Nothing Like the First Time (4 page)

When
Jodie came to bring me another drink on the dance floor, I didn’t stop dancing, just took the bottle from her hands—I smiled gratefully at her before she walked back towards the bar. I assumed that either the bartender or some other guy was keeping her amused as she didn’t seem pissed at me for leaving her to her own devices.

After another dance, I excused myself to go to the ladies
’ room. I walked towards the bar, and when Jodie saw me coming, she headed my way.

“So, little Carly decided to let her hair down tonight?”
Jodie asked in a pleased tone as we made our way through the crowd to the ladies’ room.

“Yes. Maybe a few cocktails was just what I needed. This club is great
,” I said as I pushed the door open. We both looked at each other and started to speak at the same time. We laughed and I quietly waited for her to go first.

“Matt is sooo cute
,” she said in her drunken sultry tone. “He’s taking me out tomorrow night.”

“
So you’re over Xander then? Who’s Matt?”

“Yes, I’m over that fool. He never had time for me
. Matt is the bartender, idiot.” She shoved me playfully. Even in her tipsy state, I could see her eyes were alight with happiness. It was about time she got lucky after having dated many a loser in her past.

“Oh
, so you got a date after embarrassing the poor guy with your obscene cocktail names?” I asked with a grin.

“There’s nothing obscene about a Screaming Orgasm and I’m hoping that’s what he gives me… after a few dates
, that is.”

I knew she wouldn’t sleep with him straight off. She has a
five date rule. No under the clothes action until on or after date number five. That wouldn’t stop her letting him touch her in all the right places over her clothes, but that only came after date number three.

“Well, I’m ready to get back to Matt
,” she said as she applied a fresh coat of lip gloss.

“Okay, mind if I come with or will there be too much innuendo for me to be comfortable looking at you both?” I laughed as I retouched my own gloss.

“I thought you were busy dancing with Grey—that’s if dancing is what it could really be called…” she trailed off.

“It was just a little harmless fun
,” I said in mock indignation.

We left the ladies
’ room and went to the bar. I ordered a bottle of water to rehydrate after all the alcohol I had consumed.

I could see Grey from where I was stood and he didn’t seem to be having anywhere near as much fun as we had just shared.
As luck would have it, he looked in my direction and offered a mega-watt smile that made my heart skip a beat.

After some more chatting
with Matt, Jodie decided we had to dance. She walked up to the DJ and requested he play “I Kissed A Girl”—trust Jodie for her typical taste in music. She began to sashay over to me to dance and grind with me—she even pretended to kiss me more than once, much to the pleasure of the men in the room.

When the song ended, she
sashayed back over to the stool Matt had reserved for her at the end of the bar. I was left standing like a fool when the DJ’s normal music resumed. But when the familiar opening bars of an old favorite song interrupted what the DJ had started to play, I couldn’t help the smile that lit my face.

I knew who had requested this song and why. There could only be one person
, and as I spotted him walking from the DJ booth, I walked in his direction.

Grey took me by the hand, led me to the middle of the dance floor
, and began to dance the way we always had to this song. My back was to his chest and he had his hands on my body, roaming their way from my shoulders, down my arms, then he took my hands and placed my arms around his neck—after which he resumed his hands following a path down my body.

My heart was pounding in my chest in time to the music. I was loving the feeling of his hands on my body, stirring up the feelings inside my heart at the same time. I turned to Grey and ran my fingertips down his broad chest. He’d had time to work o
ut since we were last together—even through my tipsy haze I could feel the muscles expand and contract as we danced. I put my hands on his hips and let the music take me.

After our dance, normal music resumed for the
second time and I excused myself from dancing to get a drink.

“Hey lady, what was all that about?”
Jodie asked as I ordered a cosmopolitan from Matt. Thankfully, that was one cocktail he knew the ingredients for.

“What was what about?” I asked as I took a long slow sip from my glass, deliberately avoiding the question as long as I could.

“You know full well what I mean, Carly, so don’t play dumb with me.” She pointed a finger at me accusingly.

“Oh okay, if you must know, Grey asked the DJ to play that song and we danced. End of story.”

