bringing someone home later. No name, so she presumed it was one of his friends from the darts team as usual. They practised in the shed when the weather allowed but today, it being so cold and the heater insufficient to heat the place they would meet in the kitchen and reminisce over previous matches and plan how to win the next game. She was smiling as she set the table, bringing out the very small cake that the rationing allowed. She loved the kitchen. It was where they all met to tell each other what their day had held, good news and bad, this kitchen had heard it all.

Bryn and Brenda came in first. ‘Our Tommy’s bringing a girl to meet you, Ruth,’ Brenda told her.

‘Oh that’s nice, I hope she isn’t too hungry, I’ve only made food for the three of you.’

‘I don’t think hunger’s on their mind.’

‘Someone special? It can’t be serious or I’d have met her before. Always brings his new girlfriends home, Tommy does.’

Voices outside, then the door burst open and Tommy came in shivering with cold, holding open the door to a young woman, whom he introduced as Toni, to enter. She looked, not exactly nervous, more on guard, Ruth told Henry later, as though expecting us not to like her.

‘Toni, this is Ruth, my wonderful sister who has looked after us since our parents died. How long is it now, Bryn?’

‘Ten years, and you still look as simple as you did then aged ten.’

‘Here they go,’ Ruth said with a laugh. ‘They never stop tormenting each other.’

‘I’ve noticed,’ Toni said, but she didn’t smile.

‘Isn’t Aunty Blod here yet?’ Tommy asked.

‘Don’t tell me you’ve invited her as well. How many are there coming and expecting tea?’

A rattle at the door and an elderly lady came in. ‘What’s this all about, then, our Tommy? Royal command it was, “Come to Ty Gwyn without fail.” Won the football pools have you?’

‘Better than that, Aunty Blod. This is Toni and we’re getting married.’

It was a shock to them but it was Aunty Blodwen who recovered first.

‘This is a surprise. Sudden, isn’t it? You haven’t announced an engagement yet, boy,’ Blodwen said, sizing up the newcomer with a suspicious frown.

‘It can’t be very soon, plenty of time to get to know each other. It takes a long time to plan a wedding. I’ll have to get one of the bigger front bedrooms ready for a start and—’

Tommy interrupted Ruth with a shock announcement. ‘No need to fuss, our Ruth. We’ve found a place to live and the wedding will be in the register office and—’ It was Tommy’s turn to be interrupted.

‘A place to live?’ Ruth stared at the silent girl who had moved to take Tommy’s arm possessively. ‘Where? I thought Tommy would stay here like Bryn and Brenda, to save up for a while and maybe buy a house of your own. You haven’t known Tommy long, or you’d know that he and Bryn are inseparable. Tommy won’t go unless Bryn goes and I can’t see him and Brenda leaving, can you, Tommy?’ She looked at her brother, a frown on her face, waiting for an explanation.

‘Don’t be so upset, this is good news, Ruth,’ he said. ‘It’s time we looked after ourselves and let you get on with the life you deserve. Marry Henry, Sis. Be happy. Wonderful you’ve been and we’ll never forget it.’

‘Thanks for sorting out my life for me,’ Ruth said, then briskly, ‘Come on, you’d better get this food eaten, or it’ll go for next door’s chickens!’

‘So,’ Henry said, when Ruth phoned from the kiosk on the corner of the road, ‘the good news is, we can marry at last.’

‘They’ll still need me there for a long time yet. I don’t suppose Toni will be able to cope straight away with running a home and working. I have to be there to help. And there’s still Bryn and Brenda. They’ll still come home from work expecting food, and the washing done and ironed.’

‘So, our wedding?’ His voice revelled a slight irritation. ‘When d’you think you can fit that in?’

‘While I’m needed I have to be here.’

‘I’m off tomorrow to North Wales looking for furniture that I can sell at auction and hopefully a few smaller items for the shop. Don’t forget lunch with Mam tomorrow. I’ll see you when I get back, in about a week, and please, while I’m away think about us and lets talk about a firm date when I get back, all right?’

‘I promise I’ll think about it, Henry. Oh, and I’ll pop in to make sure everything is secure at the shop.’

‘My mother would like you to go there for lunch tomorrow; I’ll leave from there. One o’clock?’ Henry ran an antiques business from a small shop in the town and buying and selling at auctions. A second, smaller shop was managed by his mother. Ruth had never taken a great interest in what he did, but while he was away she would clean the place as a surprise for when he got back.

The plans were changed when Bryn and Brenda came in the following morning followed by Tommy and Toni.

A rather grim-faced Toni handed Ruth a piece of paper.

‘What’s this?’ Ruth asked, before looking at it. ‘You all look too serious for it to be good news.’

‘Toni and me, we’re getting married in three days time,’ Tommy said, putting an arm around Ruth’s shoulders. ‘That’s good news, eh? Me and Toni are getting married and Bryn’ll be best man and Brenda the matron of honour, I don’t know whether they have bridesmaids in the register office, see,’ he added.