“Not end of story.” I could see in her eyes she had sobered up somewhat since I last spoke to her. “Tell me now, he’s supposed to be engaged, so what was all that sexual tension about?”

“Well
, obviously it was sexual tension,” I pointed out.

“Well
, duh! Look, far be it from me to tell you what to do, but are you sure you know what you’re doing? He left you ten years ago, Carly.” And just like that I knew the playfulness of earlier was gone.

“I know
.” I hiccupped. “I was just dancing with him, Jodie.”

“Well
, if that’s all it was, what’s with the eyes he’s making at you now?”

“How would I know?” I asked as I turned to scan the dance floor. He was with his friends, but his eyes were still trained on me. The look in them made me feel naked, stripped bare
in an instant. I turned back to Jodie and just shrugged.

“
It’s your funeral,” she remarked and went back to talking to Matt.

I set my empty glass on the bar and went back to the dance floor. Grey and I made our way towards each other
, and when we were a foot apart, he held out his hand, a silent question to dance with him some more. Of course I was more than happy to oblige.

We danced until the club closed at 2
a.m. After another cocktail and a couple of rounds of shots, I found myself outside with Grey. The air was cold on my skin and Grey offered me his jacket, as I had forgotten mine. Moments after sliding my arms into his coat, I was pulled roughly forward by him until I stood toe to toe with him. He leaned down, putting his arms around my waist and his lips over the top of mine.

I me
t his fervent kiss like it was the oxygen I needed to breathe. His lips were hot on mine and he tasted like a mixture of alcohol and peppermint. I kissed him until my lips felt numb. When I pulled away, I looked into his eyes, and what I saw there was a reflection of my own desire and need. Before I could overthink the situation, I took my iPhone out and called a cab home.

When the cab arrived, I got in and pulled Grey in with me.
I told the driver my address. Now that my lips had warmed up some, I snuggled up to Grey and began to kiss him. He kissed me back with just as much passion and the journey home seemed shorter than I expected.

We stumbled up to my front door. I was desperate to get the key in the lock before sober Carly reared her ugly head.

I took off Grey’s jacket and threw it at the coat rack. I kicked off my shoes and took Grey’s hand, leading him into my bedroom. Tonight wasn’t the kind of night for lighting candles and being romantic—this was about Grey being inside me after ten years.

I pushed my bedroom door open and Grey started to unzip my dress. I batted his hands away and pulled him in front of me. I kissed him like my lips were fire and his the cooling water to douse the flames. He pushed me against the wall and I lifted my legs, wrapping them around his waist. My dress hitched up and Grey pushed my G-string to one si
de—he licked his finger and rubbed my sweet spot with it, beginning slowly. He inserted just one finger—his eyes lit up as he felt how wet I was for him already—then he added a second finger. I squeezed myself around his fingers and that dazzling smile lit his face like a beacon in the dark.

I looked up and his mouth came crashing down around mine. I grabbed the back of his hair in one hand while I kissed him with everything I had bottled up over the years. I had never had sex with anyone that could match up to Grey. He knew my body
better than anyone and how to get me to react.

I moved up and down to match the rhythm of his fingers deep inside me.

He removed his fingers, leaving me feeling empty—and undid the zip of his jeans. I held tighter with my legs while he dug around in his pocket for what turned out to be his wallet. He removed a foil packet with one hand and brought it to his mouth to tear open—I could feel how hard he was even through his jeans. I made a move to help him but he didn’t let me remove my grip from his waist. Finally, he was ready, and as he kissed me, he gently inserted his cock into my wet sex—he found the rhythm again easily and it was as though he’d never been away from me.

I
kissed along his jawline and made my way to nibble on his ear, which I knew he found hot and sexy. As I licked and nibbled his earlobe, he started moaning and his rhythm increased. He held my waist with one hand and pulled down the top half of my dress with the other. He undid my strapless bra and let it drop to the floor—that was when he moved to kiss his way from my ear to my jaw, a chaste kiss to my lips before he made his way down the front of my neck and continued his path down to my breasts. He flicked his tongue across my already erect nipple then pulled it into his mouth. I panted and moaned, not able to help the wordless sounds that escaped my lips.

Grey held my waist tight and turned us around to my bed
—there, he lay me down and moved momentarily out of me to slip my dress and G-string down to the floor. He stood tall and proud at the bottom of the bed for a moment, his heated gaze lighting my skin as he looked from my feet up and finally made eye contact with me.

A moan escaped my lips and Grey knelt on the floor and nuzzled himself between my thighs. He kissed from my knee down to my hot, wet sex
—then the same down the other leg. He put one finger inside me as he licked my sweet spot and I heard him moan, it was more like a growl in the back of his throat. As his mouth claimed me, a loud moan escaped my own lips. At that moment, I couldn’t care less about anything except this man fulfilling every thought I had since he left.

After what felt like an eternity, but also no time at all, Grey maneuv
ered himself above me on the bed and claimed my lips in a hungry kiss before trailing feather-light kisses down to kiss and suck my one breast while a hand played with the other—then he entered me once again. An incoherent sound escaped my mouth as he picked up my legs and put them around his neck. He pushed deeper inside me and I moaned over and over as he pushed in and out of me. He found the perfect rhythm and I moved up to meet him, matching his pace. Both of us were panting and moaning—if there was one thing I had missed when he was gone, it was him moaning, it made me hot to hear him express what it was I did to him.

In a
moment, I was screaming myself hoarse as I came in waves, over and over. Grey wasn’t exactly shy about moaning through his own orgasm. He flopped down on the bed next to me, exhausted yet sated. He put his arm over me protectively and I hoped that soon he’d be ready to go again.

Chapter Three

I woke to the sound of a phone ringing
, but it wasn’t mine. I felt Grey lean over me to retrieve the phone from the floor on my side of the bed—before he could answer, I saw the name ‘Maggie’ on the screen and was immediately flooded with guilt. I’d just slept with someone who was engaged to another woman—what kind of person did that make me? I pretended to still be asleep to see what Grey would do. He took the phone and left the room.

I got up and put my dressing robe around me. I could hear hushed conversation a
nd only caught snippets of it—from what I could tell, he said he had been to the club and stayed at a friend’s house.

A friend? Okay
, well, this friend was going to get something to eat to quiet her rumbling stomach. I went into the kitchen and busied myself with cooking breakfast. Minutes later Grey came into the kitchen in just his jeans. I couldn’t help but stare at the sculpted body he hadn’t had all those years ago.

“Would you mind if I take a shower?” Grey
asked as he came round the kitchen island to kiss me on the cheek.

“Sure thing, help yourself. There are clean towels in the cabinet
,” I said as my phone began to ring.

“Great, I’ll leave you to take your call in peace
.” He kissed my cheek again and went to take his shower.

I looked at the screen, it was
Jodie. What to say to her, that was the question.

“Hi
, Jodie,” I said in a breezy tone.

“Don’t ‘H
i Jodie’ me, lady!” She sounded angry. “What the hell happened to you last night? You just ditched me!”

“I didn’t ditch you,
Jodie. I thought Matt was taking you home, so I got in a cab and came home.”

“You didn’t even come to say goodbye
, so don’t try that one, Carly Summers!” she was seriously pissed at me and I knew I should be sorry that I had ditched my best friend.

Truth be known, I’d only had one thing on my mind at the time and that had been sex with Grey.

“Sorry, I was a little tipsy when I left. In case you hadn’t noticed, I drank a fair few cocktails.”

“Yeah, enough of them to get in a cab with Grey, no doubt
,” she said in a milder tone. She could never stay mad at me for long.

“Umm… Honestly? Yes, I did.” I could never lie to my best friend.

“Oh, Carly, he’s engaged. What happened? Is he still there?” She sounded annoyed at my stupidity and I couldn’t blame her—I was mad at myself.

“Yes
, he’s still here. Can I fill you in later? I want to go and have my breakfast,” I said in a more hushed tone.

“Okay but I want details. Speak to you later
.” She rang off before I could utter a goodbye.

I plated up breakfast for Grey and me, then I put his plate on the hotplate of my range cooker to keep warm.