‘But you can’t. How am I going to arrange a wedding in a couple of days? This is silly. You’ll have to reconsider it. Later in the summer perhaps, or an autumn wedding would be lovely. But in three day’s time? Don’t be ridiculous, Tommy.’

‘There’s this flat,’ Toni explained briskly. ‘We heard of it yesterday and we’ve decided to take it.’ She looked at Bryn and Brenda who stood white faced and anxious.

‘The flat next door to it is for rent too,’ Tommy explained nervously. ‘Bryn and Brenda know they have put on you for too long so they’re taking that one. Marvellous luck. Living next door to each other; it’s too good an opportunity to miss, see. And Ruth, love, we’ll be out of your hair. You’ll be free of us.’

Ruth felt sick, her stomach churning with the shock, and angry too at the casualness of the announcement. How could they make plans without involving her in the discussions? She glanced at the cold expression on Toni’s face and feared for a future without her brothers to care for. Toni was already making it clear that she was not going to fit into the pattern of Ruth’s idea of family life.

Geraint and Hazel in London, Emrys and Susan in Bridgend, and now both the twins moving out without allowing her time to get used to the changes. She was afraid to ask the address of the flats. Surely they won’t be moving far from Ty Gwyn?

Henry was travelling and Ruth had no one to talk to. She had made very few friends during the years she had cared for her brothers. Aunty Blod wouldn’t understand; she had agreed with Bryn and Tommy that this was a good thing. Ruth knew that although they had known each other for such a brief time, she and Toni would never be as close as she and Brenda had always been. She was a stranger who had upset her life the moment she arrived.

What a shock this had been. She had wild dreams of being alone in this large house, waking to imagined sounds. She went to the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea and wondered if she’d be brave enough to go upstairs and get into bed knowing there was no one else there, and thought that maybe she’d sleep on the old couch beside the fire. She completely forgot the invitation to have lunch with Henry’s mother, Rachael. So Henry had left without saying goodbye.

She left a message at one of the hotels in which he regularly stayed, but didn’t make a real effort to find him. In a strange way she was angry with him, he should be here when she needed him, but even that emotion passed. She was so busy she had little time to think about anything other than the wedding and the fear of being alone in the house that had always been filled with people.

On the day of the wedding she kept herself busy, pushing aside her fears of the emptiness of the large house once the twins and their wives had gone. Outside the register office a young man watched the family gathered for a few photographs, wondering whether there was a family for him, just waiting to be found. He followed them back to Ty Gwyn where the party was joined by others, laughing, pushing themselves into the house, from where the sounds of laughter continued until he eventually moved away. The name of the house touched a chord and he wondered whether the family justified a few enquiries.

It had been a double shock, Tommy marrying Toni whom they had not met before this week, and with Bryn and Brenda leaving too, the four of them moving into a place of their own. All in a matter of days, the arrangements being made without her being told until everything was in place. That must have been due to this Toni. Neither Brenda nor the twins would have behaved so unkindly.

In the large old fashioned kitchen of Ty Gwyn, Ruth looked around her at the familiar room that would soon lose it’s familiarity. Today was her brother Tommy’s wedding day and with Tommy and his twin brother Bryn and their wives all moving out there would be only the lonely echoes of the years of their childhood. The chairs would be empty, there would no longer be huge meals to prepare. The room would have lost its heart.

Tommy’s wedding would be the last the house would see. Bryn and Brenda, who had stayed on after their wedding were about to leave, Tommy’s new wife sweeping the changes before her without a thought. This sad, hastily planned wedding would be the last the house would know. She kept telling herself that she would cope on her own, but she was frightened but determined to hide from the rest of the family.

Noises from the living-room across the hall increased as jokes were told and teasing became more ribald. She had lost count of the friends and relatives for whom she was catering. Many more than had been invited for sure. She placed the sandwiches she had made on plates ready to take in to the guests. There had been so little time to prepare and with rationing still in force, she was disappointed at the simple spread she had been able to make.

She heard footsteps approaching and looked up, the smile ready for whoever appeared. She wouldn’t show for a moment how she feared the loneliness to come. She hoped it was Henry but that was unlikely; she hadn’t had a response from her letter telling him about Tommy’s wedding. It had all been such a rush. She knew she should have made more of an effort to tell him about the unexpectedly sudden marriage of Tommy and Toni but things had happened so fast. She regretted not talking to his mother, she would have known how to get in touch. Too late now. Henry would understand.

The back door opened and three people she didn’t know came in, waved vaguely and went to join the others. More friends of the happy couple, she presumed. She looked at the loaves and the last tin of corned beef, meat paste and the sad winter salads, plus a few treats from a farmer, of butter, cheese and a cooked chicken, hoping the food would last. The living-room door opened and the sound of the party increased, Tommy and Bryn were singing, making up the words when memory failed. Someone had produced a mouth organ and was struggling to keep in time.