I had just sat down when Grey entered the kitchen and took the stool opposite me at the kitchen island. His gorgeous brown hair glistened as the daylight caught on the beads of water—again he only had his jeans on.

“Good morning
,” he said as I got up to pass him his plate.

“Good morning
,” I replied and went back to eating my breakfast. There was silence as we ate and I wondered if Grey felt the tension or if it was just me, because I was mad at him—and pretty dang mad at myself.

“There’s some coffee on the counter over t
here, help yourself to the pot—the cups are in the cupboard directly above,” I said in a fake, cheerful tone.

“Thanks, can I get you one?” he asked and looked at me, forcing me to make contact with those beautiful eyes.

“That would be great, thanks.”

“Still take it white with two sugars?” he asked as he moved towards my coffee maker.

“Yep.”

I wasn’t sure how to make conversation with him.
Last night had been based on being tipsy and a base instinct I had felt since the moment I saw him in the club—but after what had passed, what could I say? I couldn’t ask him about Maggie.

“You okay
, Carls?” he asked as he came and put his arms around my waist.

I couldn’t help but bask in the warmth that emanated from his skin and his hot breath in my ear. I’d missed this. My life had effectively been put on hold since he’d left
, and though I’d moved on and found a career, I hadn’t found anyone to match Grey.

“Yeah
, I’m fine,” I lied as I broke his hold on me. “I’m going to get dressed, I have some errands to run.”

I left my half eaten breakfast on the kitchen island and made my way to my room.

“Oh, okay.” He sounded disappointed.

I
sat at the foot of my bed with my head in my hands and shame in my heart. The door creaked slightly as Grey knocked and entered. He came and crouched in front of me.

“You never could lie to me
, Carls. Tell me what’s going on, please?” He took my hands from my face and tilted his head to look me in the eye. How could I tell him I was ashamed of what we’d done? It wasn’t that I regretted the hottest sex I’d had in yea
r
s
,
it was just that I had slept with someone else’s fiancé. How could I be such a slut?

“I’m fine, just a little hung-over
,” I lied.

“As long as that’s it… You’re not regretting last night
, are you?”

“No, it was fun.”

“Fun? Is that all it was?” he asked, sounding a little offended.

“If you’re talking about the sex, it was amazing, but then you always were.”

“Carls,” he said, getting up and sitting next to me. “Look at me, please?”

I looked toward him and saw hurt flash in his eyes. How did he get to be hurt? He was the one with the fiancée. I was the one who’d disgraced herself sleeping with an engaged man. In this situation, I was the one wh
o should be hurting—which I was, deeply. He got to return to Maggie and obviously wouldn’t tell her about us, so I was the only one with anything to lose.

“Carls, after all these years away, I have never let go of my love for you. I’ve had relationships here and there
, but nothing has held a candle to you and me. I’m not saying leaving was a mistake—it helped me get my career off the ground, and as young as I was, I was naïve about the effect it would have on me. On you. But I’m home now, and if you’ll have me, I’m home to stay.” He looked me in the eye the entire time he spoke.

How could I trust anything he said? Wh
at was supposed to happen now—we’d had drunken sex, and as hot as it was, it wasn’t enough to make him leave Maggie. What right did I have wishing he would leave her? Come to think of it, what right did he have to act as though she didn’t exist?

“I never stopped loving you either
, Grey, but it isn’t that simple now. You can’t waltz back into my life after ten years and expect to pick up where we left off. Plus, you came home for your Aunt Lizzie, remember?”

“Yeah
, I did, but thankfully she’s getting better now, and it’s time to confront the ghosts of my past—the way we ended has haunted me ever since. I know better now. I want us to work, and if you do too, then there’s nothing to stop us.” He sounded so sincere.

I got up and pulled things from my wardrobe to get dressed, hoping he would get the hint that I did not want to have this conversation.

“Can you turn your back, please?” I asked, a little irritated that he watched me so intently.

He did as I asked and I quickly threw my clothes on. I picked up my clothes from the night before and threw them in the hamper in the corner. I sat down at my vanity and picked through my makeup bag, needing to do something to quiet my nagging conscience.

“What errands do you have to run? Anything I can help with?” Grey still ignored the elephant in the room.

“Grocery shopping, popping in to see
Jodie on her shift at the restaurant—a few other things.” I ignored the elephant, too.

“Can we meet for lunch at least? Please? I’m not going anywhere
, Carls. I’ll stay in town as long as it takes to win your heart and your trust,” he said as he sat on my bed and watched me put my makeup on.

“I promised
Jodie lunch, sorry.” I tried to act nonchalant but knew he could see through the façade. He may not know exactly what was wrong but he knew there was something I was holding in. Honestly, he should have known exactly what the matter was but it seemed he either didn’t have a conscience or he ignored it.

I got up and pulled a pair of boots from the bottom of my wardrobe. I pulled them on and left the bedroom.
Grey followed me into the lounge as I found my purse and car keys. Neither of us spoke for a few minutes.

“I’m not leaving until I get an answer
, Carls,” Grey finally broke the silence.

“An answer to what?” I asked as I made my way to the front door, Grey hot on my heels. He’d put his top and shoes on at some point and grabbed his jacket from the floor by the coat rack where it had landed last night.

“Us, Carls. Can there be an ‘us’ again?” He sounded like he was not above pleading. I looked into his eyes and my resolve faltered momentarily.

“Sorry
, Grey, but I’m not getting into that right now. I really do have to get things taken care of before lunch with Jodie,” I replied, hoping he would take the hint to shut up and leave.

“Okay, well
, I need to know if I can see you again—answer me that, at least?” he asked, a hint of pleading coming through his tone.

“I can’t answer that
, either. Look, Grey, last night was great, but there can’t be a repeat performance. I’m sorry. Now I really must go,” I said and opened the front door.

Dejected, Grey pulled himself together and walked past me to leave.

“I love you, Carly Summers. I mean it, you know that to be true. Look in your heart and answer yourself the question—do you still love me enough to give us another chance?” he said as he made his way to the curb.

“Do you want a lift somewhere?” I asked, feeling sorry for him.

“It’s okay, I’ll call a cab,” he said as he stood there, looking sad but still as hot as I remembered and then some.

“Okay, I’ll catch you around
,” I said as I got in and started the engine.

“See you
, Carls.” If possible, his tone sounded even sadder. I felt sorry for him but I couldn’t let myself go down that route when he had Maggie to go back to.

I drove away and saw him in my rear-view mirror. I couldn’t see his face
, but his stance told me he was hurt. I couldn’t afford to feel anything for him, not now.

I did my grocery shopping and paid some bills. It was
twelve o’clock when I got to the restaurant, hoping Jodie would be able to take her lunch with me—I’d lied to Grey about lunch, of course, but he didn’t need to know that.

She didn’t look pleased to see me but at least she agreed to lunch and brought us both a cold drink over to the booth in the corner where I had chosen to sit for the sake of a little privacy.

“Give it to me straight, girl. Leave out no detail,” Jodie demanded as she sat opposite me.

I recounted the details of last night, keeping nothing secret from my best friend. The look on her face ranged from surprise, to envy, to something I couldn’t put my finger on as I finished telling her everything.

“Well, I know I thought something like that had happened but you’ve surprised me, Carly—you’ve slept with someone else’s man, something I never thought you’d do,” she said as she sat in a state of shock.

“I know. I guess the fact that I was drunk and horny drowned out my conscience, until this morning
, that is.”

“Seems like he knew what he was doing. He can’t have been that drunk, else he couldn’t have… well… you know, got it up
,” she blushed as she added the last part.

“I never thought about that. If that’s the case, he should feel even guiltier than I do.”

“Doesn’t sound like he acted guilty this morning!” she replied.

“I’m not sure what happens from here
,” I said as I scanned the menu, anything to take my mind off what was eating me up inside.

Jodie
went and placed our orders, then we ate and made small talk—all the while I was feeling guiltier and guiltier over what I had done. Jodie was the only one I could confess my confusion and guilt to so I was glad she told me that we were good before we said goodbye. I didn’t want her mad at me for last night and it seemed she had forgiven me.

My phone beeped with a text message. I looked at the screen and saw it was from Grey.

We need to talk Carls. Please don’t
ignore me or shut me out. G xx